Born billions of years ago, Xuan Mie Tianzun had begun his journey in the world of cultivation. At that time, he was a nobody whom many would call trash, but he received his first ancestral inheritance from the Emperor of Destruction. From that moment onward, his life changed.
He cultivated and cultivated. At every step, he had to face countless enemies. Sometimes he won easily, other times he was on the verge of death, but the heavens always helped him overcome his hardships.
Years passed, centuries, millennia, and his power grew and grew. His opponents went from cultivators to immortals and gods, then to conceptual entities and beings from higher dimensions, and finally, he shattered the barrier of his own world to reach the "outer" plane.
From that moment on, he had surpassed everyone and everything. Even the heavens themselves bowed before him.
So why was the insignificant mortal before him still speaking to him as if he were some senile old man?!
This could not be allowed!
This could not be forgiven!
Xuan Mie Tianzun began releasing his true power.
In an instant, every star in the universe went dark except for the sun.
In an instant, all past and future were frozen.
In a brief period, laws, concepts, and cause and effect themselves bent before him.
At that moment, everyone watched as a thin sword of ancient metal appeared from nothingness.
"Tun Tian Jue Mie Jian (Heaven Devourer - Sword of Absolute End)," said the old man with abyss-like eyes.
"..." Allen remained silent as he observed the old man.
"Insignificant mortal ant! You dare rise before me?! I am Xuan Mie Tianzun, the Eternal Annihilator, Supreme Patriarch of Absolute Extinction!"
The old man pointed his sword at Allen.
"My sword, Heaven Devourer, was forged within the core of the Primordial Volcano of the Nine Revelations of Chaos, where the flames of the end of all universes burned!"
"...?"
"This sword has slain one hundred and thirteen True Gods in a single strike! It has sliced apart the laws of destiny across three separate dimensions! And it has drunk the blood of countless Primordial Ancestors of Chaos!"
"It split twelve extra-dimensional beings in half! It did not merely erase them from existence—it stole their power!"
As the old man gave his speech, Allen tilted his head.
'System, what is this old man even saying?'
[Who knows? Out of nowhere, he started speaking some kind of ancient Chinese mixed with several unknown languages. Though it seems like he wants to fight or something.]
'Hey, doesn't it make you look bad as a system if you can't even translate some senile old man? I suspect he's a cultivator, but he could also just be a crazy old guy or something.'
[No, that man is... never mind.]
Seeing that Allen wasn't paying attention, the old man shouted even louder as his power not only shook the universe, but spread throughout the entire Marvel multiverse.
"My sword, with a single strike, can grant Absolute Death! Not even concepts of death, gods of death, or conceptual death entities can withstand the death of my sword! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
"My sword not only destroys body and soul, but erases your existence from all cycles of reincarnation—past, present, and future! BASTARD, STOP IGNORING ME!"
"My sword scorns all forms of power and feeds upon nothingness and the absolute!"
"Kneel, tremble, and be grateful that I allow you to speak my name before erasing you from all existence, futures, and realities!"
"Hey old man, you'd better stop. You're going to hurt yourself," Allen warned, genuinely pitying him. Dementia was a cruel illness with no cure that caused elderly people to suffer greatly.
"AHHHHHHHH!"
The old man attacked Allen in a fit of madness and rage.
His strength and speed surpassed light, time, reality—everything!
And so, with his absolute power, he struck Allen's shoulder.
Crack
A smile appeared on the old man's face.
But it did not last even a millionth of a second when he saw his sword shatter in half upon touching Allen's shoulder.
"Huh?"
A strand of snot dripped from the old man's nose as he watched the blade fall while a faint scream echoed—it was the spirit of his sword dying.
The old man remained silent, staring at the remaining half of his sword.
"Are you okay?" Allen watched as the old man turned pale and seemed to age ten thousand years in an instant.
Receiving no response, Allen approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't worry. I'll take you to one of Emma's charity asylums. They'll make sure you receive the care you need. You don't have to be ashamed of being a 'normal' old man with dementia. We all wish we could be someone incredible in life. Me included."
The old man returned to reality.
And for the first time in billions of years... he felt fear.
He had forgotten what that was, but once more, he felt it from his feet to his head, from his soul to his heart.
It was fear.
His first instinct was to run.
To flee.
But he immediately realized something even more horrifying.
His power had disappeared!
'Why?! What happened?!'
The old man tried to speak, but his dentures fell out.
Seeing this, his face turned blue.
At this moment, he truly looked like a decrepit old man.
"Officers, can you take this elderly man to the Frost asylum?"
As if a spell had been broken, the trance ended and everything returned to normal, including the stars and the past and future.
The officers looked at one another before walking toward the old man, who could barely remain standing, and escorted him away.
