IR 48 - The Terror of Option

The Preacher II

In life, as you come to meet various groups of people, you inevitably come across all kinds of stories. Some are so embarrassing that you're left doubting whether a human even spoke the tale while others are surprisingly profound, making you marvel at how their tellers manage to remain human despite everything.

But as for me, the Undertaker—

Since I've lived a far longer life than most, I've collected an endless array of statements. Even then, though, Jung So-hee's words were extraordinary, unique to the point where an ordinary person was liable to never hear them even once in their lifetime.

"I sense talent in you, Undertaker."

"What kind of talent?"

"The talent... for misfortune."

"?"

What the hell kind of nonsense was this?

Nevertheless, So-hee's expression remained serious as she said, "Just as athleticism, intelligence, and other exceptional abilities require talent, so does unhappiness. And to me, your talent for unhappy misfortunes is... First-rate. Maybe even beyond that."

"??"

Was she trying to mess with me?

Yet, So-hee was always kind. She wasn't the type to spout gibberish for no reason. Most importantly, she provided us with something so precious as water in the Tutorial Dungeon.

This is why one's actions matter. Even when someone throws a verbal bomb like, "You have the face of someone destined for misery," you might hold back your anger, at least in that instance, to hear them out.

"I'm sorry, So-hee, but I don't understand your point. If you're not feeling well—"

"All humans are unwell," So-hee interrupted.

It startled me. Such interruptions were rare from her.

"The human body is always teeming with bacteria. The mind is no different," she explained. "Even those who appear happiest often have dormant mental bacteria. And these bacteria, when the time is right, manifest as what we call 'unhappiness.'"

"..."

"Eliminating all bacteria in your body doesn't make you healthy. Unhappiness works the same way. The real key lies in managing it, in deciding how actively to take control of your unhappiness."

You know, it's funny. Those tasked with proselytizing in cults often turn out to be surprisingly well-read or, at the very least, highly articulate. They are often elite individuals within their organizations, well-versed in "common sense" to appeal to the masses. Naturally, without this skill, it would be difficult to win people over.

If I did—as So-hee claimed—possess a talent for unhappy misfortunes, then she certainly had the makings of a first-class cult preacher.

"I know this might sound strange. But do you think I've ever shared these thoughts with anyone else? Even once?"

"No... You haven't..."

So-hee had spent an entire year in the Tutorial Dungeon as part of my party. During that time, she had consistently dedicated herself as a comrade.

She allowed that fact to settle in, giving the silence before her next statement weight. "Exactly. I'm sharing this only with you, Undertaker. Because you alone have the depth of heart to genuinely understand me."

"..."

Target selection.

Not only had So-hee waited for a year, but she had also kept her true motives hidden from everyone.

For a predator, the success or failure of the hunt depends on how precisely they choose their prey. A beast that chases two rabbits is no lion.

So-hee had singled me out from over 500 survivors in the Tutorial Dungeon, just me. And she approached with intent.

"Of course, if this makes you uncomfortable, I'll never bring it up again," she offered.

"No, it's not that."

Another weighty silence. "I'm relieved to hear that."

Jung So-hee accumulated the illusion of debt.

In the earlier cycles, I had a cold and indifferent personality. I rejected anyone who tried to approach me. But how could I remain entirely aloof from a comrade who had lived through near-death experiences with me, who always offered me water first?

That's right. To put it crudely, I, a regressor, had been gaslit by an SSS-class cult preacher.

"I'm so glad I chose to follow you as our leader."

What else could I do?

Ignorance comes with a price.

"Let me teach you a mantra that brings peace of mind."

"Hmm."

It feels wrong to frame Jung So-hee as solely responsible for everything up until now. I do have some shame, after all. It wasn't entirely her fault. Obviously, much of the blame lay with me.

And the root of it? The fact that my mind had grown weak.

[404 - Not Found]

I suspect that the mysterious X, the person erased from my memory, must have been a significant psychological anchor for me.

And at some point in one of the cycles, X must have died.

There was no helping it. The Busan Station Tutorial Dungeon was never designed for humans to clear.

Struggling until the very end to beat the dungeon likely shattered my mental fortitude, undoubtedly due to X's death.

"Now, Undertaker. Close your eyes and repeat after me."

"..."

"It's not because of me."

The moment my defenses were down, So-hee exploited the opportunity.

"It's not... because of me."

"It's not my mistake, either."

"It's all the fault of the Anomalies."

"Good job."

And as embarrassing as it is to admit, her advice genuinely helped me at the time.

"Take a deep breath with me. Inhale for six seconds, hold it for three. Then exhale loudly for eight seconds. Fwoooooo."

