The Genealogy I
To summarize my story at this point: I am the one who provided full support for Dang Seo-rin to rise as the strongest idol in the Korean Peninsula; I am the one who founded the National Road Management Corps, monopolizing the roads and controlling logistics; I am the one who created SG Net, seizing the power of public opinion and information; I am the one who debuted the constellation called 'The Librarian of the Great Library'; I am also the one who established the Library Society as a front organization—yes, that was me as well.
By now, some of you readers might think of me as an 'infinitely omnipotent mastermind' and even become my followers.
But that's a misunderstanding. As I have repeatedly said, my story is closer to a tale of failures than of successes. Naturally, I made a lot of colossal mistakes.
Shall I introduce one of the memorable episodes among those countless blunders?
Whhooosh!
Now, everyone.
It might be a bit abrupt, but do you like 'The Lord of the Rings'?
By 'The Lord of the Rings,' I mean the trilogy directed by Peter Jackson, not the original novels written by Tolkien.
Of the trilogy, my favorite is, of course, the final installment, 'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King' (2003).
Among its scenes, the one where the cavalry of the human kingdom charges at the orcs—the so-called 'Charge of the Rohirrim'—is my top pick.
In the movie, there is a scene where humans and orcs brace themselves for the clash.
"Form ranks, maggots. Form ranks! Pikes in front! Archers behind!"
"Advance! And fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Thé□den!"
"To death!"
"Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise, arise, Riders of Th□□den!"
Ah, the parts marked with '□' are to respect the fearsome copyright of the Tolkien Estate. Even though I, the Undertaker, appear this way, I strictly adhere to copyright laws.
Anyway, as the cavalry finally begins their charge, a horn resounds across the Pelennor Fields with a mighty Wwwooooosh.
Oh boy, truly, onomatopoeia is already difficult to express, but capturing the sound of that horn with mere letters is utterly impossible.
With the crude combination of letters 'Wwoooosh,' I can't even convey 0.01% of that magnificent sound effect.
I was able to watch the movie only after the hype had long passed. Before I started my life as a regressor, I didn't have much interest in cultural activities in general.
But then.
"Wh-What on earth... Guild leader... You haven't seen 'The Lord of the Rings'? I-I don't get it. What I mean is, why do you even live? Why do you unnecessarily continue your life...?"
After receiving this scolding from Sim Ah-ryeon, I somehow managed to obtain a Blu-ray and watched it in my home theater.
Wwwoooosh!
And then... I got hooked.
You could say I finally opened my eyes to what cavalry ecstasy is. When the cavalry's hooves mercilessly trampled the orcs, my heart was also trampled at the same time.
It was the 380th run.
This incident happened during another 'vacation cycle.'
"Cavalry."
"...Yes?"
"Let's cultivate a cavalry unit."
The conference room fell silent for a moment.
Thunk. At that moment, Noh Do-hwa, the National Road Management Corps commander (this person drinks any kind of coffee without regard to the beans or type, just whatever is given) set down her café mocha as her lips were unsealed.
"What nonsense are you talking about...?"
"I'm talking about raising a cavalry unit. In a world where neither cars nor motorcycles run anymore, how long are we going to cling to outdated vehicles? Isn't it time we urgently needed a new mode of transportation that can operate without gasoline, just by grazing on weeds?"
"If anything, horses seem much more outdated than cars...?"
"Times change according to the environment."
By the way, when I advocated for something within the Regressor Alliance, I never just spoke. I distributed prepared audiovisual and statistical materials.
"As you can see, thanks to the growth of the National Road Management Corps, logistics movement between cities and guilds is becoming more active. However, the amount of fuel reserves in each city is rapidly depleting. In the end, it's clear that all reserves will be exhausted within two years. Noh Do-hwa, leader of the National Road Management Corps, we must start preparing countermeasures now."
"If my memory serves correctly, there was a plan recently proposed by you, Undertaker, to use Gremlins to move cars...?"
"Gremlins are anomalies. No matter how carefully you handle them, accidents can always happen. So we need to have a Plan B ready to switch policies anytime."
"That's strange. What you're saying seems reasonable, but why does your expression look so...?"
It's because Buddha sees only Buddha, and Noh Do-hwa sees only Noh Do-hwa in her eyes.
"Well. I acknowledge that as a Plan B, it's somewhat plausible, but even if it's a cavalry unit, how do you plan to raise horses...? We don't have the luxury to expand pastures now..."
"It's okay. I'm not planning to ask the busy Sword Marquess to tread on weed fields either."
"...? Then how do you plan to raise the horses?"
Noh Do-hwa's puzzled look was a legitimate reaction. In a world covered by void, even wild greens that look normal on the outside can cause serious problems if consumed recklessly.
If you eat just anything? Whether human, animal, or plant, any organism can experience the miracle of its genes changing in real-time.
Experiencing white hair growing on the scalp and then suddenly sprouting teeth instead of hair was indeed a unique experience. If Darwin and Lamarck were reborn in this era, they would've reluctantly admitted, 'Well, this isn't exactly what I intended...' and showed reluctance.
"Do-hwa, we need to break away from the fixed idea of horses."
"Yes? ...Ah, wait. Wait a moment. That academic nonsense feeling you give off is starting to creep in..."
"What is a horse? What is the essence, the idea of a horse? Isn't it an animal that humans can ride and gallop on?"
"Goddamn it."
"I don't simply want a replica of a horse. I want a true horse. A horse that humanity has never seen before—a true horse itself. One that doesn't fear the enemy's pike formation, with explosive acceleration and long-term endurance, capable of carrying heavy loads, gentle and kind but only to me, ruthless to the enemy, doesn't poop much, and eats just anything."
"Goddamn it..."
"And I plan to use the void to create this horse. How about it? Isn't my plan perfect? Doesn't it make your heart race?"
"Yes, it makes my heart race. Because of the angina you've caused. I can't sue you since the Medical Dispute Mediation and Arbitration Agency is gone... Uh. Excuse me, Saintess? Can you please stop this man...?"
At that moment, the Saintess, who had been quietly sipping her coffee, opened her lips. With a blank expression.
"Last week, Mr. Undertaker asked me if it wouldn't be cool to have a moving steampunk mobile fortress like in 'Howl's Moving Castle'."
"..."
"Compared to a steampunk mobile fortress, the idea of a true horse is relatively more acceptable. Ms. Do-hwa, I advise you to give up."
A long sigh echoed through the conference room.
"Goddamn it..."
I took that as a sign of 'This business plan is great, let's proceed quickly.'
Starting the very next day, I set up a horse ranch in the plains around Daesan-myeon, north of Changwon, South Gyeongsang Province.
"The modern trend is to return to farming... no, to ranching."
Wearing a straw hat, I looked down at the plains. It was a splendid piece of land I had chosen.
With Joonam Reservoir nearby, the environment was perfect for use as a pasture. The location was also excellent. The National Road Management Corps and Samcheon World's headquarters were just a stone's throw away in Busan.
'After traveling all around the country during my regression, I now have an eye for land that can rival even Master Mu-hak.'
I couldn't help but feel proud.
Originally used mainly for farmland before the civilization collapsed, now mostly abandoned by residents, the area was overtaken by weeds and wild trees.
Of course, the genetics and biology of this era were so advanced that the weeds and wild trees were officially categorized under 'anomalies.'
Gobble Gobble.
Slime Slime.
There were two main types of anomalies inhabiting the Daesan-myeon area.
One looked like a goblin but had a body made of liquid slime called 'Slogoblin,' and the other looked like a slime but had goblin skin called 'Goblime.' Both had a village-class danger rating according to the Library Society's classification system.
I had no idea how such hybrids came to be, so don't bother asking. Maybe, um, one day Goblin A found the slime's backside attractive... or maybe Slime B found comfort in a goblin's butthole. Either way, the result was equally vile.
Gobbble!
Slaaaime!
Without a moment's hesitation, I wiped out both rare species within two days. After the apocalypse, the term 'biodiversity' was removed from dictionaries worldwide, so it was a legal act.
While wandering around Changwon, I also cleaned up the wild trees with my aura.
Neigh! Neigh!
Next was the perfectly legal and peaceful relocation operation. I went to Jeju Island, caught the horses grazing on the grasslands, and loaded them onto the ships.
Then I rowed back and forth between the mainland and Jeju Island.
Fuel? That's a luxury.
'We don't even have a liter of oil to support your reality edition of Animal Crossing...' declared Noh Do-hwa as she handed me exactly 500ml of black oil in a beaker.
But who am I, the Undertaker? Using an aura-coated oar, I managed to ferry over 200 horses over fifteen days.
Not only that, but I also crossed over to Japan, negotiated with the Magical Girl Association, and brought back four high-quality racehorses. They readily agreed since we had done several projects together.
Of course, the Magical Girl Association didn't provide a boat, so I had to row my way across the East Sea with my bare hands—or rather, an oar.
[Why on earth do you go to such lengths...], the Saintess's murmurs occasionally reached my ears, but I ignored them.
