regret
that's what I felt after watching my life's memory for the hundert time.
ooh and if you are wondering where I am , will I am in the abyss, the void ,the nothing, or that's what I guess it is, and it's just goddam regretful to just feel nothing around you while watching your memory going forever in your mind.
because after watching it for like the 10th time, you start seeing how stupid you were with everything.
how many opportunities you let out ,out of your gasp because stupid things .
like the time when I was in second grade in elementary school, when I stopped playing piano because my friends at that time though it was not cool, or that time when I was in seventh grade ,when I quit the theater club, because the girl that I liked at that time refused my confession.
and many more things that I wish that I could change, but it was too late , too late for regret I guess.
and if you are wondering why I am going through all this memory lane over and over.
well let me tell you that feeling pain is better than feeling nothing.
because when I first got here , I glimpsed at the void before my memory started to have flash backs of my whole life over and over.
and it's a scary thing , I think that if my memory lane did not start at that second , I am pretty sure that I would be gone , or my concussion would be .
if I am sure about a thing, is that I dead at the age of 35,pretty young I know, but it's not like we choose when to die .
even though I did die Young with alot of regrets in my younger days, I did have a good normal life , with a loving parents, who did support me in my dream.
you see in my younger days, when I first saw Michael Jackson on the stage when I was a kid.i knew that I wanted to have this kind of effect on people on stage , so I wanted to become a singer. .
while I was having my inner monologue, Suddenly a white light started to form in front of me , and it started to expand and eat the darkness fast, after a minute or what i though is a minute ,I started to feel that the whiteness started to suck me in.