Chapter 7 - Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It had been a long time since I'd woken up to the sound of someone getting ready before me. I used to get annoyed by that. When I was in the dorm, many people would get up before me. We shared a room with six people, and two girls would get up at six in the morning to start getting ready because school started early. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't because they loved school so much, it was because their boyfriends were going to drop them off before they went to work. I know it's a frustrating truth, but most of the girls there were after getting married and building the family they never had. I couldn't blame them. A person should have a home, the home they were born into. Otherwise, their whole life would be spent searching for a home where they could belong. Like me…

Anyway, the bottom line is that back then, waking up like that every day made me angry because I had to be at work at eight in the morning, and the cafe I worked at was half an hour away from the dorm. So, even though I could have slept in for another hour, those two girls were forcing me to wake up at six every morning against my will. Since I married Aslan, I hadn't gotten up early. Well, not that early because I was still waking up at eight because I had to have breakfast with Aslan. I loved having breakfast with him because we could talk when it was just the two of us. When others started coming, Aslan always seemed to be talking from behind a wall. So I wanted to cherish every moment we could be alone. Aslan always got up very early. He would wake up for morning prayer, pray, go for a run, sometimes swim a little, and check his emails until breakfast was ready. Then I would wake up. Since we had a dressing room, I never even heard Aslan getting ready, but in this house, there was a cupboard with a slightly creaky door, and Aslan, who would get angry because he didn't know where everything was and tried to be quiet but couldn't. The room wasn't very small, but it was much smaller than our previous room, so every movement could be easily heard. Although I woke up, I didn't open my eyes at all because it wasn't even light yet. Had Aslan woken up for prayer at this hour? When the noises stopped, I slightly opened my eyes and subtly glanced at the clock, seeing that it was only five in the morning. The call to prayer must have already been recited. He doesn't have the energy to exercise here, nor does he have any work that requires him to check his emails anymore. Why did he get up and leave then? Realizing I couldn't contain my curiosity, I got up and went to the bathroom across from my room to wake myself up. The bathroom was small, and of course, there was no bathtub. One of the things I enjoy most in life is taking long, relaxing baths. I already missed my home so much.

After washing my face and drying it with the towel nearby, my eyes opened. I had regained some composure and was a little more alert. Leaving the bathroom, I went down the stairs at the corner. I could hear rattling sounds and smell something burning. Since I didn't know the house yet, I just tried to follow the sound and smell. Was the house on fire, God forbid? When I reached the door to the right of the main door, I found Aslan in the kitchen, practically wrestling with the toaster. The kitchen was filled with smoke, and Aslan was muttering to himself while trying to open the window.

"I'll shove it up your ass, you machine! Good heavens!" Judging by the smell, he'd burned the toast. He was always a mess in the kitchen, I don't know why, but he didn't really like the smell of food. He must have been really hungry to have dared to go into the kitchen. How could someone not adjust the toaster's temperature? I couldn't help but giggle as he looked at the charred toast, wondering what to do with it. Aslan turned to me and hid the toast behind his back like a guilty child.

"Why did you wake up? Did I wake you up?" he said. He looked so sweet I wanted to squeeze and bite his cheeks, but I wasn't going to. He was going to touch me first. I hadn't forgotten yesterday's "no sex" nonsense, and he was definitely going to be the one to make the first move. Suppressing the urge to laugh...

" I heard some noises and thought , ' My husband must have gone crazy and decided to get up at this hour of the morning and burn the house down.'" I said. Aslan looked at me as if to say, "That's very funny."

"You're wrong. Your husband gets up at this hour of the morning to go to work and bring home the bread," she said.

"At this hour of the morning?" I said, getting up from where I was leaning and going inside.

"The construction site where I'll be working is a bit far from here, and I'm going with a kid from the neighborhood. I need to leave early. My shift starts at eight. I thought I'd grab something to eat, but…" she pulled out a burnt piece of toast from behind her back and showed it to me. I looked at the toast, then at my husband, wondering if she was really serious.

"You're serious. Aslan, please don't be silly, working in construction isn't as easy as you think," I said, becoming serious . God forbid, there might be an accident or something. No, I could never allow that. He was dirty and all, but I had a husband. Aslan put the toast down on the counter, came closer to me, put his arms around my waist, and pulled me close.

"Nothing will happen, don't worry, it's not an unfamiliar place," he said.

"Okay, being a boss is one thing, being a worker is another. An accident might happen, something might happen, what's the point of all this now? Why are you laughing?" I was worried about the gentleman, and he was smirking at me. My reaction made him tighten his grip on me even more, and he moved a little closer.

"I was thinking how beautiful he looks while my wife is worried about me, but don't change anything, keep going, I'm listening," he said. I was taken aback by the unexpected compliment. Lately, Aslan had been complimenting me more and touching me with more affection. Could he really be changing as he said? While I wanted to believe it so much, I couldn't ignore the part of me that was terrified. I hated being so easily affected whenever he got close to me . To protect myself, I needed to stay away from him. So I pulled away from his arms and stepped back. Aslan's smiling face fell, but as if he had expected it, he didn't seem bothered at all; on the contrary, he didn't spoil the atmosphere at all.

"Since you care about me so much, you can make your husband a toast," she said. I was in shock again because she was actually trying to appease me now. She was preventing a potential argument, which was something Aslan would never do. I would usually be the one to do that. My head was getting even more confused because of this.

"If you're so determined, you can handle the toaster too," I said, turning my back on her and walking out of the kitchen. She followed me…

"You'll need more than this to intimidate me," he yelled, but I didn't stop and went back up the stairs to my room. I'd see how he treated me at the end of the day. When he came home with his back broken from working at the construction site, he'd want to go back and everything would be back to normal. Everything being back to normal was good. Confusion wasn't good.

When I got into bed, I wanted to sleep but couldn't. My mind was still on Aslan. He definitely hadn't eaten anything. His stomach always ached all day if he didn't eat in the mornings. That's why he always had at least a small breakfast. I wish I had made him a sandwich.

a minute, why would I even bother preparing anything like that, acting like an idiot? We're in this situation because of him in the first place. And now I'm supposed to prepare breakfast for him too?

But she'll have a stomach ache all day.

Ugh, why was I such an idiot?

I wish he'd eaten something there. Should I have called him? No, I couldn't call him. I wasn't going to call him. What time was it? Let me check the time.

I picked up my phone from the nightstand and unlocked it, only to see Esra had called a thousand times. She must have been bursting with worry after last night. What had Selim done to her? I was shocked to see it was nine o'clock. I'd been tossing and turning in bed since Aslan left, but I hadn't noticed how late it was. I didn't want to return her call, thinking Esra was probably still asleep. At least one of us could get some sleep. Just as I was about to hang up, I gave in to temptation and called Aslan. I could subtly try to get information out of him without showing how worried I was, what's wrong with that? He answered immediately on the second ring.

"Yes, sir," he simply said. His voice was a little distant, but it was always like that when someone was with him .

"Hello Aslan," I just said. What else was I supposed to say?

"What happened, sweetheart? Did something happen?" he said. Sweetheart?

"Nothing happened, I just wanted to call and ask if you still haven't given up." Okay, I had started off well. After a few rustling sounds...

"I'm doing quite well, wife. You should start thinking about what will happen when you lose in a week." He said. Seeing that he started calling her "wife," he had moved to a place where he would be alone.

"So you're that good," I said.

"Is there something that should make me feel bad?" she asked. I was trying to get information out of her, and she was trying to get information out of me. Just say nothing hurts, what's the big deal?

"No, it's hard work after all, I just wanted to see if anything was hurting you," I said. "I wanted to see if anything was hurting you," I said. What do you mean, "I wanted to see if you were hurting?" I was acting like a complete idiot. Aslan actually laughed at what I said. He chuckled heartily, you know.

"You can just ask him directly, 'My love, you didn't eat breakfast this morning, does your stomach hurt?' Don't hesitate," he said. Oh, he understood. And on top of that, he was teasing me.

"What does that have to do with anything? It hadn't even crossed my mind," I said, making one last desperate attempt.

"I understand. My stomach was aching a little, but since you don't seem worried, it doesn't matter then," he said seriously. I sat up anxiously from where I was lying.

"I knew it. Are you a child? You know yourself, yet you don't eat anything. You always have to eat ready--" I was just about to go on my way when Aslan's laughter stopped me mid-sentence. I guess I really was a fool . I fell for the bait so easily.

"You're so mean," I said. My face was sullen.

"You're very beautiful too," he said, suddenly stopping his laughter. He said it so sincerely when he complimented me that it was impossible not to believe him.

"I'm fine, don't worry, I ate something here," he said when I didn't reply. Just as I was about to open my mouth to break the silence between us...