While I respect the Saintess, after much persuasion, I finally got her to read Romance of the Three Kingdoms last week. But after finishing it, her comment was:
'...In the end, Sima Yi won, so it's a story with neither lesson nor value, isn't it?'
Unbelievable. Not a fan of Shu (loyalists), nor Wei (traditionalists), nor even the lunatic faction of Wu—she liked Jin? Is she really the same species as me? The Saintess does not understand the human heart.
[No, I'm not saying I like the Sima family, just that the story's conclusion was... It's nothing. I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please continue raising the horses.]
Hmph.
With the love and support of a regressor, and most importantly, the genetic mutations from the void, the horses grew healthily.
If the world were normal, it would take at least 2-3 years for horses to mate, give birth, and grow from foals to adults. But what kind of world is ours? It's a world where Newton's concepts of absolute space and absolute time induce seizures and convulsions.
Thanks to the world-class mental illness, at my ranch (I named it 'Idea Ranch'), foals grew into adults overnight.
Of course, that was an extreme case, and generally, growth was erratic over half a year.
Neigh! Neigh!
Grrr...
Under my care, the horses learned the mysteries of evolution. I named all these tasks 'genealogy work'... or simply 'gene work.'
Towards a stronger horse!
Towards a faster horse!
Towards the best horse!
In some sense, evolution was similar to the regressor's life of filtering out the optimal path. So, could I, the Undertaker, be called an expert in gene work?
And so, half a year later.
"You mean there's already a result...?"
"Yes, Do-hwa, I formally invite you to my [Idea Ranch] for inspection and a tour."
"Wow. I haven't been this reluctant to accept an invitation in a long time..."
"But this is the Plan B we submitted at the Alliance meeting. As the meeting chairperson, you should verify it, right? Also, it's not good to stay in Busan all the time. People need to get out once in a while."
"..."
"You're coming, right?"
"..."
I had even prepared a safari truck for the occasion.
I invited not only Noh Do-hwa but also Seo Gyu and Sim Ah-ryeon, among our guild members. They would feel left out if I played without them.
"Ah...! Guild leader, you always boast about the ranch, so I've been dying to see it! Can I draw it and post it on SG Net...?"
"Hyung, you keep singing about the Peach Blossom Spring and the Utopian Ideal, so I'm curious too. Since it's a ranch you made, it must be extraordinary, right?"
Ah-ryeon and Seo Gyu excitedly chatted in the backseat of the safari truck.
In the apocalyptic era, there were few entertainments. Humanity regained the virtue of being delighted with each invitation like this.
On the other hand, Noh Do-hwa, sitting in the passenger seat, had a face that looked as if she were going to a funeral.
As soon as she got into the truck, she buckled her seatbelt and whispered to me quietly.
"Undertaker..."
"Yes?"
"Why isn't the Saintess here...?"
"Oh, I invited her, but unfortunately, she caught a cold. So, she said she'd come next time."
"..."
Noh Do-hwa's face turned a bit paler.
I put a cassette tape into the fairly old safari truck and played some music. The backseat got lively with the driver's excellent music selection.
"Then, let's start the first safari tour of the Undertaker's Idea Ranch, the first public opening."
"Wow, wow..."
"Woooo!"
Vroom!
The safari truck roared, belching out exhaust. I also honked energetically, and the horn, set to sound like a bugle, blared out.
Wwwooooosh!
Perfect.
As the horn, which once resounded across the continent for humanity's last stand, echoed magnificently again, Noh Do-hwa's murmured quietly, at a volume only I could hear, drifted from the passenger seat.
"God damn it..."
-x-X-x-
The Genealogy II
Noh Do-hwa's ominous muttering had no effect on our safari adventure.
Even Sim Ah-ryeon and Seo Gyu, who were not easily excited, were noisily chatting in the back seat. It must have helped that I had prepared factory-made potato chips and chocolate snacks for this day.
"This is my first time being invited somewhere and playing with others..."
"This is also the first time my hyung has invited me somewhere, so I'm really looking forward to it."
"As expected of the Busan Station fam... The bond is incomparable to other losers...!"
I smiled contentedly and turned the steering wheel. Today, I, the Undertaker, was guiding them not as a guild leader but as a humble guide.
"From here, it is the entrance to Idea Ranch. Welcome, everyone."
"Wow! Ah? Ahhh...?"
Sim Ah-ryeon's cheer, as she looked at the ranch through the window, peaked like a soprano and gradually descended.
"Uh... Guild leader...?"
"What's the matter?"
"Why does the horse ranch have... um, a ten-meter-high barbed wire fence and concrete walls?"
"Hmm."
I nodded.
"Certainly, it's not a very visually appealing outdoor decoration."
"Yes, yes. It's a bit scary, or to be more honest, it's almost hideous..."
"I agree."
I pressed the remote control button.
With a rumbling sound, the heavy gate sealing the safari theme park slowly opened.
"But Ah-ryeon, the appearance of something is just a secondary attribute, not its essence."
"Y-Yes...?"
"Think about it. Ranches naturally have fences. It's only natural because the animals should not escape. Our Idea Ranch has just made the fence a little more sturdy. The essence of the ranch hasn't changed at all. Understand?"
"Eh..."
The tires of my safari truck rolled gracefully through the open gate.
"By the way, it's fine to keep the windows open, but don't stick your head out. It could be dangerous while driving."
"Ah, yes. Yes..."
As soon as Sim Ah-ryeon pulled her upper body back inside the car, I pressed the remote control button again.
With a clattering sound, metal bars rose from the window frames, protecting the windows. "Hic," Sim Ah-ryeon flinched.
"Guild leader? The iron bars on the windows, why did they suddenly...?"
"Well, I made some modifications to the truck for the safari. How is it? Isn't it awesome? Your guild leader has many talents."
"It's amazing, really. But, why is such amazingness necessary...?"
"..."
By this point, Seo Gyu also fell silent like Noh Do-hwa. Looking through the rearview mirror, I saw that his manly face was starting to sweat.
"Of course, it's to thoroughly ensure the safety of our precious tourists, isn't it?"
"No, what I mean is, why is safety necessary for just a casual look around the ranch..."
"Ah-ryeon."
Seo Gyu spoke solemnly.
"Y-yes?"
"Put on your seatbelt."
"Ugh. I hate wearing a seatbelt because it's uncomfortable and makes me feel suffocated..."
Then it happened.
Heeeeyaaa!
"Eeeeek?"
Simultaneously with the cute neigh from outside the car, Sim Ah-ryeon screamed inside.
"Ah. Everyone, please turn your gaze to the 2 o'clock direction. Can you see? This is our proud first horse from Idea Ranch, Kkingkki."
"A horse...?"
Noh Do-hwa looked out through the metal bars with cold eyes.
"Is that a horse...?"
The horse was warily eyeing our safari truck.
A sign that originally read 'Kkingkki' was hung around its neck, but it had broken it again, so only 'Kki■ki' was legible. Really, it was quite a troublemaker.
Of course, having been raised in the void, it looked somewhat different from an ordinary horse. That is, its appearance, a secondary attribute, not an essential quality, showed a slight difference.
For example, unlike other horses, Kkingkki could walk on two legs. Not like a human's upright posture, but hunched over.
Anyway, it was still a horse.
Its skin color was not brown, black, or white, but a somewhat greenish hue, likely an adaptation to the weed-filled plains of Daesan-myeon.
And... well, its teeth were sharp. But horses originally have well-developed teeth. Kkingkki had simply undergone a bit of convergent evolution.
Anyway, it was still a horse.
Finally, its hooves, in other words, its nails and claws, had also become slightly sharper. But considering that hooves are originally part of a horse's body, this was a minor change.
After surveying all these attributes, Noh Do-hwa muttered bleakly.
"That's... a dinosaur..."
At that moment, Kkingkki opened its mouth.
Heeeeyaaa!
Well. From the bond I built over the past six months with the horses, I interpreted it as "What nonsense are you talking about, Do-hwa? I'm a horse."
"Huh? A dinosaur? Oh, don't slander us. How do our kids look like dinosaurs? Dinosaurs are hideous creatures covered in fuzz, whereas our kids have smooth skin."
"Hmm. Leaving aside the fact that horses grow manes, since when did horse skin boast a smooth green color like a reptile...?"
"Velociraptor?"
Seo Gyu shouted from the back seat.
"Raptor! It's a raptor, hyung!"
"Raptor?"
"Yes! From Jurassic Park. Wait. Oh my god, don't tell me you haven't seen Jurassic Park either?"
"Of course not. That movie came out before I was born."
"No, that's the old trilogy. My god. Hyung, how can you be such a movie ignoramus? There are so many recent series..."
"Eeeeek!"
Noh Do-hwa was horrified, Seo Gyu was excited, and Sim Ah-ryeon was thrilled. Clearly, everyone was delighted by Kkingkki's cuteness.
I continued driving the safari truck.
