"So I was right!" Luffy's delighted voice sounded at once. "The Ope Ope no Mi, the Op-Op Fruit, one of the most desired Fruits in the world. A Paramecia-type Fruit that allows its user to create a spherical zone within which he possesses complete control over the placement and orientation of objects, making him a 'Free Modification Human.' The Fruit received its name because someone compared its sphere to an operating table and its user to a surgeon... At least, that is what the latest edition of the encyclopedia of every Devil Fruit known to humanity says, and I know it by heart. It also explains why you're called the 'Surgeon of Death' instead of 'Sideburns,' 'Skinny,' 'Spotted Hat,' 'Feather Collar,' or 'Gloomy.' You remind me of my Zoro. He's always making grim faces too, as though his stomach constantly bothers him. Have you ever tried smiling more?"
"You talk too much." Luffy's entire verbal flood received a single concise answer that heralded a swift sword strike aimed directly at the young man's throat.
"I won't argue. I enjoy talking." Luffy sighed heavily and grasped his chin with his fingers while simultaneously tipping his head backward and slightly to the side, causing the tip of Law's sword to pass no more than a millimeter from his throat. "I've heard that criticism more than once—not merely dozens of times... Honestly, I hear it constantly! From friends and enemies alike!" Luffy continued talking as though nothing had happened, treating Law's attack as something completely insignificant. "On the other hand, I once met a man who loved eating other people's hearts while sincerely believing it would grant him their strength. Or there was this madman who collected his victims' eyes." Luffy avoided the 'Surgeon of Death's' next strike simply by stepping aside. "Compared with idiots like that, I think my talking makes me look perfectly normal... And by the way, since we've started discussing normality, would you like to hear my theory about normality and abnormality? You'll definitely enjoy it!"
Rather than answer, Law delivered another strike—one that might have appeared extraordinarily foolish to an outsider, because it was made from several meters away and seemingly could not harm Luffy. This swing of Law's sword was fast but did not look powerful and therefore bore no resemblance to the usual ranged attack of another swordsman. It appeared as though Law had swung his blade uselessly, perhaps deciding to show off. Yet Luffy's raised arm coated in Armament Haki and the sound of steel colliding with steel indicated that the 'Surgeon of Death' had managed to deliver some invisible strike.
"Armament Haki," Law involuntarily whispered, feeling fear tighten around his heart.
"You know about Haki?" Luffy immediately changed subjects as though the invisible attack had never occurred. "I knew there was a reason I liked you immediately! Just as I was say—"
The young man's further chatter was interrupted by a cry of "Ai-ya-ya!" and the attack of a white bear dressed in an orange jumpsuit bearing the Heart Pirates' emblem. Luffy blocked the first kick without difficulty, but once he saw his opponent clearly, he deliberately took the next and went flying through several metal bulkheads at once.
"Captain, are you all right?!" the bear asked anxiously, stopping beside Law.
"Bepo, be careful!" the gloomy 'Surgeon of Death' warned him at once. "Our present opponent is a monster unlike anything you've ever seen!"
"Captain, do you know the person who attacked us?!"
"No, but—"
"You have a talking white bear who knows kung fu, and you didn't tell me?!" Luffy's ecstatic voice instantly interrupted the conversation as it began. "I thought we were friends!!!"
In truth, although Bepo was a furry white bear, he scarcely resembled an ordinary one. He was specifically a cuddly bear, with no long muzzle, a round head, the ability to walk upon two legs, and nothing frightening about him. He looked like an enormous plush children's toy... a toy that knew kung fu and could speak. Luffy's delight was simple and understandable.
"We've known each other for so long, and you hid such a secret from me!" Pushing bent and torn iron bulkheads aside with his hands as though they were made from modeling clay, the broadly smiling Luffy returned to the place from which he had flown a minute earlier.
"Captain, you know him?!" Bepo asked in undisguised surprise.
"This is the first time I've seen him!" Law snapped, sending his bear into a stupor.
"Second!" Luffy disagreed.
"We've met before?" Now the 'Surgeon of Death' himself was confused.
