We were practicing football by dividing into teams, and Joshua was on the opposite team. In the beginning, the game was going fine; both teams had scored three each. At this point, the game turned intense; it was just a practice match but winning mattered for both teams. The ball was passed on to me. I was about to hit the goal when someone tripped me. I fell, and my leg hurt like a bitch. I started groaning in pain. The team, including the coach, ran toward me.
Joshua, by clearing the crowd, approached me. He sat beside me and spoke. "Hey, are you ok?" There was so much concern in his voice: "It hurts like hell." He chuckled at my whining. "Don't be a baby; you just tripped." He didn't just say that. "Thank you so much for your bloody consoling words." In return, I heard a chuckle, but panic was evident on his face; he was trying to divert my mind.
Our coach approached, checked my leg, and spoke, "Joshua, can you take him to the medical room? I bet you won't allow anyone else to take him for sure." That sentence made me gulp. Joshua was making his intentions towards me so blunt, like sealing a deal: "Of course, I will take him." He then spoke to me, "Hands on my shoulder; I can manage your weight; don't worry." I just nodded my head in response, "Come on." With that, he was holding me tightly. That hold was making me forget about the pain, and my feelings started to grow wings. This touch was giving me weird thoughts, and sooner or later, these feelings will start to kill me.
My leg was sprained and needed a few days of rest. Nothing was severe, but I still needed to take a break from practice, as per the doctor's advice. "I will drop you to your home." "No, it's ok, I can manage." "Why manage when I am here? Later, you need to manage without me. After a few hours, your leg will hurt like a real bitch; leave your car here tomorrow; I will pick you up," and the topic was closed. There was no room for any argument. Why the hell do couples fight like maniacs as they want to rip each other off, and here I am hardly responding to him, and an argument was the least thing? Did I just give a label for our relationship?
After bidding goodbye to our friends, we made our way towards Joshua's car. He helped me hop in, and once I shared my location, he started to drive.
In the middle, he stopped near the restaurant. Both were feeling hungry. He made me to sit in the car, which I protested by saying I could walk. I am not bloody fragile, and finally he gave in, and we were seated in the restaurant.
Soon, the waiter approached and took our orders. After placing the order, we were silent.
I wanted to ask so many things. How could anyone be so blunt in expressing something? The person sitting in front of me was too much to ignore. Now why the hell was my mouth sealed? His stare was making it even harder.
"Hey, are you really okay? We can consult another doctor." Again, this was so foreign—his caring, too much happening, not leaving me any room to conclude anything. His worried face made me open my mouth just to give him relief. "No, no, I am fine. Just a sprain; I took painkillers, so it's going to be ok." His face was still frowning. "Then why that face, like you are worried or something?" I couldn't help but chuckle. By the time our order arrived, in silence, we started having the same, and he was making sure I was having everything that was served on my plate.
After finishing the food, we drove toward my home. I had not experienced this much attention from anyone; it was a very long time ago, and I never gave anyone a chance to experience anything. I only concentrated on pleasing duties, nothing more or less.
The weather was cold. I was facing the window. The cold air was hitting my face. A warm touch made me pause my unraveling thoughts. Joshua took my hand in his and locked it; his index finger was soothing. I didn't turn my face from the window or pull out my hand; I was falling slowly.
Day by day, we were getting closer without my knowledge. I started expecting his presence everywhere. I would wait, or he would wait only for each other. My friends would always be around.
We were having lunch at our usual spot, and when Joshua spoke, "Gray, are you dating anyone?" Everyone stopped what they were doing, including me, talking about bluntness and when the hell this guy would express less, not to forget in front of everyone. This question should be asked, like, in private or at least via text, by giving a break for so-called flirting with me. Doesn't he think before sprouting something? Can't he at least think of me?