"I guess even in this world, I still have a bit of hero left in me. I don't even feel like charging Fury for dealing with a crazy old man."
[...]
The battle ended without Allen ever realizing who he had been facing.
From beginning to end, Allen continued believing the old man was simply a senile elder with some mutant power or perhaps some strange mountain cultivator.
Allen returned to Felicia and continued his date, unaware that the Evil Infant had witnessed everything and was now panicking, hiding in her closet while swearing never to provoke him again.
She also had the option of leaving if she wanted to.
But strangely enough, that thought never crossed her mind.
....
(The Next Day)
This time, Allen did not wake up in his apartment, nor in a house on the outskirts of New York, nor in his room at the X-Mansion, nor even in that unnecessarily enormous room Tony had prepared for him at Avengers Tower.
No.
Today, Allen opened his eyes at the top of the largest building in the world.
In other words, that unnecessarily extravagant and massive building Emma Frost had built as a symbol of love for him.
There, where the most expensive penthouse in all of New York was located.
Once again, made with love... and tons of money... for Allen.
"What time is it?" Allen asked quietly.
[It's ten o'clock.]
"I see."
It had been an intense night with Emma and an unexpected guest who was also sleeping beside him.
"I'm not a fan of this place, but the bed is absurdly comfortable," Allen sighed. "Though this place is suffocating..."
Emma knew Allen didn't particularly like this building because even if Allen didn't hate luxury, this place was simply excessive.
That was why this penthouse was more of a place where the two of them could meet... and, well, work on their relationship, which had gradually evolved from Emma's one-sided interest into something more mutual.
The golden sheets, silk comforter, antique wooden furniture, marble floors, and walls decorated with paintings from artists he couldn't even name—all of it was secondary.
No matter how beautiful material things were, the only things he truly cared about and valued were the two women beside him.
To his right was Emma Frost, the voluptuous blonde with blue eyes who also happened to be the richest woman in the world.
This powerful beauty snuggled against his arm with a smile on her face.
To his left was another beautiful woman—Megan.
This girl had either the best or the worst luck of all.
Allen had met her at a party when she was a young actress just beginning her career.
It hadn't been planned, but a bit of alcohol had brought them together.
That connection had slowly strengthened, and now he considered her at least one of his girlfriends.
Both beauties had surrendered to pleasure and had fallen completely exhausted after an entire night.
"Hm~" Emma seemed to sense that Allen had awakened, so she clung to him more tightly as though fearing he would leave.
Megan slept like a rock.
The beautiful girl was famous, but outside of cameras, she was an ordinary woman, so even being with Allen was enough to nearly make her faint.
"They won't wake up anytime soon." Allen smiled and gave them both a kiss before standing up, leaving a pillow behind as his replacement.
Allen walked toward the closet and grabbed a black robe Emma had prepared for him. There was plenty of clothing there.
"Emma said all the clothes here were specially designed for me... It's sweet, but I feel bad for the poor tailors who made them under the pressure of knowing that making Emma angry was basically a death sentence," Allen laughed.
"Good morning, Master."
2B appeared behind Allen with a cup of coffee. His android maid was always attentive whenever he woke up to serve him.
Allen made the coffee float with a spell and grabbed 2B by the waist, pulling her into his arms.
The silver-haired girl blushed, but she did not stop her master from doing as he pleased. After all, she had given herself to him body and soul long ago.
Allen removed her visor, revealing her beautiful blue eyes, then proceeded to kiss her.
2B responded enthusiastically as she wrapped her arms around Allen's shoulders. On her ring finger gleamed a beautiful ring she never took off.
Allen's hands began removing her maid uniform.
"Master❤️~"
As an android, nothing fulfilled her more than serving her master, and as a woman, she longed to become one with the man she loved.
Knock Knock
The aggressive knocking on the door interrupted the couple.
But before becoming annoyed, Allen found it strange.
This was Emma's penthouse. No one would be foolish enough to come bother them knowing they were together.
"I'll be right back."
Allen gave 2B a kiss and a playful smack before walking to the door.
When he opened it, Allen saw two men standing there dressed in suits and dark sunglasses.
"Mr. Walker, I am Agent K, and this is Agent J."
Allen cursed.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"
The MIB was an ultra-secret agency responsible for the regulation, surveillance, and control of aliens on Earth. Its agents had no identities, names, or pasts. They left everything behind to become part of the MIB, so their identities were based solely on letters.
Allen observed the two men before him before shaking his head.
"I guess there won't be a sequel to I Am Legend anymore."
The actors who portrayed Agents K and J were Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, but now that they existed as actual MIB agents, their identities as actors had disappeared.
"Wow, not only that, they look younger too. I guess reality alteration suits you."
K and J exchanged glances.
While J looked nervous and clearly wished to be anywhere else, K remained impassive.
