I found myself in front of a being hard to describe; he looked human, but as if some sort of higher power refused to let me see exactly what he looked like.
The surroundings were completely white, with me sitting on a simple chair, that too white, in front of a man or woman — hard to say — but he alone wore black in the entire white horizon, making him the absolute centre of attention.
And then there was this feeling that I had been seen through utterly and thoroughly, inside out by this being.
"Welcome," said the being in a voice which, again, made it impossible to figure out whether I was facing a man or a woman, or perhaps not a human at all.
"I know it's overwhelming, but let's keep it simple. Knowing your history, this situation shouldn't be that unfamiliar to you, isn't it?" said the being, and smiled.
Disregarding the fact that I knew the being was smiling even when I couldn't comprehend his face completely for some reason, I indeed knew what kind of situation this could be.
"Reincarnation."
"Wow... you didn't think you could have been kidnapped? Chunibyo much..." The being giggled; I felt shame wash over me. No matter how many arguments I had regarding the white surroundings and the strange phenomenon going on with this person's face, 'kidnap' would indeed have been the more normal reaction to this situation instead of something like reincarnation.
"Well, you're correct; you're being reincarnated. In fact, you're one of the several million who get this chance. What do you think? Excited!" the being said. There was clear excitement in the being's voice, for certain.
There are more reincarnated beings besides me? One of the few million... then how many actually get reincarnated every day...?
"Not more than ten, I assure you."
That paused me. Was this man reading my mind?
"Is it really that hard to believe that reincarnation is possible but that the being capable of reincarnating you can't read your mind?" He hummed to himself.
Now that I think about it, it really isn't.
"Anyways, while we only get around ten or so reincarnators every day, we still can't spend too much time on a single reincarnator's departure journey, you know. So let us begin with your official reincarnation process."
Out of nowhere, he manifested a sheet of paper and handed it to me like it was my very own death certificate.
Wait!
Death.
How the fuck did I die in the first place? I can't even remember?
"We remove the traumatic events from reincarnators' minds. We find it much easier to process our task while the soul is calm and not distracted," he replied with ease, once again manifesting a pen out of nowhere and handing it over to me.
I took it, of course, but "Are you kidding me? I'm dead. And I can't even recall how? How am I supposed to stay calm at this?"
The being visibly sighed. "You're not the first person to raise that objection. However, I am under no obligation to answer that query if you can't remember how your death came to be by yourself."
"How the fuck am I supposed to remember it if you removed my memories?" I was left speechless.
"We don't remove your memories, I assure you. We only remove any traumatic experiences you might have faced before your death that could lead to any disturbance in the reincarnation process and your psyche. If you can't remember how you died, then the trauma must have been enough that our system deemed it necessary to remove your memories.
We usually don't do this, and when it happens, that means whatever happened to you wasn't pretty."
There was a long silence which stretched to a rather awkward length after that. What possibly could have been so bad that they had to remove my memories of it?
Sounded full of bull to me, but somehow I wasn't much agitated about it. There was definitely some sort of magic or drug involved; I'm way too fucking calm for this kind of situation.
"Now, now… let's let bygones be bygones. Having an attitude that looks forward is the right mindset. Look at the paper I just gave you. If you desire to continue the reincarnation process, then you have to fill that up. You have five minutes. Your time starts now…" He smiled and brought out a countdown clock from somewhere, placed it on the table in front of us, and started the timer.
I was left completely baffled. Wasn't that a little too sharp of a conversation turn? As if my entire life didn't matter more than his five minutes.
The very first line of the paper was about how the paper was just for reference, and how the reincarnating soul shouldn't base any expectations on the answers they gave in the paper.
The end result entirely falls on the reincarnating agent in the end. So, reincarnating souls are advised to provide answers without any alteration, exactly as the reincarnating souls may perceive them.
So, the paper was entirely for reference. If this 'Agent' doesn't like me, then he could even send me to a dogshit world like Warhammer 40K or something.
I couldn't help but gulp at that. Fingers crossed that I didn't anger the being. My eyes went back to the paper, and I saw some generic questions written below.
Which is your favourite piece of fiction? Choose one type and write three favourite works of fiction from that category.
1. What do you like about the chosen fiction? Write three things you like about them.
2. Do you want a system?
3. Would you like to have a harem?
4. Do you want multiversal elements?
And the list went on. It was rather comprehensive regarding what a person would want out of his or her second life after reincarnation.
I shot the supernatural being, who resembled a salesman, a glare before uncapping the pen and furiously writing down my answers before the timer ran out.