William burst into laughter, joined by everyone. "Is he dating? He is not that lucky for at least another few years. His dad is making sure he is on the right track by enrolling him in so many bullshit things. Oh, not to forget, he is a bloody virgin till now. I bet he has not dated anyone, so no, he is bloody single, and we have slight hope that may change in the near future, but why do you ask?" Joshua gave him one look, which was pretty much a glare, which made him shut his mouth at that second.
Once again, Joshua turned towards me. "Gray, answer me." I had not taken my eyes off the plate. I could feel his gaze on me, expecting some reply. This was going to be the most awkward moment of my life. I bet that, in the future, nothing is going to beat this one. I was not getting something; there was silence. Was it only on this table or in the whole cafeteria? My mind was so blank that I was not able to make it out. Without my answer, he was not going to back out. In a few days of friendship, I got to know what a stubborn bastard he was. Finally, I turned my gaze toward him and spoke, "No, I am not."
Immediately, there was a sign of relief on his face. I turned my gaze to the plate. I was not consuming food. My appetite had long died. I wanted to get the hell out of here. Still, silence was playing. This time, I could confirm that the whole cafeteria was silent. How the hell can a discussion going on at one table affect the whole cafeteria? How the hell can this conversation reach every table? Ears do work sharply at moment like this. Bloody gossip has the power to stimulate anything.
Joshua, "Good, I'm damn happy after hearing your answer, Gray. I want to date you; are you interested in dating me? Just like that, he confessed in front of the whole cafeteria, which was plain and, of course, blunt, with no hesitation and confidence, fully aware of what he wanted. I didn't dare to take my eyes from the plate to anywhere else; for sure, everyone was dumbfounded by his confession. How can anyone expect something like this? Not to forget that he was transferred only a few months ago; this was too much intake.
Joshua was expecting some answer, either one, but I was not able to, and the sole reason was my father; he hardly accepted my sexuality and never forgot to taunt or degrade me by bringing it up. Dating a guy was a fucking red flag to him, and he was never going to tolerate it at that level. How the hell was I going to explain this to Joshua?
After a few minutes of silence, Joshua spoke, "Gray, there is no need for an immediate answer; I can wait; I will be ok with either of your answers; if it's 'yes,' I am going to be the happiest person, and I will cherish you forever; if your answer is 'no,' then I am going to take a break of a few days and come up with the same question; I am not going to force you, and I am also not going to give up; I will get a 'yes' from your end; I will make sure of it; be prepared, baby."
That word made me face him: 'Baby.' God, by any chance, did I just reciprocate somehow? His confidence level was too high. How can he be so confident? I didn't even open my mouth. Joshua was chuckling, seeing my face, which was in shock at hearing the mere word, "Finish your lunch. We need to sustain another half day, and not to forget, I need to prepare myself to impress someone." That earned me a smile.
Our table was back to normal, and other table too, we sucked up soon.
Murphy, "Don't you think it's gross or something? These cheesy words you guys are not even a couple. Didn't anyone tell you confession should be done in private, or at least with a group of friends, not so openly?"
Joshua: "Well, I don't want to wait anymore. What difference does it make? I wanted to confess. I just did that. Please suck it up for other things too, in the upcoming days."
Jack: "Your confidence level, goodness, I bet Gray is still in shock; he has not even opened his mouth till now and has completely muted himself."
Joshua: "Come on, it didn't come up by sudden surprise or anything; I was blunt about my feelings from the beginning. Gray, if you are still in shock, I am really sorry, but I am this way; I want you, and as I said, I am not going to give up; I rest my case."
There was no room for adding anything further; he summed it up, which only further added to my shock.
The rest of the meal was quiet. We exited the cafeteria and made our way towards class. I couldn't help but smile, remembering what just happened. These butterflies were more a warm feeling of someone being by my side always, giddiness, and my heart going to explode anytime. I have not accepted his proposal yet, nor have I denied it. I didn't know what I was going to do. I don't want to think so much. I want to go with the flow, and most importantly, I want to take a break from what if.