Zhang Yichen originally did not realize he would have a weakness, until Ran Zhihan left.
"Child, you have never experienced the feeling of death over your head. I was afraid, do you know how I survived these years? I do not wish for that feeling to suffocate me once again. I have truly had enough of that feeling. Perhaps you may think my thoughts are foolish and naive. If I had known this would be the outcome, I would not have chosen to live this way. But every person makes mistakes. Is it true that for a mistake I made, I am never to be forgiven, and must endure a lifetime of ridicule and condemnation?
I know deep inside you harbor much resentment against me, I understand. But please consider my feelings for the effort I put forth in striving to live without being ordinary.
I really do not know how to express what I felt during that period to you, but today, I can tell you all my feelings."
...