"I have to hang up. Call me if anything happens," he said and hung up. If I could have trusted him, this conversation could have ended very differently . For example, I could have pretended to be a little upset and waited for him to make amends . Of course, if I could have trusted him. Aslan always gave such compliments, but I could never tell which ones were real. Because every time I got close to falling for him, I would hit a wall that belonged to Aslan . Each collision was harder than the last, and that's how I learned not to fall for him.

Just when I thought I wouldn't get hurt anymore, he wanted to drag me into his whirlwind again. I couldn't do this to myself without believing I could fly in his wind without getting hurt.

"Oh no, what am I going to do?" I said, exasperated. I pushed my disheveled hair to the side with my hand and continued sitting on the bed with my hand on my head. After a while, I got up from the bed when the doorbell started ringing frantically. Who could it be now, like a creditor? Even when I went downstairs to the door, the person on the door kept pressing the bell incessantly.

"I'm here, explosion!" I said, reaching for the door. When I opened it, Esra was looking at me with worried eyes. Of course, it could only be my accomplice, who had arrived looking so frantic.

"Where have you been, girl? I was dying of worry!" she said, walking straight in. I closed the door and followed her into the living room.

"If only you knew what happened," I said as Esra sat down on the three-seater sofa.

"I already know," he said. I sat down next to him.

"How do you know?" I asked. He had been so involved in pursuing Aslan with me, he couldn't possibly know we were fake . He couldn't possibly know what we talked about last night.

"We clashed yesterday when Aslan abi sent me to Selim, and he's the one who told me," he said. That's right, Selim knew everything, that treacherous bastard; I was going to get my revenge on him too.

"What did he tell you?" I asked. Maybe he told her something Aslan didn't tell me.

"When he saw me, he started scolding me, saying things like, 'How could I have thought of calling him and trying to get information out of him,' and so on. Of course, I started badmouthing Aslan, and when I did, he got angry and, in his anger, he explained. Aslan actually bought the house for you , and left everything else to Selim. I was shocked, but I can't believe it, I really thought you two were married all this time! You've been fooling me completely!" he said sadly.

"Did you find out about that too?" I said, annoyed. I liked Esra's interest in us. Being a couple in her mind felt good to me. It distanced me from my reality for a while, but now she had become a part of our reality. At least next to her, even if it was just for show, I could feel like a truly married and loved woman.

"When Selim said that Aslan had bought the house, I didn't believe him. I wondered what the connection was. He probably said everything because I called him a liar," he said. Selim hated lies. He had a strange sensitivity to them. No matter what, he could never lie. Especially not to those he loved.

"You're right, but I couldn't tell you. Aslan and I had an agreement. Besides, you loved our relationship so much. I didn't want to ruin the image of us you had in your dreams," I said. At least in someone's eyes, I still wanted to be that woman who was so loved by her husband.

"I was incredibly disappointed, I won't lie, but then when I thought about Aslan buying the house and all that, my girl, it's so romantic! He literally left everything to Selim just so he could be a real family with you," she said excitedly. From the outside, it looked exactly like that, but they didn't know Aslan. If she knew what I'd been through with him, she'd say, "Don't believe it, this could be another game." Still, I didn't want to show her that it upset me.

"Oh well, Aslan is bored and looking for excitement," I said jokingly.

"No, no, I think it's very serious, I'm saying she gave everything to Selim," she said, trying to convince me. The part of me that wanted to believe her was strengthened by what Esra said, but the part of me that told me to protect myself was showing me my past wounds, saying, "Don't do it, it only gets worse every time." I wanted to change the subject.

"He deserves what he got for tricking us like that. We have so much work to do, didn't he? Couldn't he have warned us?" I said. I really wanted to strangle him the first time I saw him. Okay, he might be Aslan's man, but we'd been friends for so long. He should have given some warning. When the topic of Selim came up again, Esra blushed slightly. Oh, something must have happened.

"What?" I said. Something had happened, and she was desperate to tell me.

"What happened?" I insisted.

"Last night, when Selim and I went out, he naturally yelled at me, saying things like, 'How could I even think of using her?' And I yelled back at him. He yelled at me. When I say I yelled at him…"

"When you say 'EE'..."

"We kissed," she said in one breath, covering her face with her hands.

"What? How did you kiss?" I asked in astonishment. We should have slept together like army buddies yesterday. The horse has already bolted. Damn you, Aslan! Esra didn't take her hands off her face...

"You know how kissing works, you're a married woman," he said in a hoarse voice. She was also embarrassed. He took her hands and pulled them away from her face.

"No escaping it, just tell me right away," I said with a smile . Her face had literally turned bright red.

"I didn't understand it either. The argument suddenly escalated. I said, 'Actually, you were the ones playing games with us.' When I asked if he told me their location because he couldn't resist, he suddenly said, 'Because I couldn't resist,' and kissed me. I was shocked, I just stood there. Then I ran away." She said. Ran away? Oh, just imagining Esra running away made me laugh.

"Stop laughing, girl!" she said, but I couldn't help it. Oh my God, what a comedy we had gotten ourselves into.

"Did you run away right away?" I said, trying to suppress my laughter.

"You're kidding me. Yeah, I ran away right away. We were probably waiting for it to end," he said, sounding innocent. This made him even funnier. I tried to stop myself from laughing, but I couldn't.

"Don't laugh, I'm leaving," he said, getting up from the chair.

"Stop, stop, okay, I'm not laughing," I said, making her sit back down. I managed to suppress my laughter, but tears were practically streaming down my face.

"Why did you run away? Maybe he was going to confess his love," I said, composing myself.

"Oh yes, he messaged me this morning, it was just a momentary lapse of judgment, something that happened when we were going to see each other face to face." She said, trying to sound angry, but I could tell the sadness in her voice.

"Animal," I said, immediately backing my friend up. It seemed she inherited her brother's erratic behavior. Aslan had said the same thing when he first kissed me. Anyway, that's not the point right now.

"You seem upset," I said, holding Esra's hand. She was trying to hide it, but I knew her so well I could tell.

"Of course I was upset. I mean, I didn't expect it at all, to be honest. Even if he was interested, he hadn't shown it until now, but when he kissed me… I don't know, I just wanted that moment to never end," she said dreamily. So Esra was interested in Selime too.

"I actually knew," I said. His eyes lit up. Selim was very good at hiding his emotions because he made fun of everything. You could never tell when he was serious and when he was joking, but people like me did. Those who had to wear the same mask recognized each other by their masks.

"How?" he said immediately.

"It's hard to understand how Selim feels. He seems to take everything lightly, that's true, but I caught him glancing at you a couple of times when you weren't looking at him, even when I was sure no one was watching. I tried to pry information out of him a couple of times, but he didn't give anything away, like his older brother. But remember that day when you were very sick and there was no one else at home, and I brought you soup?"

"Yes, my mother was on vacation in France again," she said. I was really annoyed with Esra's mother. She was extremely similar to my mother-in-law. She acted like she created the world, but in reality, she was so empty-headed she could talk for hours about a handbag. She didn't care about Esra at all. The only thing she cared about was the praise she'd receive through Esra. If Esra got into university, she'd immediately grab all the praise. If Esra wore a beautiful dress, she'd claim she chose it. If Esra made a mistake, she'd immediately pounce on her, playing the victimized mother who could never get anyone to listen to her . She wouldn't even let her gain weight; she forced Esra to play the piano against her will. Luckily, when Esra pretended to flirt with the piano teacher, her mother got scared and immediately fired the teacher. Although she made Esra's life miserable afterward, it was still okay. Esra could somehow cope with her mother, but I knew how much her mother's lack of affection broke her heart.

"Oh, forget about your mother for now. When you called me, Selim was with me. That day, he insisted on taking her to the doctor, and that's when I wondered if it was something serious. Then I decided to make you some soup, but I saw there wasn't a chicken at home, so I thought I'd send someone over. Before I could finish, he darted off and came back with a bunch of things in his hand. I asked, 'What are these?' It turned out he'd gone to a herbalist and asked what was good for her. Apparently, the herbalist, seeing how rich he was, ripped him off and sold him everything he had, and the poor guy bought it. At that moment, I thought, 'He definitely likes Esra.'" When I said this, the smile on Esra's face showed that my innocent friend had already fallen for Selim. She started giggling stupidly in front of me.

"Oh dear, have they been scammed?" he said innocently . Look at what he's focusing on. 

"Oh Esra, is that what you're worried about? It won't bother him, don't worry. Especially now, he'll buy as many things as you want, just ask," I said. My awful husband had really gone and given everything to Selim. My nerves were on edge again just thinking about it.