"Ah. Ah. Now please turn your gaze to the 9 o'clock direction. There you can see Byojoki, the thirty-third successful gene work horse of our ranch. It walks on all fours, as a horse should."
"Triceratops!"
"Please don't call our Byojoki by such a crude name, Seo Gyu."
"Another dinosaur... What did you do to these horses to make them grow rhino horns on their heads...?"
"Now, look at the 11 o'clock direction. That's Kongkongi. A horse with a very pretty head."
"Pachycephalosaurus! Head-butting dinosaur!"
"Oh, Kongkongi seems happy to see us. He's knocking on the truck. Ha ha. Let's all wave and greet Kongkongi!"
"Heeeek... The car is shaking..."
As expected, the safari tour was a great success.
Every time I introduced a member of our ranch, cheers erupted.
Throughout my entire regressor life, there hadn't been a day as rewarding as this one as a host.
"Alright. Now, everyone, isn't it a bit boring to just watch the horses through the iron bars from the safely protected truck?"
"No!"
"I feel the same as you! So, I will specially allow you to interact with the horses under my guidance."
"Ahhh! Ahhh...!"
Sim Ah-ryeon wailed. Really, she didn't have to be so overjoyed.
"In that sense, I will now introduce my top pick, the pride of Idea Ranch, Keongkeongi."
"Keongkeongi...?"
"A very gentle and good-natured fellow. Everyone, please get off the truck. Ah-ryeon? Come out nicely. If you don't, I'll expose you as OldManGoryeo on SG Net."
"Hick. Hic, hic..."
Following me, everyone got off the safari truck.
"Keongkeongi! Come here!"
With a whistle, I took a goat barbecue from the trunk and threw it into the distant forest.
A moment later.
With a thud, a goat's hind leg flew out of the forest, torn off. Coincidentally, the hind leg flew past Sim Ah-ryeon's face and hit the truck window.
"Kyaaa!"
"Now, Keongkeongi will appear. Everyone, our Keongkeongi is very gentle but still young and lacks composure. So please don't provoke him."
"We agreed to call that [bad temperament]..."
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Keongkeongi emerged from the forest, his majestic figure towering. He was the largest among the horses I had raised so far. His hind legs were exceptionally massive compared to his somewhat slender front legs.
Above all, he had a beautiful head.
Seo Gyu punched the air.
"Of course! A T. rex should make an appearance! And it's even a featherless version! Fuck, who cares about scientific accuracy!"
"Gurgle..."
For the first time in a while, Seo Gyu uttered a curse as SG Man, while Sim Ah-ryeon collapsed next to him.
She must have fainted from overwhelming emotion. It was understandable given how handsome Keongkeongi was.
Grrroooar!
Keongkeongi, seeing his dad, expressed his delight.
"Did you hear that? Keongkeongi is the youngest of our ranch and loves goat meat the most."
"A carnivorous horse...?"
"Of course. Why do you criticize our boy for eating meat?"
"Aha. Until now, I wondered why the Undertaker didn't have a family or even a pet. But seeing this today, I realize it's fortunate you don't have children or pets..."
Thud! Thud!
Keongkeongi, charging with his powerful hind legs, ran towards me. I, too, raised my aura and hugged Keongkeongi's head with both arms.
"Oh, there, there. Did you miss Dad a lot?"
Grrroooar!
"That's right. Don't spill your food while eating. Here's the goat hind leg you dropped. Chew it well."
Grrr! Grrroar!
"How is it? Isn't our Keongkeongi cute?"
"..."
Unfortunately, there was no answer from the fainted Sim Ah-ryeon, and Seo Gyu was too busy observing Keongkeongi to respond. So, Noh Do-hwa, who prided herself on being devoid of a soul, had to answer.
"You're just overpowering a T. rex with brute strength..."
Thus, after decorating the highlight of the safari tour, we returned leisurely to our accommodation. For the record, Sim Ah-ryeon remained unconscious the whole time.
I smiled broadly.
"So, Noh Do-hwa, what are your thoughts after inspecting our ranch's achievements?"
"Hmm..."
"I think Keongkeongi is the most suitable as the mount for our future cavalry."
"Hmm..."
"Raising them is not easy, but if you grant us the time and budget, I will surely cultivate 1,000 Keongkeongis to create the world's strongest cavalry. Oh, and all cavalrymen must blow the horn I made during charges."
"Hmm."
Noh Do-hwa also smiled broadly.
It was a rare smile for her.
"Bullshit."
Why?
Epilogue 1.
In the end, Keongkeongi's cavalry debut was canceled, but the achievements of Idea Ranch were not entirely ignored.
"Undertaker. Does that huge dinosaur, Byojoki or whatever it's called, eat a lot...?"
"No. Thanks to the wonders of void genetics, it absorbs most of the energy it needs for biological activity through its skin. And it's a horse, not a dinosaur."
"Whether it's a dinosaur or a horse, that's good news. From now on, the National Road Management Corps will use Byojoki for transporting goods..."
Additionally, for military mounts for the awakeners, Kongkongi, the head-butting specialized horse, was selected instead of Keongkeongi.
Naturally, I fiercely protested this absurd decision.
"No! The essence of a cavalry unit is to be stylish! What's the romance in cavalrymen riding Kongkongis?"
"But doesn't Keongkeongi eat nearly 100kg of meat a day...? On the other hand, Kongkongi requires little food and is docile. I don't see a reason to hesitate..."
"Damn it! A cavalry unit is not about efficiency!"
"Then let's call it a mobile unit instead of a cavalry unit, or even a dinosaur unit. Hell, I don't mind calling the National Road Management Corps by its name..."
How could a person have such an insensitive perspective?
As a result, from the 380th cycle onward, awakeners occasionally rode Kongkongis around the Korean Peninsula. This was limited to the cycles in which I managed Idea Ranch.
I returned sadly and rode alone on Keongkeongi's back. A red sunset was setting beyond the horizon.
"I'm sorry, Keongkeongi. It seems I can't make a mate for you..."
Grrroooar.
It's okay, Keongkeongi replied, saying he found value in philosophical exploration rather than in a romantic relationship.
Ah! How heartbreaking.
Saddened, I blew the horn while riding on Keongkeongi's back.
Wooooooo!
Grrroooar!
Against the backdrop of a fiery sunset, a man and a horse roared.
Humanity's romance with the cavalry had finally come to an end.
Epilogue 2.
"Seo Gyu, I watched the dinosaur movie you recommended. But I didn't like it."
"Huh? How many did you watch?"
"Six. I watched the final one first since it was the last. The subtitle was Dominion. Why did you recommend such a movie?"
"No, hyung, fuck..."
-x-X-x-
The Invader I
Since we're on the topic of movies, I might as well reveal my taste: I prefer alien movies the most.
To be more precise, I like movies tagged with #Disaster #Invasion #SF #Apocalypse.
You know, movies like 'War of the Worlds' (2005) or 'Mars Attacks!' (1996).
Some might find my taste a bit surprising and even question it.
-Why would you enjoy watching movies that mimic the invasion of Earth by anomalies? What's fun about experiencing the same thing in reality and in movies?
But that's a question asked out of ignorance. It's fun precisely because movies and reality aren't 'the same.'
It feels like watching a fantasy work.
For one, there are no awakeners in those kinds of movies. That's already a minor 'historical inaccuracy.'
"Wow... Aliens that suck human blood to refuel and manipulate the environment. That's novel. But the lower body of the alien robots look flimsy. A few clean slashes with an aura blade would bring them down easily."
"Their strategy is odd too. They can hibernate for thousands of years but didn't think to scout Earth's ecosystem beforehand? Why? Even a year of reconnaissance would have revealed all the problems."
"Because they're idiots...?"
"Oh. Then I guess that's that."
Just listening to Sim Ah-ryeon and Seo Gyu's comments while watching movies with me would give you an idea of how people in this era perceived SF alien invasion disaster movies.
The inaccuracies are so glaring that they make the movies enjoyable in a fantastical way. Even though that probably wasn't the director's intention.
Among these movies, if I had to pick one that depicted reality fairly accurately, it would be 'Annihilation' (2018). It well-represented how ordinary people perceive the void.
Anyway.
There's one cliché that's almost universally and frequently seen in these movies.
'The aliens, who seemed invincible and drove humanity to despair, actually had a critical weakness-'
This cliché.
Personally, I call this the 'Achilles Cliché.'
You might argue that Achilles was human, but from the perspective of the Trojans, Achilles was practically an alien.
The aliens in movies die en masse from Earth's viruses after joining the anti-vaccine movement or their brains explode due to the mysterious waves from country music rhythms. However, the anomalies in reality aren't that kind to humanity.
But occasionally, very occasionally― just like in the movies, some anomalies appear with an 'Achilles heel.'
The kindest alien I encountered was during the 98th cycle.
To be honest, I didn't realize at first that it was an anomaly.
Not because I was stupid, but because it really confused people.
"Meteor shower!"
"There, there!"
"It won't come this way, right...?"
At first glance, it looked exactly like a 'meteor.'
