Eastern Fantasy: My Twin Sugar Mommies and Cheats are 100 Years Late! Chapter 3.
One moment, Dou E was wondering what storybook could move a centenarian so deeply; the next, she witnessed the old man jump to his feet and begin raining down curses like a street thug from the countryside. Yan Anle berated the Bliss Palace Lord System so vehemently that he actually forgot to breathe. While his reaction was certainly theatrical, it wasn't entirely without merit.
Seriously? How did the genre suddenly shift to "Senior Citizen Romance"?
System: "My Lord, is there a problem with this task?"
"What do you mean, 'is there a problem'?" Yan Anle snapped aloud, forgetting to use his inner voice. "Tell me, what part of this quest isn't problematic? Forget the fact that I don't see her that way—look at me! I look like I should have a few great-grandchildren already! How do you think she'll react?!"
Dou E, hearing the entirety of his outburst, was startled. Who is the Young Master talking to? There is no one else here! This… oh no!
She lunged to her feet and grabbed his wrist. "Young Master, what is wrong? Who are you speaking to?"
Yan Anle turned to her, realizing his slip-up. He felt a wave of awkwardness wash over him, his mind racing for a lie to cover his tracks. But as he opened his mouth, all that emerged was a pained groan. "Ugh…!"
"Dou E… h-hand…" he struggled to say. "You're go-going to break i-it."
"Ah!" The green-robed lady immediately recoiled, releasing his wrist, which had already turned a bruised, swollen red due to her rare lapse in restraint. Even without channeling Spiritual Qi, cultivators' bodies possessed more strength than mortals'. Her concern for his physical injury instantly eclipsed her fear for his psychological state. She spun around and bolted toward the house. "Wait a moment, Young Master! Let me get the medicine!"
Her speed was beyond the comprehension of ordinary humans. In the span of a single blink, she had vanished from his sight.
Sighing deeply, Yan Anle cradled his throbbing left wrist and winced. "It's been so long since I was last injured." He turned his attention back to the system. "It's all because of you, damn thing! What kind of system are you, anyway? Do you even speak a human language? How can you, with a clear conscience, ask me to do such things? Paving a path to immortality by deceiving women? How can anyone form a formidable Dao Heart after that? Or… are you a system of the Demonic Path?"
The system's response came shortly after, its tone losing some of its previous subservience.
System: "What is so Demonic about it? You aren't actually going to harm them. My Lord, I suggest you remove that 'good person' cap and look in a mirror. You are a centenarian mortal whom your own family has abandoned and forgotten. There are many out there who would massacre entire cities—hell, entire continents—if offered the chance I am presenting to you. Why make a mountain out of a molehill?"
"You…!" Yan Anle started, but the words died on his tongue.
Deep down, he knew the system was right. He had misjudged Dou E as a kindhearted girl, but that was because he was blinded by their history. It was like a parent who refuses to believe their "perfect" child could be up to no good. In this world, where immortality was a tangible reality, people would do the unthinkable to grasp it.
He felt as though he were standing on a crumbling fence. How was he supposed to choose?
Just then, a voice like that of a ten-year-old girl echoed in his mind.
"Ping! Congratulations, Host! Guardian Sect System coming online…!"
Accompanying the voice was a second status window. This one was rectangular and black, with a light-blue percentage counter. Within moments, the counter surged past 40%.
"This is… another system?" Yan Anle was floored.
What was happening tonight? He had waited over a century without a single "golden finger," and now two were knocking at once? Alas, he had underestimated the Transmigration Goddess. Before he could process the second system, a chorus of voices began to echo in his mind—different ages, genders, and walks of life.
"Suitable Candidate located: Ancient Poison Star God Academy binding…" "Honest Transmigrator detected: Immortal Wages System activating…" "Unwed Transmigrator found: Joyous Union Emperor System downloading…" "Promising User detected: Immortal Clan System descending..."
Yan Anle clutched his chest, feeling his heart might actually give out. He staggered, counting the translucent screens flickering before him.
"Seven, eight, nine, ten… eleven!"
Ten more systems had joined the fray. Others got golden fingers; he got two golden hands with an extra finger for good measure! Once he managed to steady himself, he muttered, "This must be how ordinary guys feel when they win the lottery—suddenly, every woman and their best friend's cousin's daughter is flocking to their inbox like stray cats to catnip."
The Bliss Palace Lord System was also thrown for a loop. "What… what is this situation? What are you all doing here?!"
The red-screened Myriad Worlds Auction House spoke with the seductive voice of a mature woman. "There was actually a system that got here ahead of us? This..."
The Immortal Wages System, white-screened with black text and a teenage boy's voice, chimed in. "Perhaps he just happened to be roaming a nearby Star Sea when Lord Green Tea posted the notice?"
The Joyous Union Emperor System, red-screened with a valiant man's voice, added, "Bliss Palace Lord? Why does that name sound so familiar?"
The Immortal Clan System, appearing in blue text, chuckled with a young lady's voice. "Hehe. Joyous Union, I think you're recalling those fellows from the Lust Palace Sky. This one must be one of the cockroaches that slipped through the cracks back then."
"Damn it! It's actually one of those disreputable fellows!" Joyous Union Emperor hissed. "How dare you show your face here? How dare you target someone noted by Lord Green Tea? Are you worthy? See how I destroy you tonight!"
The commotion of eleven systems colliding caused Yan Anle's mind to buzz as if it were about to implode. Blood began to trickle from his nostrils and eyes.
The Life God Divine Domain, sounding like a mature young lady, intervened. "Enough! All of you, stop! Our Host will perish if you continue this chaos!"
One of the systems muttered, "This… Apologies, Host. As compensation, please accept this Nine Pools Soul-Returning Pill."
A pill bottle containing a gray pill with pulsing green patterns appeared in the air. Yan Anle reflexively raised his undamaged hand to grasp it. After uncorking it, he was amazed; just a whiff of it made him feel ten years younger!
Not to be outdone, the other systems began shoving items into his hands like hawkers who had found a big spender.
"Those are First-grade Pills, too potent for him! How inconsiderate! Dear Host, here is a bottle of Sixth-grade Dragon Soul Pills!"
"Host, here is a vial of water from a waterfall irradiated by the Five-Colored Divine Light…"
"Host…" "User…" "Candidate…"
Just when Yan Anle was about to scream, a twelfth voice—booming and authoritative—echoed in his head.
"You lot! Shut up for this Overseer!"