"You've already forgotten? Then you clearly have problems with short-term memory. We met for the first time only a couple of minutes ago, and you've forgotten already. After your pet tyrannosaurus sent me flying and I returned, we met for the second time... Memory problems at your age!"
At that moment, Law finally understood there was no point trying to listen to his opponent's chatter. The young man plainly enjoyed the sound of his own voice and could therefore say any nonsense at all. Instead of responding, the 'Surgeon of Death' delivered another attack with his Fruit's ability. He struck without much hope. Armament Haki, Luffy's behavior, and the preceding exchanges allowed Law to estimate his approximate level—or rather, the complete impossibility of estimating it accurately, which itself said much. Law assessed his chance of victory as the smallest possible amount above zero. He was therefore even more astonished when Luffy's severed arm, cut off at the elbow, slapped onto the submarine floor.
"No, my arm!" Luffy exclaimed, his face twisted in horror as he snatched up the severed limb, his skin pale as death. "How could this..." he began, but then the detached hand became coated in Armament Haki, grabbed him by the throat, and began choking him furiously. "Ghk-ghk-ghk..." Luffy fell to the floor, twitching and wheezing as he futilely tried to tear his own hand from his throat.
Several blue streaks crossed the space between the young man lying on the floor and Law and Bepo standing nearby. A section of the outer hull, a human-sized iron triangle, was driven inward by a powerful impact from outside, and an enraged green-haired swordsman appeared before the 'Surgeon of Death.'
"'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro," Law said involuntarily.
Of all people, the 'Surgeon of Death' knew this man with certainty. He understood perfectly how important even the smallest piece of information could sometimes be, and intelligence concerning the most exceptional pirates of the current generation could hardly be called insignificant. Moreover, the story of Roronoa Zoro's becoming a pirate had received such wide publicity that failing to recognize this particular swordsman would have been difficult.
"LUFFY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
It should perhaps be clarified that Zoro was not merely angry, but extremely angry. The phrase he spoke had effectively been patented by Nami long ago, so hearing it from the swordsman sounded strange and unfamiliar. Such loud shouting was entirely unlike him as well.
"Trying to choke myself with my own severed hand," came the immediate answer from the young man writhing "in agony." Then, leaving the hand hanging from his throat, Luffy sprang energetically to his feet.
"Why did you let him cut off your arm?!" Zoro asked somewhat more quietly, though still with extreme emotion.
"Because it's fun! Look for yourself!" With those words, Luffy thrust the detached hand beneath the green-haired young man's nose. Its fingers immediately tried to grab the swordsman's nose, but he leaned backward in time. "See? It moves!" Luffy waved the fingers of the severed hand cheerfully at Zoro. "It looks cut off, but it feels as though it's still attached. And look—no blood!" The young man showed the swordsman the cut surface, shrouded in an impenetrable haze. "Now watch this!" Under his first mate's fixed gaze, Luffy pressed the severed arm back into place. "Voilà!" He showed Zoro a perfectly intact arm, as though it had never been cut off.
"Is that the power of his Fruit?" Zoro involuntarily looked at Law standing nearby.
"Yeah. Cool, right? The Ope Ope no Mi lets him cut anything into pieces or, conversely, join the severed pieces back together."
As a swordsman who did little besides cutting and severing everything, Zoro could say only one thing.
"Stupid Fruit."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"You think I don't know why you liked his Fruit's power so much?" Zoro asked rhetorically without reacting to Luffy's shouting. "You simply want to have fun."
"Exactly!" Luffy snapped the fingers of both hands loudly and pointed both index fingers at the swordsman. "Traffy!" Turning toward the 'Surgeon of Death,' Luffy spoke a sentence no normal person would ever utter. "Cut me into pieces!" In addition to his words, the young man sharply chopped the air before himself with one palm, demonstrating exactly how he should be divided.
"Luuuuuffyyyy..." Zoro did not so much draw the name out as growl it from deep in his chest.
