The Impostor II
"Wait, hold on, mister!"
Oh Dok-seo, who had been listening to my story, was startled. She spoke so abruptly that some espresso splashed around.
"That, that means that Japanese person was a regressor!"
"Calm down."
"How can I calm down? If there's another person besides Old Man Scho and you, that makes three regressors!"
"Well, for now, just calm down."
I calmly wiped the table with a handkerchief. Dok-seo, who had been focused on the Monkey's Paw, was now entirely captivated by the diary. The page with the sentence 'Time is looping' lay open.
"I was just as excited as you when I read that sentence in the diary."
It was only natural. How could my heart not race?
If a 'Third Regressor' existed, it would be an incredible discovery.
Even if the person was found dead at Seongsan Ilchulbong, it didn't matter. There was still a possibility they would survive in the next cycle.
But to spoil things a bit, no such miracle occurred.
In the next cycle, and the one after that.
No matter how much time passed, the hairy corpse remained in the corner of Seongsan Ilchulbong.
"Can I read it too? The diary?"
"Sure. Unlike the Monkey's Paw, that diary is just an ordinary notebook."
"Thanks, mister!"
Flip.
Dok-seo hurriedly turned the pages.
For a moment, her actions overlapped with my own past self.
When I first discovered that diary.
"Day 5???"
It happened again. Centaurs attacked and started killing our party.
Why do we keep returning to Day 5? Was it because of the wish I made with the Monkey's Paw?
I don't know anymore.
Knowing the ambush was coming, we managed to drive the centaurs away without losing anyone this time. The party members praised me for it.
Even the usually stoic Yō looked at me with surprise, but for some reason, I didn't feel happy.
To you, this will note might look neatly written, but the reality was different.
The handwriting in the diary grew more chaotic, resembling the scrawl of a madman.
Occasionally, when sanity returned, the writing was neat, but it was only a façade.
The content of the diary reflected the writer's deteriorating mental state, spiraling rapidly into madness.
"Day 12??????"
It's certain. No matter what I do, I can't leave this dungeon.
Next, I'll try capturing and interrogating the 'fairy' who seems to be the host of this death game. That bitch should have some information.
"Day 13??????"
The fairy ran away as soon as it saw me.
'Hoeeek! This is the wrong place! It's a mistake!' it said. I don't understand.
I wanted to capture it by force, but honestly, it was impossible. When it swung something that looked like a magic wand, people died instantly and it turned invisible.
I've reached the final stage again. Koreans call this mountain Seongsan Ilchulbong.
When others reached the summit, they disappeared into a bright halo of light. But I remained inside the dungeon.
Why?
Why can't I leave the dungeon?
I begged the Monkey's Paw to let me out of this dungeon, but nothing changed. Why?
I wished to see my family and friends again, but there was no response. Why?
In a fit of anger, I threw the Monkey's Paw away. The next day, I woke up with it on my chest.
"?????????????"
Someone please help me.
"Day 5??????????????"
Another Day 5 ambush.
Suddenly, I felt overwhelmingly apathetic. This time, I didn't bother to fight the centaurs.
Instead, I joined them. I attacked my party members from behind as they fought the centaurs. Without Yō and me, the group fell apart pathetically quickly.
I saved Yō for last. When she saw my face, she widened her eyes.
You――― she started to say.
At that moment, a centaur's massive body struck her.
When a human is trampled by a horse, they die in a ridiculous manner. It had been a while since I felt such pleasure. It was a bit fun.
The problem was that the centaurs, after wiping out our group, hunted me too.
What fools. As expected of monsters, they had no concept of cooperation or alliances.
"..."
I swallowed hard.
It was a typical sign of corruption.
The diary's owner, who believed herself to be a regressor, gradually lost her humanity.
Humanity only exists when people live together.
Conversely, if my space cannot interact with others and my time does not intersect with theirs, a person rapidly transforms into 'something not human.'
The fallen Saintess who became the Executioner was a prime example.
The diary's owner was no different.
"Day 17???????????????????"
I reflect on my past self.
Reflecting on the past leads to the future. I have grown enough to believe that. In this space, no development is possible, so only self-discipline has meaning.
Why did I hate Yō so much?
Because she looked like the girl Sena cheated with? Because her expression annoyed me? Because she seemed like a model student?
I repent my prejudice.
Now I like Yō. I really like her. Other people break down in three days, but Yō lasted nearly three weeks.
She kept muttering the name Rika— Rika—, someone who seemed important to her.
She said she had a promise to keep, to return home. It was laughably stupid.
"Day 20???????????????????"
The world outside this space must have already disappeared.
The concept of 'stage clear' does not exist. When people are enveloped in the light at the end, they actually die.
So, staying here with me is definitely better. Sometimes monsters pop out, but it's better than dying, right?
At this time, the Korean groups that split up at the start arrive one by one at the summit. But I didn't let them go.
I remembered the game
I hung Yō in the center of the crater. Then, I dragged everyone approaching the summit down the slope.
Roll, roll, roll. If they were lucky, they'd roll right into the crater and hit Yō. A hole-in-one.
I wondered why Korean students would go on a school trip to such a place, but I finally understood the true beauty of this location.
Depending on the angle and force, the rolling trajectory varied greatly. It was a deeply engaging game. I declared this place my private golf course. It's my property.
Some Korean shouted that I was a boss monster. How rude. I'm a young lady.
"Day 27???????????????????"
I felt a pang of fear after a long time.
A rather strong group rescued Yō and ambushed me. The last survivors must have banded together to form a death squad.
When a spear grazed my neck, I thought my heart would stop. I barely overcame the ambush and killed them.
I felt alive. This is what interaction between humans is like.
I gathered the wounded and killed them one by one in front of Yō. I took special care with the one who almost beheaded me.
That Korean glared at me with fierce eyes until the end.
Too bad. Sorry, but I'm a human who maxed out 'luck' with the Monkey's Paw.
Yō made beautiful sounds. Wasn't the violin invented from human screams? I felt more cultured.
Flip.
The diary contained many passages that were hard to convey.
Unless one was deeply interested in gore or guro, it felt like a repetitive cycle of similar content.
Torture conducted solely to elicit new reactions from others. Even the Tutorial Fairy would respond with, 'This is a bit much.'
But human reactions were not infinite. Creativity had limits.
In the end, the diary concluded with one last sentence on a page yellowed with age.
A staggering handwriting.
I'm sorry for being born.
Monkey's Paw, please make me disappear.
Thud.
I closed the diary. Then I looked down at the hairy corpse that originally held this will note with both hands.
The corpse's posture seemed as if it was praying to someone.
What exactly happened to the 'hairy corpse'?
Was she really a Regressor? How did the Monkey's Paw work?
An ordinary person would find it hard to investigate further.
But I, the Undertaker, was a seasoned 'True Regressor.'
Even if something seemed useless at first glance, I never neglected building networks with others.
Therefore, I could easily inquire about the 'Japanese person' dragged into the tutorial dungeon in Jeju Island.
"Nya? You mean Yō?"
Sway. Manyo Neko's tail swayed. Across from me, Manyo Neko blinked, interrupting her tea drinking.
"You suddenly want to meet Yō, nya? What do you mean, Undateikeo, nya?"
"She's your childhood friend, isn't she? I heard she's from the Jeju tutorial dungeon."
Yō.
The person frequently mentioned in the diary was actually someone I was familiar with.
There were many people named Yō, but several pieces of evidence convinced me.
She was stronger than other awakeners. She still had black hair despite being awakened. Most importantly, she murmured the name 'Rika' while being tortured.
That's right. She was mentioned a few times in the Inunaki Tunnel episode.
Manyo Neko's real name was Rika, and she had a childhood friend named Yō.
If I hadn't conquered the Inunaki Tunnel, I wouldn't have been able to request this meeting.
Fate is mysterious.
"Nya. It's true that Yō was spirited away to a Korean island…"
"I've been investigating the Jeju dungeon recently. It's linked to a troublesome anomaly. I need to hear your friend's testimony."
For reference, the Magical Girl Association was extremely exclusive to outsiders.
From naming their group 'Magical Girl' 'Association,' it was clear they cared little for public opinion.
"Nya, if it's a request from the Undateikeo, I'll comply. Got it!"
Also, I had received a plaque of appreciation from their leader, known as the Grand Shaman, naming me an 'Honorary Magical Girl.'
I didn't appreciate it much.
In any case, in a society run on networks, my request was easily fulfilled.