I wonder what would happen if I didn't fill this out within the five minutes?
"We will simply take your paper and base the reincarnation experience on what you have written," he replied, catching me completely off guard.
The bastard was still listening to my mind.
He just smiled even wider when I called him names, sending a chill down my spine. Perhaps I shouldn't call the being in charge of sending me to another life a bastard during the reincarnation process.
"Don't worry, I assure you, whatever result you get from your reincarnation plan will be completely unbiased on our side," he happily chipped in.
I just ducked my head further down towards the paper like a student caught cheating by the teacher, and yet had the mercy of not having the sheet snatched out of his hands.
It took me four minutes and twelve seconds to complete the sheet. It was rather simple. After I handed it over, the being went through it before humming to himself.
"Hmm… interesting."
"Favourite fiction — Anime."
"Type — Shonen, like Naruto, Solo Leveling, and Jujutsu Kaisen."
"Is there any trouble with the form?" I asked, wondering what was so interesting about my answer sheet that he was glaring at it like I'd written nuclear codes on it.
"Nothing, it's just rather refreshing to find someone actually crossing out the later questions nowadays…" He smiled as he read.
"Do you want a system — No."
"Do you want a harem — No."
"Do you want multiversal elements — No."
"You crossed them all out. Very quite rare that people do that nowadays. Mind telling me why?"
I paused. Wasn't expecting him to interrogate me about my answers.
"Well… systems are cool, but honestly, it's kinda boring. I have read too many system fanfics that I was completely bored out of my mind."
"True…" The agent nodded. "I personally think they are a bit overused at this point. But it's still refreshing to see someone deny them; they are rather convenient, to say the least. Wouldn't you agree?"
Can't argue with that logic. But the paper said to write what you really feel like, so…
He nodded before I could even say anything, pulling my answer right out of my fucking brain. Was there even a need to write this down if my brain was like an open book for the agent anyways?
"Oh, but there is. You see, this way we could see what kind of person we are dealing with. This is all part of the process," he replied.
'So, it's an open-ended trap. Write something you don't feel, but still write it since it sounds nice, and later on, get caught by the agent. It's to understand the personality of the reincarnating souls.'
"Yes, and you have been doing wonderfully so far…"
"You know, it's kind of unfair if you pull out what I'm thinking right out of my mind just like that," I sighed. At this point, there wasn't any sense of privacy in front of this agent.
"I apologise for that. However, this is one of the best ways to figure out what kind of soul we are dealing with and where we would like to send him or her."
Helpless, I just nodded along.
"Why cross out multiversal elements and even something as popular as a harem?" the agent asked. I could practically feel his eyes seeing through me as I opened my mouth to answer.
"Multiversal ideas are cool, but I don't know. I personally was never that big of a fan of them. And as for harem…" I trailed off.
"Please go on…" He insisted.
I pursed my lips. I mean, the idea of a harem sounds really appealing. But… for a single person like me, even one genuine relationship is enough. I don't want an army of lovers, just one who really loves me for who I am would be more than enough. Or is that just my desperation talking?
"Hmm… I don't think there is anything embarrassing about it. To ask for a genuine relationship, not many but one soul who would accept and cherish you for what you are, that is admirable. If anything, that is even harder than making a harem." The agent smiled, folding the paper as if he was done with it.
I was certain there were a dozen or more questions in there which he hadn't even gone through. Why make me answer those if they were useless?
Surprisingly enough, he didn't answer my mental rambling this time around. Instead, he took out a deck of cards and placed them in front of me.
"Choose a card, please."
I looked at the cards themselves. They were facing backwards, and the cover had "Reincarnation Bureau" written boldly on it.
I took out a card as he asked me to, but before I could rotate it to see what I got, he pushed the card back down onto the table with a single finger.
"No peeking, please."
"Sigh… fine."
He smiled and then took the card to look at it himself.
"Oh… interesting. Okay."
"You may choose another two cards."
I did so.
He analysed them all and finally showed me the cards.
They stated:
World — Jujutsu Kaisen.
Curse Technique — Construction.
Curse Energy Reserves — Yuta Okkotsu level.
My mouth slowly fell open, and then my eyes lit up. That's a good draw. A really good draw. Construction isn't that good, but with Okkotsu's level of curse energy, the efficiency issue shouldn't be a problem. I can literally be the next Yorozu.
Definitely special-grade potential.
"Congratulations, you're going to the Jujutsu Kaisen world. I hope you have a great life there."
I grinned, though part of me wondered if the outcome would have been different if I'd written about a slightly less violent world on the sheet.