The timing of its appearance was also ironic: precisely in the 9th year. At this point, the continent-class anomaly 'Meteor Shower' had already ravaged South Gyeongsang Province and was merrily spreading its urine trail across the globe.
Naturally, from my perspective, if something that looked like a meteor fell from the sky,
'Ick. Meteor Shower is acting up again.'
was the only logical conclusion.
Moreover, this 'meteor' didn't fall inland but in the middle of the East Sea. Not near Ulleungdo, but in the Yamato Basin, near the Japanese archipelago.
I hadn't heard any news about Atlantis relocating from the Atlantic Ocean to the East Sea, so that area was truly a no-man's-land.
So, I ignored it. Being a regressor is a busy job; there's no time to worry about the marine ecosystem.
But the story took a strange turn after the cycle where the Meteor Shower was eliminated.
"Mr. Undertaker, did you see the meteor fall into the East Sea last night...?"
"What?"
"You didn't know. A meteor fell last night. Haha. I was worried it might be the Meteor Shower again. It was briefly a hot topic on SG Net. But nothing happened..."
"Ah, there used to be meteors falling into the East Sea around this time. So that was just an ordinary meteor."
Even though I heard several eyewitness accounts, I lived my life not paying much attention to it.
After all, about 100 tons of rocks fall to Earth from space every day. It just so happened to fall into the East Sea, and it coincided with the Meteor Shower; it wasn't particularly special.
Then one day.
During the 98th cycle, I happened to visit Kanazawa in Japan.
I had a meeting with the Magical Girl Association, the largest faction in the Japanese archipelago, equivalent to our Awakener Alliance.
For reference, this group is filled with crazies like us, but they've evolved their madness in a completely different direction. I might mention them later.
Or better yet, I hope not.
Because the meeting ran late, I ended up walking along the beach at night with the Magical Girl representative.
"So, what I'm saying is, we want you to use your abilities to help us in the Inunaki subjugation."
"I can help. But as I said before, give me the camera."
"Look, even though there are only three of those precious items, you know we only have three of those, right? Instead, we'll offer other rewards... Oh?"
"Hmm?"
Even though it was quite cold, the Magical Girl, who insisted on wearing a frilly goth-lolita outfit and carrying a black umbrella even at night, pointed towards the East Sea.
This fashion sense might be a rare sight anywhere on Earth, but a more surprising sight was unfolding over the East Sea.
Thanks to being a regressor, my aura training was several levels above others, giving me incredibly enhanced eyesight.
"..."
"Wow! It's a shooting star!"
The Magical Girl hopped up and down excitedly on the sand. I couldn't match her enthusiasm.
Because.
"A disc?"
"Eh?"
"No, that thing falling into the East Sea. It's not a meteor... it's a disc... a saucer-shaped flying object."
"Huh? A UFO?"
With a voice that made me want to strangle her, the Magical Girl tilted her head. Fortunately or unfortunately, I had gotten used to their behavior and could nod in resignation.
That's right. An Unidentified Flying Object (UFO).
It was the moment when extraterrestrial beings made their grand debut.
Since a Magical Girl was present when I witnessed the anomaly, a quick investigation team was assembled.
Because of the power of the word UFO, the Magical Girl Association took the matter seriously.
"We'll deploy the aircraft carrier 'White Blossom' for the investigation mission. Undateikeo, please join us!"
"Uh, sure..."
For reference, the Magical Girl Association had a total of thirteen aircraft carriers. By the standards of the pre-civilization era, they were on par with the US Navy, making them one of the world's most powerful naval forces.
Of course, all of these were small fishing boats and cruise ships illegally modified and painted with the word aircraft carrier.
You might wonder what the correlation is between Magical Girls and aircraft carriers. How would I know?
The official name of their headquarters is 'The Fifth Neo-Tokyo Neo-Kowloon Fortress: Miji Shrine.' They are complete lunatics. Moreover, they always call me the 'Undateikeo.' If it weren't for business, I wouldn't visit them.
No matter what, this story isn't about those lunatics. It mustn't be. Because they... No, never mind.
Anyway, we arrived at the area where the meteor had supposedly fallen and began our search operation.
And.
"We found the spacecraft!"
Seven hours after starting the operation, we found the UFO. Despite their craziness, these friends were competent and accurately located the flying saucer drifting on the surface.
The Magical Girls gathered on the deck and chattered excitedly.
"Wow. Just like the Undateikeo said, it's not a meteor but a UFO..."
"Observation: It fell from the atmosphere and hit the surface. Assessment: The exterior is relatively intact. Conclusion: It's a product of a civilization that far surpasses human science and technology."
"...!"
"Amazing. There are waves on the surface. If we approach recklessly, won't an alien pop out?"
The UFO submerged briefly with each wave before resurfacing. Like an engine room inside a car's hood, the surface of the flying saucer was densely connected with complex pipes.
The first encounter with extraterrestrials.
Even I, who had experienced countless battles, felt a slight tension.
"There's no response for now. Whether we talk or fight, we need to enter it first."
"Okay..."
"I'll go in first. Anyone coming with me?"
"Well, after suffering for seven hours, it would be meaningless to back off now. I'll follow, so lead the way."
I nodded. Leaving the rear guard to the Magical Girls, I entered the UFO without hesitation. Again, despite their craziness, they were professional anomaly hunters.
Splash, splash.
The interior of the UFO was dark. It had already begun to flood, and water reached our ankles. As soon as we stepped into the corridor, a gasoline-like smell filled our noses.
"Stars—guide the dawn of humanity."
Flash.
When the Magical Girl chanted, orb-like lights began to float around her, illuminating the surroundings.
As soon as our visibility improved, other Magical Girls also started chanting their spells.
"Presence—detection—visualization."
"... ... ..."
"Even though there was no sound—your footprints are imprinted on my heart."
In an instant, our exploration team was equipped with visibility, radar, sonar, and stealth magic.
This was how the awakeners in the archipelago managed to resist despite the descent of Ya-o-yorozu no kami. It was a different kind of magic compared to Dang Seo-rin's Cursed Song Incantation.
Cursed Song Incantation's essence lay in its melody and rhythm, with Latin lyrics merely being an additional preference of Dang Seo-rin. In contrast, their magic was entirely composed of poetic language.
For magic-type awakeners, this 'poetic magic' was fundamental. Cursed Song Incantation was a unique school developed solely by the maverick Dang Seo-rin.
[Strange.]
We communicated via the telepathic magic.
[No matter how wide we extend the detection range, I sense nothing. Machines, machines, machines. It's just full of machines.]
[Hypothesis: Non-living extraterrestrials. Theory: Intelligent beings that have completely replaced their bodies with machines.]
[This place is a complete maze. There's a high possibility of an ambush, so we must remain vigilant.]
[Truly, I feel nothing. Undateikeo, do you sense anything unusual?]
[No. Wait—]
Thud.
The Magical Girls stopped in unison at my word. Their movements were well-rehearsed. It was excellent that they all waited for my further response without questioning, 'What's going on?' or 'Why?'
Suppressing my thoughts about how reliable they would be if only they didn't speak so oddly, I took five steps forward.
Thud, thud.
I tapped the 'object' in the corridor ahead with the tip of my sword. Even when I infused my aura, there was no reaction from the object. Only the water at ankle height rippled gently.
"They're dead."
There was no need to communicate telepathically, so I murmured aloud.
"What?"
"They're already dead. All of them."
The dark corridor of the UFO.
The passage was filled with over 120 alien corpses, melted beyond recognition.
The 'East Sea UFO Crash Incident' of the 98th cycle ultimately remained an unsolved case.
Why did aliens with technology far superior to current human civilization perish inside their ship? Were they already dead before crashing into the East Sea?
I couldn't hide my curiosity about this new anomaly.
After all, it was a mystery related to extraterrestrials. How could I resist?
Thus, in the very next cycle, the 99th, I prepared thoroughly.
This time, instead of searching after the UFO fell, I planned to go to the crash site and wait.
"You want to use an aircraft carrier? No matter how much you're the Undertaker, we can't just lend you one of our only seven military resources..."
"I'll help you with the Inunaki subjugation next time, with no conditions."
"Deploy the first aircraft carrier, White Blossom!"
-x-X-x-
The Invader II
The aircraft carrier boasted by the Magical Girl Association (40 tons, equipped with kitchen and rest facilities, formerly used as a fishing cleaning ship before commissioning as an aircraft carrier in 1996) arrived at the target waters in less than two hours.
The Magical Girls immediately took their positions and started fishing. They had the skills of seasoned fishermen.
"Wow—just when we were starting to run low on food, I was thinking about going fishing."
"By the way, Undateikeo. I heard rumors that there are awakeners in Korea with the ability to foresee the future. Is that true? You're moving with such certainty that an anomaly will appear at sea this time too."
I shrugged.
"That's a secret. But at least this time, it wasn't a prophet. It was a constellation that told me."
"A constellation...? Oh, those gods that only exist in Korea."
The Magical Girl nodded in understanding.