"Fwoooooo..."

"Perfect! That was excellent!"

Like many successful cults, the Church of Unhappiness incorporated genuinely effective psychological techniques into its practices.

I learned meditation from So-hee. I learned how to calm my mind.

For the first time in my life, which had been nothing but an endless sprint, I took time to pause and empty myself.

"Imagine defeating Fairy No. 264."

The problem, of course, was that So-hee filled the empty spaces in my mind with poison.

"As your imagination becomes clearer, it will turn into reality. Undertaker. You've already defeated Fairy No. 264. Do you see? This isn't just imagination anymore. You've already succeeded."

"..."

"How do you feel?"

"Relieved."

"Have you felt relief even once in recent days?"

I hesitated. "No."

"Emotions are physical. Just as unused muscles atrophy, so do feelings when neglected for too long." Then, she gently whispered, "You killed Fairy No. 264. You protected your comrades. You saved the people trapped unjustly in the Busan Station concourse."

"..."

"I'm so proud of you, Undertaker. Please, take care of yourself a little more. Hug yourself. Pat your own back. Don't be embarrassed! We're just reviving the emotions, sensations, and body we've always had."

Here's the ironic part.

Not only did So-hee's methods help my mental health, they also dramatically strengthened my Aura.

It was an uncanny coincidence. After all, Aura is the power to impose yourself upon the world. To project your inner wounds onto the external reality.

I'll delve deeper into Aura later, but for now, one thing is clear: my time with So-hee significantly enhanced it.

"This is really helping. I'm sorry I doubted you at first, So-hee."

"...It's nothing."

Looking back now, I think even So-hee was caught off guard by how rapidly my Aura grew. Something like, 'This wasn't supposed to happen...'

Had I been able to use Mind Reading, I might have heard her thoughts:

[So-hee: Why is his Aura growing? I don't get it. This is terrifying...]

At the time, though, I lacked Mind Reading and sufficient regression data, so I enthusiastically shared So-hee's methods with other survivors.

Before long, a cult centered around her, the Busan Branch of the Church of Unhappiness, had formed.

"Alright, brothers and sisters. Close your eyes and follow along with me. The reason I am unhappy is because of my family."

"The reason I am unhappy is because of my family!"

Before long, it became a daily sight in Busan, hundreds of followers echoing So-hee's sermons during her gatherings.

"I am unconditionally a valuable being."

"I am unconditionally a valuable being!"

"The reason I am unhappy is because the world is wrong."

"The reason I am unhappy is because the world is wrong!"

"Those who ignore and criticize me are not human."

"Those who ignore and criticize me are not human!"

"A world full of such people disgusts me."

"A world full of such people disgusts me!"

"Yes, that's it. Very good, brothers and sisters. The world is disgusting, and humans are filthy. But we, who despise others together, are special beings!" So-hee proclaimed, clenching her fist in triumph.

Unlike other cult leaders, she didn't rely on elaborate or luxurious attire to assert her authority. Instead, she wore patched-together rags, clothing pieced from the remains of deceased followers.

For me, at least, this image was strangely more persuasive.

"We are special!"

"Those who can rage at Anomalies and despise humans possess a rare virtue. However, keeping such emotions bottled up can rot the heart. That's why we must always share our hatred for Anomalies and our contempt for humanity with our brothers and sisters. Now, let us rage together!"

"Aaaaaah!"

The assembly erupted into screams.

First-timers were always a bit awkward, but with repetition, even they started venting their imaginary rage as if it were real.

I later learned that So-hee borrowed this method from George Orwell's 1984, specifically the concept of Two Minutes Hate.

For reference, 1984was published in 1949—proof that the world hasn't changed much over the decades.[1]

"Louder! Let your frustrations roar! Show the world that you, and only you, are special!"

When So-hee spread her arms wide, rain began to fall inside the assembly hall.

Just as my Aura had grown stronger, So-hee's abilities had evolved—from Tap Water to Localized Rainstorm.

"Aaaaaaaah!"

The cultists danced and screamed under the rain.

Among them were regular people who didn't truly believe in the Church of Unhappiness but attended just to receive the "free water" from above. These pseudo-believers, fearful of being exposed, ended up overcompensating by passionately acting out their rage.

Naturally, just as the rain seeped into their skin, the doctrine of the Church of Unhappiness began to infiltrate their minds.

For what it's worth, the water tasted good.

Rage against the ruined world. Contempt for humanity. The logic that unhappiness, unlike happiness, could be controlled. The free water. So-hee's kind smile and soothing voice...

Together, these factors caused the Church of Unhappiness to grow exponentially.