"Mr. Walker, I regret having to do this, but you are under arrest for the unauthorized use of a Neuralyzer and impersonating an MIB agent. We would like you to come with us."
J's mouth dropped open like a fish upon hearing what K said and he immediately began apologizing.
"K, you didn't tell me we were coming to arrest the damn Allen Walker!"
J raised his hand awkwardly.
"Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Allen smiled.
"If I had, you wouldn't have wanted to come."
"Of course not! I'm not insane!"
Allen laughed before placing a hand on K's shoulder.
"First of all, I have to congratulate you. That takes a sack the size of ostrich eggs, and just for that, I'll go. That, and because I'm curious."
J nearly choked but also sighed in relief that Allen wasn't offended.
Allen raised his voice.
"Emma, I'm going to get arrested for a while. I'll be back this afternoon!"
"You're going to WHAT?!"
Inside the room, Emma—who had barely woken up—shot upright upon hearing Allen's words.
She rushed out of the room in her robe, but it was already too late.
Allen was gone.
Filled with fury, Emma immediately began making calls.
At that moment, she was fully capable of threatening the president with crashing the economy if Allen wasn't released.
Unfortunately, the MIB operated independently from normal government organizations, and even the president couldn't do much immediately.
....
A few hours later, MIB Headquarters, New York.
Allen sat in an interrogation room.
It was white and lacked the stereotypical hanging lamp police used for psychological games.
They didn't need that.
If they truly wanted information, all it took was one flash from the Neuralyzer, and you'd sing like a canary.
Of course, there were people whose memories couldn't be easily liquefied, either because of their status or because, like Allen, the Neuralyzer had no effect.
"Honestly, I still can't believe I'm here," Allen said while leaning on the table.
Somehow, this agency now existed within Marvel's New York.
Of course, the Marvel universe already had many alien races, but with the addition of Star Wars and Men in Black, that number had tripled.
On the way to this interrogation room, Allen had seen numerous aliens of all kinds lined up either to enter the planet or leave it.
The MIB was basically an intergalactic airport.
Kurumi appeared sitting arrogantly on the table with her legs crossed.
"Aren't you going to stream this?" she asked while raising her boot closer to Allen's face.
Since Allen did not have masochistic tastes, he didn't let her touch him.
However, he reached out and squeezed Kurumi's calf.
"Kya!"
The girl instantly disappeared, leaving Allen amused.
"Well, I'd like to, but it could put the lives of MIB agents at risk." Allen narrowed his eyes. "Though I do wonder just how canon the MIB will be..."
....
Z was in his office when he received a call.
It was from the president.
Highly unusual, since normally SHIELD would be contacted before the MIB.
"Yes, Mr. President."
"Sorry, Mr. President... I couldn't hear you well because of your yelling..."
"We did WHAT?!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. President. I wasn't aware."
"Yes, I'll handle it immediately."
Z hung up the phone, his face pale.
He had seen every kind of crisis in his life.
He had been present for numerous conflicts that could have endangered all of humanity.
And yet, just when he thought he had seen, heard, and lived through it all...
The president called to inform him that K—one of his best agents—had arrested Allen Walker.
"K! J! GET TO MY OFFICE NOW!"
The shout made everyone tremble.
But no one was surprised.
From the moment they saw K and J walk in with Allen, they had already been on the verge of panic.
....
"We truly apologize, Mr. Walker," Z said while sweating nervously.
Allen chuckled.
"Don't worry about it. I actually came because I was interested in the MIB. It felt like a good opportunity to see your facilities. Besides, K didn't do anything wrong. I indeed own a Neuralyzer, and being tricked by a dog who falsely accused me of impersonating an MIB agent could happen to anyone, right?"
K, standing behind Z, felt as though he had been slapped.
Apparently, Frank had been in trouble with the MIB, and when they came for him, he claimed Allen Walker was impersonating an MIB agent.
Any other agent would have ignored that accusation as though they'd heard a curse.
But K, being K, took his recruit and went straight to Allen's house.
There, MJ—thoroughly entertained by the situation—told them where Allen was, and they went there.
'MJ, I'm going to punish you for that...'
MJ, who was shopping downtown with Rei, suddenly felt a chill run down her spine.
"Mr. Walker, you are very kind... Is there anything we can do to compensate you? Of course, there's no need to mention the Neuralyzer issue. It is yours, after all."
Allen crossed his arms while looking at J and K.
"Actually..."
====
A/N: Actually, in the original draft of the chapter, the old man went on and on about his sword for almost half the chapter, but I thought it was a bit much 🍷🗿
PS: Even though it ended up being a joke, the old man was truly powerful; his sword could split a entire multiverse.
If you want to read more, there are up to ten chapters ahead on Patreon.
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