Soon, I met with Yō, whose Magical Girl name was Obsidian Qin.
"You wanted to see me?"
Among the many eccentrics in the Magical Girl Association, she was relatively normal.
Obsidian Qin covered her mouth with a black mask marked with an 'X.' For those who experienced the COVID era, this could be seen as fashion.
"Yes. We met briefly during the Inunaki Tunnel incident, right? Nice to see you again."
"Ah… Yes. Thank you very much for that time."
"I heard you conquered the tutorial dungeon at Seongsan Ilchulbong in Jeju."
"…"
"There's an anomaly suspected to have originated there. I need your testimony to gauge its danger. Can you tell me what happened in the tutorial dungeon?"
I was cautious when bringing this up.
According to the diary, this person had likely been tortured by the diary's owner.
If even a fraction of the diary was true, Obsidian Qin would have a deep-seated trauma.
People usually react negatively when such buried topics are brought up.
A flinch or a shudder.
"That's news to me. Was there an anomaly so dangerous that the Undertaker would be interested?"
But Obsidian Qin's reaction was neither.
Her puzzled look contained only curiosity. It was too calm for someone with trauma.
Despite sensing something odd, I continued my inquiry.
"…Have you seen this figure before?"
The photo I took out showed the 'hairy corpse.'
Finally, Obsidian Qin said, "Ah—" as if she recognized it.
But still, her reaction was strange for someone who had been deeply hurt.
"…I think I know who it is. Is this person related to what you want to know?"
"Yes. Any information, no matter how small, would be helpful."
"I can share, but…"
Obsidian Qin frowned.
I tensed. This might be the moment I learned about the third Regressor.
"I'm not sure if it'll help. Honestly, I don't know much about her."
Her lips moved slowly beneath the black mask.
"—She was so weak that she died almost as soon as the tutorial dungeon began."
-x-X-x-
The Impostor III
Kuro.
The nickname of the 'diary owner,' whose name hadn't appeared throughout the diary, was Kuro.
Note that this was a nickname, not her real name. Even Obsidian Qin couldn't know the diary owner's real name.
"Kuro never talked to anyone."
And probably no one knew.
"Weren't you in the same group?"
"Yes, she was in our group because she was Japanese like us. But she always followed at the back, never actively trying to do anything or join in."
"..."
In layman's terms, she was an outcast. An outsider.
You know how, even on a school trip, there's always that one kid? While the other kids form a tight group following the teacher, this kid stays at the very back, asserting, 'Don't worry about me, I'm just enjoying the scenery.'
Kuro was exactly that type.
Life as an outcast became much harsher after the end of the world than before.
In this era, social skills were not just a 'nice to have' trait; they were directly linked to human survival.
"If she was such a loner, she wouldn't have been treated well in the group, right?"
"Exactly. She just stood by and watched when fighting the monsters. I remember she wasn't even included in the distribution of spoils given by the fairies."
"..."
"But we didn't kick her out of the group. She didn't cause any trouble. Frankly speaking, we thought that if monsters attacked from the rear, Kuro would be the first to be sacrificed."
"She was just a pawn, a sacrificial lamb?"
"To be honest, yes."
...That image was completely different from what I had felt while reading the diary.
In the diary, Kuro, though twisted, at least seemed to carry her weight in the group.
Moreover, as the entries progressed, there were hints that her power had grown. It was said she could fend off the centaur tribe's attack alone.
Were all those testimonies lies? Was the diary I picked up just the delusions of a lonely person?
"However... Thinking back after hearing from you, Undateikeo, there were some odd things."
"Any detail, no matter how small, is fine. Feel free to speak."
Obsidian Qin furrowed her brow, as if searching through faded memories.
"Kuro slept a lot."
I blinked.
"Sleep?"
"Yes, sleep. You know how everyone stays alert because monsters can appear anytime, right? But Kuro was strangely calm when she slept, despite being nervous when awake."
"..."
"And this might sound strange, but every day she slept, her arm became more hairy. Yes, just like in the photo you showed, Undateikeo."
The Monkey's Paw.
Humans who draw power from anomalies become more like them.
If someone relied on the Monkey's Paw, they would eventually degenerate into a form similar to a monkey.
"When hair suddenly appeared on her arm, we were alarmed. We thought it might be a mysterious disease or curse. So we subdued Kuro and searched her belongings."
"What was in her backpack?"
"...A monster's hand, a normal notebook, and some snacks. We naturally tried to confiscate the hand, but."
But we couldn't.
"When we tried to take it, the hand went wild with tremendous strength. Several people in our group were knocked out instantly."
"Huh."
"Fortunately, no one was seriously injured. But in the commotion, Kuro escaped. The monster's hand seemed to follow her. We were bewildered and unnerved... so we let her disappear."
"You never reunited with Kuro?"
"No."
Obsidian Qin looked down at the photo on the table.
"I was curious about what happened to her, but now she has turned into such a hairy creature. It must have been a curse of some sort."
"..."
I talked with Obsidian Qin about various things until evening and then parted ways.
Just before leaving the shrine, I asked Obsidian Qin, who came out to see me off.
"Oh, one last thing."
"Yes?"
"Did a large number of Japanese people die at the start when you ran the tutorial dungeon in Jeju Island? Like, about 16 people near the dungeon entrance?"
Obsidian Qin shook his head.
"No, nothing like that happened. Our group had a high survival rate."
"I see. Thank you."
"No problem. Take care."
I quietly descended the shrine's steps.
Now then.
What is the truth of the incident?
The Monkey's Paw definitely did something. Trusting Obsidian Qin's testimony, it was clear that the diary didn't depict reality as it was.
"Hmm."
I wrote a small sentence on the back of the diary.
[Old Man Scho is a fool].
And when I moved to the next cycle, I picked up the same diary at Seongsan Ilchulbong.
When I opened the pages, I couldn't find the words [Old Man Scho is a fool].
"――Ah."
Only then did I realize the way the Monkey's Paw granted wishes, the nature of this diary, and the truth about the 'False Regressor.'
The answer was simple.
"This is a 'dream diary,' Dok-seo."
Dok-seo blinked.
"A... dream diary?"
"Yes. You've heard of it, right? It's written for psychological counseling purposes or to experience lucid dreaming. Anyway, this item is a 'notebook recording what happened in dreams.'"
"I've heard of it... What? Then everything written in this notebook is just fantasies that happened in dreams?"
"Something like that."
I picked up the notebook and flipped through it.
"Didn't you notice anything strange?"
"Strange?"
"Yes. The diary claims time repeats infinitely from the 5th day. But somehow, this diary alone 'maintains its contents without being affected by the regression.'"
"...! Ah! Ah!"
"So you noticed."
I smiled.
"Items like my cane-sword Do-hwa or the logout game's laptop I gave you, those are special items that maintain their form through regression. Naturally, if real regression happens, the diary's contents should reset. But the diary continued."
"Then is the diary like those special items you have, something that persists through regression...?"
"That was a possibility, but I tested it myself, and it wasn't."
[Old Man Scho is a fool].
The sentence I wrote as a test was neatly gone in the next cycle.
In the end, this diary was nothing special. Just an ordinary notebook.
"So the conclusion is simple. Someone dreaming about repeated regression wrote this diary."
"Ah... Wait, but then, didn't the Monkey's Paw deceive Kuro by pretending to grant her wish?"
Dok-seo snatched the notebook from my hand and opened to the part titled "Day 4".
1. Please don't create any side effects for my wishes.
2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn't made.
3. Give me luck. Prevent any 'accidental misfortunes' from befalling me, like getting hit by a falling rock.
"Here. This."
Dok-seo pressed her finger on the first wish.
"Look carefully. She clearly wished for no side effects from her wish."
"She did."
"But if the Monkey's Paw just showed her a dream where she was a max-luck regressor, but in reality, she remained a powerless outcast, wouldn't that be fraud?"
I smiled.
"Dok-seo, you lack sensitivity to anomalies."
"What? What nonsense?"
"Think deeply about the Monkey's Paw. It's not a 'wish-granting being' in the first place. It's a 'side-effect-creating being.' That's the Monkey's Paw."
Humans always want benefits without losses.
In other words, they have no conscience.
The anomaly says, 'In all things, if there's an advantage, there's also a disadvantage.'
If you gain something, you must lose something.
'Luck and misfortune are equal in total.'
This is the principle the Monkey's Paw adheres to.
"In that sense, the name [Monkey's Paw] doesn't reflect its essence well. It should be called [Pros and Cons] or [Total Luck Law]."
