"So everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my new friend, Kamakura's high very own school beauty, Kido Tomiko!"
I declared while grandiosely showing off Kido, who stood behind me with a flushed and embarrassed expression.
Meanwhile, Issei, Nakai and Lulu were in front of me looking bewildered and not muttering a word.
"Could you, maybe not introduce me in such an embarrassing way next time Naoki?" Kido said as she averted her eyes.
I began scratching the back of my head, "Ah, yeah, my bad. I thought I could break the ice this way."
Kido then let out a brief puff of air, "Good grief…" she added, while crossing her arms.
"N-Naoki?!" Three voices exclaimed in unison.
"Did-did I just mishear or did Tomiko just refer to Naoki on a first name basis?!" Nakai exclaimed.
Guys, c'mon, we already did cliché #12 last chapter.
"Maybe we misheard her?" Issei added.
"No, we definitely heard right," Lulu replied while thinking very seriously. "Still, I really underestimated Kurogawa-kun's lust for woman. To think he's already that close to Tomiko."
Issei began nodding in response, "He's a pervert through and through."
What the fuck guys.
"I'm literally standing here." I replied but they didn't seem to pay me any mind.
While their conversation continued, I turned to Kido who was now burning up. I guess she hadn't realized what calling me by my first name in front of others implied, a rookie mistake by her part.
Well at least it was another adorable sight of her to behold.
"He really is a beast." Nakai continued, "Not only is he targeting Tomiko, but the other day, he was also trying to get close to our classrooms president!"
Wait what?
"How frivolous!" Lulu replied, covering her face with her palms and blushing.
"Degenerate behavior right there." Issei complemented.
This is what I get for trying to be nice.
As Kido had requested, I had taken the first steps to help her make new friends.
Of course I don't really know anyone else right now, so it's a no brainer that I would introduce her to Issei, Nakai and Lulu.
Though, realistically Lulu is the actual friend candidate here. The other two are just extra's I brought to make this encounter less awkward between the introvert Lulu and no social skills Kido.
"N-Naoki," Lulu suddenly tugged my uniform and spoke in a low voice. "I-is this some s-sort of practical joke?" She struggled to say.
"Nope, Tomiko is actually the one who requested to meet you all."
"And she wants to be f-f-friends?!" she asked in disbelief.
"Yep."
Just as before, she gave off the impression of a frail hamster who was ready to have a heart attack at any moment.
"When you told me somebody wanted to be friends with me this isn't what I had in mind at all!" She exclaimed.
"What's the issue? Tomiko wanted to make some friends, and you of all people seem to understand her pretty well."
"That's-"
Man, this girls thoughts are her own worst enemy.
"Alright" I interrupted Lulu with a clap of hands before she made herself even more nervous, "Now let's introduce you guys."
I walked forward preparing to introduce them one by one, of course, beginning with Lulu.
I pushed her from behind, closer to Kido, and began speaking.
"This is… Lulu, and she loves to… do stuff."
"If you're going to introduce me then at least do it properly! Also I keep telling you my name isn't even Lulu!" She said while turning at me with an irritated expression.
"Don't mind the small issues" I replied dismissively.
"Small issues?!" She said looking offended, probably thinking I was indirectly dissing her height.
But before I could say anything else, Kido then began to walk closer.
At her sight, Lulu seemed to freeze up.
"Aren't you… Hasegawa-san from my class?"
"Y-Yes I am!" She replied like a nervous critter. "M-Mashiro Hasegawa! It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"
Oh so that's her name.
Kido smiled softly.
"The pleasure is all mine."
At her response, both Nakai and Issei seemed to cover their eyes as if trying to shield them from the sun.
"Kuh! That smile is blinding!"
You can't be serious, even Lulu wouldn't react that way-
I turned to Lulu, whose soul seemed to have ascended into a higher plane.
Okay, never mind.
I let out a dissimulated cough, which made Lulu snap out of her momentary stun.
"Ah right! I hope we can be good friends from now on Tomiko-san!" She finished off while doing a ninety-degree bow.
Kido seemed slightly flustered at her extreme reaction and looked at me in a panic, as if looking for instructions on what to say.
"This is the part where you say, 'likewise'" I whispered to her.