It might be surprising, but the awakeners from Japan didn't question why Constellations were so active only in Korea. They considered them a kind of local deity.
Even though they were now obsessed with their strange Magical Girl cosplay, before the void burst forth, they were all people with strong 'spiritual senses.' Mediums, shamans, and the like.
"...!"
While they were enjoying fishing, a quiet Magical Girl perked up her ears and pointed to the sky.
"Nya? What's wrong, Ciel?"
"Hmm?"
The people aboard the aircraft carrier looked up. Their eyes widened.
A UFO was falling from the sky.
"Nyaaa?! Wh-What is that?"
"...Good grief."
Boom!
The UFO tore through the Earth's fragile atmosphere as it fell. But from about 600 meters above the ground, its speed slowed dramatically. As if welcoming the alien visitor, the sea's waves surged violently.
With a roaring sound, the UFO landed, no, splashed down into the sea.
The tsunami caused by the UFO shook our aircraft carrier.
"Nya! Somebody save me!"
"Decelerate—stabilize—defend."
The ship, which almost capsized, regained its balance thanks to the crew's magic.
As the water spray slowly cleared, the enormous UFO gradually floated up on the water's surface.
"Unbelievable. Undateikeo was right. An anomaly really came from the sky."
"...! ...!"
"Amazing. Evidence for the hypothesis that the origin of anomalies might be space. We need to prepare a paper."
"Even if you publish a paper, there's no society to review it! Besides, is it even an anomaly? Maybe it's a real alien?"
Wiping the seawater from my face, I calmly spoke.
"Prepare for combat. Whether they're friendly or hostile aliens, we're about to find out."
"Hmm."
"Right. Good idea."
Shock gave way to caution. I and the others quickly assumed defensive positions.
"Warning. Detecting a presence."
The blind Magical Girl, specialized in scouting and detection, muttered as steam hissed from the UFO.
Unlike in the previous cycle, where all the aliens inside had been slaughtered, this time there were clear signs of life.
"..."
"..."
Everyone held their breath at the moment that might lead to humanity's first contact with intelligent extraterrestrial life.
A shadow loomed from beyond the steam and mist.
A whiff of gasoline hit our faces.
The blind Magical Girl muttered.
"Approaching."
Thud!
As soon as she finished speaking, the figure leapt from the steam and landed on the aircraft carrier.
Such tremendous jumping power. And if the figure intended to engage in friendly conversation, it was certainly not the right approach.
"Enemy!"
"It's a hostile alien!"
The creature, presumed to be an alien, extended its arms on the violently rocking ship.
Shriek!
Perhaps it was trying to say, 'Hug me,' by spreading its arms wide.
However, the alien had not two, but eight arms, and instead of hands, each arm ended in a one-meter-long scythe. Hardly suitable for a friendly embrace.
My subsequent judgment was hardly an overreaction.
"Engage in combat!"
Clang!
I met the eight swinging scythes of the alien with my blade. More accurately, I tried to meet them carefully.
'What kind of strength is this?'
A heavy blow. Despite expecting it to be at most on par with the Ten Legs, my sword almost flew out of my hand from just one scythe strike.
The strength wasn't the only surprising thing.
Shriek!
The eight naturally equipped scythes launched a rapid and dazzling assault. Although it was difficult to fully comprehend, there was undoubtedly a highly developed martial arts system embedded in the alien's scythe strikes.
One blow, two blows, three blows. Just when I thought I had blocked one, another scythe came from the side. I tried to cut off its eighth arm with my aura, but it was to no avail.
"Damn."
It wasn't easy to make me, in the 99th cycle, exclaim in such awe.
The alien creature was clearly stronger than the Ten Legs. Not just a little stronger—six, seven times stronger, if not beyond calculation.
"Undateikeo? Are you okay?"
"Not at all! This bastard is strong!"
"Serious. Ciel, turn the ship around. We need to retreat and call for reinforcements. I'll assist the Undateikeo—"
The Magical Girls made the right call, but just because something is right doesn't mean others will follow the logic.
Thud! Thud, thud!
Alien creatures rained down from the UFO onto the aircraft carrier. The ship shook uncontrollably, and waves crashed from all sides.
Shriek! Shriek!
I saw seven alien creatures within my line of sight. Their skin was melting like wax. The smell of gasoline was overwhelming, emanating from their melting skin.
"Fuck."
A cold sweat ran down my neck, a rare occurrence despite my countless regressions. Fighting just one was tough enough, but seven more?
But cold sweat alone wasn't enough to describe the urgency of the situation. The memory of the corridor inside the UFO from the 98th cycle flashed through my mind.
The corridor filled with corpses.
'So, there could be at least 120 of these things?'
A scream erupted from the Magical Girls.
"Aaaah!"
A quick glance showed that the Magical Girls were being overpowered by the aliens.
A flurry of scythe strikes. The limbs of the girl who always said 'nya' were severed, soaring into the air along with her black umbrella.
"Damn,"
"...!"
Even in the face of death, the Magical Girls tried to remain calm. Sparks flew, and magic flared. But with each passing second, their bodies were dismembered, scattering blood.
[Undateikeo, escape—]
Thud! The blind Magical Girl who survived till the end had her upper body pierced by a tail, and her voice was cut off. Blood gushed from the alien creature's sharp tail.
Time taken for total annihilation: a mere 11 seconds.
It wasn't due to negligence in preparation. The awakeners weren't lacking in skills.
Though not as experienced as me, they were veterans who had survived in Japan's anomaly-ridden environment.
Yet they were obliterated. In 11 seconds.
"Goddammit—"
It had been a while since such a harsh curse escaped my mouth. The feeling was familiar yet unwelcome. It was the same damn feeling I had when fighting that damned octopus-head Ten Legs.
"Bastards!"
Somehow, I summoned as much aura as I could and swung my sword. With my comrades wiped out, staying here even a second longer would mean getting surrounded. I had to at least kill the one in front of me.
Shriek!
Pouring all my aura into my blade, I delivered a savage strike. Rather than a slash, it was more of a brute force assault that turned the alien creature into chunks of flesh.
Shriek?
Shriek! Shriek!
The aliens were shocked at their comrade's death. The dozens of aliens on deck turned to look at me.
They clearly seemed wary.
They slowly, very slowly, began to surround me like hunters cornering prey.
I took cautious steps back, trying to keep the angle of encirclement below 180 degrees.
The aliens clicked and shrieked, seemingly displeased, but didn't immediately charge. I had been given a moment's reprieve.
...
The sound of waves echoed quietly. We maintained our distance, leaving the bodies of four Magical Girls and one alien between us, in a tense standoff.
"..."
I could retreat if I wanted to.
The aliens were strong and fast, but I didn't think they could keep up with my speed. The Magical Girls must have sensed this disparity and told me to [run] at the end.
However.
'I can't let 120 of these monsters roam the world.'
I gripped my sword hilt tightly and adjusted my stance. One sentence repeated in my mind.
I'm taking you down with me.
'Rather than that, I'll gather as much information as possible in this cycle and prepare for the next.'
The decisive reason I couldn't commit to retreating was the thought that there must be another entity that had slaughtered all 120 of these powerful aliens.
'I need to see its face. And learn its features and abilities if possible!'
It might be the queen of these aliens, or an entirely different entity. I had no information yet.
It was fortunate that I realized such a powerful anomaly existed. In previous cycles, this anomaly had crashed into the East Sea and disappeared, hiding somewhere without me knowing.
'This anomaly must have a continent-class, or more likely, an ocean-class danger rating.'
I couldn't even begin to imagine how many civilians and awakeners it had killed over the cycles while hiding from my sight.
'No matter how many cycles it takes, no matter how many decades or centuries, I'll annihilate it completely!'
As I steeled myself for a life-or-death struggle,
Shriek...
Shriek, shriek... shriek...?
The alien creatures, which had seemed ready to pounce at any moment, suddenly hesitated. They weren't afraid of my aura... no, that wasn't it.
All eight of their arms were trembling, and their tails were flailing wildly from side to side.
They stretched their necks out like deer, looked up, and shrieked at the sky. They twisted their limbs and scratched their skin furiously.
It looked like they were...
'...In pain?'
One of the aliens flipped over and started writhing on the ground, rubbing its body against the deck of the aircraft carrier like a bear scratching its back against a tree.
The difference was that the bear was in agonizing pain while doing so.
Shriek! Shriek! Shriek!
The other aliens followed suit, each writhing and scratching itself in apparent agony. One even crashed into the control room, while another used its own scythe-arms to peel its skin off.
"What in the world...?"
Just moments ago, these creatures had seemed like the ultimate lifeforms. Why were they suddenly acting like this?
I lowered my sword in confusion. Approaching one of the aliens, I stabbed it in the belly, but it didn't react at all and simply slumped over.
"Ugh..."
On closer inspection, the skin that had been melting like wax earlier was now literally pouring off like chocolate in a fountain.
The flesh was disintegrating. It looked as if they had been doused with acid, as their skin melted away.
Shriek! Shriek!