"The Total Luck Law..."
Dok-seo muttered blankly.
I nodded.
Total Luck Law.
That was the real name of this anomaly.
"The Total Luck Law works like this. First, a person wishes for 'luck.' Then the anomaly judges the same amount of 'misfortune' to balance it."
"Ah...?"
In short, the Monkey's Paw is like a merchant's hand exchanging luck and misfortune.
"One day, a customer suddenly demanded free luck. That was Kuro. Now, how would the merchant, who has been running a smooth business, feel?"
"...What kind of brat is this?"
"Exactly. It's troublesome."
Of course, the anomaly doesn't feel 'trouble.'
But 'errors' occur.
When a situation against its essence is forced, the anomaly will find a way to correct the error.
The Total Luck Law was no different.
"Therefore."
I took out a pen.
Scribble, scribble.
I drew an arrow next to the "4th Day" in the diary and added my interpretation on the blank page.
"The Total Luck Law had no choice but to twist Kuro's wish. Like this."
1. Please don't create any side effects for my wishes.
→
(1) Any luck must be matched by equivalent misfortune. This is what Kuro called 'side effects.'
(2) If there are no hidden aspects or side effects, there is no luck. Kuro's wish is essentially not to wish
for any luck.
(3) Therefore, Kuro made no wishes in this reality. Her wishes are granted 'elsewhere.'
(4) In 'elsewhere,' the Total Luck Law need not apply. Kuro can enjoy nearly infinite luck there.
(5) Since the luck enjoyed there doesn't need misfortune, Kuro in reality faces no misfortune.
(6) Kuro in reality has neither luck nor misfortune. Thus, her wish for no hidden aspects or side effects is granted.
Dok-seo's jaw dropped.
"No way..."
"Do you understand now?"
"No side effects... Ah, even the most pleasant dreams don't cause side effects in reality... Wow, really. anomalies shouldn't be used lightly..."
I was satisfied with Dok-seo's muttering. I had hoped she would realize that valuable lesson from the beginning.
"The problem doesn't end here. The second wish also brought tremendous aftermath."
2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn't made.
I tapped the second wish with my pen.
"This removed the Monkey's Paw's restrictions."
"Removed the restrictions?"
"As you know, the Monkey's Paw allows only three wish-misfortune exchanges. It's a sort of rule. But Kuro asked for the restriction to be removed."
Kuro probably thought she was being clever, inserting a loophole for her benefit.
But the 'side effect' she was so wary of was realized in a completely different way.
"This ultimately freed the Total Luck Law anomaly from its chains."
"...What do you mean?"
"This."
2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn't made.
→
(1) A human's wish is essentially 'luck.'
(2) Removing the limit on the number of wishes means removing the limit on 'accumulating luck.'
(3) Luck and misfortune must always maintain an equal total.
(4) Therefore, if the limit on luck is removed, the limit on misfortune must also be removed. From now on, humans must exchange unlimited amounts of luck-misfortune, beyond just three times.
Dok-seo froze.
"What? What? Whaaat...?"
"Focus on Kuro's wish, Dok-seo. If she had wished for [removing the limit only for me], there wouldn't have been a major side effect."
But Kuro made one crucial mistake, whether consciously or unconsciously.
"Kuro asked for the [removal of the limit on wishes] itself from the Monkey's Paw."
"So...?"
"So, the second wish applied to all humanity, not just Kuro. You and I are not exceptions. If we take more 'luck' than necessary, equivalent 'misfortune' will follow."
"Eeeeeeeek?"
Dok-seo screamed.
"We, us too?"
"Yes."
"Why!"
"Because Kuro, an unknown regressor, wished for it from the Monkey's Paw."
"God, what a nuisance!"
"A complete nuisance."
That's right.
Though we took a long detour, the crux of this story was simple.
-Why doesn't the Undertaker hoard 'lucky opportunities' like protagonists in other stories?
Now, the answer is revealed to you.
The reason is simple. This world already has an anomaly called 'Total Luck Law' as its foundation.
"Haven't you felt it? Even though we have two lucky regressors and Noh Do-hwa, a workaholic, forming the National Road Management Corps, even though the situation is improving, inexplicable misfortunes keep happening."
"Huh. Could it be?"
"It's because of the Total Luck Law. In this world, trying to freeload brings immediate catastrophic consequences."
"Aaaaargh! Ugh! Aaaaargh! What kind of cursed game is this!"
Dok-seo wailed.
In short, in our world, 'hoarding lucky opportunities' is impossible by law.
For someone like Dok-seo, who considers herself the protagonist of the world, it was utterly despairing.
I took a sip of my now cold Café au Lait. It tasted good even cold.
"Well, don't worry too much."
As an experienced regressor, I always had countermeasures against the Total Luck Law.
In fact, I was grateful for this anomaly. It was quite useful in many ways.
"How can I not worry... Wait! I ate the Ten Legs steak earlier! Does that mean I'll face equivalent misfortune now? What did you feed me, old man!"
But that is another story.
We'll save that tale for another chapter.
There is an epilogue.
After discovering that the vast unconscious realm of humanity housed 'Dreams within Dreams,' 'Bad Endings,' and 'Parallel Worlds,' I often delved into the unconscious world.
The purpose was simple. Regularly cleaning humanity's unconscious storage so people could always have sweet dreams.
"Hmm?"
"Groan... Groan..."
Thus, while I was beating Old Man Scho's bad ending today, I sensed a strange presence from the south of the Korean Peninsula.
After finishing with Old Man Scho, I headed south.
The southern coast of Korea. There, Seongsan Ilchulbong stood tall, as if a giant version had been copied and pasted from reality.
"..."
Thud, thud—
At the height comparable to Everest, 'someone' was rolling something down.
It was a human head.
That someone had long black hair. Her hair was so long that her face was obscured.
Thud, thud, thud—
She kept piling heads beside her and rolling them down towards the crater of Seongsan Ilchulbong, expressionlessly. Meaninglessly.
Like a reversed Sisyphus.
Suddenly, I thought.
3. Give me luck. Prevent any 'accidental misfortunes' from befalling me, like getting hit by a falling rock.
Kuro wished to eliminate all accidental misfortunes.
How did the Monkey's Paw interpret that wish?
Would it not be concerned with 'inevitable misfortune' instead of 'accidental misfortune'?
Despite numerous myths and anecdotes warning of human arrogance, people still think lightly, 'If I change the form of the wish, I can still use the anomaly.'
Why be satisfied with just three wishes?
Why not ask for infinite wishes?
If it were me, I would have used the anomaly more wisely.
Even if
Hubris.
That might have been the inevitable misfortune given to Kuro.
I turned my back and walked away from the southern sea.
Thud, thud, thud—
Today, too, in someone's dream, a girl would be rolling severed heads.
-x-X-x-
The Lucky One I
As mentioned in the previous story, in this world, 'monopolizing fortuitous encounters' is impossible.
More precisely, it's possible, but the aftermath is unpredictable.
Like eating a high-carb dessert cake that's bad for your health.
"Hmm."
And I pondered the same way someone on a diet would when faced with a delicious cake.
On the table lay the Monkey's Paw.
'Where does fortuitous encounter end and pure luck begin?'
For example... yes.
I toured the best restaurants in Busan to quickly establish a connection with Dang Seo-rin.
A tour composed entirely of her favorite dishes.
This information was gathered by me personally, over repeated cycles.
Would the Total Luck Law anomaly consider such knowledge obtained by a regressor as 'luck'?
'If so, that's quite unfair. It would mean my regression ability is also considered luck.'
I smirked.
After some research, it seemed the Total Luck Law wasn't that strict.
I had sacrificed sweat, time, and sometimes my life to obtain the knowledge of a regressor.
These were not random strokes of luck but the result of relentless effort.
Thus, even if I consumed elixirs like the 'Heart of Ten Legs,' there were no side effects. Dok-seo's worries were unfounded.
'Hmm. Then what constitutes true luck?'
I couldn't help but be intrigued.
'Should I test it?'
Coincidentally, it was the 590th cycle. For someone like me who enjoyed 'vacation cycles' every 5 or 10 cycles, it was perfect timing.
I finished my early schedule (recruiting the Saintess, enlisting Noh Do-hwa, etc.) after the regression.
Then I headed straight to Jeju Island.
The tutorial dungeon in Jeju Island had already been cleared. It opened much earlier than the one at Busan Station, so it was expected.
