I woke up to my phone buzzing.
My eyes felt heavy. My head hurt. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to open my eyes. I just wanted to stay under my blanket forever.
The phone buzzed again.
I reached for it slowly. The screen was bright. I squinted.
Aiden: "You up?"
I stared at the message for a long moment. Then I typed back.
"No."
Aiden: "Then why are you texting me?"
I almost smiled. Almost.
"Because you woke me up."
Aiden: "Sorry. Go back to sleep."
"I can't. My head is too loud."
He didn't reply immediately. I watched the three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.
Aiden: "What's wrong?"
I didn't know how to answer that. So I just typed.
"Everything."
Aiden: "Can I help?"
"I don't think so."
Aiden: "Let me try."
I put my phone down and stared at the ceiling. The house was quiet. My parents had left early. Betty's door was still closed. I could hear the wind outside.
I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to do anything.
My phone buzzed again.
Aiden: "I'm not going to force you. But if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."
I read it three times. Then I typed.
"Thanks."
He didn't reply. I put my phone down and closed my eyes.
I don't know how much time passed. Maybe an hour. Maybe two.
Then I heard a knock on my window.
I sat up slowly. My room was on the second floor. No one should be knocking on my window.
I walked over and pulled the curtain back.
Cade.
He was standing outside my window, standing on the ledge of the balcony. He had a bag of chips in one hand and a bottle of soda in the other. He looked ridiculous.
I opened the window. "Are you insane?!"
He grinned. "You weren't answering your texts. So I came to check on you."
I stared at him. "How did you even get up here?"
"There's a drain pipe. I've done it before."
"You've done it before?!"
"Don't worry. I'm careful."
I shook my head. But I was smiling. A real smile.
He climbed through the window and landed in my room. He looked around at my books and posters. Then he looked at me.
"You look like crap," he said.
"Thanks."
"I mean it in a loving way."
I sat on my bed. "What are you doing here?"
He sat down next to me. "I told you. I was worried."
I looked at him. He wasn't joking. His dark eyes were soft.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," I said. "I just... I don't want to do anything."
"That's okay."
"No, it's not. I have things to do. I have cheer practice. I have the tournament. I have my project. But I just... I can't."
He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "You don't have to do any of that today."
"I do."
"No, you don't. You can just lie here and eat chips."
He held up the bag. I laughed. A real laugh.
"Fine," I said. "But only because you climbed a drain pipe for me."
He grinned. "That's all I needed to hear."
We sat there for a while, eating chips and not talking. It was comfortable. His shoulder was warm against mine.
Then my phone buzzed.
Aiden: "I'm outside."
I blinked.
"Outside where?"
Aiden: "Your house. I saw a guy climb through your window. I'm not sure if I should be worried or jealous."
My eyes widened. I looked at Cade.
"What?" he said.
"Aiden is outside."
Cade's expression didn't change. "So?"
"So he saw you climb through my window."
Cade shrugged. "Good. Now he knows I got here first."
I rolled my eyes. I walked to the window and looked down. Aiden was standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets. He looked up and our eyes met.
I opened the window. "What are you doing here?"
"Checking on you," he said. "You said your head was loud."
I felt something in my chest. Something warm.
"I'm fine," I said.
"No, you're not. But that's okay."
He didn't say anything else. He just stood there.
Cade came up behind me. "You want me to go?"
I looked at him. Then I looked down at Aiden.
"No," I said. "Stay."
I pulled on a hoodie and went downstairs. I opened the front door. Aiden was still standing there.
"Come in," I said.
He walked in. Cade was standing in the hallway.
They looked at each other. For a moment, I thought they might fight. But then Aiden nodded. Cade nodded back.
It wasn't friendly. But it wasn't hostile either. They had been practicing together every day for the upcoming tournament. They were learning to tolerate each other. Maybe even respect each other a little. Enough to be in the same room without trying to destroy each other. might I add that, I didn't look good either, so they were both probably trying their best to stay reasonable.
They both walked into my room and sat down. Aiden took the chair by my desk. Cade sat on the floor with his back against my bed. It was like they had silently agreed on their spots without saying a word.
I sat on my bed, looking at both of them.
Aiden spoke first. "What happened?"
I told them almost everything, because I couldn't open up entirely, I kept the issue of Betty to myself and talked about the contract. My parents. The house. Every other thing.
When I was done, no one said anything.
Then Cade put his hand on my knee. "You're not alone, okay?"
Aiden looked at me. "He's right."
I looked at both of them. Two guys who couldn't stand each other a few weeks ago. Now here they were, sitting in my room, showing up for me.
For the first time in days, I really did fell like I could breathe.
***
Cade left first. He hugged me before he left. A tight hug that lasted longer than it should have.
Aiden stayed.
"You should eat something," he said.
"I'm not hungry."
"You still need to eat."
I looked at him. "Why do you care?"
He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "Because you showed up for me. Even when I didn't deserve it."
I didn't know what to say.
He stood up. "I'll bring you food tomorrow."
"That's not necessary."
"I know. But I'm going to anyway."
He walked to the door. Then he stopped and looked back.
"Kathy?"
"Yeah?"
"You're not alone."
He walked out.
I sat there for a long time, feeling something I hadn't felt in a while.
Wanted.
and it was real.