"So-hee."

"Yes, Undertaker?"

Even at this point, I held no suspicion toward So-hee. Or rather, when doubts did occasionally arise, I scolded myself for thinking poorly of her.

I had been completely and utterly gaslit.

Which is why, in the end, I confessed my secret.

"I'm sorry. There's something I haven't told you until now."

"It's alright. Just the fact that you feel remorse proves you're far superior to the shameless people around us."

"Still, I think I need to tell you. Um. The truth is... I'm a regressor."

"What?" So-hee's eyes grew wide. Her squirrel-like pupils were transparent, reflecting nothing but sincerity.

But as I explained further, laying out the details of my regression and the certainty of my identity, something else, something unfamiliar, began to flicker in her gaze.

"..."

I could not understand what that flicker meant, but I knew the name she gave it.

"Reverend."

Her lips parted to say it.

"What?" I asked.

"Reverend."

A strange fire burned in So-hee's eyes as she looked at me. She grasped my hand firmly.

This was unusual. Normally, So-hee avoided physical contact, even passing water indirectly.

"Ah... So you were my reverend all along."

"..."

"Now, I'm certain. Yes, I heard the voice. It's unmistakable."

The fire in her eyes burned brighter, but my heart froze as if doused in ice water. Her palm radiated warmth, and yet that warmth felt utterly foreign to me.

"You are the savior who will shoulder all the world's misfortunes."

It was at that moment that I began to suspect it.

That So-hee was not a benefactor who had saved me from despair but the one who might drag me into its deepest abyss.

Footnotes:

[1] In 1984, Two Minutes Hate is a daily period in which citizens are mandated to watch a film about enemies of the state and to vent their personal, existential hatred for such political dissenters. These "enemies of the state" are non-existent and created by the government to sow blind loyalty in its citizenry, one of the many real-world phenomena that Orwell warned against all the way back when he wrote the book in 1949 yet that still occur today.

-x-X-x-

The Preacher III

"Reverend, did you cough?"

"Reverend, were you uncomfortable during the gathering last night?"

"Reverend, I've prepared your breakfast."

"Reverend."

My day-to-day life irrevocably changed when I confessed to being a regressor.

First off, the meals were unrecognizably extravagant—absurdly high in calories for an apocalypse.

So-hee had always been a frugal person. Even after the Church of Unhappiness grew in size, she never sought personal luxury. But no matter how modest someone might be in their own life, when it comes to their object of worship, all rational brakes tend to cease functioning.

That's right. So-hee worshipped me.

"So-hee..."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to prepare food like this. Everyone is already struggling to get by. Eating this by myself doesn't sit right with me."

"Ahhh!" So-hee let out a sharp exclamation without any warning, making me flinch. "I'm sorry! How could someone like me make such a grave mistake? You're right! How could I dare serve such vulgar, worldly food to our reverend! What a foolish act! Ahhh, even hell would be too lenient a punishment for such a sin!"

"No, I didn't mean it like that—"

"I will ensure this never happens again!"

The next day, after the overly luxurious breakfast was withdrawn, her sermons at the Church of Unhappiness included statements like these:

"Our reverend, the Undertaker, has proclaimed: You foolish disciples! I vowed to share clothing and food with the suffering believers, yet you present me with luxuries?!"

"The apocalypse exists not outside but within our hearts. Before you try to save the world, build a sanctuary in your hearts first."

"Moreover, our Reverend has said: My dwelling place is not outside but in your hearts. Your most precious luxury is your heart itself. Placing me at its center is the only true way to serve me."

The believers were ecstatic.

"Wooooooo!"

"Undertaker! We believe in youuuu!"

"Eternal life! Unyielding faith!"

The more I tried to dissuade them, the more I was deified.

Silently, I glanced at the books they clutched like sacred relics. The title on the cover read Holy Scripture of the Church of Unhappiness: Sayings of The Reverend Undertaker.

Where did it all go wrong?

Was it because I had delegated all organizational matters to So-hee while focusing solely on Anomaly extermination, allowing her to manipulate and control the believers freely?

Or had it begun from the moment I first entrusted part of my heart to So-hee?

Granted, I had comrades to consult, like Uehara Shino and Lee Jae-hee, but Jae-hee had already died in the Tutorial Dungeon. As for Uehara—

"B-but Undertaker-san, you truly are amazing, aren't you?"

"What?"

"Besides, I don't think it's a problem. This world is already shit anyway... And being treated like a comrade by you and So-hee-chan is fine by me. I ate well yesterday too..."

She was not helpful in the slightest.