"Why is it immediately Luffy? Just look at Traffy! You can tell at once he isn't stupid! And he knows about you, so he certainly won't kill me, because then you'll kill him immediately, which probably isn't on his immediate list of things to do. It would be much more reasonable for him to lie low and temporarily indulge my whims, then wait for a good opportunity and get as far away from us as possible. Traffy, do you agree?" Luffy turned toward the aforementioned 'Traffy' and asked him directly. "I'll tell you immediately, that is the most reasonable plan available to you! Approved! See, Zoro? As I said, Traffy is intelligent, so the plan he created is a good one. You have absolutely nothing to worry about! Now, Traffy, cut me apart! Make sure my head is separate, my arms remain with my torso and cut off my legs at the waist so they can walk by themselves. Understand everything? Then cut!"
For several long seconds, Law silently stared at the delighted Luffy. Then he slowly shifted his gaze to Zoro, but the swordsman stood with his eyes covered and one hand clasped over his face. Bepo looked like a faded photograph. The 'Surgeon of Death' understood that no help could be expected from those present. Uncertainly raising his sword, Law cast one more glance toward Zoro, then delivered a hesitant strike at Luffy using his Fruit. Until the final instant, he could not believe there might be a person somewhere in the world who would truly allow his head to be cut off. Yet Luffy's severed head obediently flew upward, fell to the submarine floor, rolled through several revolutions, and stopped beside Zoro's feet. A second later, delighted laughter filled the room. Naturally, it came from the severed head. At that moment, Law felt something inside him die—possibly the very faith in people that Corazon, the man who had once saved his life and replaced his family, had cultivated with such difficulty.
Another strike followed the first. As Luffy had requested, he was now divided into three pieces.
"Come on, Zoro. Now you know what to do!" Luffy's severed head addressed his first mate.
The green-haired young man plainly wished to finish the entire affair as quickly as possible. Without a word, he threw all three pieces of Luffy's body, one after another, through the opening he had made in the submarine and directly onto the Going Merry. By then, both the submarine and the Hats' ship had passed between two lighthouses, left the water channel, and entered the open sea, where they came to a stop beside one another. Johnny, Yosaku, and Sanji had just been considering visiting the submarine after Zoro and Luffy when pieces of their captain's body fell directly onto the deck before them. The young man's head stopped particularly conveniently—conveniently for Luffy, naturally—in front of Nami and Usopp, allowing him to create even more drama immediately.
"R-run!" Luffy wheezed with theatrical strain, completely ignoring the fact that a severed head should be unable to speak. "He's... he's too strong! Zoro and I are already dead. R-run!" Repeating the final word, Luffy closed his eyes and let his tongue hang out as though he had finally died.
Yosaku's cigar slipped from his weakened fingers. Sanji's cigarette fell from his open mouth. A short distance away, Nami lost consciousness and collapsed onto the Going Merry's deck. The next instant, Johnny, Yosaku, and Sanji all turned pale and rushed toward Luffy's severed head. Usopp's reaction, however, proved the most interesting. His expression changed for only an instant, after which he tilted his head to one side in confusion. Compared with everyone else's panic, one could say he did not react at all to the 'murder' of his 'all-powerful' captain.
"LUFFY!!!"
Sanji proved the unfortunate man who picked up the young man's severed head. Unfortunate because the moment he raised it level with his face, Luffy immediately opened his eyes and roared:
"RAAAAAH!!!"
"AAAAAAAH!!!"
Poor Sanji nearly followed Nami's example but instead hurled the head away as though it were a piece of red-hot metal.
"What the…." Johnny began, but Luffy's torso attacked him at that moment and began choking him furiously.
"What the…." Yosaku began after Johnny, but like his friend, he immediately became the 'victim' of an attack from Luffy's body parts—this time the severed legs.
Luffy's severed head laughed hysterically. His torso and arms choked Johnny, while his severed legs kicked Yosaku around the deck like a ball. Sanji sat on his backside with his mouth open and eyes bulging. Nami lay unconscious. Only Usopp watched the proceedings with an openly baffled expression. The long-nosed young man's reaction truly did not match his usual behavior—he should have been more frightened and astonished than anyone else! At that moment, however, no one was capable of noticing such a strange response.
"What the..." The familiar beginning sounded for a third time, now from Tashigi, who had just returned from the bathroom. Her sentence ended only because the girl completely lost the power of speech once she fully understood what she saw.