"But seriously, when did you two strike up a conversation that made Selim so smitten with you?" I asked, while she continued to giggle innocently. Honestly, I'd never seen them talk like that before. It wasn't something that could happen just from looking at each other. Esra shifted in her seat at my question. Wow, she had so much to hide from me!

"Well, not really, yes. Do you remember that celebratory dinner you had at your house? I don't remember why, but Burak and I had a fight that day. I was already feeling bad, and then I argued with my mother at your house, so I went out into the garden and sat on the swing in the corner, but it was freezing. Then Selim came. He sat next to me, and I was about to cry. Selim just sat there, then he took off his jacket and put it on my shoulders. Like a trembling cat, already in need of the slightest bit of affection, that single gesture untied all the knots I had tied to keep from crying. I started sobbing uncontrollably . Selim hugged me, and I don't know how long I cried on his chest. In that moment, in that flood of emotions, I thought, 'Do you think I'm someone who can't be loved?'" I said. Then he took a handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to me. 'I thought you were just a spoiled rich girl, but when I saw the woman there trying to protect herself from her mother, I realized that this is just a mask you use to hide the truth. Don't expect help from that pimp or anyone else. Or from your mother who doesn't even have love to give herself. Love yourself.' He said and left. After that, he didn't pay much attention to me, he made a couple of sarcastic remarks and that's it." She said. Look at Selim, he's so good at talking when he wants to. But when it comes to me, all he does is mock and joke.

"And I'm only finding out about all this now?" I said. So many things had happened and I was only just learning about them. I was losing my form because of this Aslan.

"I don't know, I guess I was a little embarrassed to talk about it. There's also the part about my mother . You know I don't like talking about my mother," she said. At least she had a family she could talk to. Anyway, the topic of family never appealed to me either.

"Okay, yes, you're right. But what's going to happen to Burak now?" I asked. After all, they had a relationship, even if it was on and off. She couldn't be with both Selim and him, and I would never allow that. No matter what, I wouldn't let Selim be sacrificed.

"It was already over with him a long time ago; we were pushing it forward because my mother forced us. The last thing I remember was him buying a bracelet on our massage day; I showed it to you too. We met again that day, argued, and ended it," she said. This whole Burak thing was getting on her nerves. The guy had cheated on Esra a thousand times, but because his family was very wealthy, his mother was forcing him to continue the relationship .

"Okay, forget about Burak and all that, tell me what you and Aslan did after I left," she said excitedly. We were still her favorite couple. To be honest, I really liked that she hadn't lost that enthusiasm for us even after learning the truth. After all, it felt good that she had a supporter of both of us.

"What were we going to do? We fought. I burst in, asking where that woman was. Aslan went crazy. He said, 'No woman, no woman. Now it's just you, me, and this house.' I didn't understand at first, then he said, 'I left everything to Selim; the only thing I have is this house.'" I said. Remembering those moments, the blood rushed to my head again.

"So, what did you say?" she asked with the same excitement.

"I told her I'd divorce her. And since you know everything… Wait a minute, how do you know everything? Did Selim tell you that part too ?" I said, realizing I'd overlooked this detail . How on earth had Esra found out? Okay, Selim had described the house, but he would never mention a fake marriage.

"No, when Selim dropped me off at home, Aslan's mother was there. She saw me with Selim. She tried to scold me. Then, when I responded, she said, 'You're the one who spoils things,' and told me that you still think that girl is your friend, that her life is a lie, that everything she does is a pretense. That's how she explained it." She said. Not content with picking on me, now she was picking on Esra just because she was my friend. Besides, what was wrong with Selim? He was a decent-looking, hardworking, and very respectful person. Of course, because he didn't have a rich father, she had looked down on him for years. I guess the reason he was respected was because of Aslan and her husband, which made her think that way. She thought that to be respected, you had to be something to someone – someone very rich. Why would someone belittle themselves so much? 

But God is great, and now his son is penniless and everything is in the hands of Selim, the very man he dislikes.

For a brief moment, my anger towards Selim seemed to subside.

Just a tiny moment.

"I'm not surprised at all, she never liked me from the beginning. And she's not wrong, after all, I married her son for his money," I said. I might have been changing the subject, but I wanted to find out what Esra thought by throwing out this bait . Did she see me as a gold digger too?

But even though this was true, why didn't I want him to think that way?

"For God's sake, Selin, do you think my mother married my father because she loved them so much? Or Aunt Meltem married Uncle Semih? They all had marriages of convenience. Have you ever heard of a woman in our community marrying a poor man? Or do you know a mother who wouldn't object if she tried to do that? There's nothing to feel bad about. Don't misunderstand what I'm about to say, but if I had a life like yours, I would marry someone who would save me, just for that reason." she said. I must admit, I had misunderstood Esra until now. I was so focused on her being a spoiled rich girl that I never believed she could be more than that. I thought she would think like everyone else when she learned the truth, but she completely shocked me. She understood me. She tried to understand the life I lived. It was invaluable that she considered these things before judging me. I hated myself when I thought about the times I used her just to avoid being alone . While I accused the rich women around me of being fake, I had unknowingly done the same thing to Esra.

This girl definitely deserved a better friend than me.

"Do you really think so?" I asked involuntarily. She nodded understandingly .

"I really think so. Okay, you deceived me and you'll have to make it up to you, but you're my friend. You're the friend who scolds me to show me my mistakes because you're worried about me, the friend who scolds my mother for me. I'm not going to erase all of that because of one mistake," she said. My eyes were welling up, I think. I'd always been close to her, but for some reason, because we gossiped so much, I'd been afraid to tell her anything about myself. I couldn't believe I was so prejudiced against Esra .

"Anyway, let's break this gloomy atmosphere. You said you'd divorce me last time, what did Aslan abi do when you said that ? " she said. Esra, like Selim, couldn't stand the seriousness of the situation.

"My husband, that brute, told me, 'If you find a lawyer to divorce you, let me know.' He said he wanted a family. We'll stay here until he stops seeing me only as money. We'll make this our home. It will be a home where I want to come back every day, and where you expect me to come back every day," I recounted, of course omitting the sexual part. There was no need to go into such detail right now.

"Oh, how romantic," she said. She literally rested her hand on her face, captivated by what I was describing, like she was watching a love movie .

"What's so nice about it? They've stuck us here working in construction, what's that? They'll go and injure themselves just to play this game," I said. Esra lifted her head from her hand and...

"Honestly, I don't think it's a game at all. Look at the nice things he said to you. He's started working in construction. Okay, the house is a bit old, but at least it's a nice neighborhood," she said. She was a rich girl, after all. She didn't know what it was like to struggle to make ends meet, so she imagined these neighborhoods were like those in TV shows.

"Life here isn't like those shows you see, Esra. My hair was starting to turn gray from constantly worrying about how I was going to make ends meet . Aslan is trying to believe in a rosy fairy tale like you, but the truth is, it's nothing like that," I said, slightly annoyed. I couldn't help it; I was being dragged back into the life I was trying to escape with these unreal, rosy fairy tales.

"Okay, calm down. I mean, you're right, it's difficult, but it won't be like you fear. Look, Aslan will do whatever it takes to prevent you from getting into such a situation," he said to reassure me. Yes, Aslan was very hardworking and would never let me be dependent on anyone. I know he could handle anything, but my problem wasn't just the hardship I would face myself.

"I don't trust Aslan. His sudden change doesn't seem normal to me," I said. That was what I was really afraid of.

"Maybe he always thought that way, but since he didn't see anything from you, he continued with his game," she said. It was Aslan who started the game anyway.

"Well, Aslan came to me with this idea," I said. I had gone along with Aslan's lead.

"Think about it, what did you need? Money. And maybe Aslan thought that was the easiest way to reach you, couldn't that be?" she said. I thought back to the day I first met Aslan. He came to the cafe where I worked. He had a terrible headache and asked for a strong coffee. I knew he had a headache because he kept holding his forehead and even wore sunglasses inside the cafe. After taking his coffee order, I had a strong painkiller that I always kept ready, and when I saw Aslan like that, I handed him the medicine and said it would help with his headache . That was the first time he looked up at me. That was the first time I thought, "What a handsome man," but of course, we couldn't stare at each other for long, and I immediately went back to my work and took the order of the next customer. To be honest, I realized he was watching me until his coffee was ready, but that happened. Sometimes customers like that came in, and I never paid any attention. There were all kinds of people, after all. Like every woman, I pretended not to notice and waited for them to give up. As if the problem was with me. Anyway, I had behaved the same way towards Aslan, but when his coffee was ready and he took it, he came over to me and offered me some money. 'Think of it as a tip,' he said, and with all my impudence, I thought, 'From where you're standing, did I look like someone who could say no to a little extra money?' and I took the money without objection. What was I supposed to do? It was the last day to pay the electricity bill. I wonder if that's why he saw me as a greedy person.