I picked up the Monkey's Paw near the top of Seongsan Ilchulbong, beside the already furry Kuro, and made my wish.
"Monkey's Paw, Monkey's Paw. Grant my wish."
-...
"First, give me endless luck."
Twitch. The Monkey's Paw trembled. This must be the correct way to make a wish.
"In other words, let me enjoy luck that I would never normally experience. Luck that seems nearly impossible."
-...!
"Second, let the side effects of this luck start exactly ten years from now."
-...! ...!
"Third, even if I make my wishes, delay turning my body into a furry creature for ten years. That's also a misfortune, isn't it?"
-...
At that moment, strange laughter echoed around me.
-Ukikikiki! Hee! Ukiki! Hik!
Monkey laughter. No, it was more like an AI mimicking monkey laughter, with an oddly mechanical sound.
Along with that sound, the Monkey's Paw suddenly disintegrated into powder.
"Oh."
If I had to interpret it, it seemed to say, 'Your wish is granted.'
The powder was all absorbed into my arm, but at a glance, there were no changes to my body.
'So, luck begins now.'
What events awaited me?
I stood at the summit of Seongsan Ilchulbong for a moment. But nothing happened.
"Hmm."
Was the wish granted properly?
I returned to the mainland, half-believing, half-doubting.
Despite being busy with settling the National Road Management Corps and various schedules, no overwhelming 'luck' occurred.
Just as I thought the Total Luck Law might not be so powerful and my wish might have failed—
Knock, knock.
Someone knocked on my office door. Since I hadn't yet subdued Inunaki Tunnel in this cycle, I was temporarily staying at the National Road Management Corps headquarters.
"Who is it?"
-I've heard the greatest swordsman in Korea is here, so I came to visit.
"Hmm?"
The voice of the visitor was one I had never heard before.
This was quite remarkable. As I mentioned, this happened in the 590th cycle. By this time, I had met almost every person living in Busan.
As Old Man Scho would say, 'just in case there's a [Teleporter] somewhere in this world,' I usually tried to befriend unfamiliar people.
But a completely new voice?
And this person claimed to be looking for the greatest swordsman in Korea. Quite a character, yet someone I didn't know?
"I don't know what brings you here, but please come in."
-Then I'll be entering.
The door opened.
How should I describe it?
An incredibly handsome young man stood there.
"Uh..."
Those who have heard my tales would know that I don't usually comment on others' appearances.
If I used expressions like 'beautiful' or 'pretty,' it meant the person's appearance had an overwhelming charm that couldn't be ignored.
Just as you must call a mountain a mountain, beautiful things must be acknowledged as beautiful.
This boy's face was so 'irresistible,' it seemed like a miracle bestowed upon humanity by nature.
Therefore, the boy standing before me had a radiance in his appearance unlike any man I had ever seen.
Gray hair. Not the dull color of aging, but a vibrant shade. It was proof that the stranger was an awakener.
His fashion was peculiar. Traditional Korean clothing? No, more like tattered hemp clothes from the Joseon Dynasty.
Even with such a -30 debuff in attire, it didn't diminish the visitor's aura at all.
I was surprised again.
I hadn't seen this person once in 590 cycles?
Even if I hadn't met him, his looks should have been frequently mentioned on SG Net.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was staring at your face. My apologies."
"No problem."
His voice, too, was remarkably refreshing.
Only then did I realize how strange the visitor's speech was.
His voice was so striking that I hadn't noticed the content.
If there were a male version of Go Yuri, it might be at this level.
'Weird. This speech pattern is familiar. Where have I heard it before...?'
I couldn't recall.
The gray-haired boy spoke very politely.
"More importantly, are you the greatest swordsman in Korea, the one who slashed two hearts of Ten Legs, the Undertaker?"
"Yes? Oh, yes. While I had help from other awakeners, it's true that my alias is the Undertaker."
"Hmm. I have come to the right place."
The boy tapped his waist. Even his finger movements were elegant.
A sword hilt hung at his waist. It looked like a wooden sword, not a real one.
"I am also on the path of a warrior, albeit clumsily. I have heard of your fame and came despite the rudeness of an initial meeting. Would you kindly exchange a bout with me?"
"...Oh."
Wait a minute.
'Referring to oneself as a warrior? An aluminum sword?'
――A terrifying premonition struck me.
It felt like standing at the edge of a swamp where I couldn't use my lightness skill and had to wade in wearing sandals, a strange feeling.
But I, the Undertaker, known for mental resilience, suppressed the unease and spoke calmly.
"...Hmm. I'm always up for martial practice, but may I know your name?"
"Oh dear. Look at me. I forgot to introduce myself. As I age, I should be more courteous, but I still forget such things. Hoho."
Swipe.
The boy, who looked about eighteen, clasped his hands together and bowed. It was a perfectly executed bow, reminiscent of old Hong Kong movies.
"I am called Sword Marquess. A noble of the defunct Sirland Duchy and the Sect Leader of the Mount Hua Sect."
"..."
"I recently attained enlightenment and reversed my aging. But rather than being content with this state, I believe a warrior must continue to train. Thus, I am seeking strong warriors across the land. Undertaker, I humbly request a duel with you!"
"..."
This is driving me crazy.
The Sword Marquess... This self-proclaimed crazy martial arts fanatic was incredibly strong.
"Hoho! Indeed, the world is vast, and there are many masters in the martial arts realm! To think there was such a great swordsman in this remote region. I have learned much!"
"Uh, yes..."
I won the duel. But winning against as a 590-cycle regressor was a given.
The issue was the process.
The Sword Marquess fought me to a standstill for 101 rounds.
Aside from anomalies like the Sword Demon from the Dream Within a Dream vast void, he was at a level that could claim to be the best in the world.
He had the power to hold a front line against anomalies alone, this gray-haired maniac before me.
It was an excellent addition to our forces.
So I should have been happy.
But...
"Master, you are quite skilled..."
"Hoho! Although I am older, how can I accept such compliments from a younger, superior swordsman? Don't make this old man feel embarrassed."
"Yes..."
"Hmm! I will stay in Dongnae for a while. I am not yet ready to restore the glory of the Mount Hua Sect. I intend to train solely until I can at least match your skill, Undertaker."
"..."
Why did this feel so off?
Was this crazy martial arts fanatic really like this back in the day? Was he actually this good with the sword?
Am I supposed to believe this, anomaly?
"Heh."
"...?"
No, this was all an illusion by Go Yuri!
Damn it. To think she used such a trick without me noticing! Go Yuri, you are a terrifying child...!
I tried various methods to torture my cheeks but I didn't wake from the dream.
Damn it.
"Why are you doing that? It's not good for a young man to have a habit of self-harm."
I'm older than you by thousands of times.
No, that's not the point.
"Sir. You mentioned you experienced enlightenment and reversed your aging?"
"Yes, that's right."
"As you know, the world is dangerous these days, and such an event could be the work of an anomaly. Could you tell me specifically how you achieved this enlightenment?"
"Ah, no problem. The essence of enlightenment should be shared among friends!"
The Sword Marquess stroked his chin.
As if there were an invisible long beard there.
To the point where this performance art reached a level of expertise.
"I was meditating on the beach of Yuldoguk when it happened."
So, you were fishing on the beach of Ulleungdo? Got it.
"Suddenly, even though it wasn't night yet, the sky beyond the horizon turned into the Milky Way."
"...?"
"That's right. I suddenly had a moment of enlightenment. I realized the boundary between day and night is merely a human distinction, a fleeting moment in the endless cycle of time, where light and darkness alternate. Everything in the world is like that. Day and night hold their own beauty, and it is the privilege of individuals to appreciate these moments. Hoho! Thus, my desire to prolong this privilege is not selfish but a dedication to all transient beings!"
I apologize for transcribing this lengthy monologue, but the Sword Marquess really said all that.
I wanted to interrupt, but it was tricky. Sometimes I forgot, but this man (formerly old) held the key to our food supply.
I couldn't risk offending him.
"So... after attaining enlightenment...?"
"I woke up to find I had reversed my aging. Hohoho."
What is that?
That's just pure luck—oh.
Oh!
'Pure luck!'
I finally remembered the wish I made to the Monkey's Paw in Jeju Island a year ago.
That's right.
The Sword Marquess 'luckily' 'happened' to achieve enlightenment on the beach and reversed his aging.
This was sheer luck. An encounter that had never occurred in 590 cycles!
I glanced at the Sword Marquess. The old young man was laughing heartily.
