"So, is everyone excited for the trip?" I ask the occupants of the private plane as I leave the bathroom, dressed in a fresh set of non-bloody clothing. Seated in the plush red seats are, of course, Himi and Eri, who have been waiting for the I-Island Expo ever since Melissa mentioned that she would be sending us tickets way back before the Sports Festival. I have, admittedly, been doing what I can to avoid her calls since then due to the whole 'coming out of the villain closet' thing, which was much harder than it should have been with her being stuck on a technically private island/isolationist nation.
Evidently being genius programmers also means that they are genius hackers. Couple that with the wide variety of inventions and the fact that Melissa consistently makes stuff for her personal use and I've gotten very good at ducking out of sight whenever she hacks something that can display video and audio nearby to try and find me. I still have no idea how she can locate where I generally am, but she can. Thankfully she stopped after Himi told her that the three of us would one hundred percent be going to I-Expo, but not before leaving the ominous threat of how we better come. Or else. I'm pretty sure that ominous 'or else' means that she would build a miniature nuke and slip it into my bed.
Safe to say that, with the exception of Eri, we agreed that we would be there no matter what. Though it's a good thing that Eri decided she would rather meet her 'crazy aunt Mel' than hang out with her 'gaming uncle Tomu' when he showed up at the mall. Melissa would have been so mad if she wasn't here! Speaking of mad…
"Mei! No inventing on the plane!" The dreadlocked girl growls - literally growls! - at me without looking while her hands continue their frantic, undecipherable movements among the scattered remains of one of the plane chairs. Honestly I expected something like this when she begged/threatened/bargained for us to bring her on the trip. I'm just relieved that she hasn't tried to take apart something more important in the plane, like the engine. Though I have no doubt that she was eyeing it when the plane took off even though I couldn't see her…
"Nope." Aaaaand I spoke too soon. I grab her by the back of her shirt and drag her away from where she was about to take a jury-rigged blowtorch to the side of the plane. I lift her one handed when we get to our destination and plop her onto the lap of the fifth occupant and reason we were even allowed to go to I-Expo, causing the young old man to startle awake mid-snore. I click my tongue and shake a chiding finger at him. "Bad old man! No letting the gremlin invent on the plane!" As if to punctuate my point, something explodes among the abandoned debris we walked away from less than a minute ago. Thankfully it isn't big enough to blow a hole in the aircraft, but I'm also pretty sure that Mei had only just gotten started.
Gran Torino grumbles to himself before snagging Mei by the back of her shirt as she tries to jump away and resume her mission to 'show those Islanders that she's just as good as them'. When she mentioned that back at the airport I asked if they refused to let her join them or something but she just looked at me like I was crazy and said no. Evidently she just wants to prove that she could join them if she wanted, but she's determined to build up the future Hatsume Industries, something she wouldn't be able to do with how guarded I-Island is about their most 'dangerous' or 'impressive' inventions they keep regulated to the island.
I let out an amused huff and fall into the seat next to Himi while she cackles at the other girl's antics. Eri, meanwhile, continues to ignore us and play on the mobile console in her hands. Maybe I shouldn't have let her bring that, given she's been on it the whole flight (I assume), but I doubt she'll be paying much attention to it when she sees how cool a nation of geniuses is. Especially since Melissa said that she's made a few inventions specifically with my daughter in mind! She's a good cousin, and I have a feeling that this is going to be a good trip.
Said feeling continues even when Mei manages to free herself from my godfather by turning her phone into a taser, locks herself in the bathroom, then rushes out five minutes later and locks the door just in time for an explosion to go off and a warning about needing an emergency landing to come from the plane's speakers. She doesn't even have the grace to look sheepish about it, just laughing and saying that she used too much soap in… whatever it is she was trying to make. Oh well, figuring out her inventing process is a fool's errand, one that us lowly non-inventors can never hope to comprehend. Maybe Melissa will have better luck since she has about the same amount of mad genius as Mei does. Not that I'd ever say that of course, they would both kill me. Literally in Mei's case since she knows I'll come back, though Melissa might do it anyways. Inventors can be like that sometimes.
Anyways, it's an unfortunate fact that an emergency landing means that I-Island security will be coming to guide and investigate us, so it's back into the suitcase with me! Which is doubly unfortunate since it's too small to fit a living person due to needing to qualify as a carry on. Oh well, at least Himi will get to enjoy herself before they show up.
Everyone will just have to work together to clean up all of the blood before they get arrested!
