First I was 'tutored' by Azula in the game of Shogi which apparently was an even larger royal version that had more pieces and the game board was even bigger. And with raised sections to simulate mountains where the pieces coudn't pass through.
And Azula was just as I feared as I most certainly recognized her as belonging to the Avatar universe... Though with how this world was, god knows if the Avatar's universes actual Azula reincarnated here after she died.
I honestly couldn't tell.
Either way, Azula was forceful in her advice/order's. She had a layer of cunning sure, but her tactic's started and finished with burning her opponent alive with overwhelming force which I could relate to.
But this was a strategy game. No one piece could win the entire game and sacrificing all your other pieces to allow that one piece to flourish was stupid.
"Move your bishop over to the mountain pass, through here you can attack their back line with overwhelming force in later turns." Azula advised me and then in the next five turns... I lost the game as the Daimyo led an overwhelming strike through the collection of my other pieces while the bishop was off doing fuck all.
The next game went similarly as well, Azula barely let me play at all and I gamely kept a patient expression as Azula all but tried to rule my 'army' through my own hand and her orders.
And when I advised caution when he had all his special pieces holding a mountain pass, I suggested we go around the 'mountain pass' so that we may flank and attack them within the pass on both ends.
Nope, Azula got snippy and said. "So that's how you see the enemies of the Land of Fire? Aren't you supposed to be the next First Hokage? Breaker of armies and slayer of divine manifestations?"
In my somewhat stunned state at being insulted so plainly even in front of the Fire Daimyo, she literally took my pieces and moved them for me and I saw the Fire Daimyo close his eye's with a slight frown before he moved his own pieces.
First the bulk of his armies did exactly what I suggested as we made our way into the three movement space narrow passageway towards their pieces. And as my pieces approached, that allowed the Fire Daimyo over the next dozen turns have his main special pieces retreat further into the valley.
All the while, the bulk of his pieces began entering the valley from behind our own army and counting the movements of the pieces I just shook my head and said flatly. "This game is over. Every turn I will lose at least two pieces while you lose only one."
Azula flushed with anger at my words and she went to say something in anger but the Fire Daimyo spoke genially. "What would you have done differently in reality if you faced this situation. My king piece being a ninja or samurai matching your own strength and you having a matching army."
I raised an eyebrow at the question and after a moment of thought I took a breath and I pointed at the mouth of the valley on our end. "I would become a breaker of armies as Azula spoke. With each turn signifying hours of time to move through this large mountain valley choke point I would turn it into a death trap in that time."
The Daimyo smiled thinly and asked calmly. "And how would you do that?"
I shifted slightly and then, with a cold tone, I explained. "The mountains on both sides would be turned into active volcanoes with the help of my contracted summon who is a Demigod lava spider. And as the volcanoes erupt with all their fury, I would control a giant golem of wood, I would have had hours to reinforce and fill it with tens of thousands of paper bombs to explode when it was close to being defeated by my so-called peer."
After all... With enough paper bomb's even Obito, an asshole who could hide in another fucking demension technically died so let's see someone who can't do that survive that.
The Fire Daimyo gave a hum of thought before nodding. "With the scope of merely having that time frame and not any other details added. That is a workable plan except for one crucial aspect."
He pointed at my own army and said blandly. "A king leading his army shoudn't slaughter his own army in friendly fire."
My lips twitched as I kinda forgot that bit with how I was immortal and Quelaag was quite literally immune to things like common lava and what not.
Regardless, he shifted and turned to Feng Xue'Er, and with a wave of his hand, the board's special topography shifted, and he spoke. "Now Feng Xue'er. You will guide him."
And the games went entirely differently this time. Feng Xue'Er, although proud, didn't charge into 'battle' seeking to use overwhelming force. She, very specifically, 'advised' picking off targets at the side while using the topography to set traps with other pieces to pincer the Daimyo's own advancing pieces.
I did pick off more pieces in these games then with Azula for sure. But the Daimyo would just instead encircle my army and king piece and likewise go for a battle of attrition that he would win over time.
"Playing too conservatively will also result in a loss as well young man." He spoke with wisdom before he looked between Azula and Feng Xue'er, who went slightly stiff at his gaze.
Then the Fire Daimyo spoke in a cold manner. "Azula, you let your pride and impatience rule your mind and heart. Forcing men to die at your will without any care or justification will lead to you being fed from a poisoned plate."
Azula swallowed down her indigination as the Daimyo mericlessly continued while I sat there uncomfortable as fuck during this dressing down. "Not only that, but you overrode the player's own choices. In the real world, you would have taken the imperial seal to forge your own military orders? You would have such audacity!?"