Maybe now you understand why I've always been so desperate to find competent allies. After bearing with original party members like this, meeting the Regression Alliance members felt like encountering actual saints.

Noh Do-hwa wasn't the impressive one. It was me, who found someone like her.

Anyway, I had three choices laid out in front of me.

1. Leave So-hee alone: The tributes to me would escalate, eventually leading to proposals to construct the "Grand Undertaker Palace."

2. Stop So-hee: My leniency would then be canonized as one of my "Virtues" in the holy scripture.

3. Expel So-hee from the Church of Unhappiness: I was already overwhelmed exterminating Anomalies. Now I had to manage a cult too?

A true no-win scenario.

If it were the me of now, I'd have handled it more cleanly or completely embraced my role as a cult leader. But back in the early cycles, specifically in the 3rd cycle, I was still naïve.

More than anything, I still considered So-hee a precious comrade. I believed that if I spoke my true feelings, she would understand.

"So-hee."

"Yes, Reverend?"

And so, my past self made a direct declaration.

"I'm leaving the Church of Unhappiness."

"What?"

"This kind of group lifestyle doesn't suit me. This was your project from the start, and I just happened to tag along. I'd like to focus more on exterminating Anomalies. Who knows when the Ten Legs might march south?"

I watched as So-hee's face went pale.

At the time, I didn't realize it, but from her perspective, the god she worshipped had just told her, "I don't like the way you look. I'm abandoning you. Goodbye."

It was the worst decision I could have made.

"Wh-what do you mean, Reverend? If we've fallen short, we'll fix it. Was our gathering too short today? Or was it—?"

I explained.

"Ah! I see! This is another trial, isn't it? Right? I'll serve you even more devotedly from now on. Yes?"

I explained again.

"Look at them, Reverend! Think of the believers! Some have lost everything they had and came all the way from Seoul and Suwon. What will happen to these lost lambs if you leave? Huh? Should I... take care of them?"

I explained once more.

"Am I... Am I not enough for you? Wasn't I the one who stopped you from ending your own life? Or is it because I'm not [404 - Not Found]?"

I wasn't sure if she understood my explanation, but as I spoke, one thing became painfully clear.

My comrade. The friend who had been with me from the start in Busan Station's concourse. The benefactor who quenched my thirst day after day. The teacher who taught me meditation and helped me strengthen my Aura. The ever-kind So-hee.

She was far more broken than I had imagined.

It wasn't apparent at first glance. Compared to the likes of Ah-ryeon and other obviously unstable people, So-hee seemed perfectly fine.

Her gaze was steady. Her speech was eloquent. Her hair was neatly combed. Her attire, though humble, had an air of tidiness. Yes, she preached some cult-like doctrines, but it wasn't a big deal to me. After all, everyone in Busan either belonged to the Church of Unhappiness or believed in New Buddhism.

I even thought she had deliberately given me "extreme treatment" to pull me out of my mental slump.

"I see... I'm not enough."

Once again, let me reiterate: my past self was woefully inexperienced. I didn't know even the basics of how best to converse with my comrades.

"May I ask one question, Reverend? Are you unhappy right now?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "It's true that things have been hard. And it's still tough, no doubt. But thanks to you, I'm much better. Thank you, So-hee."

So-hee bowed her head. A moment later, she murmured something under her breath.

I couldn't hear what she said, but looking back, it was probably, "I see."

"Understood, Reverend."

When So-hee raised her face, it bore the same familiar smile. The sight of it was a weight off my shoulders.

Finally, I thought. Finally, she understood. She might have still called me Reverend, but it was fine. These things take time.

I sincerely hoped that I could remove myself from the shell of this bizarre cult and return to simpler times, when we acted as comrades united against Anomalies.

"If you want to stop the Ten Legs from advancing south, you'll need to head toward Seoul. Go ahead."

"Will you be alright here?"

"Yes. I can't help in battles anyway. I'll stay and organize the believers in your absence." So-hee clasped her hands together, as if offering a prayer to me. "Please, return safely, Reverend."

The plan to stop the Ten Legs' southern advance was a complete disaster.

Of course, it was doomed to fail. Defeating the Ten Legs would have required gathering all the Awakeners across the Korean Peninsula into a united front, and for that, I would have had to work with Dang Seo-rin.

At this point in time, I had never even met Seo-rin, let alone cooperated with her.

Maybe she avoided me deliberately. I could only imagine what rumors she had heard about some weirdo cult leader who dragged a crazy church around with him.

When we didn't work together, the guilds attempting to stop the Ten Legs were annihilated. I'm certain that even Seo-rin's Samcheon World fell during this battle.

As for me? I ran.

