Chapter 509 Uncle Master, I beg you to be a human being
Lu Chengwen was in the midst of exploring life with Xu Xuejiao.
Xu Xuejiao sat on Lu Chengwen, rising and falling intensely. Suddenly Hua Xueying drilled in: "Master, stop for a moment!"
Xu Xuejiao hugged Lu Chengwen, turned her head: "What?"
Xu Xuejiao said: "Your Shishu is here!"
Xu Xuejiao looked at Lu Chengwen: "Why is he here?"
"Don't know, let him wait."
Hua Xueying said: "He said he stole the Tianmen Dan for you!"
Lu Chengwen put down Xu Xuejiao. Xu Xuejiao pulled over the blanket to cover herself, lay prone on the bed, and said delicately: "Your Majesty return early, your concubine awaits you here."
Lu Chengwen looked at her: "Should really take a picture of you like this for your father to see."
"Heehee, you are my mighty daddy, muah!"
Lu Chengwen shivered, got dressed, and looked at Hua Xueying.
Hua Xueying blushed, already engrossed in watching.
"Still looking?"
Hua Xueying snapped back, her face even redder: "Who's looking!? I was... learning."
...
Arriving in the living room, Lu Chengwen laughed heartily: "Shishu ah, aiya, how come you're so free?"
Ming Disha threw a bottle over: "Catch."
Lu Chengwen caught it: "Just... if you had done this earlier, wouldn't it have saved me a trip?"
"You need to gain experience, fight more with people. That surnamed Long, and that surnamed Zhao, are both very formidable. If you don't improve, sooner or later they'll catch up to you."
"They are already far ahead of me."
"So! You need to hurry! Have a sense of crisis, a sense of urgency."
Lu Chengwen looked at him: "What have you done now?"
"Haha! Wait until you reach peak Shangsimen then take the Tianmen Dan. Right now, you need a new cauldron!"
"No way? You again?"
Ming Disha pulled out a bag from behind the sofa, tore open the opening, revealing a girl's small head.
Golden hair, delicate features, eyes closed, seemingly asleep.
"Tang Yiyi!?"
Lu Chengwen covered his face: "Can you not do this in the future? Capturing someone without a sound, what is this?"
"I'm helping you!"
"Thank you very much!"
Ming Disha explained: "This one is top-grade! Used together with that little girl from the Zhang family last time, the effect is even better. Can refresh the mind, strengthen muscles and bones, relax muscles and invigorate blood, also anti-aging, enhance resistance!"
Lu Chengwen was extremely gloomy: "You do these things, aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning?"
"Not afraid." Ming Disha said: "For a normal person, the probability of being struck by lightning is one in a million. I think I can take this risk."
Lu Chengwen looked at him: "Are you a normal person? Your probability should be one hundred percent!"
"How can you talk to Shishu like this? What were you doing inside just now? Were you spending energy on useless people? Chengwen ah! You need to recognize your own identity!"
"Is your energy your own? It belongs to the world! It belongs to the entire world! Don't waste material on irrelevant girls!"
"You have to put your precious abilities on the right people. For example, this one..."
Ming Disha began to introduce his new "product" again:
"From looks, to figure, and her special physique, all very suitable for you! Refine her until she's completely submissive, use her alternately with that little chick from the Zhang family. I guarantee, within three months, you can reach peak Shangsimen!"
"Shishu, my Shifu taught me to walk the great path, practice benevolence and righteousness. You teach me to do sneaky things, deflower and steal. You're so old, do you think it's appropriate?"
Ming Disha suddenly stood up, very agitated:
"You have the Taigu Yuan Shen bloodline! One doesn't appear for hundreds of years! If yours is well cultivated, you have a chance to be compared with the twelve ancient primordial gods!"
"Neither I nor your Shifu have such conditions! If we did, we wouldn't be as hesitant, as indecisive as you!"
"Once Taigu Yuan Shen cultivates a divine persona, it's different from ordinary people, can destroy heaven and earth, overturn a_content! Once the Heavenly Tribulation arrives, this world can't be saved, who will bear it? Me? Or your Shifu?"
"We two are so old, and our cultivation has reached its limit, can we bear it? Isn't it still up to you young people?"
"Isn't it still up to you to go die!?"
Lu Chengwen's eyes widened: "Bearing the Heavenly Tribulation means dying?"
Ming Disha waved his hand grandly: "That's not important!"
Lu Chengwen: "Not important?"
Ming Disha: "I painstakingly help you find girls, do you think I'm morally degenerate, completely inhuman?"
"Yes! I am a person with a not-so-high moral standard. But do you really think, capturing these girls, I don't have the slightest sense of guilt or culpability?"
"Yes! I don't! But you also have to think clearly, your Shishu, I, did so much for you, is it because I want to prove my method is correct, prove I'm right?"
"Yes! I do have this thought! But you..."
"Alright alright!" Lu Chengwen interrupted: "Shishu, my matters in this aspect, I'll handle myself, you don't worry about it. Okay? You being like this makes me feel like I'm not even a person. The shadow left by the Qi Meishao incident I still haven't processed properly, now I feel like I..."