"Well, maybe, but Aslan is the kind of guy no woman can say no to, so it wouldn't take long for him to impress me," I said. I mean, if someone like Aslan tried to flirt with me, even if he was broke, I wouldn't say no. Because my husband was so handsome, okay ? I wasn't superficial. Aslan would make you superficial.

"Yes, but maybe he was afraid of commitment. Think about it, Aslan was always a very cold type, even with his own family. I mean, sometimes he would have dinner with my father, and Aslan wouldn't be very warm . Maybe he was afraid of what he felt for you, and then when he saw your situation, he thought he could be with you without any commitment. Then, I wonder if you did something to Aslan that made him want to make this situation a reality," she said. Could it be? Was that why he had completely changed after I hugged him? We had been married for a year, and there had been times when I had been very close to him, but every time he saw that I believed him, he did everything he could to destroy it. I couldn't trust assumptions until I was sure of what he was trying to do. After all, Esra didn't know what had happened between us. Her inferences weren't very accurate either.

"I don't know, I can't trust Esra Aslan based on such assumptions," I said.

"Okay, you're right, don't trust them right away, I agree. After all, I don't know what you've been through, but don't forget what I said, okay? Besides, you're only here for three months, right? A little fun won't hurt. Just adapt, what do you have to lose?" she said. She was right, actually. One way or another, I was here for three months. I was afraid of running out of money, yes, but that was Aslan's problem now. Since he was so curious, maybe I could find a way to have fun here.

"That's true, though I haven't met anyone yet," I said. I could play the role of a housewife who had completely handed over control to her husband for a while. I had become quite an actress anyway. Esra looked at her phone.

"Oh, it's getting late, I have to go, darling," she said, getting up. I would be alone once Esra left, and for some reason, that bothered me. Esra's arrival had made me forget everything, at least for a while. Now that she was gone, I would be alone.

"Stay a little longer," I said, hoping against hope. When Esra got up from the chair, I got up with her.

"I can't stay, I have a hair appointment with my mother. I'm not thrilled , but she's my mother. Keep me informed of developments, and I'll come again," she said. I walked her to the door. After she put on her shoes, we hugged, and she opened the door. A girl about our age was standing there with a container in her hand, about to ring the doorbell, when she saw us. She lowered her hand and...

"Hello. It's a bit strange, like I've been caught red-handed. I'm Pınar, your next-door neighbor, and I brought some pastries to congratulate you on your move. You probably haven't had a chance to cook anything since you were busy moving." She handed the pastries to Esra. I think Esra mistook her for the homeowner when she opened the door .

"I absolutely love pastries, but unfortunately I'm not the host," Esra said. Laughing at her attitude, I turned to her and took the pastry from her hand.

"I'll take it. Thank you very much, I'm Selin, the hostess. Esra is my friend," I said, introducing her. Who makes jokes like that, right from the start?

"Yes, I'm her best friend. Nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand. Luckily, she was sweet, so Esra didn't get annoyed.

"Excuse me, I thought it was you when you opened the door. Nice to meet you," she said, and after shaking Esra's outstretched hand, she extended hers to me. I shook her hand as well. She seemed like a very nice and respectful girl. Luckily, my next-door neighbor turned out to be a good person.

"You've gone to so much trouble, and it smells wonderful. Please come inside and let's eat together," I said politely. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to meet some people.

"No, actually, I came to invite you over. The women in the neighborhood get together a few days a week, and today everyone came to our place for something like that . Please come over, you can meet everyone." she said. I was torn between going and not going. Suddenly, all eyes would be on me, and I didn't know what to tell the women. I couldn't exactly say, "We're actually very rich, but my husband dragged us into this game." If I refused, I'd look too distant. Anyway, it was best to just dive in. I'd figure something out somehow .

"Sure, that would be great, I'd get to meet everyone," I said. She got it all out of the way in one go. Turning to Esra...

"Will you come?" I asked. She couldn't, but still, it wouldn't seem like I didn't ask her friend in front of the girl.

"No, I can't come then, maybe another time. It was nice meeting you again. See you." she said.

"Nice to meet you too, see you later," Pınar said. Esra smiled and got into her car in front of the house. I waved goodbye to her one last time and watched the car drive away. Ah, I missed my car so much. I wondered what my little ladybug was doing without me.

"Shall we go?" Pınar 's voice brought me back to reality.

"I'll put this in the kitchen and be right back," I said, and after leaving the container in the kitchen, we went into the house next door. There was an empty garden between our house and theirs. I think it was Pınar's garden. We entered the house through the garden gate. Their house looked similar to ours, but a little bigger. When we passed through the kitchen and entered the living room, I was shocked to see so many women together. There were ten women inside. Three were middle-aged. Two were elderly. The others were young, and I think they were the daughters of the middle-aged women ; they were sitting at the dining table chatting. When we entered, everyone stopped their conversations and focused on us, which made me feel a little embarrassed. I didn't know what to do .

"Ladies, I've brought you our mysterious new neighbor. Selin. Selin, and these are our neighborhood crew. Counting from the right: Aunt Nurgül, Aunt Aynur, and my mother Nermin. This inseparable duo is my grandmother Hatice and Aunt Nurgül's mother, Aunt Nuriye. And these girls are my crew: Tülay, Defne, and Mine. Mine is Aunt Nurgül's daughter. Defne and Tülay are Aunt Aynur's daughters. Oh, I'm tired, it's getting long." I couldn't remember any of the names, but oh well, I'd figure it out eventually. There were quite a few women here, thank goodness. While sending everyone a sweet smile, I hoped I wouldn't have to say anyone's name.

"Nice to meet you all," I said. If I started kissing them all now, it would take forever. Everyone said welcome in unison.

"Welcome, my dear, come sit here." Pınar's mother pointed to the single armchair next to the sofa where the three women were sitting side by side. They were definitely going to put me in the interrogation chair and bombard me with questions. I reluctantly went and sat down. Everyone was looking at me, trying to figure out what kind of person I was at first glance . Of course, the situation was the same for me, but everyone seemed quite friendly. I hoped that no one from this group would turn out to be a troublemaker later on.

"How are you, my dear? Have you settled in yet?" That question, which would start my lie, came from one of the aunts.

"So, we're settling in gradually, auntie," I said, a low-risk answer. The other aunt...

"Oh, there's no rush anyway. Where are you from, my dear?" she asked.

"I'm from Istanbul, my wife's side of the family is from Sivas," I said. Although, technically, I didn't know where I was from. After all, I was born in Istanbul. Or so I thought.

" Good , good, people from Sivas are honorable. We're from Trabzon. What does your husband do?" she asked. It was obvious from her accent that they were from Trabzon. I was having a little trouble understanding her, but she spoke very sweetly. We were moving from question to question very quickly. Aunt Hatice was clearly a shrewd woman. She was trying to figure out who I was and what I did right away.

"Mom, don't pressure your daughter. Pınar, make some tea, my dear." Just as she was about to answer, Pınar 's mother interrupted. She did it so as not to disturb her, but there was no problem, dear. I had an answer for everything . Pınar immediately got up and went to the kitchen at her mother's suggestion.

"No, it's not important at all, the construction worker is my husband, auntie," I said. Although maybe he was doing something else there, but anyway, it wasn't that important. You don't give details when you lie.

"That's great ." "So he has a profession too . I wonder which construction site he works at? A few people from here also work in construction." I think it was Aynur who said this.

"The Murats are working in construction, Mom." Defne blurted out, and everyone turned to look at her. She was left speechless, as if she had made a gaffe .

"How do you know that, Mommy?" Aunt Aynur said sarcastically. This sarcasm was definitely not a sweet one. It was more of a threatening, almost "I'm going to rip your head off" kind of sarcasm.

"I know. I saw them with Murat when they were leaving this morning, so I guessed it." She said, panicking. The Lions had left at the crack of dawn; she would have had to wake up on purpose to see them at that hour, which was highly improbable. Besides, she had just said Murat, and now she said "brother" ? Aynur was staring at the girl in such a way that even I was scared.

"Yes, they went together this morning," I interjected. Aynur's attention turned back to me. At least I had saved the girl. 

"He's Murat's friend then," said Aunt Aynur. As if I knew Murat.

"Yes, yes, an old friend," I said. I was trying to deflect the question, hopefully it would work. Just as I was about to ask something new, Pınar came in with a plate overflowing with tea, saving me. Honestly, I was starving. From the doorway...