Kido nodded with a determined look and stepped forward.
She gently grabbed Lulu's hands and looked directly at her.
"Likewise Hasegawa-san, I look forward to being friends with you."
Nice job.
In response, Lulu simply remained staring at Kido with a blank expression.
"Um… Hasegawa-san?" Kido asked, but there was no response.
Ah. She died.
Lulu had basically reached such a state of extreme happiness that it looked like she could turn into dust at any moment and be carried away by the wind. Quite a gag manga moment if I do say so myself.
"Ehem. Carrying on with the introduction, now we have these two."
I continued, while Lulu who was smiling from ear to ear, was moved to the side.
I turned the focus on Nakai and Issei who seemed to be psyching themselves for their introduction.
Nakai was quickly fixing his hair through his phone's camera, making sure there weren't any hair follicles standing in the wrong spot or direction.
As for Issei, he straightened his school tie and uniform, almost like he was about to enter into a formal job interview.
Just watching those two trying to look their best… made a devious smile form in my face.
"Alrighty, first up is the annoying guy on the left," I continued.
They really think I'm going to do a proper job.
"He's an absolute pain in the ass to be around, a total pervert and ends up being useless half of the time, I present my friend Nakai." I said with a cheerful smile.
"Oi."
I ignored Nakai and pointed to Issei.
"Now for the one on the right. He's an absolute pain in the ass to be around, a total pervert, and slightly less dumb than the previous guy. My friend Issei."
The two of them looked bewildered.
"They also both do stuff. Occasionally." I finished off.
"WE DON'T EVEN GET PROPER INTRODUCTIONS?!" Nakai retorted.
"YEAH! AT LEAST USE DIFFERENT ADJECTIVES TO DESCRIBE US!" Issei also complained.
"Don't feel like it." I replied waving my hands away. "Besides I think my introduction pretty much covered everything she needed to know about you guys."
Issei frowned, "How could she possibly know anything about us from that description!"
"Exactly, nothing. The less she knows about you two, the better." I replied with a condescending smile.
"You gatekeeping piece of..." Nakai exclaimed while gritting his teeth and looking at me with murderous eyes but seemed to restrain himself from finishing the sentence at the presence of Tomiko.
"We'll remember this." They declared ominously while staring daggers at me.
"Heh."
Suddenly, Kido began to laugh.
It wasn't loud but rather a soft cackle that slipped out before she could stop it.
And just like that, everyone went quiet and turned to Kido.
She brought a hand up, lightly wiping at the corner of her eye.
"…You all seem like very good friends," she said.
I scratched my cheek, "You're giving us way too much credit."
"I've never seen her laugh before…" Issei muttered under his breath.
Next to him, Nakai was already breaking down.
"S-she's even more beautiful when she laughs…" he said, tears streaming down his face.
Lulu, having just barely recovered from her own happiness-induced coma, nodded with a serious expression and handed him a tissue.
"…I see, you're a man of culture as well."
"Thank you…" Nakai accepted it like a man who had just witnessed something life changing.
What is wrong with these people?
Well, I say that, but I was also smiling.
"By the way" I resumed, directing my gaze to Kido, "did you notice that Hasegawa shares the same name as the bear mascot from that pâtisserie shop near school?"
Kido blinked.
"…Ah, you're right," she said in surprise.
I realized that on my first day of school, the fancy luxury car that had broken down Infront of that pâtisserie shop with those two bear mascots belonged to Kido.
I did some more digging and found out that Kido was a regular in that particular store, it seemed she had quite a sweet tooth.
Though I guess it's a bit expected from an ojou-sama archetype.
"Eh?" Lulu perked up. "You know that brand?"
"I do," Kido nodded. "I go there quite often."
Just as I planned.
Lulu seemed to grow in excitement, "…You do?"
Kido gave a small nod, and just like that, her eyes also lit up.
"…Their seasonal menu is especially nice, and the presentation is-"
"Wait, you've tried the spring set?!" Lulu leaned in.
"Yes, and the limited-"
The conversation between Lulu and Kido began to naturally shift.
Though, at the expense of us three being left out. Not that I particularly minded, even that was something I anticipated.
Nakai observed the two of them with a soft smile for a moment, then turned to look at me.