They writhed in agony, but the melting process only accelerated. Muscles were exposed, thick bones jutted out, and strange organs spilled out.
All of it melted away.
Within just two minutes, the deck of the aircraft carrier was littered with black, slimy remains.
"Gross..."
I went inside the UFO to check, but there was no twist. Just fewer numbers this time, but the corridors were still filled with alien corpses, just like in the 98th cycle.
These creatures, which might have been the strongest species in the universe, were all dead.
And humanity hadn't even done anything yet.
"..."
I scooped some seawater into my palm and poured it over one of the relatively intact bodies.
A remarkable thing happened. The alien's skin instantly melted away.
"Ugh..."
I tested it again, this time with fresh water from the aircraft carrier, and the result was the same. The alien's skin, bones, and organs turned into a sticky liquid.
"Oh..."
I realized why these powerful creatures had been annihilated and why they hadn't appeared in previous cycles.
"Their weakness is 'water'...?"
They should have avoided Earth. Idiots.
I named these alien creatures the 'Warrior Race.' From the 99th cycle onward, I paid no attention to UFOs or the Warrior Race that fell into the East Sea.
No matter how strong the Warrior Race was, no matter how tough they were—even for me, a regressor—it didn't matter.
Their weakness was water.
As obvious as it sounds, 71% of the Earth's surface is covered in water. And, amusingly enough, on Earth, H₂O often falls from the sky. Sometimes it rains for days on end.
Oh, don't you know? Aliens, this is called 'summer monsoon'—
'How can a creature's weakness be water?'
It was bizarre, but considering how rare water is in the universe, it might be that Earth's inhabitants and its life forms are the strange ones.
"Hey, guild leader! Look over there! A shooting star...!"
"Hmm."
In some cycles, I saw meteor showers over the East Sea, but I simply watched the night sky with a bittersweet feeling.
The idea that these anomalies, potentially my greatest foes, were diving into the East Sea and dying every cycle was... a bit strange.
'What if the Warrior Race isn't actually an anomaly but real aliens?'
What if the UFO was just a small reconnaissance ship and the main force was elsewhere?
What if they realized their weakness was water, developed high-tech waterproof suits, and came back for another invasion?
And if humanity and anomalies alike were wiped out by the Warrior Race's invasion?
"Wish. Make a wish quickly, guild leader. If you make it before the star falls, it will come true!"
With Sim Ah-ryeon's special skill of whining, I raised my hands in surrender.
"Alright, fine. Let's make a wish."
If the aliens launch a full-scale invasion, what can I do? I'll just keep resetting the cycles and deal with it then.
Praying that such a disaster wouldn't happen, I clasped my hands together.
'Please give up on Earth. Aliens. No matter where your home planet is, I guarantee it's less of a hellhole than ours.'
Twinkle—
As if acknowledging my wish, a shooting star twinkled over the East Sea in the 9th year.
-x-X-x-
The Promoted I
Speaking of wishes, it's more accurate to say that I grant them rather than make them.
[Time Seal].
My unique awakening ability and the reason why my nickname as the Undertaker stuck. It traps the target in their 'happiest day,' forcing them to relive that day for eternity.
-Undertaker, it's too hard. I want to let go of life now.
-Please, Undertaker.
-I want to see my family. Back when the world was still intact, with my family... Please.
-No one in reality will remember me anymore? It doesn't matter. This world is already...
Though they relive the same day forever, those under [Time Seal] never realize it.
Even if, like the soccer player Kim Joo-chul from a previous episode, they somehow notice, it doesn't matter. They forget again quickly.
People just play all day long in the dreamland amusement park I've set up, with an all-day pass.
To the end-of-the-world humanity, I am the ultimate, legally approved final sedative (with narcotic properties).
Naturally, there's a long line of people waiting to get into this amusement park with a free pass.
Today, let me introduce the craziest psychopath standing in that line.
"Vice guild leader."
"Hmm?"
"My life is too painful."
Swooosh.
Silver hair fell across the table from the seat opposite me.
That hair was beautiful. Too white to be gray and too shiny to be white. It could only be described as silver.
When an awakener gains their powers, their hair color is randomly dyed. The person before me had lucked out with an SR grade in the tier gacha. (For reference, I got normal-grade black.)
"To be honest, it's too hard to bear sober. I want to end it all."
"..."
Yu Ji-won.
There's a person with that name.
In fact, Yu Ji-won has appeared several times in my stories. Some readers might remember, but her first appearance was here.
-Vice guild leader, do you have a moment? A guest has come to see you.
-A guest? Who?
-Yes, the name is... Emim... Schopenhauer? They said they're German.
The day I first met the old Schopenhauer.
The one who first told me a historic moment had arrived, a German geezer visiting, was none other than the SSS-class hair beauty Yu Ji-won, my secretary and lieutenant.
Yes, my secretary and lieutenant. Long ago, when I was just a lackey for Dang Seo-rin at Samcheon World, Yu Ji-won was my lackey. The lackey of the supreme guild leader's lackey—quite a high rank.
Let me introduce how this one got into the core circle of power, our inner circle, in one fell swoop.
It was during the 5th cycle. Yu Ji-won said something to me then.
"Vice guild leader, do you like Romance of the Three Kingdoms?"
"What? You too?"
"Yes. I got into it when I was a kid with Yokoyama's 60-volume strategy Three Kingdoms."
My eyes lit up. Such pedigree.
The cool and chic awakener with silver hair moved only her lips to mutter.
"After that, I read Go Woo-young's Three Kingdoms, Hwang Sok-yong's Three Kingdoms, Yi Munyeol's Three Kingdoms, and Jang Yeong-sil's Three Kingdoms. I briefly got into the niche Three Kingdoms commentary before moving on to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Battle Records and eventually delving into the original historical texts."
"Incredible."
I was dizzy with excitement. It was an intoxicating feeling, like a drug.
Is this how a martial arts elder feels when they see a promising disciple?
My voice trembled as I asked, testing if this kid was the successor to carry on my legacy.
"KOEI...? Or, Three Kingdoms: Total War...?"
"Hmm."
As is common in zen dialogue, Yu Ji-won rested her chin on her hand in thought.
Finally, she lifted her glasses.
"My rational mind calls for Three Kingdoms: Total War, but my young heart cries out for KOEI. And I believe the soul resides in the heart rather than the brain."
"…Which series do you prefer?"
"Three Kingdoms 3, Three Kingdoms 5, Three Kingdoms 11."
"Gasp...!"
I had no choice but to acknowledge her excellence. From that moment, Yu Ji-won was immediately selected as my close aide.
Of course, there was one final hurdle.
"Oh, for crying out loud. Kids."
Samcheon World, which had adopted a global monarchical system over a democratic one, had its own procedures and regulations.
Our supreme leader, the Great Witch Dang Seo-rin, sneered at us.
"Hiring someone as the vice guild leader's aide just because they're a Three Kingdoms otaku? The guild's management must be thriving."
"It's ironic coming from a witch otaku and train enthusiast..."
"What did you just say, vice guild leader?"
"Nothing at all."
"I understand you like her, but you can't promote guild members recklessly without procedure. How will Yu Ji-won feel if she rises through the ranks without proper process? Her peers will resent her."
"If I may, Great Witch, can I speak?"
Yu Ji-won said.
As described several times, Yu Ji-won always wore an expressionless face and spoke with discipline. She had a talent for making even the most nonsensical words sound plausible when they passed her lips.
"Hmm? Go on."
"I wasn't recommended for the position of vice guild leader's aide just because of my Three Kingdoms knowledge. I have other skills as well."
"What, your awakening ability? The minimap thing? I know that. I value you too. But as I said, organizations need procedure and order…"
"I majored in Latin and can write freely in Latin. Naturally, I can also translate song lyrics into Latin."
"Promoted."
Yu Ji-won, appointed to the executive level!
Yu Ji-won's promotion to the inner circle was thanks to her knowledge of Three Kingdoms and her Latin skills, but that didn't mean she was incompetent as an awakener.
In fact, she was quite capable.
"Ji-won."
"Yes, vice guild leader."
"It's about time to start the operation. Turn on the minimap."
"Yes, sir."
Minimap.
This was Yu Ji-won's awakening ability. Any Korean who had sold their soul to the ethnic game StarCraft would instantly understand what the 'minimap' ability was just by hearing its three-syllable name.
Swoosh-
Yu Ji-won spread a map on the operation table. The scale was 1:50,000. She placed the chess pieces she had prepared on the map.
Amazingly, the chess pieces began to move on their own.
"Vice guild leader, the enemy is gathering in the eastern district as expected. They seem to be planning to use boats to attack us from behind."
"Hmm."
The seemingly ordinary chess pieces had red stickers with names like 'Kim Sung-woo' and 'Park Hyun-mo' written on them.
All were names of the enemy leaders we were up against.
The chess pieces imitated the locations and movements of the enemies on the map. It wasn't just the enemies.