"Girls, if you want, let's go out to the garden. Come on, Selin," she said. It wouldn't be rude, I suppose. With a plate overflowing with food in her hands, I couldn't refuse any offer. Looking around hesitantly, I saw Aunt Nermin.

"Go on, my girls, our program will start soon anyway," she said , and we followed the girls out into the garden. They had a small but tidy garden. There was a garden table, like a dining table, against the wall of the house, and a three-seater swing by the wall opposite. It was clear they used the garden often. When the girls went to the table, I sat down on a chair with them. Pınar placed the plate and tea in front of me and sat down next to me. Defne and Tülay sat opposite us.

"Oh my, my parents really interrogated me. Especially Grandma Nuriye ," Defne said.

"You should be thankful their attention wasn't on you, otherwise you'd have had a hard time escaping Aunt Aynur's wrath," Pınar said beside me. I popped a pastry into my mouth even though the topic wasn't about me . Anything I ate before another question came my way. I hadn't even had breakfast. That Aslan was just a nuisance to me.

"What could I do? It just slipped out. I did see Murat leaving the house this morning, but he was helping Aslan a few times at your house , and we saw him drinking tea at the door with Güneş . He introduced us there, that's what he said in passing. By the way, Güneş is my niece." She said, looking at me. Wow, there were so many people there. Murat wasn't her boyfriend or anything, so it seemed like there was more of a platonic feeling between them.

"She's my daughter," said Tülay. Did this woman have a child too? She looked quite young. She seemed a bit cold , but her face softened immediately when she mentioned her daughter .

"Really? You look so young, sorry, that's why I was surprised," I said. She really did look very young. Had she married early?

"It's okay, everyone says the same thing, but I'm 30 and my daughter is only five," she said with a smile. So that's what genetics are like, I guess . The woman was as fit as a fiddle. I wanted to believe that if I applied a thousand different creams at once, I would never age.

"Where is your daughter then?" I asked. I adored children. Unless I had given birth to them myself, of course. I was especially fond of girls.

"He's sleeping upstairs. He was a bit grumpy last night and didn't sleep much. When he came to the neighborhood, he got all worked up with the kids, and now he's passed out," she said.

"Anyway, let's get back to me. This girl is always taking the spotlight off me," Defne said. Look at the aunt, she was jealous of her niece.

"How much longer is this going to go on?" Tülay said, bringing the subject back to Murat. Nobody was surprised by this situation. Apparently, Defne's behavior was normal. There was a slight spoiled nature to Defne.

"As far as it goes. And now Selin is here too," she said eagerly. How indifferent I was at that moment. I was just about to pop a stuffed grape leaf into my mouth.

"Me?" I asked, placing my stuffed grape leaf on my plate . Defne smiled.

"Yes, it's you. Since you know Murat, maybe you can set us up," she said. Wow, she's so confident! We'd only known each other for an hour.

"Don't be ridiculous, Defne, we just met the girl, it's embarrassing," said Tülay. Thankfully, there was someone sensible among us; indeed, how careless they were, maybe I was just being malicious .

"It's not shameful, of course, but what could I do?" I said, pretending. I mean, I could have done a lot if I wanted to, but what did it matter to me right now?

"I don't know, just being in the same place a few times would be enough for me," she said. She sounded a little sad as she said it. Poor thing, she was clearly suffering from heartbreak. And I couldn't stand seeing someone so sad.

"Haven't you ever been in the same environment?" I asked. A little learning wouldn't hurt.

"They were found, of course they were! Murat is like an older brother to me, and we see each other as a family, but since we're usually like an army, and my brother unfortunately doesn't separate Defne from me, and he's friends with Defne's brother, you can't really call it a social gathering , " Pınar said. So, this Murat was Pınar's brother, and on top of that, he was friends with Defne's brother. Love affairs involving a brother's friend were always very difficult . Usually, they were more like infatuation than love, but this girl seemed quite smitten. It was best to stay away from this. If I pry too much, our secrets might be revealed.

"Yes, in fact, she doesn't even try. We exchange a couple of words, and even then it's just simple things like how school is going. She's a bit of a blockhead, but what can you do, it's the heart . " I couldn't help but laugh at what she said. She had a bit of a spoiled attitude, but she was a funny girl. Had I seen this Murat before ? I couldn't remember anyone named Murat at all.

"So, Defne, I don't think I'll have much of an impact. To be honest, I haven't really seen Murat that often either. I'm sorry," I said with feigned sadness. Though it wasn't entirely a lie, I didn't really know Murat at all .

"Anyway, let's drop the subject of Murat now. Selin, tell us where you came from, who you are, what you do? Aslan is my brother's friend , but we can't really say we know him very well ," Pınar said. She had diverted the topic, but what was I supposed to tell her now ? It was practically up to me to clean up after my awful husband. Luckily, I was good at that.

"Again in Istanbul" "We used to live here before, but across the street. When Aslan inherited this house from his grandfather, we found it. We wanted our own house, so we bought it," I said. If I had said his father died and he inherited it, my dear father-in-law could have raided the place at any moment. If I hadn't given that detail, the fact that a man working in construction was buying his own house would have aroused suspicion. I had preempted all of that in two seconds with three sentences. I was a clever woman, indeed.

"That's great , it's hard to buy a house these days, you're lucky. Did you get married recently?" Defne asked.

"So it's been a year, just last month," I said. Although we never really had a honeymoon period, I hadn't really felt like a newlywed, but oh well.

"It's so new, is marriage difficult?" Defne asked curiously. This girl also had a curious curiosity about finding a husband .

It's as if you're any different...

Anyway…

"Defne, don't intrude on the girl's privacy." Tülay was probably the most mature woman among them, given her age. She seemed a little cold from the outside, but I think there was another reason for this distance.

"Okay, sister, it wasn't a personal question, it was a very general one," she said. Defne definitely got along very well with Esra . Both of them were a little spoiled .

"Of course, there are difficult aspects, but marriage is beautiful. It's wonderful to have someone to share life's burdens with. Having a home, having a routine, working together to build and maintain that home with a man who loves you is so beautiful. I never feel lonely anymore. It's like being in the same house with your best friend." I was so engrossed in my conversation that I was only just realizing the observation I had made. This was actually my ideal marriage. It was so strange, as if I didn't know what I thought about marriage, and now I had learned it from these people. Defne and Pınar were looking at me admiringly, but Tülay's gaze was clouded. It was as if what I said had upset her. Was she having problems with her husband ?

"Oh, how wonderful. Honestly, this is the first time I've heard such nice things from someone talking about marriage," said Pınar, but then, as if she had said something wrong, she turned to Tülay anxiously .

"I'm sorry, sister, I didn't mean it like that," she said. There was definitely a big problem in this woman's marriage.

"What can you say to the truth? You didn't say anything wrong, don't worry," Tülay said. Then she turned to me and said...

"I have a somewhat troubled marriage, that's why. Unfortunately, the girls witnessed all this," she said. Since we had only just met, I didn't want to ask for details, but I also considered the possibility that there might be other married people her age in her circle.

"If you want to talk, I'll listen. Married people understand each other," I said. I mean, I had my own boundaries. For example, I couldn't stand someone feeling lonely . Loneliness was a very vulnerable thing. It was almost impossible to protect yourself from blows coming from anywhere at any moment. After a while, so many blows would leave wounds that you couldn't heal . Perhaps that's what had killed Tülay's cheerfulness. Tülay sent me a weary smile.

"I wasn't just talking about you, sister. Generally, anyone in the neighborhood complains about their husband. We've become disillusioned with men. I actually wanted to draw attention to that ," Pınar said, interrupting and feeling the need to explain herself. Actually, she wasn't wrong . She didn't count either.

"Yes, that's true, it's like men are such a burden ," Even after marriage, the woman carries the husband on her back, and they act as if they're obligated to do so. Just the other day, Necla sister was supposed to come over for tea . Necla sister is our upstairs neighbor, by the way. She said she'd be down in two minutes, but it was ten minutes and she wasn't back. My mother called to ask if something had happened to her. And guess what she said? Her husband was hungry, he said he gave her soup, and once she finished that , he'd bring some rice and come down. I was like, "Wow, that's too much!" Defne said. Whenever this girl spoke, the atmosphere really changed instantly. We all laughed at what she said. She was absolutely right; there really were marriages like that. The only reason was that women saw men as their bosses. Because they brought money home, they had to tolerate their husbands' arrogance and misery, just to avoid causing unrest in their homes, and thus they were forced to carry a marriage that got worse every day.

"Ah, that's exactly what I was talking about," Pinar said, supporting her.