And.
As will be revealed from now on, the Sword Marquess's reversal of aging was just the beginning of the 'lucky' events I would experience in the 590th cycle.
-x-X-x-
The Lucky One II
[Mr. Undertaker, there's a big problem.]
One night, the Saintess sent a message through Constellation Talk.
I jumped out of bed. It was 3 AM. For her to wake me at such an ungodly hour, it must have been an urgent event.
"What's going on?"
[You mentioned before that in the 7th year, a 'Meteor Shower' anomaly would appear in the night sky and devastate Gyeongsangnam-do.]
"Yes, that's correct."
[Well, right now, an anomaly suspected to be the Meteor Shower has been observed over the East Sea. The observation point is Ulleungdo.]
What?
[A photo has also been uploaded to SG Net. Since it's early morning, there are only 14 views, but please check it.]
I quickly changed out of my pajamas and rushed out.
The Sword Marquess, who had been sleeping curled up like a cat by my doorstep, followed suit.
"What's happening at this hour, Sword Duke?"
I won't explain how the Sword Marquess started calling me 'Sword Duke' instead of Undertaker. There were too many things in the world I didn't want to explain, and most of those things were related to lunatics.
"There's an anomaly appearing over the East Sea right now."
"Hah! Such a vile thing daring to launch a night attack! Despicable!"
Tap, tap, tap—
The two of us sprinted across Haeundae Beach and naturally leapt into the sea.
It was like stepping on thin ice.
For me, it was aura; for the Sword Marquess, it was internal energy, harnessed to step and leap across the water.
"An anomaly in the middle of the sea, huh. I wonder if it's an omen of good or bad fortune. I suppose it's better than appearing on land, but it seems the Sword Duke thinks otherwise."
Of course, it was an omen of bad fortune.
My 'Regressor's Schedule' was as meticulously planned as if written by an obsessive-compulsive person with a severe anxiety disorder about time management.
While I allowed for about a week's error margin for most events, the timing of 'anomaly appearances' was planned down to the minute.
'The Meteor Shower isn't supposed to appear for several more years. Could killing the Butterfly Effect in Beijing have caused this?'
This would severely disrupt my project to foster camaraderie among the awakeners under the guise of the Meteor Shower subjugation.
My heart pounded with anxiety.
When we reached the vicinity of Ulleungdo and looked up, the night sky was filled with brilliant, multicolored streaks.
I muttered in astonishment.
"It really is the Meteor Shower..."
In truth, subduing the Meteor Shower itself wasn't a problem.
A 590-cycle regressor couldn't possibly fail to take down an early-stage boss of the Korean Peninsula.
But as I mentioned, this would completely throw off my plans.
How would I strengthen the unity of the Korean Awakeners' Alliance? How would I solidify Dang Seo-rin's position as the leader?
Surrounded by the night sky and the sea, my thoughts churned like waves.
"Huh?"
Suddenly, a different light flickered beyond the Meteor Shower.
It flashed quickly.
A 'disc-shaped' object rapidly crossed the sky and collided head-on with the Meteor Shower.
-Splatter! Splatter! Little stars?
The Meteor Shower seemed puzzled. It tilted its head, metaphorically speaking.
For reference, an artificial sea-like space had spread around the Meteor Shower.
Naturally, the 'disc-shaped flying object' that hit the surface of the night sky was thrown off course.
Thunk, thunk, thunk—
The disc bounced off the Meteor Shower's surface, like a stone skipping across water.
"..."
My jaw dropped.
'No way, that's a UFO?'
Indeed.
A mysterious flying object in the shape of a disc.
An alien species with the ultimate combat power but, unfortunately, with a Pokémon fire attribute vulnerable to water. As soon as it landed in the East Sea, it dissolved like sugar in water.
"Oh, oh, oh—oh oh oh?"
Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk.
The UFO kept skipping.
-Ah? Ah? Little stars.
The Meteor Shower, bombarded repeatedly, died on the spot.
No, really, it died.
Meteor Shower subjugation complete.
Without the Korean awakeners lifting a finger, the early-stage boss exited the scene.
Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk.
Meanwhile, the UFO skipped 89 more times along the Meteor Shower's waves.
As a result, the UFO, which should have crashed in the middle of the East Sea, veered off in a completely unexpected direction.
Northward.
Not into the sea, but towards the land—North Korea.
"No, no!"
I screamed. My cry was genuine.
"Huh? What do you mean, no, Sword Duke?"
"If that crashes on land, it's the end! There are 120 aliens in that saucer, and each one is stronger than you! It'll be a catastrophe!"
"What?"
The Sword Marquess's expression changed.
"Then we must pursue it at once! I need to learn from them!"
"Yeah. Damn it."
Despite the Sword Marquess's madness, he was right about needing to pursue it.
I pushed my aura to its maximum and chased after the UFO, determined not to lose sight of it.
The Sword Marquess shouted behind me, "Wait, Sword Duke! Wait for me, Sword Duke!" but I ignored him.
I had no time to humor the ramblings of an old young man.
"Huff, huff. Huff, huff...!"
For the first time in a while, I ran until I was out of breath. I had run so far that I lost contact with the Saintess.
To summarize, the UFO crash-landed even further north than North Korea.
Specifically, between Shenyang and Sinuiju. In the region known as Manchuria, the aliens were crawling out.
-Screech?
-Screech. Screech.
They looked like disgusting cockroaches spilling out of their lair.
But these cockroaches were strong. Very strong.
I hid in the bushes and observed the aliens from afar.
Despite being a sci-fi species, the aliens moved naturally, using footwork to explore the surroundings.
Well, if the genre were space opera instead of sci-fi, it wouldn't be too different from traditional martial arts.
-Screech?
One alien tilted its head and dipped its foot into a stream.
Splash, splash.
A commendable spirit of challenge, but footbaths benefiting health was a privilege reserved for humans and Japanese macaques.
The alien dissolved from toe to head.
-Screech!
-Screech! Screech! Screech!
The aliens panicked.
They were probably saying things like, 'Oh my God! How can such a terrible substance exist?' 'You witness your kind's body melting like candle wax just from touching it, you roll a SAN check.'
The aliens became even more frantic.
-Screech!
-Screech! Screech!
They pulled out laser guns and started gathering rocks, soil, and minerals.
Bzzz—
Using incomprehensible technology, the Earth's minerals were appropriated by the aliens.
-Screech, screech!
-Screech. Screech.
The aliens used their lasers to collect materials and began building something.
The minerals hit by the laser beams floated in the air and were shaped in real-time. Into walls, pillars, and mysterious interior decorations.
In less than thirty minutes, a bizarre structure rose in the middle of Manchuria.
To compare its appearance to something on Earth... a termite mound?
But it was black. The surface of the termite mound was covered in a dark, lava-like liquid that constantly flowed down. It was an abominable structure at first glance.
-Screech.
-Screech, screech.
The aliens seemed to be admiring their craftsmanship, embracing each other and dancing joyfully.
They enjoyed their dance party for a while before entering their termite mound—no, their black ant fortress.
"..."
What was this?
Was that sinister fortress a foothold for invading Earth? Or an antenna tower signaling their refugee ships still wandering in space?
"Huff! Huff! Huff! Sword Duke. Finally... Huff, I caught up. As expected of a master of lightness skills, I'm late..."
"Shh. Be quiet. They'll hear us."
"Huff... Huff? That grotesque tower, what is it?"
"I don't know. Other than that the aliens built it."
I dug a proper trench for camouflage and went into hiding. Even if I had to abandon this cycle, I intended to uncover the aliens' purpose.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I didn't have to stay hidden for long.
The reason the aliens built that bizarre structure soon became clear.
Thud, thud, thud—
It started to rain.
From the aliens' perspective, 'the substance of death' bombarded from the sky.
The Earth's specialty, H₂O, poured endlessly on their black ant fortress.
The dark liquid flowing down the surface of the black ant fortress constantly drained away.
Peek—
Long after the rain stopped, the aliens peeked out from the fortress.
-Screech?
-Screech, screech.
-Screech.
Surprisingly, the aliens were intact.
For starters, their armor had changed slightly.
Should I call it a raincoat? Anyway, they wore something akin to a black raincoat.
It seemed they had been tirelessly sewing inside the black ant fortress.
-Screech!
But anyone who has worn a raincoat knows it's not entirely waterproof.
The newly modified armor wasn't perfect either. Walking around the Earth's humid surface for too long caused
them to gradually melt.