♝ ♛
Yu Ji-won Dang Seo-rin
The bishop labeled 'Yu Ji-won' and the queen labeled 'Dang Seo-rin' also accurately showed their positions on the map.
Dang Seo-rin was impressed.
"It really feels like fighting with a minimap on. This ability is broken. Ever since Ji-won joined Samcheon World, guild wars have become so easy."
"You flatter me, Great Witch."
Yu Ji-won, the master of social skills, bowed at a perfect angle—neither too exaggerated nor too stiff.
"My ability has limits. Without your leadership, my ability would be useless."
"That's too much flattery. Be careful, or I might sew your mouth shut."
"Yes."
Yu Ji-won was just pretending to be modest while flattering, but her 'minimap' had some flaws.
1. The minimap only displayed targets Yu Ji-won had met and knew by name.
For instance, Yu Ji-won couldn't display the 'Saintess' on the minimap. She had never met her and didn't know her name.
2. The minimap only worked in cities Yu Ji-won had physically visited.
For example, in the 5th cycle, Yu Ji-won had never been to Gyeongju. Despite being a cycling enthusiast who toured all of Korea and even Japan, she had never set foot in Gyeongju.
So no matter how much she used the minimap, she couldn't track anyone fleeing to Gyeongju.
In such cases, the chess pieces would move until they reached the edge of the map and then fall over.
The expression 'set foot in the city' might seem vague, but it had a very clear criterion: visiting a convenience store in the city.
Oddly enough, if Yu Ji-won bought something or stayed in a convenience store in a city for more than a minute, that city was considered 'visited.'
So, cities where convenience stores had completely disappeared couldn't be 'visited.' For instance, in New York, which was devastated by an ocean-class anomaly, there were no convenience stores to be found.
In other words?
"Guild leader, I'll take Ji-won to various guild leader meetings and travel across the country."
"Sure. Please do."
I dragged Yu Ji-won around the country under the pretext of being my secretary, making her familiarize herself with people's faces.
As a result, the 'vast network' that Yu Ji-won built through me was reflected on a map of the entire Korean Peninsula.
"Impressive."
I looked down at the huge map and opened a beer bottle.
The major guild leaders of each city, those with special abilities even if they weren't guild leaders, and anyone who could influence the power dynamics in Korea.
The locations of all these important figures were displayed in real time.
"Thank you. It's all thanks to you, vice guild leader."
"It's your skill and your major that paid off."
"I never expected my Latin major to shine more after the world ended. I used to worry about starving before the apocalypse."
"Isn't it life's unpredictability?"
I slowly poured beer into Yu Ji-won's proffered glass. We raised our glasses to celebrate the completion of the 'national map.'
"Cheers."
"Cheers."
Clink— The glasses made a lovely sound.
With Dang Seo-rin's leadership, my support, and Yu Ji-won's overwhelming information-gathering ability, Samcheon World continued to prosper.
It would be nice if this invincible triumvirate lived happily ever after... but as you all know, this story is far from a happy ending.
Shortly after we ascended to power in Korea, the situation grew increasingly grim.
In cycles without Noh Do-hwa, the cities were isolated and perished one by one. In cycles without the SwordMarquess, food supplies dwindled rapidly. In cycles without Seo Gyu, the Awakeners lost their communication network. In cycles without Old Man Scho, we lacked the strength to break through the anomaly's onslaught.
Even for the executives of Samcheon, the situation was dire. Maybe even worse.
Dang Seo-rin, the supreme leader in our autocratic system, was a rare breed—a 'benevolent ruler.'
Executives had to set an example at the front lines, and if even one guild member starved, so did the executives.
Dang Seo-rin endured. I endured well.
Yu Ji-won struggled.
Despite her cool and chic persona with silver hair, Yu Ji-won had the words 'power' and 'promotion' inscribed on her heart. For her, the dire situation was unbearable.
The brutal truth was that Samcheon World was still the best off in Korea.
Yu Ji-won, who needed power and success to be satisfied, was tormented by the environment that refused to fulfill her desires.
If there had been a guarantee of success in another guild, Yu Ji-won might have followed the example of Prime Minister Ye Wanyong of the Great Korean Empire and defected.
In reality, Yu Ji-won had every intention of continuing her ancestors' legacy.
"Vice guild leader."
"Hmm?"
"Could you arrange a boat to Japan?"
I didn't bother to lecture her, 'Why run away to Japan? Aren't you ashamed as the vice guild leader's aide?'
Instead, I sipped my coffee. By this time, I had started to see through Yu Ji-won's true nature.
"I could arrange one, but it would be a one-way ticket."
"What do you mean?"
"Until recently, there were Japanese ships occasionally coming to Busan. But they've all disappeared since three months ago. What does that tell you?"
"..."
We fought bloody battles against anomalies across the country with our guild alliance. Yu Ji-won, as my direct subordinate, was always with me.
"Vice guild leader, what about China..."
"Based on what the constellations said, Shandong is out of the question."
"..."
"And you said your [Minimap] works in Korea and Japan but you've never been to China. Your ability would be useless there. Are you okay with that?"
"..."
Indeed, betrayal requires someone to accept you, and escaping needs a paradise to run to.
The times were turning her into an eternal loyalist.
Just as talented people born in the wrong era often do, Yu Ji-won finally acknowledged that her desires would never be fulfilled.
She had nowhere to go. Where could she go when the whole world had collapsed?
Actually, there was one last place to run to.
"Vice guild leader."
"Oh, for crying out loud. Lieutenant Yu! Are you scared? Let's just die together. Life is short anyway. We're all doomed soon..."
"Please kill me."
I turned my head.
My expressionless lieutenant was staring at me.
"Give me a funeral. With your power. Please."
"..."
I sighed.
There were many who had asked me for a funeral... that is, [Time Seal].
Sure. Some of them were personally important to me.
In short, I was a professional undertaker. I had already experienced sending close acquaintances into eternal caskets multiple times.
And I knew that when people I had seen through and through asked for a funeral, I could offer a slightly more detailed consultation than usual.
To summarize the consultation in one line:
-I'm a regressor. The wheel of time will turn to the next cycle, and the world will be a bit better. Are you sure you want to be sealed now?
Upon hearing my secret, Yu Ji-won was shocked. Her mental shock lasted exactly six hours.
Less than a day later, my silver-haired lieutenant came back.
"Your excellency, you said this is the 5th cycle."
"..."
It's evident she was a tough nut to crack since she started addressing me as 'your excellency' the moment she heard I was a regressor.
"Yes."
"Well, then wouldn't it be logical to think that the 2nd cycle would be better than the 1st, the 5th better than the 4th, and the 6th better than the 5th?"
"…That's true."
My silver-haired lieutenant nodded seriously.
Then she began to say something I had never heard in my entire regressor life.
"Your excellency, I believe getting sealed in time now, in the 5th cycle, would be a significant loss."
?
-x-X-x-
The Promoted II
"What?"
"Your Excellency. Upon reflection, I realize I haven't truly enjoyed my life."
Yu Ji-won said.
"Even if I were to be Time Sealed and relive my 'happiest day,' I doubt that happiness would hold much objective value."
Huh… What is she talking about?
"While other ordinary people spend their sealed time happily with their families or lovers, I would be endlessly repeating the day I got accepted into university or the day I topped my class. Imagine that, Your Excellency. Is that truly the most valuable form of happiness? I find it extremely unfair."
"No… what… So what is it you want to say to me?"
"Honorable vice guild leader, please, in the next cycle, inform me in advance that you are a Regressor and the Prophet who promises the gospel of eternal days. If I know that, this wretched sheep will tirelessly work to create the happiest day I can, to prepare for the heaven I will eventually enjoy."
"...…"
Silence filled the tent.
"So, if I understand correctly, I will Time Seal you, but before that, you want to create a day you will happily repeat forever?"
"As expected, Your Excellency. Your understanding is astute."
"Are you truly insane?"
"Vice guild leader! I will serve you faithfully until the day this world ends. So please, promise me this."
"The world has nearly ended! No, Ji-won. I'm sorry. This vice guild leader was wrong. I was lying. It's unreasonable to think someone like a Regressor exists, right?"
"I have always trusted you, vice guild leader. Isn't our bond of friendship not so trivial? Of course, in the next cycle, I might be too foolish to recognize you as the Savior. Then just tell me, 'I know you killed someone when you were fifteen and dumped the body in a celery field in North Korea.'"
"What? You killed someone in middle school? No, wait… Hey! Stop grabbing my pants! Let go! Hey, let go! Lieutenant Yu! You crazy bitch!"
Having lived as a regressor, I had encountered many lunatics, but Yu Ji-won was the first psychopath who actively sought to exploit my regression solely for her own pleasure and happiness.
Even upon reflection after 1183 cycles, there was no one like Yu Ji-won.
The most astonishing fact was… this girl wasn't just talking; she truly served me with utmost loyalty until her dying breath.
-̷̱̀G̶͇̚r̶̫̄ṵ̷̈́a̷͍͑ȯ̷̜o̸͈͗r̴̲͑r̵͉͐ä̶͚́r̵̠͌ṛ̶̎r̴̹̈́r̴͎̍!