"You're right, yes, before I met Aslan, I also viewed marriage somewhat like that, but after meeting him, all that vanished. Aslan isn't like the men we're used to. He doesn't think he needs me to live like a child, or that he absolutely must have a woman who serves him. He was always aware of the responsibilities of marriage and never forced them on me. Or he didn't act like he was doing me a favor. And that's the most important thing. Something forced on someone has no value. I guess that's why after we got married, I didn't see Aslan as a burden on my shoulders, or Aslan didn't treat me like I was a burden to him." As I got carried away like this, I was actually saying things I had realized in every sentence. Things I had never thought about before. Although, I didn't need to think about them. Aslan, or his role in our marriage, didn't matter. He was just the path to the goal. Now, as I was describing him like this, I realized how different Aslan was from the husbands I had always heard about. He wasn't a child I needed to manage. He was a real man. He was someone who knew his responsibilities and didn't shy away from them, nor did he have the arrogance of someone bestowing upon me things he should have been doing for me.

I could say he was a good husband just by looking at those things, of course, if I didn't know how unreliable Aslan was. Aslan might be able to handle the responsibility of a marriage without fear, but when it came to commitment, he suddenly became the most cowardly man in the world, and he wouldn't hesitate to hurt the other person out of fear. Every marriage has its own unique problems. If mine had been a real marriage, the fact that our relationship was entirely dependent on Aslan would have exhausted me long ago, and we would have divorced.

I guess all women, for one reason or another, start fighting with themselves to keep the men in their lives . Because, I guess, men can't manage to stay where they are on their own.

No matter how many good things I say about the people here I could smell the musty stench coming from our marriage. This might be the last game we played with Aslan.

"It's like we found a man like that and we didn't get married," Pınar said. Even though it was a brief moment of reflection, what I realized in my head were actually very significant.

Anyway.

I won't think about those things.

I smiled at Pınar and popped another stuffed grape leaf into my mouth. I'd forgotten to eat while chatting.

"Of course, Aslan has his bad habits, but I've learned how to handle them," I said jokingly. It wasn't exactly a lie; I could get him to do anything by nagging him endlessly. And rice pudding . He had a particular fondness for rice pudding, you wouldn't believe it.

"Teach us your tactics too, Selin," Defne said. Tülay smiled for the first time since I arrived.

"Teach him so he can try it on Murat, it'll be fun for us too," she said. I couldn't help but laugh at what she said. When we all laughed, Defne...

"Come on, sister, I'm not inviting that witchy girl of yours to my wedding," Triple said. She stood there like a little child, with her arms crossed in front of her.

"Oh look at that little brat, she didn't invite me. I wonder if you can manage without my daughter?" said Tülay. Since her spirits were slowly lifting, it meant she was starting to get used to me too.

"Ugh, I can't do it, what a sleepyhead you have, she just ca n't wake up," she said. She immediately gave in when her niece's name came up. She called her a witch or something, but it was clear she felt sorry for her niece.

"Mom." When we all turned to the door at the sound of the thin voice behind us, I was met with the cutest little girl I had ever seen. With her eyes fresh from sleep, her disheveled blonde hair, and her swollen face with a pillow mark on one side, she was so sweet that I involuntarily wanted to bite her. What beauty! As soon as Tülay saw her daughter, she opened her arms wide...

"Mommy, are you awake? Come here," she said to her daughter. Her daughter came over with tiny steps and immediately snuggled into her mother's arms. When she looked around and saw me, she immediately averted her eyes and snuggled even closer to her mother. Poor thing, she seemed shy around me.

"Mommy, look, this lady is your aunts' new neighbor." "Selin. Selin, this is my beautiful daughter, Güneş. My dear Güneş , would you like to say hello to her?" said Tülay, looking at her daughter on her chest. The girl gave me a shy glance, very frail...

"Hello," she said. When I heard that childlike tone in her voice, I wanted to pinch her cheeks. She couldn't possibly be that sweet.

"Hi, Güneş. Your mother talked about you so much, but I never believed her. Your hair really is like the sun," I said. I was good at talking to children, and they all liked me. When Sun heard what I said, she turned her gaze to my face and looked at me carefully for the first time.

"So it's hot?" she asked. Everyone at the table laughed at what she said.

"No, I meant she's shining like the sun," I said, laughing. When Güneş started giggling, I thought, "Okay, I've managed to make amends." While Güneş was giggling, she turned to her mother.

"Mom, did you hear? My hair is shining!" she said. It seemed the lady loved compliments.

"Yes, Mommy, I heard," said Tülayda.

"You didn't drool all over my bed, did you, sleepyhead?" Pınar asked. Hearing Pınar, Güneş's earlier princess-like demeanor vanished. With angry eyes, she sat up straight from her mother's lap.

"I peed in your bed," he said. Pınar immediately looked surprised.

"What?" she shouted. Defne and I were struggling to keep from laughing.

"Güneş ! " said Tülay, turning to her daughter. As soon as her mother turned to her, the wicked grin on Güneş's face vanished, and she quickly turned to her mother.

"No, no, Mom, I was just joking," she said. She really was a total witch, but a witch who was afraid of her mother. I'm definitely afraid of mine too…

What was I saying? Do n't be ridiculous .

As soon as her mother said nothing and averted her gaze, Güneş stuck her tongue out at Pınar. Pınar, being childish, stuck out her tongue too, and Tülay turned back to her daughter.

"Sun, what did I tell you?" she said in an authoritative voice.

"But Mom called me drool," Güneş immediately said, defending herself. Even I was nervous about Tülay's stare; what could the child do?

"Don't tease my little witch! Come here, Auntie." Defne intervened, saving the little girl from her sister's wrath. Seizing the opportunity, Güneş immediately climbed into her aunt's arms. As soon as Defne held Güneş, she showered her aunt with wet kisses on her cheeks.

"Where are you, my sunshine ? I'm so bored here without you," she said. Sun, tired of being kissed, tried to push Defne away with her hands.

"Auntie, move aside," she said. Defne stepped back.

"Ungrateful nephew, you couldn't find an aunt like me even if you searched," she said. I watched them with a warm smile on my face. The sun shone brightly, just like its name. It was almost impossible to look away from it.

"Auntie, look, I fell," she said, showing her aunt her knee. She pretended to have tears in her eyes. She was a really mean girl. Defne looked at the tiny wound as if the girl's leg had been severed.

" Oh , how did that happen?" she said. Güneş was pleased with the attention she received.

"We were playing house with the girls, Arda threw a ball at my head and I fell," she said, but I sensed a slight hint of deception in her words.

"Sun! What did I tell you about lying?" Tülay interrupted in her authoritative voice, and Sun immediately cowered in her place .

"What have you done again, you naughty Güneş?" said Pınar. Güneş shrugged . Nothing. She didn't say anything. When she stood there sulking, Tülay explained what had happened.

"When Arda threw the ball to where they were playing, my feisty daughter went and punched the kid," he said. He immediately stood up from where he was hiding in the sun.

"No, once he asked me why I was always there, if I didn't have a home. I hit him in the mouth, and then I fell while running home," she said. Güneş's words created a chilling atmosphere. Everyone, including Tülay, fell silent and couldn't say anything. At that point, I felt I was the one who should break the silence. I never liked tense situations.

"If you hit him, why did you run away?" I said, slightly mockingly. Güneş's eyes began to sparkle again.

"I didn't run away at all. My grandfather told me that if any boys bothered me, I should punch them in the mouth and then run to him. That's why I ran," she said. So this wasn't the first time. Tülay quickly snapped out of her reverie.

"Okay, I'll talk to Arda's mother, but it was wrong of you to hit him too. You're grounded for two days; I've changed your phone time to reading time," she said. Güneş immediately...

"Mom, but I didn't pick a fight," he said.

"So you got away with just two days, Miss Güneş," said Tülay. Güneş sighed, crossed her arms over her chest, and leaned back . Even like that, she was so cute. I don't think she deserved the punishment at all. What was she supposed to do, defend herself? I would have punched that kid too.

"Don't upset my little sunshine , sister. That boy deserves it." Defne hugged Güneş and kissed her hair.

"Couldn't you have just said, 'Do I need to ask your permission before coming to my grandfather 's house?'" I said involuntarily. Violence was a solution, of course, but if it was going to end in punishment, this girl needed to learn how to retort.

"Yes, exactly, you should hit them with your words, not your hands, then you won't get punished," Pınar said, supporting me.

"How could I hit anything ? Words don't hit anything, for goodness sake," he said innocently.

"I don't mean literally hitting. It's not just fists that hit people; sometimes words hit them with punches. Both..." "And there won't be any punishment at the end of it," I said.

"Look now. You're going to be adults. These kids aren't growing up, are you, Selin?" Tülay seemed annoyed, but I think she was actually pleased with the situation. After all, nobody wants their daughter to be bullied.

