To avoid alerting the enemy, to draw out the person who'd been secretly targeting Anxin all along, I deliberately destroyed Li Lin's phone recording and let them all mistakenly think I cared about Su Yuexin, that the only reason I destroyed the recording was to protect Su Yuexin! I wanted to shift that person behind the scenes' attention onto Su Yuexin, so as to lessen the danger Anxin was in.
But somehow, Anxin suddenly found out about my past with Ruan Zhitong. She pressed me, demanding to know whether I had ever loved Ruan Zhitong!
I answered very decisively: no!
Because I truly never loved Ruan Zhitong! Maybe I hadn't understood that before, but the more time I spent with Anxin, the more certain I became that what I felt for Ruan Zhitong was nothing but possession! Back then my heart was dark, and Ruan Zhitong was like a sheet of blank paper. I only wanted to possess that sheet of paper, hoping she could bring me light.