What were they, Ultraman with a three-minute limit?
In any case, the fact that they could hope to survive on this hellish, doomsday planet seemed precious to them.
-Screech! Screech!
The aliens gradually expanded the black ant fortress.
Not by building upwards, but by extending the real estate sideways.
Have you heard of 'The Line,' a project ambitiously pursued by Saudi Arabia but greatly downsized? Think of the Great Wall of China.
In short, the aliens' black ant fortress started to resemble a 'wall.' As they kept expanding sideways, it naturally took that shape.
"Huh?"
And that wall... stretched west towards the Yellow Sea and east towards the East Sea.
'No, no. Wait a minute.'
Eventually, the aliens' 'Black Wall' spanned across Manchuria horizontally.
In other words.
'If a Monster Wave occurs... it would be blocked by the Black Wall!'
Indeed, that's what happened.
A few years later, when the ocean-class anomaly 'Monster Wave' swept across the world and finally reached the Korean Peninsula.
But just before it could land on the Korean Peninsula, the Monster Wave faced an unexpected obstacle.
-Grr?
-Grrr?
A crappy-looking wall blocked their path.
At first, the Monster Wave wasn't fazed. It advanced boldly. A mere wall wasn't going to stop giants like Wall Maria.
-Screech!
-Screech! Screech!
The problem was that each of the 116 remaining aliens (some had died) boasted combat skills on par with Captain Levi.
Faced with these 116 Levi-level aliens, the Monster Wave was annihilated.
In the process of defeating an army of 200,000 monsters, not a single alien died.
Of course, the Monster Wave had an endless supply of reinforcements, so it repeated its attack the next month and the month after that. Each time, it was crushed.
Naturally, the Korean Peninsula south of the Black Wall remained safe.
Without needing Mo Gwang-seo's Eastern Holy State performance or Sim Ah-ryeon's Zero Requiem plan.
Without suffering any damage, the Korean Peninsula was completely free from the threat of the 'Monster Wave,' which had been deemed virtually impossible to subjugate.
"Is this... for real?"
My jaw dropped.
To be honest, my jaw remained dropped for several years.
So the real strategy against the 'Monster Wave' was to somehow use the Meteor Shower to skip a UFO across the sea, crash it into Manchuria, and let the aliens build their wall to block the Monster Wave?
And I'm supposed to believe this, anomaly?
"Lucky..."
Noh Do-hwa commented, sipping her coffee after hearing my story.
I couldn't help but notice that her dark circles seemed lighter than in other cycles. Probably because everything she attempted was going well.
"But isn't this due to your wish to the 'Monkey's Paw' or something? Heh. I don't care, but aren't you going to be screwed in a few years...?"
"..."
"I'm really looking forward to what kind of crazy blues will hit you. I'll be sure to get a VIP ticket and wait."
This is driving me crazy.
-x-X-x-
The Lucky One III
The luck didn't end.
While the Reverse-Great Wall was engaged in an infinite defense game against the onslaught of the continent, 'fortuitous encounters' kept happening.
[Mr. Undertaker, the 'pink entity' you warned about has been confirmed to have moved to Kyushu, Japan.]
Go Yuri, the greatest enemy of regressors and a master of gaslighting, had voluntarily left Korea.
This unprecedented good news made me want to give her a generous relocation settlement.
And that wasn't all.
[The Status Window anomaly didn't appear.]
"What?"
[We focused on the date and location you provided, but no one saw the Status Window.]
"..."
[This must also be due to the 'Monkey's Paw.']
And that wasn't all².
Luck didn't just unfold in the physical world. Even in the net community, my luck didn't waver.
In short, a wave of Three Kingdoms parodies swept through the novel serialization board on SG Net.
-Lü Bu Hides His Father (★9.9)
-Ten Attendants General (★8.7)
-[Alternative History] Ordered to March North but Woke Up in Hanzhong Instead of North Korea?! (★9.2)
-The Three Brothers Always Slept Under the Same Blanket [19+ Complete Version] (★9.8)
-Reincarnated as Zhang Kai, Who Killed Cao Cao's Father on the First Day (★9.9)
-Reincarnated as a Yellow Turban Rebel with a Copy of Capital in My Hand (★9.6)
Everywhere you looked, the rankings were dominated by Three Kingdoms parodies.
These days, the Three Kingdoms was totally YOUNG and MZ content.
Not only the novel serialization board but also the free board, which was the main part of SG Net, was filled with Three Kingdoms discussions without cooldown.
-Anonymous: I thought the Three Kingdoms <<< was just content for old people, but after reading the novel and the history book, there's nothing like it.
-Anonymous: How great was Ma Su's mountain climbing? Let's find out by forming a mountain climbing team for a trip to China. We'll schedule it according to each guild's vacation time. Sorry, but due to safety concerns abroad, we only accept participants capable of diving to a depth of 600 meters or more. Interested? Contact me!
-dolLHOuse: What's wrong with SG Net these days? Did everyone get prescription reading glasses?
└Anonymous: There's still a full HP newbie who hasn't read the Three Kingdoms? LOL
└dolLHOuse: I read it?
└Anonymous: So, which faction do you support?
└dolLHOuse: Anyone but the big-eared guy. Aren't all the characters just commoners who end up with the Five Barbarians and Sixteen Kingdoms ending?
└Anonymous: Blocking you.
-[Samcheon] WitchJudge: The night sky is beautiful tonight. Did the Prime Minister feel this way when he looked up at the stars in Wuzhang Plains?
-OldManGoryeo: Wow, seriously, I want to bury all these idiots in a coffin.
-[NRMC] Officer: We have a group in Busan that reads and discusses the original Three Kingdoms history every week. (4/6)
Before I knew it, I had been engrossed in my smartphone for six hours straight, unable to take my eyes off the community.
"Whew."
I shivered.
I had always nagged Ah-ryeon to quit her internet addict lifestyle.
Now, for the first time in 590 cycles, I understood the true joy of community engagement.
'Is this the true power of the Monkey's Paw?'
I couldn't tear myself away from SG Net.
It felt as if the smartphone screen was coated with honey made by a master craftsman just for me, the Undertaker!
"Cursed Monkey's Paw! This is a power that would have already bewitched an ordinary human!"
"..."
As Ha-yul passed through the living room, she looked at me as if I were pathetic, like a diligent younger sister would look at her unemployed older brother.
Indeed.
In the 590th cycle, I was experiencing what it was like to live the hopeful life of a cult leader.
Everything in the world was going my way!
Every business venture I touched progressed miraculously, and troubles I couldn't handle never occurred in the first place.
But I was not a cult leader.
I was an ordinary citizen who preferred the subway to a limousine. Therefore, I could sense that the name of my next stop was 'ruin' without looking at the map.
It was now the 7th year.
The 10th-year deadline I had asked the Monkey's Paw to postpone was fast approaching.
'Should I just kill myself?'
A drastic decision was needed.
'Suicide' was a route anyone who had lived a debtor's life for seven years could empathize with. For a regressor, it wasn't even that extreme.
I could just send a message on KakaoTalk saying, 'Thanks to the Total Luck Law, I enjoyed this cycle a lot^^ I'll see you in the next cycle...', and then leave the chat room, safely escaping from future debts.
Leaving this Three Kingdoms paradise was regretful, but a regressor must know how to set aside personal desires temporarily.
"Ah... I wouldn't recommend that, teacher."
An expert had a different opinion.
"Why?"
"Hmm. It might make things worse."
Cheon Yo-hwa, who listened to my concerns, gave a wry smile.
Why did I confide such a delicate matter to Cheon Yo-hwa? Because, among our members, she was the only one besides me who had a 'paranormal expert' identity.
As everyone knew, Cheon Yo-hwa had sealed the Infinite Void inside an hourglass.
Counting the anomalies from school ghost stories, she carried around about 100 Pokémon in her arsenal.
Other trainers would have sued her for exceeding the Pokémon carrying limit.
Fortunately, this world wasn't about forcing sadistic beasts to fight in a coliseum, but still, the anomalies rightfully harbored resentment towards their warden.
Led by the Infinite Void, the Hundred Tales of anomalies constantly plotted rebellion whenever they had the chance.
Cheon Yo-hwa didn't gorge on tteokbokki at the snack bar near her school every day for no reason.
Like the Saintess, the more powerful an awakener was, the closer they were to the risk of corruption.
"You think things will get worse?"
"Yes. It's just my guess, though."