"What's so special about surviving on the streets? Men's strength, women's chatter. Don't you worry, Güneş, I'll teach you how to hit someone with words," I said, looking at Güneş.

"Then I can verbally beat Arda too," she said, giggling.

"Selin, were you such a mischievous girl too?" Pınar's question took me to a place I never liked going to. To my childhood, a childhood I never wanted to remember. This time, it was my turn to be quiet. Yes, I was a mischievous girl, but the reason for my mischief was self-protection. The reason I hit the children was to prevent the words they said from hurting me . Just like Güneş, I would beat up those who bullied me, but I didn't have a grandfather to run to. So, to avoid getting beaten, I learned to run very fast and climb trees like a monkey. As I got a little older, I couldn't even throw the first punch. The boys were much stronger than me, and I was an easy target for them to bully. Still, because I was an orphan, they feared the state; if the first move didn't come from me, they couldn't do anything. At that point, I learned that it wasn't brute strength but the power of the mouth that mattered. If you overpower someone with your fists, the damage you inflict is visible, and it never goes unpunished. There would certainly be a punishment, but the damage you inflicted on her with words wasn't visible, so there was no reason to punish her. It wasn't like that . Sometimes words could hurt more than fists, but there was no punishment. Discovering this shaped my life and character. Everyone who messed with me would stop bothering me after receiving their comeuppance. And of course, I taught them a lesson with little pranks. Like putting glue on their chairs, or stretching a rope across their path—everything I'd seen in movies. I was testing this thing on those who harassed me. The result was that I was no longer a safe target. I had made them see that I had thorns and that I wasn't afraid to stab them.

"Selin, what's wrong? You're lost in thought. Did I say something wrong?" Pınar's slightly worried voice brought me back to reality. I'd been dwelling on the past more often than before. Had my planets collided?

"No, it's not about you. I was mischievous too, but unfortunately I didn't have a grandfather I could run away from like Güneş," I said. I tried to change the subject with a slight smile, but it didn't seem to have worked. The girls still hadn't understood.

"I don't have a mother or father; I grew up in an orphanage." They finally got her to say it.

"I'm sorry , I didn't know," Pınar said with an embarrassed expression. That's why I didn't dwell on it too much, because I knew those looks by heart. Poor girl. How did she grow up all alone ?

"There's nothing to apologize for, dear. It doesn't affect me that much, don't get me wrong. I'm just a little emotional these days," I said. Something really had been going on with me lately .

"A new house, a new neighborhood, it's not easy, of course," Defne said. The real problem was something else entirely, but even if I explained it now, they wouldn't understand. I didn't even understand what I was in the middle of myself.

"Yes, probably," I said dismissively. Because I'd never been able to fully commit to anything in my life, new things didn't scare me much. A new house, a new neighborhood—I wasn't afraid of any of it. I'd moved around a lot growing up. I'd even lived in other cities. So, establishing a new routine wouldn't be difficult for me. After all, I wouldn't stay in that routine for very long. Just like I wouldn't stay in this neighborhood for very long either.

meet Aslan too ." Although Pınar's offer was very tempting, I had had enough of chatting with strangers for one day. Besides, I hadn't had a proper conversation with Aslan yet. We didn't have a story to tell people. I had managed well on my own, but with Aslan by my side, they would want to know more details, and we would have to tell the same thing. I couldn't take that risk right away.

"Thanks, Pınar, but let's do it another evening. This will be our first meal in our new house, it would be better if we were alone," I said. The thought of me having to cook upsets me because I wouldn't lift a finger for my husband who forced me to stay here. If he envied poverty so much, let him experience it to the fullest and see. Besides, I've already had enough to eat here. Our husband… He could take care of himself.

A wicked grin appeared on Defne's face.

"See, she's counting every minute she'll spend with her husband," she said. And I, without spoiling her act, responded in the same way.

"You'll understand when we get married," I said with a haughty tone. She raised her hands as if in prayer.

"Oh God, please grant this woman a husband who understands her. If possible, you know his name. Amen," she said. We all laughed at her gesture, but I didn't say amen. I couldn't bring myself to condemn her.

"Amen amen, get married" "Just you wait and see," said Tülayda. The woman had reached a point where she could even make jokes about it.

"Mom, can I go outside? I'm so bored," Güneş asked, looking sadly at her mother from her aunt's lap. Tülay clearly wanted to say no, but it was hard to resist Güneş's sweetness.

"It's okay to go out, but watch out for Güneş…" Before Tülay could finish her sentence

"Okay, okay, I won't hit anyone," Güneş interjected.

"Okay, we'll see," Tülay said. Her tone was slightly threatening, and I'm sure Güneş understood immediately, but without dwelling on it, she got down from Defne's lap and went inside. Once she was gone, Defne turned to her sister and...

"I'll talk to Arda's mother too. We've warned her so many times, but she can't teach her son any manners," he said.

"The child isn't to blame either; the woman can't even look after her child because of all the gossip. The child will just repeat what she heard." It seems Pınar's words revealed that Tülay's marital problems weren't as private as I thought. I didn't want to know, but I have my own desires, after all.

"What's so special about you coming here that's become such a topic of conversation?" I said, unable to control myself. What could I do? I was curious. Tülay thought for a while about how to respond.

"We're usually here every holiday. I used to come here constantly when I first got married too. As soon as you give people something to talk about, they spread gossip. At first, people were saying things like, 'What's a newly married girl doing at her father's house so much? She must not get along with her husband,' and those rumors still continue. The worst part is, they're not entirely wrong, so I can't really blame them." She said, her shoulders slumping in the last sentence. I could sense how cornered she was.

"There's a reason we hang curtains on our windows. If everyone had to see what was going on inside, we'd live with the windows open, wouldn't we? Just as a stranger who enters someone's house without permission is guilty, those who stick their noses into someone else's house trying to find out what's going on are equally guilty. Nobody has a perfect marriage. Everyone has problems. Just as you respect other people's marriages and don't meddle in anyone's affairs, so too do you…" "They have no right to meddle in your marriage. It doesn't matter whether they're right or wrong," I said. Every marriage has its own problems. For example, our marriage was against the logic of marriage from the start. I wasn't the ideal wife, and I hadn't married Aslan because he was the ideal husband. All marriages had one thing in common; they were flawed. Every marriage had its own flaws, but that didn't mean someone could come and expose my flaws to everyone.

"Exactly. Whatever happens should stay between you and my brother-in-law. Besides, all the problems arise because there aren't just two people in the marriage." From Defne's slightly irritated tone, I understood that her brother-in-law's family was also involved in the problem.

"I wish it could be as you say. Anyway, let's leave these unpleasant things behind. It's getting late, let's go. My father will be closing the shop soon." She said and stood up. Honestly, I felt sorry for her, but what could I do? Unfortunately, this wasn't something I could solve.

"I'll get up too, Aslan will be here soon. I left the house as it was and came here," I said and stood up. Pınar also got up, turned to me and...

"Wait, I'll get you something from the kitchen." "I'll sort things out now, the house is a mess, don't bother again," he said.

"No, it's not necessary, don't bother," I said, but purely out of politeness. I had eaten an amazing pastry that evening and would definitely have another one.

"Oh, don't be silly," she said, and we all went inside. The aunts were watching television and chatting in the living room. When Pınar 's mother saw me…

"Come, my dear, sit down," she said with all her sweetness. Without going too far inside...

"No, I should leave now, Aslan will be here soon," I said. Wanting to be home before my husband as a good wife would earn me extra points in their eyes.

"We didn't understand the time at all. Go ahead, my dear, don't let your husband get angry," said Defne's mother. My eyebrows furrowed. Who was Aslan to get angry at me, excuse me?

"Why would she be angry?" I said involuntarily.

"You don't enter the house after the husband leaves. Men want to see their wives at home. Did you have any food?" she said. She said it so casually that I was at a loss for words. Was she joking?

"You think everyone is your husband. Don't mind him, my dear, his husband is a bit grumpy. Don't cook anything now, let Pınar make you a plate from the kitchen." If Pınar's mother hadn't intervened, I might have started a small argument. It was clear I wouldn't like this woman at all. Anyway, I shouldn't start a fight on my first day as a guest in this house.

"She was already doing it, she was in the kitchen," I said. In two minutes, that woman had completely ruined my mood. Tülay came in behind me, put her hand on my back, and looked at me apologetically. It always angered me that someone was embarrassed by another person's mistakes. What had this poor girl done wrong? To reassure her, I smiled , closed and opened my eyes. My problem was with her mother, not her, and I would certainly get my revenge for this moment. A little later, Pınar came in with two deep bowls.