"The sheet is only for reference, a way to make the souls sort out what they truly desire. Ultimately, where you will be reincarnated depends on what you truly want. Yes, a world like Titanic would be infinitely safer than a battle shonen. But that's not what you wanted. Even if you desired safety, your desire to live a life in one of those battle shonen manga was just much more prominent than the latter. It's rather common nowadays; it used to be much tamer a little over a hundred years ago." He shrugged his shoulders.
They have been operating for that long? I had no words.
But knowing that the outcome ultimately depended on what I wanted, there was no helping it. I did indeed want superpowers more than a stable nine-to-five life. What can I say? Anime and manga have ruined me.
Just as the agent was about to approve my reincarnation process and send me on my merry way, another deck of cards appeared on his table out of nowhere.
Both of us blinked, and then he literally face-palmed.
"Forgive me, I completely forgot that we are currently pushing a themed reincarnation package. Many of our viewers have been demanding different sorts of themes for our reincarnators' journeys."
"Theme? And wait a minute, what do you mean by viewers?" I was completely lost.
"Oh, come on now. You didn't think we sent souls to different worlds just for fun's sake, did you? We started doing so a few hundred years ago when there was a demand for entertainment among the higher beings who were rather bored with the traditional pastime options they used to have. Think of it like a TV series, if you wish."
I was left completely speechless. So, they are turning my new life into a live show?
Part of the reason why we ask so many questions is to figure out how to initially rate your reincarnation journey for our viewers, besides helping you pick the best world for you, of course." He smiled.
I wasn't sure what kind of response would have been appropriate in this case.
"So, when you say theme, it means…"
"It means that some of our viewers are rather interested in watching certain kinds of reincarnation journeys. For example, there has been a great demand for a highly intelligent spy-themed story. Unfortunately, there haven't been many who are suitable for that category."
I nodded, understanding what he meant, at least to some degree.
"So, I choose a theme card, then?"
"Of course, please go ahead."
I frowned. So far, my deck had all straight-up A's. Nothing outright S-rank like Limitless, Ten Shadows, or Shrine, or Sukuna-level curse energy, well Yuta Okkotsu could already be considered S-level if Sukuna didn't exist or S isn't the highest rank here, but so far, I was very happy with what I got. And now this theme card — why did it feel like a bloody wire trap placed at the very end of the hurdle race just to keep the runners from getting too cocky?
Sighing to myself, I slowly picked up a card at random, but once again, before I could see what I got, the agent took the card from my hand.
He looked at the card and frowned.
"What is it?" I asked, not liking where this was going.
Perhaps seeing me glaring at him with puppy-dog eyes, he smiled back. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. Just a bit unusual. Give me a second."
He snapped his fingers, and a whiteboard materialised beside him. On the board was written…
1. Don't forget to use the new theme cards.
2. The cafeteria has pudding today.
3. Don't let Aqua get near the new stock of divine wine from Soma Familia.
That last point looked a bit suspicious, but not as much as the newest fourth point, which he had just written in front of me.
4. Do the theme card choice before choosing the other cards.
"Hmmmmmmm." I had a bad feeling about it, all right.
With another snap, the board vanished like it had never existed, and he turned back to me.
"Apologies, it's a new system. There is a slight technical processing issue," he said and then quickly looked into a chart that was in front of him.
My eyes fell back to the card I had chosen. He hadn't let me see what was written on it. What kind of theme was it that made him write down that the theme cards had to be chosen before the others?
Before I could take a sneak peek, he turned to me with a bright smile.
"You like, as you wrote in your sheet, cool techniques like Kamui, Limitless, Ten Shadows, Conqueror's Haki, right…"
I blinked. I did, in fact, write that… yes.
"Good."
And once again, he took the answer right out of my brain.
"Then what would you say if I provided you with a cool technique like that for free as an additional power for your journey? Take it as an apology for the slight processing mistake on our side."
"Huh?"
"You don't want it?"
"I do, I do. But… what kind of mistake are we…"
"Great…"
"Then everything is sorted, then." He gave me a big smile, cutting me off.
He took out an official stamp and brought it down on all four cards I had picked. Before I knew it, bright light blinded me, and everything was gone.
And as I was gone, the agent sighed to himself.
"Hope you have a great new life…" He waved his hands in a standard celebratory gesture. But as the light finally lifted, even his eyes went back to the fourth card currently lying on the table with a perfect stamp on it.
"…Why is this card not categorised correctly if it's going to change the story itself from the beginning and its execution?" He complained to himself.
The card stated… "Dual Reincarnation."