"Well. The last time I checked, the 'Monkey's Paw' couldn't detect regression. It didn't have the power to give regression ability to Kuro, its original owner. So if I just close my eyes and regress, won't the debt disappear?"
"Ahaha. But because of that Kuro, the 'Monkey's Paw' ended up applying to everyone, not just one individual, right?"
"..."
"It seems like people think they are parasitic on the 'Monkey's Paw,' but I think it's the opposite. The 'Monkey's Paw' is parasitic."
"A anomaly that parasitizes humans?"
"Yes!"
Cheon Yo-hwa clapped her hands.
Despite the serious conversation, she seemed to enjoy sharing this kind of talk with me.
After all, competing for dominance with a near-divine anomaly 365 days a year, she probably saw me as a valuable conversation partner.
There weren't many people who could empathize with the terror of anomalies like us.
"Think about it, teacher. The 'Monkey's Paw' can't get stronger on its own. It needs someone to make wishes to use those wishes as an excuse to increase its power."
"Hoh."
"To the 'Monkey's Paw,' Kuro must have been a blessing. If someone had made ordinary wishes, the 'Monkey's Paw' would have remained a mediocre anomaly. But because Kuro made such high-level wishes, the 'Monkey's Paw' grew just as powerful!"
"So if a regressor like me decides to run away, thinking that regression will solve everything..."
"The 'Monkey's Paw' might transcend regression and gain control over luck and misfortune. This is just a hypothesis."
"Hmm."
"So I don't recommend suicide. Besides, I don't want to see you dead, teacher. Hehe..."
She had a point.
Even I, who criticized Kuro's stupidity, ended up making the same foolish mistake.
The 'luck of an ordinary person' and the 'luck of a 590-cycle regressor' were inherently different.
Just consider the scale of what the 'Monkey's Paw' did this cycle.
It reversed the aging of a senile Sword Marquess.
It summoned the Meteor Shower to the East Sea earlier than expected, and perfectly timed a UFO to collide with it.
As a result, a Black Wall, which should never have existed, was created in the north of the Korean Peninsula.
In other words, the 'Monkey's Paw' had grown powerful enough to cause such high-level 'fortuitous encounters.'
According to the Library Association's classification, it should now be evaluated as an ocean-level threat.
'Have I really gotten myself into a deep mess?'
A sense of urgency crept in.
I had to resolve the situation before misfortune truly struck.
"On the contrary, I think you need to survive as persistently as possible in this cycle."
"Why?"
"If you die without experiencing the equivalent misfortune for the luck you enjoyed, that 'unpaid misfortune' might carry over to the next cycle."
"Hmm..."
I stroked my chin.
Talking with Cheon Yo-hwa stimulated my brain in a way I couldn't quite describe.
'Wait. Something good is about to come to mind...?'
At this point, I hadn't figured out the 'good idea' specifically. That would be covered in the next chapter.
However, I had grasped the general direction.
"So, according to you, I should try to be as unfortunate as possible from now on."
"Haha. ...Yes. But deliberately seeking misfortune isn't exactly something you can control. It's tricky."
"No, there is a way. A very subtle method."
"Oh? Really?"
I nodded.
Then I spoke with utmost seriousness.
"Yo-hwa."
"Yes, teacher."
"Have you heard of the 'Hate Pill'?"
"...?"
'Hate Pill.'
There is a genre, a sort of meme about it.
Cheon Yo-hwa tilted her head as if she had never heard of it, which made sense. Its origin was from across the sea in Japan.
Some people think Japan lacks creativity and originality.
-Tonkatsu? Isn't that just a variation of cutlet?
-Japanese curry? It's just Indian curry adjusted to Japanese taste.
But that's a misconception.
If you remove the [General Audience] filter from your corneas, you'll suddenly witness the creativity erupting from the Japanese archipelago like Mount Fuji.
After all, Japan is the birthplace of turning Three Kingdoms characters into gender-swapped 'TS Three Kingdoms' or erotic parodies.
There were many other inventive creations that were too controversial to mention.
Only ancient Greece had previously shown such creative power. (The Greeks impregnated their chief god's thigh and dressed their greatest hero in women's clothing.)
Anyway.
The 'Hate Pill' was another example of Japan's vibrant creativity.
-This pill reverses affection!
-It reverses affection?
-Yes. People who liked you will hate you just as much. Literally, a 'Hate Pill.'
-...?
-People who subtly showed affection towards you will suddenly curse you, wishing you dead! Don't worry, those who already disliked you will continue to do so!
-Why would you introduce such a pill into a story?
-Because the effect has an expiration date.
-...??
-After the effect ends, people will start to regret. They'll see how much the protagonist suffered due to their curses and think, 'What have I done to the person I liked? How could I say such terrible things...?'
-What's the point of that?
-Isn't it delicious to see characters regret after mistreating the protagonist?
-...???
Building a narrative over dozens of chapters to make the protagonist unhappy was highly inefficient from a practical standpoint.
Modern readers, who always seek efficiency, wanted to slap #regret #obsession #despair tags on their stories.
The solution was the 'Hate Pill.'
An instant 3-minute meal for unhappiness created by the Japanese.
In short, it was an 'Affection Reversal Pill.' Just take it to become unhappy.
How did I, the Undertaker, come to know about this obscure foreign genre?
Well...
Again, this was a story that happened around the 590th cycle.
And I devoured all the web novels, resorting to "Misery" tactics with authors around the 560th cycle.
End of explanation.
"So you plan to take the 'Hate Pill' to intentionally cause 'misfortune' and escape the Total Luck Law's grasp?"
"You understood well."
"You're truly crazy in a refined way."
Oh Dok-seo, the one who introduced me to web novels and the only one among my companions who knew about the 'Hate Pill,' nodded.
"It's a great idea. As expected of my protagonist. Let's test it immediately!"
By the way, Oh Dok-seo loved despair stories.
"But where do we find the Hate Pill? It's not mentioned in ORV."
"Ah. Dok-seo. Ginseng is sourced from Joseon, and queue cuts are from Qing. It's clear where to farm the Hate Pill."
"Oh."
That's right.
We immediately set sail for the 'origin.'
-x-X-x-
The Lucky One IV
I had often mentioned that I was highly respected by the Magical Girl Association in the Japanese archipelago.
This was partly because I frequently helped the magical girls. However, human relationships in East Asia didn't flow purely based on such pragmatic calculations.
In this land, 'true exchange' only occurred when the temporal constraints of human perception, which could only ever recognize the 'present,' were overcome.
Blood ties and regional ties.
Who you were in the present was a secondary issue. What mattered more was how long 'we' had built our bond over time, thus overcoming the temporal limits of the human race.
The Japanese had also deeply internalized this truth.
Even in a romantic comedy, no matter how many charming characters emerged, it was the childhood friend who secured 'regional ties' with the protagonist before the story even began who ultimately won. This showcased the wisdom of the Japanese.
How could I not emulate them?
Upon arriving in the archipelago to procure the 'Hate Pill,' I first sought out my old connections.
"Aah, Undertaker-san! It's been a while! How have you been?"
"Yeah. Have you been well too?"
"Yes! Oh, Dok-seo, it's been a while for you too!"
"Ah, yeah. Hi. Long time no see, sis."
Sure enough, my old acquaintance greeted me with her unique nickname for me, not just the common alias 'Undateikeo,' showing off to those around her that our relationship was special.
This was also a long-standing Japanese custom.
Her dignified manner of calling me 'Undertaker-san' instead of 'Undateikeo' silenced the other magical girls around us.
"Uehara, you seem much more lively than when you were in Busan. Is it because you're back home?"
"Hehe. Yes! Welcome to Fukuoka, Undertaker-san!"
Uehara Shino.
In my heart, her nickname was 'MacGuffin.' Koreans called her 'The Alchemist.'
Those with a good memory might recall.
Yes, Uehara Shino was one of the 'Supreme 399' forcibly summoned to the Busan Station tutorial dungeon. To Oh Dok-seo and me, she was practically an original member.
In today's terms, we shared the same 'public ties'.
"I really owe you a lot in Busan. This time, let me guide you around!"
In Busan, she had always been timid, but here in her hometown, she confidently led a group of magical girl trainees.
Initially, Uehara Shino stayed in Korea for several cycles. Securing a ship to return to Japan wasn't easy, and local conditions were harsh.
After hearing that in the archipelago, the term 'awakened' had to be replaced with 'magic girl,' Uehara Shino tearfully chose political asylum.