At the end, Azula shrank in and she spoke quietly. "It's just a-"
But she silenced herself as the air rose in heat as the Fire Daimyo's fiery eye's brightened with the fire's roiling at Azula daring to contradict him.
There was a moment of silence before the Daimyo looked away from the cowed Azula and looked at Feng Xue'Er and spoke more genially even if not warmly. "Feng Xue'Er, you are a soft princess. More akin to the Goddess above us, then anyone in the royal lineage currently with your own talent with fire manipulation."
He took a breath and then continued. "But you are afraid of full frontal confrontation. You are a princess, not an empress or future Daimyo."
Finally his eye's looked to me and the Daimyo was silent for a long moment before he spoke calmly. "And as for you... You are too reactive. But regardless, if you had to play a hundred games of Shogi a day for the rest of your life. Who among these two would you want as your advisor or confidant?"
I blinked at the question before I shifted as I gave the two women a glance. Then I spoke honestly. "Feng Xue'Er."
And the Daimyo nodded in understanding before he ordered bluntly. "Defend your reasoning and choice."
My lips twitched at the demand as I could feel Azula glaring at me from across the table at having not been picked. 'Is he trying to set up an engagement with me to one of his daughters?' I mused as it did make sense honestly.
But regardless I said simply. "She is the type of woman I prefer. Gentle as water, having a good mind, and willing to fill in for any faults I have."
The Daimyo smiled, an actual smile that reached his eye's and he said quietly more to himself then me. "That's good Akari. Understanding that about a relationship will help much."
There was a moment of silence before the Daimyo looked back to Feng Xue'er and spoke firmly. "And you Feng Xue'Er you would accept this appointment?"
And with that, I knew down to my very soul that this was indeed his plan to tie my ass to the royal family. As I was so 'clearly blessed' that people may be thinking that Amaterasu may be considering having the royal family replaced.
Feng Xue'er closed her eyes and after taking a breath she spoke with a soft tone. "I would."
Finally I spoke out as I wasn't going to just be led around on a noose like this. "You know... You could have just let this happen organically. This roundabout way to force a marriage or union is going-"
The Daimyo's eye's silenced me as I felt a pressure fall on me and I frowned as it the pressure had clear hints of divinity in it. The same divinity of Amaterasu who gazed upon myself so openly when I got the perk to turn into a kitsune.
"This... Wasn't my plan." The Daimyo spoke, rolling the words across his tongue like poisoned wine he himself had to drink. "The goddess Inari has advised Amaterasu of the value of such a union which will bring countless benefits for all involved."
I was silent for a moment as I couldn't spit in the face of Amaterasu... No that heresy laid the path of my ass being sealed away in a wine jar for eternity or some other horrible fate when people realized I couldn't be killed.
Then, as the table was silent, I held in a twitch as the Celestial Grimoire pulled down another perk that filled my mind with it's power and I couldn't help but deadpan at it's content.
[God Skin Inheritor- Though the true font of Destined Death has been sealed away, and with it your potential to slay the gods, you retain a measure of control over the black flame that derives from it. Through a series of incantations, you can summon weapons or simply conjure plumes of scourging flame against your foes, or reinforce yourself against various attacks. You may discover other uses of the deadly flame with careful study. In addition to this, as a skilled seamster of skin your flaying rites have permitted you to assimilate a degree of inhuman (or whatever you are) physiology, granting you uncanny feats of strength, endurance and dexterity. Your bizarre joints let you wield seemingly asymmetric weapons with such uncanny skill while a traditional blade moves faster than the eye can follow in your hand, and like rubber your flesh can pulse, expand and bend flexibly with speed enough to slam hardened warriors aside-and agility enough to whirl around the battlefield without disorientation.]
'Why am I cursed to get so much Elden Ring and Dark Soul's nonsense? Why can't I get some more Touhou stuff?' I whined internally even if I couldn't help a slight twitch as the new information filled my mind.
But there were two things the perk didn't account for in giving me this power and setup... I was already a Death Bed Companion, and I had already began gestating my own Rune of Death. Lastly, I had been using the Black Knife that had a shard of Destined Death within it quite a lot.
With this new perk, I had an epiphany and the world seemingly darkened with that epiphany and the royals stiffened as thick mist covered the ground.
A soft feminine voice spoke aloud as I was filled with the realization of what Death was in all its form and the voice was an older, more husky version of Kamimu Saigu's voice. "He is my champion as well mortal... Pay heed to that lest you be tortured for all your immortal afterlife in insulting me."