"How happy is she!?" Ming Disha said: "You have several good prospects right beside you, yet you don't touch a single one!"
Ming Disha pointed at Qi Meishao: "Take her for example. I knew at first glance, you're protecting her, reluctant to exploit her too much. Why are you so soft-hearted? She's a Nuwa descendant, very resilient. You're always reluctant to draw her internal energy, how can you advance?"
Qi Meishao blushed, not daring to make a sound.
Lu Chengwen felt extremely ashamed: "Don't... don't say these things in front of so many people."
"And her!" Ming Disha pointed at Hua Xueying: "Such a good girl, also top-grade! If you take her, I dare guarantee, you will definitely advance by leaps and bounds! Moreover, people have liked you for so long, you just let them watch, are you human?"
Hua Xueying nodded vigorously on the side: "Makes sense."
Lu Chengwen was almost crazy: "Shishu, lower your voice, don't get too agitated..."
"How can I not be agitated!" Ming Disha said: "Ai? Where's that little monkey of yours?"
"Upstairs, recently found someone to teach her piano, said it can train the brain."
"Oh oh, that one you have to handle carefully. She is your nemesis in life, also your lucky star in life."
Lu Chengwen looked back towards the stairs, asked Ming Disha: "Shishu, do you understand her situation? Can you tell me?"
"Hahaha! Interested in her, right?"
"No, I only treat her as a little sister."
"Cut the crap! You're the kind of person who wants to be a female special occupation service provider, yet also wants to build an urban landmark moral architecture! Your mouth shouts 'don't eat, don't eat', yet insists on people feeding it into your mouth. Now I've fed it into your mouth, what are you still pretending for?"
Lu Chengwen pulled Ming Disha: "Shishu, come over, sit here, sit down sit down, talk slowly."
Qi Meishao walked over: "Shishugong, the tea is cold, Meishao will change it for you."
"Mm-hmm, this girl is so sensible!" Ming Disha said: "Next time you persuade him, let him use more force, you can take it."
"Yes." Qi Meishao blushed: "Every time... persuaded..."
"That's good then."
Lu Chengwen felt like he was experiencing social death.
"You all go back to your rooms, go go go, I'll chat with Shishu for a while."
Lu Chengwen thought for a moment, said grinningly: "Shishu, you and Shifu... seem to both be able to divine and calculate?"
"Divining and calculating, that's Jianghu swindlers, we don't do that. We can just grasp a little bit of the Heavenly Dao, calculate heavenly luck, earthly luck, and human luck."
"Oh! Xiao Houzi's background, you know?"
"Know."
"Tell me! After I know, maybe I can help her. If she has a home, I'll send her back. If not, at least I'll know her origin."
"Aiya, I don't know either. Anyway... be careful when you sleep with her..."
"What sleep with her, I... Shishu, I'm not the kind of person you think!"
"I've calculated your fortunes."
"Oh? How is it?"
"Love and kill each other." Ming Disha said: "You are very likely to die at her hands, or die because of her."
Lu Chengwen was愣了 (stunned/paused).
"However! If you don't die, hahaha, then you're in luck!"
"How so lucky?"
"Another cauldron!"
Lu Chengwen thought, I just can't beat you, otherwise I'd slap you dead in minutes!
"Is there such a possibility, that... I don't have to die, I don't have to be lucky, just... settle her properly."
"Hahaha! No!" Ming Disha said: "Your destinies are entangled in the later stages. To give an analogy, you are a big tree, now vines are wrapping around you one by one. Xiao Houzi, this vine, is very important."
Lu Chengwen felt asking him was completely useless.
"Shishu, what exactly is that Heavenly Tribulation?"
Ming Disha smiled: "How would I know? I've never seen a Heavenly Tribulation in my life."
"Then has there been a Heavenly Tribulation before?"
"Legend says there was once, very terrifying."
"Oh? What was it like?"
"Records are not detailed." Ming Disha said: "Just says Heavenly Tribulation descended, world collapsed, twelve primordial gods sacrificed themselves, resisted the Heavenly Tribulation, saved the world. Roughly like that."
Lu Chengwen looked at him: "Previously it was... twelve gods, to resist the Heavenly Tribulation?"
"Right! Aiya, said to be gods, actually all human, just relatively formidable ancient martial artists."
Lu Chengwen continued: "Now the Heavenly Tribulation is coming again, you and Shifu think I alone can resist it?"
"Of course." Ming Disha said: "Mainly there's no one else, only you. If there were twelve like you, then what more to say."
"Just... can we find another twelve, swap me out?"
"No no!" Ming Disha shook his head like a pellet drum: "You are necessary, primary, indispensable."
"Meaning, I'm dead for sure?"
"Aiya, you're so young, what are you afraid of death for? It's normal for someone my age to be afraid of death. These young people."
Lu Chengwen sighed: "Shishu, actually, I can also calculate."
"Oh? What can you calculate?"
At this moment, Lu Chengwen felt something was wrong. Looked back, Tang Yiyi had woken up, opened her eyes, looking at him in terror.
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