"…You did a pretty good job," he said. "Finding someone to be her first friend."
I shrugged.
"You think?"
Nakai continued observing with a smile at the two who had entered their own little world.
Suddenly his expression shifted, as if he had a moment of realization.
"…Ah." He said with a brief pause, "I see what you did there."
"…What are you talking about?" Issei asked.
"This guy…" He said while slapping my back, "he introduced us to be extra's."
Tch. This guy catches on too quickly for his own good.
Issei seemed perplexed.
"Extra's?"
A look of betrayal grew on Nakai. "What I mean is that we're just basically here to lower the pressure! Make it easier for Kido to open up with Hasegawa through our idiotic acts! …Meaning this bastard never intended for us to get close to her!"
Issei blinked and turned to me. "…Wait, seriously?"
I simply shrugged once again.
"Yeah," Nakai nodded disappointingly. "We're basically just, support units."
"How deviously cunning…" Issei added.
They're giving me too much credit for a tactic I didn't come up with.
After all, this plan was originally an idea thatguy came up with. Though, I suppose it's too bad I never got to say goodbye to him.
"Tsk. And here I was hoping you wouldn't find out." I replied.
"…Well," he said after a moment, glancing back at Kido who seemed to be enjoying herself, "I can't even be mad."
I followed his gaze.
Kido was still talking with Lulu, her expression brighter than usual.
One friend down, two more to go.
...
"…Why the hell is this place so far away?"
I stared down the empty hallway in front of me
That same day, I found myself in the third-years building, heading to the very end of a corridor, right next to what looked like a janitor's storage closet.
The place seemed very secluded from the rest of the school. No signs of life, nor any indication that any student would willingly come here.
As I reached the very end, I had arrived at my destination.
An old door, next to a worn and slightly crooked wooden plaque, which for some reason gave me a bad feeling.
On it, it read: Tea Ceremony Club.
Is this it?
I wasn't expecting such a… humble location, for a club rooted in deep cultural traditions. But I guess that's the result when a club is in danger of being disbanded.
I checked the paper in my hand again.
Same name
Same room number too.
Guess this is the club…
Every instinct I had was telling me to turn around. Even the door handle felt ominous just by staring at it.
There was also a mysterious suffocating pressure coming from behind that door that added to the dense atmosphere.
Why the hell is there such an intense aura coming from this club…
If it wasn't for the fact that Ms. Aoi was keeping a strict eye on me, I would've definitely walked away from all of this.
After all, it's obvious to anyone that whatever is behind this door is just disaster waiting to happen.
I just hope this turns out to be one of those subversion tropes.
You know the ones I'm talking about, right?
Where we're expecting the worst possible outcome like a wacky classroom president who gets you involved in all type of odd and troublesome situations or opening the door to find that a certain popular guy is actually secretly a girl, and now we gotta keep his secret after seeing him change.
But then the author reveals it's actually a normal club with calm and reasonable people, making all my worries be for nothing.
God, I really hope that's the case.
"…Alright," I muttered. "Here's hoping this one's normal."
I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle.
Maybe it was my nervousness, but it felt like time was moving slower as I grabbed the handle.
I slid open the door.
And immediately regretted it.
"Hah? Who the hell are you?"
I was immediately met with the piercing and threatening voice of a girl who I had seen before.
A girl covered in bandages, with long blazing red hair and a star shaped pin.
The epitome of what we would refer to as a Yankee thug, leaning back on a chair, balancing it on two legs with one foot planted on a table like she owned the place.
But there was onemore person to her right.
She hadn't said anything when I opened the door, but her eyes shifted towards me. A gaze that felt like being pierced by a thousand knives.
A girl with short sleek gray hair, one side slightly shaved, the other falling past her jaw, with faint streaks of green running through it.
From her long, decorated nails to those unusually long, padded socks. It was an unmistakable style.
A gyaru…
She was sitting back, with her arms and legs neatly folded. As if waiting for someone to test her patience.
Hmm…
Hmmm…
Hmmmm…
Yep.
I made up my mind.
"I'm good, actually."
I shut the door quickly.
Turning my head to look back at the plaque that read Tea Ceremony Club.
This is the exact opposite of what I asked for.
Screw this God of Romantic Comedy.