`~`
I pop out of the suitcase like a demonic jack in the box, covered in blood from the incredibly recent dismemberment and consequent game of corpse tetris, and sweep my arms in a wide curve above my head as dramatically as I can. "Ta-daaa! The wonderful me appears!" I grin widely as if my teeth can sparkle, completely ignoring the fact that they are also coated in blood. Despite my expectations of either applause or screams of horror, what I get instead is a calm and calculating voice that sends a shiver down my spine and makes me briefly contemplate snapping my neck so I can go bother Receptionist again instead of dealing with what will undoubtedly occur when that tone makes an appearance.
"So, he really does come back to life," the voice says with the clinical detachment that thinly obscures the frantic, no, manic fascination of someone who has just been presented with a challenge. I swallow and slowly start to turn around in order to face the person who spoke, only for said person to immediately let out a high pitched shriek and continue speaking, now completely lacking the previous threatening tone and filled with horrified embarrassment. "No, don't turn around! Izuku, you're naked!"
I stop and glance down to see that I am indeed lacking in the clothing department, except for my shirt. Which is incredibly suspicious since I know I should have the underwear I was wearing like I did when I came back to life on the plane. Which means…
"Himi," I sigh, "please give me my pants back so that I don't flash my cousin." Hah, no blush! You're going to have to try harder than that, Himi! I'm smart enough to only think that though because she will absolutely take it as permission to do things out in public, things that will most likely one hundred percent make me blush.
Alas, what my cackling girlfriend hands me is not a pair of pants, but a full length blue dress accompanied by one of those stuffed bras that make people think a girl has bigger boobs than they actually do. Still, I refuse to fall to her efforts to make me blush! I calmly slide the bra up my shirt to strap it around my chest before pulling the dress on while wondering why Himi has a stuffed bra in the first place. It's not like she's ever worn one before since she doesn't need them. Maybe she nabbed it from Sky before we left the mall? Regardless of where the random piece of women's underwear came from, the end result is that I am now in a dress and look like I have a bit of a chest.
…Now that I think about it, hasn't Himi mentioned that I look androgynous enough that I could pass as a girl with a little work? "Himi, you know you could have just asked if you wanted to see me in drag, right?"
Himi snickers before giving me a peck on the cheek. "Yeah, but I thought your cousin's expression seeing you so casual about it would be funny!"
I turn around and see my cousin, Melissa Shield, a tall girl with long and thick blonde hair and wide glasses over eyes that toe the line between blue and green, flipping which they are depending on how the light hits. I can agree that the redness in her cheeks from her embarrassment, coupled with the baffled/mildly jealous expression mixed with the narrowed eyes is pretty funny. So I give Himi a thumbs up while using my other hand to flick some of my hair out of my face. "All is forgiven, dear," I say in a very convincing feminine voice, which causes Himi to do a double take that has me snickering. "Not my fault you never tried to get me in a dress before. It's not the first time I've pretended to be a girl and it won't be the last!"
Of course, the previous times were usually when I pretended to be Izumi so I could mess with her friends without anyone realizing it. I'm pretty sure a few of them still think that her favorite ice cream flavor is rainbow sherbet even though she always screeches about how it shouldn't be counted as a single flavor due to the individual colors having different tastes.
Anyways.
I give Melissa a wide smile and a wave, ignoring the offended look she has from my earlier comment about her face being funny as I greet her and gesture towards Himi. "It's good to see you again, Melissa. This is my girlfriend Himiko Toga." I pause and look around before fixing my eyes on said girlfriend, who has suddenly decided that this is a good time to start whistling. Innocently. My eyes narrow.
"Himi…" I say leadingly in an overly sweet tone. "Where is Eri?"
Rather than getting my answer from the person I'm asking, I instead get it from a loud explosion that launches something in a large arc through the air on a direct course towards the three of us. The object crashes into me and forces me to the ground where I let out a sigh before lifting a soot covered little girl up into the air without bothering to get up. Sure, there's a bit of blood welling up from where her horn stuck my shoulder, but other than that Eri looks fine. Still, this is not a typical situation.
"Eri, what did we say about Mei and her inventions?"
"Supervise, not participate," she rattles off immediately. I nod.
"That's right, so why are you the one being blown up?"
She points in the direction she came from, where there are in fact more explosions coming from now. "There's a contest and they said audience participation."
I nod again. "Fair." I let my head drop so I can get a view of Melissa behind me. "This little stabby gremlin is Eri, my daughter."
Said stabby gremlin nods, happy with the description, before waving enthusiastically at Melissa with a bright smile. "Hi Auntie Mel!"
Melissa.exe has crashed. Cute capacity exceeded.