"Waylon! I need two chicken set meals, asap!" I yelled to my newest cook who was definitely scaring some of the customers to the point of almost shitting their pants. Not that I cared as long as they managed to keep that shit inside themselves and not make a mess of my floors. Not to mention this was Gotham, they would likely get used to Waylon being in the kitchen in about a week or two.
The scaly former villain's entrance as a new employee had gotten... mixed reactions. Most of which were people just running away but the real reaction to notice had came from the other members of the so called rogues.
Some of the goons, as I was too uncaring to learn their actual names, had tried to make fun of the reptilian man and had been swiftly thrown out of my fine establishment. A cook or not, Waylon was still strong enough to throw them around like a rag doll after all.
The rest on the other hand seemed like they were happy for Waylon. Sure, there had been some grumblings about how he 'gave up' or some other bullshit but most of the reaction from the more notable criminals like Freeze were definitely positive.
Still, it had taken him almost a month before I had deemed him acceptable in the kitchen. And tonight would show if I was right.
"This is a bar! Why do we have such a big menu for food?!" Though going by his cries, Waylon might not exactly be happy about the arrangement. "How did you deal with all this while you were alone?!"
"By moving my hands instead of my lips!" And a liberal use of magic that turned the kitchen into a scene out of a Disney movie but admitting that would undermine me a little bit so I kept that part quiet.
It was actually rather impressive work that Waylon was doing in the kitchen. A part of it was likely due to his scales that seemed to be unaffected by hot oil splashes which allowed him a greater range of movement in the kitchen. I didn't know if this kind of resistance to heat was something that actual crocodiles or alligators also possessed but it certainly was handy for Waylon.
I kept pouring drinks. Tonight was strangely lively in the bar. Most of the time my customers were simply sad drunks of Gotham and a small gathering of Batman's 'rogues' who were content to keep to themselves. Sometimes there would be one or two ordinary people who just wanted a good drink but they were a minority.
Yet tonight the customers seemed oddly jolly. A state that was weird in Gotham in the first place.
"What's got everyone so happy tonight?" I asked as I slid over a highball to Riddler. Not exactly a common face in the bar but he wasn't on the list of persona non grata, which included the likes of Joker and Professor Pyg.
"Zsasz just got himself captured." The green clad villain said with a smile. "The cops are keeping it hush hush but apparently Batman found him before he could attack anyone and ended up breaking both of his legs. Meaning we won't have to deal with that psycho in a long time!" He said with a laugh as he talked about another member of the persona non grata list.
This did bring a smile to my face, with such joy that I decided to give Riddler a ten percent discount on his drink for bringing the news to me. Zsasz was a complete human waste and the only reason that he wasn't the biggest argument for death penalty to be brought back in Gotham was because Joker was a thing. Hearing what Batman did to him was pleasing.
Now if only someone could finish the job. Back on my original earth, some guard would have 'watched' him 'falldown' some stairs by now.
My pleasant thoughts were interrupted as someone kicked the door open. Like they actually did a whole spartan kick to open the door and let their leg stay in the air like that. Though that was far less concerning than the identity of the kicker.
"Hello boys!" None could mistake that pale face and smile. "I'm back!"
…it was only a matter of time anyway.
——————
"Have you located him yet?" Robin asked, with only the barest of amount of anxiety in his voice that he would deny the existence of till the end of his days.
"No." Batman wasn't much better, except for hiding it.
They had been far too happy with their victory over Zsasz without anyone getting hurt and they let their guard down for the rest of the patrol. Until they caught one reported sighting of Joker before he disappeared again.
Joker being free was bad. Zsasz might be able to compete with the Clown Prince of Crime when it came to insanity but he wasn't even one tenth as dangerous as Joker.
People loved making fun of Batman and how he could go against anyone in the whole universe as long as he had 'preptime'. The phrase had basically became a meme a day after Joker broadcasted a death trap for Batman with sharks only for the Dark Knight to pull out shark repellent spray. Then it became even more widespread with the videos and news of him defeating more meta villains with specialized gadgets. PrepTime was the magic item that made Batman who he was.
How easy it was to forget that Joker too used Prep Time. As a matter of fact, the clown used far more time preparing his schemes than Batman needed to foil them. It wasn't exactly easy to prepare Joker themed carnival balloons filled with Smilex or creating a ray that could create playing card themed boxes around whoever it hit to trap them?
No, Joker was the true user of Prep Time.
Meaning that every second they didn't get him was another second he was planning something dangerous. Another second where he…
"…at! Come in Bats!"
"Gordon?" Batman picked up the radio, the one connected to the transmitter he gave to Gordon to call him if he got any news. Something that led to the police comissioner grumbling about how he wasn't just another source for a vigilante. He still took the transmitter though.
"We got him Bats. We got the bastard! But it's bad."
"How many?" Batman asked, preparing himself for the number of people who were killed because he wasn't there.
"None from our side. Or any civilians." The answer was shocking, even if in a positive way. But if Gordon hadn't lost anyone or no civilians had gotten hurt, what was 'bad'?
"It's the Joker, but all of his limbs are broken. He also has lost a lot of blood and his jaw is gone!"