Even during the 90th cycle, when I ran a convenience store, Uehara stayed in Korea. She once wrote this on a bill:
[Thank you sincerely. But I think the store name and the clerk's t-shirt are strange. Are you perhaps a member of the Red Army? Sincerely, Uehara Shino.]
By the 590th cycle, circumstances had improved in many ways.
The most crucial turning point was the Inunaki Tunnel.
After the entity that had isolated the regions, reverting the archipelago to the feudal era's 60-plus countries, disappeared, the magical girls finally breathed a sigh of relief.
With some breathing room, the Magical Girl Association began to reclaim the skilled individuals who had gone overseas.
Being 'from the same public ties as the Undertaker and being 'highly skilled,' Uehara Shino was a top priority for repatriation.
-Even if it's as a magical girl...
-Oh, but we'll promote you rapidly!
She was offered the position of Head of the Apothecary, giving her priority over all 'medicinal herbs' produced or discovered in the archipelago.
My old friend, who had found her place back home, smiled shyly at me.
"How can I help you, Undertaker-san?"
To put it bluntly, a protagonist who searches for items themselves in various stories is a third-rate regressor. A true first-rate regressor has their connections bring the desired items to them.
Uehara not only sought out the 'Hate Pill' herself but also strongly requested cooperation from the Association.
There was an implicit threat that she might return to my side if they refused.
"Meow! If it's for the Undateikeo, I'll help too, nya!"
[It's time to repay the favors I owe. Leave it to me.]
Manyo Neko and Phantom Blade also joined in. Both were top ten powerhouses in the Magical Girl Association.
"Here it is, Undertaker-san!"
As a result, within a month of arriving in Japan, the 'Hate Pill' was presented to me.
Behold, the greatness of connections.
I never understood why some novels had protagonists playing lone wolves. This was so convenient; why wouldn't they cultivate relationships with their allies? Strange protagonists indeed.
Of course, I'd have to repay this favor later, but that's what friendship was about.
"Hey, you used to be like that until the 6th cycle."
"Hey, don't judge someone by their naive younger days."
"Those naive younger days were older than I am now, old man…"
Oh Dok-seo grumbled as he looked at the item on the table.
"So this is the Hate Pill."
"Yeah."
The Hate Pill was a bright red tablet.
It looked so dark red that it seemed as if it was made by the Demonic Cult. It looked ominous at first glance, and if something went wrong after taking it, it would have to be considered a natural death.
But for me, who was facing the impending judgment day due to the Total Luck Law, it was the world's best elixir!
"What are you going to do? Take it right away? Honestly, I'm curious about what will happen if you take it. I actually love hate relationships."
"No. Elixirs are dangerous if taken rashly. To brew its effects properly, you must consume it through the correct procedures and methods."
"Uh... Were there such procedures for the Hate Pill?"
There were.
More precisely, I was going to create them.
From that day, I stopped talking about the Three Kingdoms.
No matter how much Three Kingdoms content circulated on SG Net, I didn't join in. I didn't even mention it myself.
This surprising change shocked those around me.
"T-The teacher hasn't mentioned the Three Kingdoms even once today?"
Cheon Yo-hwa.
"Hyung, are you alright! I scraped together the remaining Ceylon tea and brought it!"
Seo Gyu.
[Are you really alright?]
[This is an emergency.]
[Mr. Undertaker, could it be that signs of corruption have finally begun to appear in you?]
Saintess.
"T-The guild master... is broken... I can't fix it... I'm powerless..."
Sim Ah-ryeon.
"Boss. Honestly, I never liked the Three Kingdoms much. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Water Margin are too old. Aren't they overly outdated content?"
Yu Ji-won.
"Oppa, lately I've started to like Liu Bei. So it's okay if we chat about the Three Kingdoms together."
Lee Ha-yul, that cunning fan of Liu Bei and Sun Quan.
"Undertaker, I'm sorry. I haven't been paying enough attention lately, have I? Maybe you'll feel better if you eat something delicious."
Dang Seo-rin.
And.
"..."
Noh Do-hwa.
While my other companions worried about me (I had no idea what they thought of me), only Noh Do-hwa looked at me with suspicion.
"You..."
"Yes?"
"Confess honestly. What crazy scheme are you up to now?"
As expected from a workaholic, she was unnecessarily sharp.
"You're strange. Who's been nagging me to stop going on about Three Kingdoms trivia?"
"Well, these days, your eyes look creepily sinister, so I'm concerned..."
"Hey. Please refrain from slandering, chief manager."
"..."
To brew the 'Hate Pill' to its peak, stopping the Three Kingdoms trivia alone wasn't enough.
I began to help my comrades openly, shamelessly, almost brazenly.
"Yo-hwa, I found out there's a student at Baekhwa High School hiding a gun. I confiscated it because it seemed dangerous."
"What? Really? Wow. Thank you, teacher! If it weren't for you, it would have been terrible!"
"It was a close call, Saintess. Even if you can stop time, you're defenseless against unexpected dangers."
"Ah... Yes. Thank you for saving me, Undertaker."
"Dang Seo-rin, I know you can use your lifespan to cast great magic. I don't want you to die even a day before me."
"...Undertaker. You."
"Sword Marquess, shall we take a trip to Mount Hua?"
"Oh! Only the Undertaker understands me!"
"Noh Do-hwa, don't you find it hard to work alone? I'll help you as an assistant sometimes."
"Damn it, I knew you were up to something, you bastard."
After a year of stopping the Three Kingdoms trivia and brazenly flattering everyone around me.
Sure enough, 'that entity' descended.
"Teacher! I can't imagine a world without you anymore!"
"Undertaker, I think the Inunaki Tunnel is a good hideout, but the surroundings aren't great. How about moving to my train?"
"Hyung! We've renamed the free board to the Three Kingdoms board! Considering all the help you've given me, it's the least I can do. Please accept my gratitude."
I clenched my fist in my heart.
'It's here!'
That's right.
The 'Savior Syndrome' had reappeared.
Just like how fish proliferate in clean water, as soon as the condition of 'the Undertaker not talking about the Three Kingdoms' was met, the Savior Syndrome returned.
"Hey, you bastard."
Noh Do-hwa grabbed me by the neck.
"You said you knew how to deal with that. You said you knew how to exterminate it. So why did you deliberately bring it back, you idiot? Do you want to die? Is being strangled by me your new hobby?"
"To be precise, I've only been strangled by you three times. And since my neck is now protected by a self-defense technique, it's impossible for a low-level aura user like you to kill me."
"Three times? I thought it was only once? What about the other two... No, that's not important. Just bring up that damn Three Kingdoms trivia again..."
"Hey. You should be more polite when asking for a favor."
"Damn it. You son of a..."
Bang, bang, bang!
The Savior Zombies banged on Noh Do-hwa's bunker door. Since I had already described this scene once, I'll skip the details.
Of course, there were some differences from before.
Oh Dok-seo was hiding in the bunker, and the hands knocking on the door included the Sword Marquess's powerful internal energy.
But aside from those small changes, there was still a significant difference.
"Noh Do-hwa, chief manager."
Step.
I stepped forward.
"Do you remember what I said before?"
"What? That working with you is a pain in the ass?"
"No. When the day comes, I said I wanted to watch from a VIP seat to see how badly the side effects of the wish I made to the Monkey's Paw would screw me over."
"Ha...?"
"Thank you for waiting."
Bang! The door dented.
The Savior Zombies breached the last barricade and swarmed towards us.
-Teacher... -Undertaker... -Hyung! -Great Master! -Guild leader... -Oppa... -Mr. Undertaker.
And. At this moment.
I took out the red tablet from my pocket.
My hand formed seals passed down from the Naruto era.
In the post-apocalyptic world ruled by entities, maintaining formal aesthetics was essential.
"Watch carefully, Noh Do-hwa, chief manager. I'm about to do something a bit violent."
"..."
"Technique Sequence: Savior. Technique Reversal: Hate Pill."
"..."
"Formality: Affection Reversal."
Crunch.
I chewed the red pill.
"Mister!"
Oh Dok-seo shouted from behind me.
Her voice, filled with immense emotion, seemed to say, 'I'm the one who introduced that guy to this genre!'
"Mister, you're going to let the Total Luck Law win...?"
I smiled.
Oh Dok-seo. She, too, was a talent who understood the importance of formal aesthetics in defeating entities.
"Win."
Regressor, victory declaration!
Amidst the frenzy, only Noh Do-hwa muttered coldly and quietly.
"You fucking bastard..."