And after finishing that the deep mist across the ground turned black, turning the world almost into a black and white painting, as the world seemingly lost all brightness and contrast, as a thin hand landed on my shoulder from behind me.
I felt the divinity of death flow into me and I shivered as I could feel something etching itself across my back and then my halo above my head flared with light with the form behind me chuckling and moving away.
The world brightened, no it was bathed in the sun's light with the dense mist across the ground literally sizzling under the sun's furious glare and the presence left as I awoke from my stupor even if I could register the cold... Stupidly powerful divine form that was behind me and claiming me as her own.
'Oh dear... Izanami was just here.' I thought with horror before I realized something even more scary.
The Mending Rune of Death was complete within my soul. What that meant seeing as I didn't have the full Elden Ring to use it for? Hell if I know.
But I had to put that thought process aside as Azula stood up with a scowl as she glared at me. "Father! This freak is... Beloved by the death goddess! He is a literal death flag for the royal family if he is tied to us!" She shrieked.
The Daimyo's calm expression was turned into a frown before he spoke calmly despite the frown. "In all my years of being the Daimyo, I have seen the gods more than thirty times... Not once has Lady Izanami spoken to me so clearly."
The leader of the Land of Fire closed his eye's before speaking carefully. "Akari Sadra, I dismiss you. Go in peace as much needs to be considered."
I was quiet for a moment before I exhaled and stood up and left the opulent patio and strode across the path as I headed for the exit of the Royal Palace, uncaring if the Daimyo planned to call me back at some point later today.
I wanted out and I needed a fucking break after the long day.
As I got to the exit of the palace under the escort of a guard, Jiraiya was standing there at the gate with his arms folded over his chest and looking at me with a grim look. "So Izanami came huh?" He grunted.
I nodded and he just sighed. "Yeah, come on Akari. I know a good onsen outside of the capital where we can get private baths to relax."
'A private bath? Nah, he is going to go perving.' I thought rolling my eye's but Jiraiya spoke kindly as we moved away from the palace. "You hanging in there Akari? I am not messing with you, but today has certainly been eventful."
A sigh escaped me before I shrugged and said with a wry smile. "You know what. I wouldn't say no to getting blasted off this Oni Wine and fucking a four out of ten so long as she didn't smell bad afterwards."
There was a pause as Jiraiya just stopped in his walking, making me pause. And I couldn't help a chuckle at seeing his dumbfounded expression at my words.
"Come on you old lug. I need to get the hell out of here before that man calls me back to dump one of his insane daughters into my lap." I spoke urging Jiraiya who blinked at my words.
"The Daimyo didn't even let you cook the rice before trying to hitch you!? We gotta get out here then!" Jiraiya said with clear fear and with that he jumped onto one of the nearby buildings and shouted. "Fly you fool! We must flee before he comes to his senses!"
-
Five minutes later the Land of Fire's capital was in high alert after seeing me and Jiraiya fleeing the capital like we had just made an attempt on the life of the Daimyo but in that time we had already long since fled and with our speed, we made our way to the west in the direction of the Land of Grass
"Alrighty then! Now that we are out of the den filled with snakes and dragon's. Let's get you all wiped out haha!" Jiraiya laughed as he ran below me as I floated over the ground.
I nodded and then I smiled wryly and asked with some trepidation. "So... Whatcha think Kamimu Sagui is going to do when she sees me again and sees how I have been literally touched by her grandmother?"
Jiraiya's face twitched and he looked at me in naught but pity before he said. "You think mortal women are difficult? Wait till that girlie sees you. She may be all skin and bones but all you are going to be is bones when she sucks you dry after seeing her grandmother approve of you."
"Kamimu is a bit pale for sure... But you can't say she is skin and bones." I said with a knowing smile as the somewhat scary girl was definitely a bit topside heavy even with her wearing rather formal kimono's that hid her form.
The sage just laughed at my words with him saying happily. "Good man! Never let a woman's breast size prevent you from loving her!"
I raised an eyebrow and I then cut off his laughter as I asked sagely. "What if the woman's breasts are lopsided a bit too much in size?"
Jiraiya looked down at me with a solemn gaze and he said with a will that could cow the very gods as he spoke. "Then we love her all the more... For misshapen titties are a sign that her heart is both open to the most love and care, and needing it the most as well!"
The rest of the trip to the onsen, I just gave up all fucking shame and I think as the sun was swallowed by the clouds that our shameless words and conversation, that Amaterasu herself hid herself away in her palace rather then listen our shameless perverted rambling.
Once we got to the hot springs by following the river that went down past the capital and reached a mountain that had some volcanic vents to make the natural hot springs.
