"I need to be alone."
But I didn't move.
"I'm not leaving you."
She was now a person I had to take responsibility for, as she wouldn't be in her right state of mind after what I had done. And I had to know that, so I stayed and observed.
She turned around, her eyes flashing.
"You don't get to decide that. You're my bodyguard, not my... my warden."
She was persistent, and I had no right not to listen after what I had done. But I just wanted to be around her—to make sure she did nothing dangerous. She was like a candle in the dark. The longer it swayed in the darkness, the quicker it burned.
And I wanted to stay near that candle to protect it from the darkness that lay beneath her world of light.
Today, all I have done is be around her. She had come to terms with what had happened, but instead of going out, she just lay there in the open bed.
It was also the day I had to go back to school, so I had to ask what we should do. I needed to ask what she wanted to do. Abortion or keep it. It was up to her. I had no choice in this situation. Although I wanted to keep them, if she wanted to have an abortion, I had no right to say no.
I had sat in the armchair by the window, gazing out of it, watching cars pass by one by one. There was also a bed in this room—Hoshino Ai's room. I knew she wasn't asleep. I had always known that. I had given her time to adjust to me being around and to what would happen later.
I knew I had to ask what we should do, but I had to speak about the important aspect first. It was simple and blunt.
"I have to go to school today."
My words were simple and blunt, flat as ever. But still, nothing. Her back was against the wall.
Even so, I had to continue. This was important to ask. This one question decided my next ten years—what I should and shouldn't do in this time.
"There's... something I need to ask you. The pregnancy—what would you like to do?"
Her fingers tightened on the bedsheets as I asked the question. But I had to continue voicing my thoughts since all she gave me was utter silence.
"What would you like to do? Abortion or keeping them? It's your choice. Just know that whatever you decide, I will respect it."
The silence stretched out long—so long that I had started counting the minutes.
But then she started to move. She moved slowly, like a marionette with tangled strings attached, almost exactly like a puppet. The sheets pooled around her waist.
She stared at the wall opposite, at the abstract painting that probably cost more than most people could even make in a year.
She looked young—too young for any of this.
"You want me to choose? Are you okay with that?"
Her voice was hollow, quiet like a whisper. But I had made sure I could hear her, even amidst this situation.
I didn't answer. I wanted to, but I had to respect her decision. Whatever she decided, I would respect.
She turned to face me, and I saw her fully for the first time since we had arrived at the apartment. She faced me not with makeup on her face; the shadows under her eyes were deeper than before.
Her face was bare with no makeup. There wasn't a mask. It was just Ai—the person in front of me, the one many didn't see or know.
"The doctors would question me, ask questions I couldn't answer, and the agency would find out. Hoshino Ai, the perfect idol caught up in a scandal—they'd tear me apart to find out who the father is."
She had listed each and every situation and complication I would have to deal with—complications from the agency, the one that had poured hundreds of millions into her.
Her voice was steady and soft, but her hand was shaking.
"So... that's your answer? You don't want to keep them?"
She looked at me as soon as I said that. Her eyes locked onto mine for a while. She was really looking.
"I didn't say that."
"You listed reasons for an abortion, but no reasons not to do it."
"You should know that I am an idol. My body is a brand, and pregnancy ruins that. A child ruins that. The timing alone—"
She stopped and pressed her lips together. When she spoke again, her voice was quieter than before.
"Do you know how many people's livelihoods rely on me? The staff, producers, and writers. My face sells tickets. My face pays their rent."
"And they are just a part of the agency. Without you, they will just find another. There are plenty of others that could fill in their rent."
Her eyes widened at my words. There was also something else in her eyes—she was surprised at the simplicity of my words.
"Y-You think it's that easy? That they will eventually find someone else? You don't know anything about my life."
She was right. I had no right to decide anything about her way of life, nor did I know her to that extent.
"When I was twelve, I wanted to quit. I told my manager that. I was tired and lonely. I didn't think anyone would notice if I disappeared. But when I said that to her, she showed me the amount of money I was making—the merchandise, the concert tickets, the advertising contracts. Then she asked me how many people I would make unemployed."
"So I stayed."
She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. The gesture made her look even smaller than she was.
"But... I also want something that's mine."
She touched her stomach, a light press of her fingers against the shirt.
"But if I do this, I need you to at least be there. I need someone to rely on, someone who doesn't disappear when it gets hard. Could you do that?"
"I won't disappear, and if you don't believe that, I will prove it day by day."
She stared at my face, studying it, looking for a lie—maybe a crack or an easy way out. But I had none on my face.
She looked down at her hands, then at her stomach, then back at me.
"I'm keeping them."
"Okay."
I was honestly happy, and also scared of what was going to happen in the future. But I could at least protect this place—my new home, and my new family.
Hours passed.
Hoshino Ai, my girlfriend, was lying on the bed, snuggling up to me. There she lay right next to me, her head on my chest, using it as a pillow.
She lay there asleep, her face peaceful, her breathing even. Her skin was flawless and fair.
[Ding]
["You Have Completed the quest of making Hoshino Ai fall in love with you."]
[You have gained The Ticket Upgrade of A Skill of Choice.]
[You have gained: Sun Breathing.]
[You have gained: Affinity of Fire]
[You have gained: Severed Universe]
[Your understanding of Time has increased.]
[Your understanding of Fire has increased]
[Your understanding of breathing has increased]
[Ding]
["You only have 3 skills, which one would you like to upgrade...?"
[Orc Physique — First Awakening]
[Cursed Technique Shrine.]
[Severed Universe]
I was reading this materialized blue screen in front of me. It was listing all that I had gained, but my question was: what would happen once I upgraded the Orc Physique? Would I go towards the body path of an orc, or would it incur an evolution into what?
Orcs were an unknown race in this world. There were no orcs here. So I had no idea what would happen. But I had decided anyway.
It provided a lot of bonuses, and I needed to get more of them. Shrine was an ability that, if I gained more understanding of, could be upgraded without a skill ticket. Severed Universe was unknown to me, so I didn't want to go with an ability I didn't know about right now.
It also provided me with an aura. It acted like mana, but it wasn't. So I went with that.
[Orc Physique — First Awakening]
[Ding]
[You have upgraded [Orc Physique]. Please choose what you would like to become.]
[This will decide your future evolution path.]
Ogre.
Otherwise known as ｢"Large Oni Tribe,"｣ they are a race of Demi-humans descended from fairies. They are a high-class race, but few in numbers.
Averaging at B rank.
High Orc.
High orcs, ｢"boar people tribe,"｣ are an evolved form of orcs. High orcs are known for their greater intelligence and longer lifespan of 50 to 70 years.
Averaging at rank C.
Note: after evolution, you will gain access to more skills regarding the type of evolution you take.
So I made up my mind.
In this moment, I would choose that.