"Here, you two will have plenty," she said, handing me the containers. There was so much food here, I couldn't possibly eat it all by myself. And I didn't feel like giving any to Aslan either. Oh well, I'd figure something out. I simply thanked her, said goodbye to everyone, and went home. When would Aslan arrive? Should I give him a piece of pastry?

Don't be ridiculous, girl, if she chose poverty herself, let her see what it's like.

That's right. He should have seen that things weren't as rosy as he thought. He'd probably arrive exhausted, and having to cook on top of that would surely annoy him and put an end to this pointless game. It wasn't a very elaborate plan, perhaps, but it was realistic. I knew it from experience.

Anyway…

After hiding the things I was holding in a cupboard in the kitchen, I went to the living room and sat on the sofa. Luckily , my husband was a comfort-loving person. All the furniture in the house was excessively comfortable. I sprawled on the sofa and watched television, my butt aching, so I checked the time. I had wasted a lot of time and was bored. What was I going to do all day at home? I sighed and started staring at the ceiling. I used to die to be able to stay home all day like this . Every morning I had to leave the house before the sun even rose. Getting out of my warm bed felt like death. For some reason, I always felt colder when I got up early in the morning. The house wasn't exactly warm, of course, but even after marrying Aslan, I felt just as cold when I had to get up early in the morning. On those days, I would think, "I wish I could stay home all day." I wish I could lie down until my butt ached instead of standing until my feet ached . Although, even after marrying Aslan, I hadn't been able to do that. There were so many things I wanted to do, and every day I would be outside , sometimes alone, sometimes with the lion, trying to do them . Checking one more item off my list gave me pleasure.

I was just staring at the ceiling when the phone rang. I reached for it on the table and picked it up. It was that spineless, two-faced Selim calling. Can you believe how audacious he is ? He'd taken everything from me and now he's calling me. I answered the phone...

"You are the most two-faced and treacherous person I have ever seen in my life..."

"Hey, slow down, auntie." I would have said so much more if she hadn't interrupted me.

"Auntie? What auntie? If I were your aunt, you wouldn't have betrayed me like this. You deceived me right to my face , " I said.

"Of course you're my sister-in-law. I know you're angry, but don't worry, I'll make it up to you," she said. Knowing she was wrong, her voice was as soft as it could be. I leaned back in the chair and tucked my feet under my bottom .

"Don't bother, I have no intention of forgiving you," I said.

to take my brother's place, Selin? Am I that spineless? I was deceived too. I'm a victim as well. My brother..." "He just waved the thing at me and left," he said.

"Look at the victim. A million-dollar victim. I'm almost in tears at his situation." If he weren't so shameless, he'd say he's in a worse situation than you.

" It was so easy, wasn't it? Do you know how many things I have to decide on at the same time, how many places I have to be at the same time? This is my hundredth phone call since this morning, and on top of that, I started the day with Uncle Semih." Now I was starting to feel a little sorry for him. Uncle Semih would get really angry. Even my mother-in-law would avoid him.

"Oh, you deserved it. Let it be my debt during a hurricane," I said. I heard her low chuckle and

"Well, you can make me a coffee at your new house now, and I'll eat my hurricane there too," he said. I smiled involuntarily, but then quickly composed myself. I shouldn't let him get away with it.

"We'll see about that , " I said. After a short silence ...

"Selin, look, I know you think this is a disaster, but it's not. In fact, it's an opportunity," he said. He wasn't teasing me anymore, or trying to lighten the mood. His seriousness brought back the unease I'd been trying to ignore. No one knew about my suspicions regarding Aslan because I hadn't told anyone what we'd been through. That's why I was acting spoiled, even selfish, outwardly . Maybe they would understand if I told them, but what difference would it make if the whole world agreed with me if the person who really needed to understand didn't ? 

"How long have you known?" was all I could manage to say. Like everyone else, we had put on an act in front of Selim, and we were good at it. He wouldn't have known the truth if Aslan hadn't told him.

"For a month," he said. So Aslan had been planning this for a month?

"It's not what you think, don't start dwelling on it. Remember when you and my brother had a fight after Uncle Semih's birthday party a month ago?" she interrupted. What happened that day couldn't be called a fight. It wasn't that simple for me. It was all about the gift I bought for Uncle Semih. One day, I was waiting in his office for him and Aslan to finish their meeting. I saw a single cufflink on the desk. Thinking maybe one had fallen off, I looked around, and when Uncle Semih entered the room, he asked me what I was doing. When I said I was looking for the cufflink, he said he'd lost the other one years ago. For the first time, I saw a sparkle in his eyes as he said it . Thinking it had sentimental value, I had a custom-made pair of the same cufflinks made for him, but as soon as Uncle Semih opened the box, he froze. Not just him, but Aslan and his mother froze too. Before I could understand what was happening, my mother-in-law immediately intervened and took the box from Uncle Semih. Without even knowing what I had caused, as soon as the party ended, first his mother went crazy, then Aslan started scolding me about not forgetting my place. I have no idea how a cufflink could have caused such a fuss, but what Aslan told me is still ringing in my ears as if it were yesterday;

" The man you need to please is n't my father."

Even if I died, I could never forget what he said. There hadn't been enough money printed yet to allow me to decipher the vile implication underlying that sentence. That day was the first time I'd ever hit Aslan. Along with the sound of my slap , a truth about Aslan echoed in my mind.

He would never see me as anything more than a prostitute.

Again But I couldn't leave him. It wasn't for the money . I had come to Aslan having burned my entire past. I had neither a home nor anyone to go to. I just thought then that it wasn't worth leaving myself so desperate for money. Then I immediately dismissed that thought. Aslan didn't deserve anything more than a whore. He didn't deserve anything more than a heartless bitch who always smiled at him. And that's how I treated him.

"It would have been better if you hadn't reminded me," I said. What little morale I had left was gone too.

"That night, whatever you did, I saw my brother drinking for the first time. He was completely drunk, cursing himself while talking to me about this agreement between you two. By the way, just so you know, I always defended you," he said with a weary smile.

"Thanks, you're welcome," I said.

"He regretted what he said to you after that day. And then he made this plan," she said. I didn't care a bit about his regret. He had upset me countless times when I was about to believe him. I was tired of hitting an increasingly harder wall each time, and the last one was the worst; I wouldn't take the same blow again, but since he regretted it and was doing all this partly out of guilt, he would have to endure whatever I did.

"It wasn't a good idea for you to tell me this. No matter what I do, he won't be able to say a word. I'm going to get my hands on your brother," I said. I felt a little better.

"Think of it as an apology. Are we reconciled?" he said. It was very difficult to stay mad at that.

"We didn't reconcile, but I liked the path you took, keep going," I said. I would have used that apology more often. I didn't need to forgive immediately .

"Don't get too used to it, brother, or you'll break my head," he said.

"Listen, don't piss me off, or I'll tell my husband, and then he'll really beat you," I said, half-jokingly. It's a separate matter that he would have beaten me if I had told him, but I wouldn't have.

"See, when my husband calls me a country bumpkin, deny it. Though my brother isn't any different; who would leave a multi-million dollar fortune to seduce their wife?" she said. Now, thinking about it, it might seem that way, and it was incredibly impactful, but I'd just learned she felt guilty. So, the details were ruining the whole picture .

"Don't interfere in our relationship. You said you were so busy, and you've been chattering away with me for two hours. Come on, brother, don't hold me back, my husband is coming." I said. Even though I was angry at him and wanted to smash his head in, talking to Selim had made me feel better. It was strange, actually; ever since this situation Aslan had dragged us into started to come to light, the people around me had started to seem more sincere. First Esra, then Selim. Maybe our relationship wasn't that bad, but knowing that his listening to Aslan wouldn't surprise me, I wasn't expecting him to call me to apologize. I couldn't have guessed he would care about what I thought. Still, it was necessary to be cautious. You never know what might happen later.

"You reminded me, and it ruined my mood. A room full of guys are waiting for me. Hang up," she said and slammed the door in my face. I couldn't feel any pity, honestly, serves her right. They would understand my husband's value. Semih Baba would go crazy without Aslan. Even if I couldn't intimidate Aslan, Semih Baba would put an end to this nonsense at some point anyway. It was impossible for him to endure it for 3 months. As I put the phone on the table in the middle of the room, the doorbell rang. It was almost seven o'clock. It must be Aslan. Let me wait a little longer so he can get angry at the door. When the doorbell rang for the third time, I didn't wait any longer and got up. No, I was sure he had a key, but I was stubborn, I had to open the door myself. When I opened the door, I didn't find the angry and tired man I expected at all. He was standing straight as a pole, thank goodness. As he entered the door...

To be countinue part 2...