The smell of the sea salt, body of water brings back memories and reminds me of the days I would come home soaked in sand. The days when my friends and I would spend hours talking at the beach, as if we had nothing else in the world to do. We would bring snacks and water so we wouldn't get dehydrated and notebooks to sketch what was around us and our memories.
Memories from the days when we were young, and when all our thoughts were simply on what we were going to eat that day. Which usually ended up being some type of seafood, you end up, eating a lot of it when you live by the beach. Surprisingly, I never got tired of it, nor did I get tired of my friends, but eventually life went on and I realized we just had separate paths and different things that we remembered.
Some of us got distant and the memories I once thought were happy were sour, like a pickle, soaking up the moisture of garlic. Some of us became allergic to the taste and began to gradually move away and preoccupy ourselves with other tasks, well, everyone, but like Lillian.
He would always seem to gravitate to whoever was around at the time, clingy like a baby even when he turned eighteen. He just couldn't seem to be alone by himself, It was like he would go crazy without someone around him, even if it was just for a few minutes, he needed someone's voice in his head so his own mind wouldn't start to wander.
Sometimes, if we were okay with it, he would lie his head on our shoulders or our legs, falling asleep as if he hadn't slept for hours. The constant bags under his eyes only seemed to fade when he was around us and he did his best to stay away from home as much as he could. He would come over to my house or visit Royl's coffee shop, or camp out at the beach until he was kicked out.
I remember when he finally got his own place that's when I started seeing him rarely, all his attachments suddenly becoming the embodiment of his home. Even sometimes when I would visit, he wouldn't even answer so I would leave food or letters sometimes even calling his phone.
Which of course he wouldn't answer, no, voicemail because he didn't have one set up, and if I ever spotted him it was rare. Like seeing a whale out fishing, not as common as you think.
Until, of course, he disappeared, and then his house was empty, and part of me felt guilty. Felt like I should've done more, so I moved into his house and left mine.
I mostly left all his stuff the same just added a few of my own knickknacks and of course, people checked on me and wondered if I was sane. If I were going crazy as he did and wondered why I moved into the house of a missing person, a madman some would say. But for me personally, it was to keep his memory alive to make sure that the house he had was still his. Because it was really all he ever owned. I remember before he even got the house he talked about having a place that he could really make a mark on. Something that his parents didn't force him to have but something he got out of his own will.
That he could buy with his own money and make his own path, just like we had.
"I miss him, being by where it happened makes me feel closer to him, Dr.Windstone."
He clicked his tongue, "Morbid, don't you think? I mean you already live in the man's house and now you have to go to where he disappeared?"
"I'm careful."
"Not careful enough, you get too close to the cliffs and the deep end you could hurt yourself."
The end of his lighter clicked and he finally lit that cigar of his, "Do you think they would want you doing this, your friends?"
My hands dig into the side of my thigh and I take a deep breath, "Like, I said I'm careful, they know I can handle myself."
"What about Korian?"
"What about him?"
"You can't tell me he isn't worried." He exhaled the smoke, taking another inhale, seeming unfazed by my irritation.
"He still cares deeply, obviously."
"I know and if he has something to say he can say it, we're not dating anymore but I still want him to be okay. He just has to get all that internal conflict under control, not everyone is-"
My ears twitched and all of a sudden I started to sweat, my throat felt dry and I could feel something was wrong. Something had happened and someone was crying out for help, I swallowed dryly and quickly stood up. "I think I'm feeling tired actually."
He looked up at me and cocked a brow, "We just got here."
I wipe the sweat off my forehead and shake my head, "Listen, I don't know if Kai's father put you up to this but for now I'm done."
He stood up this time, looking at the salt pouring from my deep mahogany skin, a hand reaching out but I rejected it.
"No!" I shout in a sing-song tone and he freezes, his body almost like stone as he stands without a single twitch in his muscles.
My gaze was almost sympathetic until I heard that ringing in my ear again, my throat feeling like the desert as I clawed my thick nails onto it. Scales bleeding drops of crimson as my voice sings once more, Dr.Windstone slowly falls to his chair as his eyes start to droop. A sudden tiredness was pooling in his face giving me time to sneak away.
A light headache comes over me as I suddenly feel compelled to drown myself in saltwater, my heart rate mimicking the feeling of being chased as my throat stings.
"Lillian," I mumble, stumbling toward my house. It has to be his fault I feel this way; he's probably near or hurt.