In the fifth cycle, I lost my head within two minutes of engaging the Ten Legs.
But in that battle, many awakeners died before me, including Yu Ji-won.
"Vice guild leader! Danger!"
Yu Ji-won even shielded me from the Ten Legs' tentacles. She leaped in front of me and took the hit herself.
I was dumbfounded.
Because even without her intervention, I could have dodged that attack.
If there were an award for 'The Most Pointless Death of the Year,' this would be a prime contender.
If the person who died wasn't my direct subordinate, who had been through thick and thin with me, I might have clapped and laughed.
"Hey… Lieutenant Yu, no, Ji-won… what the hell is this new insanity…?"
"Cough."
Yu Ji-won, with a neat hole in her chest, coughed up blood.
Her blue eyes, shining with a seriousness this world would never see again, looked up at me.
"Next cycle… Your Excellency, promise…"
Thud.
And she died.
"...…"
This is driving me crazy.
It was absurd, but I wasn't cruel enough to ignore the last words of someone who died in my place (even a pointless death is still a kind of death, right?).
I regretted not being a bit more cruel, but it was too late. I delivered the message to Yu Ji-won in the next cycle.
"Indeed."
The silver-haired cool chick nodded.
Since the world hadn't completely collapsed yet, resources were still plentiful. Yu Ji-won raided a convenience store with an axe and fortified it.
She claimed she had owned the convenience store for a long time, but I didn't believe her. This girl could lie more naturally than she breathed.
"I understand that you claim to be a regressor. I also understand that you possess the ability known as the Time Seal. But all of this is just unverified claims, isn't it?"
"I also know you're a psychopath."
"That's not surprising. Everyone around me has known that for a long time."
-Kyaaaah!
In the middle of our conversation, a creature crashed through the convenience store window. It looked like a cockroach monster. I charged my staff with aura and pierced its mouth beautifully.
Crash! Yu Ji-won approached and finished it off with an axe to the head. The creature trembled.
Yu Ji-won always had a keen sense for combat. This talent was evident even back then.
We resumed our conversation as if nothing had happened.
"What more proof do you need? I know you like Three Kingdoms and that you majored in Latin."
"What? Hmm. I see. Very interesting, but it's still just unverified claims."
"Damn it, I know you killed someone when you were fifteen and dumped the body in a celery field in North Korea. Believe me, you psycho bitch!"
"…Oh."
Yu Ji-won blinked her eyebrows.
"I understand. Your statement just now greatly increases the credibility of your claims."
"Why? Because it's a truth no one else knows?"
"To be precise, because it's 'incorrect knowledge.' It wasn't when I was fifteen; it was when I was fourteen. And it wasn't in North Korea; it was in Dobong Mountain."
"...…"
"If your ability was to read minds or uncover secrets, there would be no reason to accept incorrect information. Therefore, you must have received this wrong information from someone else. And I have several reasons to be confident that my murder was never discovered."
"...…"
"Hmmm, regression. And past cycles of me sending letters to myself through a regressor as a courier… very interesting. Few people in life experience something this extraordinary."
This is driving me crazy, seriously.
I opened a can of coffee from the convenience store shelf and chugged it. Yu Ji-won didn't stop me.
"Consider this can of coffee my courier fee. I've delivered the last words, so I'm leaving now."
"Ah. Please wait for two minutes. I will come with you."
"What?"
I was startled.
When I turned around, Yu Ji-won was rolling up the national and city maps spread on the counter and stuffing them into a trunk.
Incidentally, the most striking interior decoration in this convenience store was the 'Tutorial Fairy's' skin. I did not misspeak. This girl had skinned the fairy and mounted it on the wall like a trophy.
I could confidently say she had skinned at least two different beings before.
"Hey, what do you mean, come with me? You have plenty of supplies here. Just hold out here."
"That's the worst plan."
Yu Ji-won pushed up her glasses.
"In the previous cycle, didn't I eventually leave here and join your guild? If I'm going to leave anyway, it's better to join now and rise through the ranks faster."
"It's not my guild, it's led by Dang Seo-rin."
"Ah. I see. I apologize. Please guide and correct me whenever I make mistakes in the future."
"No, no need for corrections or guidance, just don't follow me, okay? Hey. Hey! I don't want this! I don't like you anymore! Go away, will you?"
Yu Ji-won did not go away.
She clung to me like a parasite. This psychopath's chosen host was the Samcheon World.
Yu Ji-won demonstrated her dedication to the witch cosplay in the guild by proving she possessed not only the 'Minimap' skill but also 'Dang Seo-rin Favorability.'
"Wow, vice guild leader. Where did you find such a cute kid?"
"It's the honor of three lifetimes, Great Witch."
"..."
Yu Ji-won, selected as an early member of Samcheon World, was promoted faster and higher than her 5th cycle self. One could say she made quite a spectacle.
Her official title was Operations Manager, serving as my deputy and special secretary to the guild leader, Dang Seo-rin. In short, she firmly established herself as the third-ranking member within the guild.
Considering she was the third in command of Korea's top guild, it was equivalent to being the third-ranking executive in the largest corporation before the apocalypse. She could be considered highly successful.
However, our silver-haired psychopath Yu Ji-won was not the type to care about others' evaluations.
"Manager Yu."
"Yes, vice guild leader."
"…We'll be fighting the Ten Legs soon. Shouldn't we have your funeral first?"
"Ah."
"Anyway, from what I see, you seem much happier in this cycle than in the last one. While I can't know what you consider happiness, wouldn't you be satisfied with the afterlife you'll have now?"
"Hmm."
She said, "Hmm." This girl.
This psychopath just looked around the air and said, "Hmm."
Visually, her lips formed an exact 'ω'.
"Vice guild leader, I suddenly thought. If I'm happier in this 6th cycle than I was in the 5th… there's a good chance I'll be a bit happier in the 7th, isn't there?"
"Ji-won. What are you talking about, Ji-won…"
"Please, in the next cycle, try your best to make me happier before my funeral…"
"Hey!"
By now, you can probably guess how this story ended.
That's right. Without needing any epilogue, to cut straight to the conclusion, Yu Ji-won, this damn bitch, used me as a delivery girl for her last words every single time.
From the 6th cycle to the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th.
Every time I asked if she was finally happy enough for a funeral, she would say,
"Hmm. In the next cycle, I think I'll be a bit happier."
She kept postponing her sealing endlessly.
Seriously, who does that?
I've read countless web novels and encountered numerous regressor protagonists after the 550th cycle, but I've never seen a character who uses an infinite regressor like this.
Even later on… she joined the National Road Management Corps under Noh Do-hwa.
"This Minimap skill is perfect for our Corps. Thanks to it, tracking the members' locations in real-time is effortless. Wow. Thanks for introducing such a talented individual for free, Awakener Undertaker…"
"...…"
And after several cycles, Yu Ji-won smoothly rose to the position of Operations Control Room Chief, just below Noh Do-hwa in the National Road Management Corps.
So, over a very long period, spanning hundreds of years, Yu Ji-won was genuinely 'climbing the ranks.'
From a regular guild member to my deputy. From my deputy to the third-ranking member of Samcheon World. From a Samcheon World executive to a key figure in the National Road Management Corps.
It was a miracle of creating something from nothing! A living success story!
I couldn't fathom how such a phenomenon could occur.
A power-hungry monster climbing ranks every cycle? Isn't that a real anomaly?
More astonishing was that this ambitious monster never once betrayed me in the long history spanning 1183 cycles.
Once, I asked her over drinks why she never betrayed me, and her answer was astonishing.
"Betray you, Undertaker? I would rather die than do that."
"Why? You're a psychopath."
"Please stop stereotyping psychopaths. You're a regressor with Complete Memory. You remember everyone's every action and judge them accordingly. So, I must always be cautious not to displease you. Isn't that common sense?"
Holding a clear soju glass, Yu Ji-won looked up at the full moon in the night sky. Her gaze was wistful.
"I find it hard to understand how someone could be foolish enough to betray you. On the other hand, it's truly fascinating. Why are so many people so foolish?"
"..."
I really don't understand this girl…
But on the flip side, no one knew Yu Ji-won as deeply as I did. By the 50th cycle, I was certain of one thing about her.
Even if everyone else wanted to be Time Sealed, Yu Ji-won definitely wouldn't.
I once thought she was born in the wrong era.
But I was wrong. This girl would thrive in any era. Even in an apocalypse where civilization had crumbled, she remained the ultimate survivor. In fact, she was optimized for this era.
At this point, I felt half-obligated, half-jokingly to ask Yu Ji-won.
"Ji-won."
"Yes?"
"Are you happy now?"
The chess piece on the map toppled over with a plop.
Then my silver-haired deputy, the nearly one-of-a-kind Three Kingdoms club member and the original member of my regression life, the psychopath friend would ponder for a moment, resting her chin on her hand, before giving her answer.
"I think I can be a bit happier next time."