I made true of my prior words and I went into a private hot spring with that large sapphire Oni Wine Jug and buck naked and relaxing in the almost scaldingly hot bath. I just drank all my worries away.
Ok, more than drinking my worries away. I was drinking all my thoughts away as well.
"You know... I don't like fighting, I don't mind killing evil youkai and even those bandits. But I just actually don't like fightning." I slurred a bit as I felt my immortality fighting the poisons within the burning oni wine that was weighing down my mind into a fog as I kept drinking more.
Jiraiya grunted in affirmation before he said in his own rather drunken voice as a dozen small bottles of sake littered the back of the hot springs behind him. "Yeahhh I get that Kari... I just hate killing in general, sure those bandits and youkai need to be culled, but I wish I didn't need to kill. Fighting can be fund thou." He giggled at the end.
I gave Jiraiya a dull... Ok, a drunken glare and I retorted. "Fightning suck's you get kicked in the balls, punched in the face. And then when you beat the shit out of a friend in sparring it... Sucks I guess."
Jiraiya was silent for a moment, and as I looked over I saw him drooling slightly before he shook his head to clear his head again before he downed another small bottle of sake. "Haaa... That's all true, but ehh. You not liking the pain involved is normal, but in terms of getting hurt or your friends getting hurt."
Jiraiya took a deep breath and then with utter certainty, he said shamelessly. "All of that pain is purely the result of a lack in experience and skill haha!"
The Sage went to say more, but I just pulled at my mermaid powers and a rope of solid water grabbed his leg and pulled him deeper into the hot spring and under the scalding hot water.
A moment later I couldn't help but burst into laughter as Jiraiya's massive wild mane of white hair, which he had tied up in a bun to not get it wet, had come undone and now his wild mane had become a soaked sheet of white hair.
"Laugh it up Akari, we will see who is laughing tomorrow in training!" He shouted in amused exasperation and then my laughing became shouts of disgust as he shook his head and hair at extremely high speed with those drops of water coming out at stinging speeds as they hit me.
Then Jiraiya got out of the bath and left me alone with him, saying. "Alright Akari, don't stay in there for too long. I don't want to hear you got heat stroke or something."
So, now alone with just my thoughts. I stared up at the foreign star's above my head as I cradled the hot Oni-Wine bottle to my chest as I floated in the high-temperature hot spring.
'I wonder if one of those stars is the Sol Solar System. Would be funny if I could find this universe's version of Earth.' I mused as I was well aware that Naruto had different demensions and planets with life with how the Otsutsuki clan were world harvesting assholes.
After a long while of relaxation, where I refilled my Oni Gourd with water from the hot spring. As I remembered all too well that the gourd was enchanted to make wine out of a literal pile of corpses that had been smashed into paste, being stuffed into the gourd.
So I wasn't worried about anything from the hot spring's water making it weird.
But as I began drinking a hot sake that the Oni Gourd made from the hot spring water. I blinked dully as I heard a woman call out gently. "Young master, may I bring you the next round of snacks?"
'Did that perv order me some snacks? That's nice of him' I mused to myself before mentally shrugging. "Bring them on in." I called out and seeing as I wasn't sucking down more divine sake my mind began clearing up a bit so I remembered to throw on an illusion to cover up my tails and kitsune ears.
The wood and paper door leading into the onsen's hotel section opened up and I froze in place as I felt chakra wash over my form and then I realized that a constant illusion/genjutsu was being performed and looking at the woman. I saw what the illusion had to be due to my immunity to all illusions and genjutsu.
'Big titty kitsune?' I thought in surprise as I saw the white haired kitsune with five snow white tails behind herself carefully walking into the private back lot with her carrying a platter of assorted snacks.
And I flexed my chakra to clear my mind as much as I could with my face became cold as I asked rather bluntly. "What do you want? A five-tailed kitsune wouldn't be some mere serving girl."
The five-tailed kitsune paused with a deer in the headlights look before she spoke softly. "My apologies... I was sent to watch you by her divine benevolence Inari."
As she invoked the name of Inari, I could smell her domains hit my nose. The smokey scent of a blacksmith, the scent of freshly cut rice, and other things.
My heart tightened and I took a breath before I spoke. "What is your purpose. What is a kitsune who is but one tail from minor divinity, want with me?"
The kitsune bowed her head and spoke in a soft, almost tired tone. "My name is Shinano, I have been sent at the will of Inari to make sure that other divine champions, and incarnations do not... Tempt you away from your homeland and goddess."
"This is because of the death goddess, right?" I asked with a wry sigh.
And the kitsune just nodded, confirming my thoughts.