To be clear, it wasn't to save my own life. As a regressor, my life wasn't worth that much.

"Everyone, run!"

I shouted to the survivors in the rear.

"They've all been killed by the Ten Legs! If you stay here, you'll all die! There are no more Awakeners to protect you! Escape to the remotest areas, into the mountains, the islands, anywhere the Ten Legs can't follow you!"

Even though I knew there was no hope left for the Korean Peninsula, I still screamed myself hoarse, urging others to flee.

In hindsight, it's almost funny. Be it past or present, I've never stopped struggling until the bitter end.

Thanks to my unwanted fame as the Church of Unhappiness's Reverend, plenty of people recognized me. Some refugees heard my warnings and even began packing up in earnest.

When I finally returned to Busan, Uehara was waiting for me at the outskirts of the city.

"Undertaker-san!"

Unlike So-hee and me, Uehara enjoyed wearing fine clothes. In that moment, however, she looked like a beggar.

"Uehara! Spread the word to the cult or anyone else you can find, tell them to evacuate immediately!"

"Wait! You're speaking too fast. And right now, there's a big problem!"

"A problem?"

She took a deep breath, still struggling with her broken Korean. "So-hee! So-hee-chan is... she's gone mad!"

Following Uehara's lead, I rushed toward the Church of Unhappiness's gathering site. As we ran, she spoke in trembling bursts.

"It was... a gathering. A normal one, at first... So-hee-chan was... giving her sermon. But at the climax... it rained. The people who got wet... They started falling sick. Quickly!"

"..."

"They just collapsed... I always carry medicine... so I figured it out right away. That rain... It's poison."

When we arrived at the city, Busan was eerily silent.

In later years, Busan would rise again as a stronghold under the National Road Management Corps. Even back in the early days, it had been bustling with citizens in its own way.

Those people were gone.

The rain-soaked streets had turned to muddy sludge that splashed against my feet as I ran.

Uehara frantically warned me, "Watch out! That mud, it's poison too! Here, take this!"

She handed me some pills, which I swallowed on the spot.

Back when we were a party, Uehara had handled our medicine and ensured our health while So-hee provided water to sustain us.

That was how it used to be.

Then we reached the gathering site.

"Ah."

In the center of the field were thousands of corpses piled high. Rotting and bloated, they were all that remained of the congregation.

And there, amidst the carnage, stood So-hee.

"Reverend, you've returned."

She adjusted her tattered priestly robes and stepped forward, crushing a corpse underfoot as she smiled brightly.

"Look! Just as I promised, I've 'organized' the believers for you!"

That was my comrade.

"So-hee..."

"There were some unpleasant rumors from Seoul, but I never doubted. I knew you would come back. After all, you promised, didn't you?"

"What... What the hell is this?" I rasped, my voice trembling.

So-hee's smile faded slightly. She looked at me with genuine concern in her eyes.

"My ability, it doesn't just create drinkable water. I can freely generate both pure water and poison."

"That's not what I'm asking! How... How could you do this? Whydid you—?"

"Reverend," her voice interrupted me, calm and unwavering. "The truth is, I've hated this world for a long time. Every night, I prayed to God, begging Him to destroy it. I was certain that God answered my prayers when the world began to end.

"That's when I realized... The God of our world is no loving deity. He's a malevolent god."

She clasped her hands together, as if in reverence.

"So all those people who speak of love and mercy, they're wrong. God doesn't want human happiness. He desires the exact opposite."

Her eyes burned with conviction.

"Reverend, you've seen it, haven't you? The more we chant curses of unhappiness, the stronger our Aura grows. Isn't that undeniable proof?"

"..."

"When I was a child, my father often punished me with water. He'd dunk my head in a bucket, saying it was for discipline. I thought if I drank all the water, maybe I'd suffer less. So I kept drinking and drinking..."

"..."

"That's why my ability is both 'water to drink' and 'water to kill.' Reverend, don't you see?"

So-hee spread her arms wide, her voice rising with fervor.

"The power an Awakener gains is tied to their deepest wounds, not their greatest joys. It's not happiness but the most painful misfortunes that makes an Awakener who they are!"

-x-X-x-

The Preacher IV

A chill ran down my spine.

The city was completely devoid of people—I was well aware of that fact, and yet I couldn't help but glance around instinctively.

"Adversity and wounds create Awakeners."

It was an abominable truth.

If the theory So-hee had just expounded were ever to leak—if it had even the slimmest chances to slither its way into the public consciousness—it would utterly shatter this already broken world.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the only other person present was Uehara, and she wasn't fluent in Korean. She looked on in confusion, seeming to grasp less than half of So-hee's words.

"Our God isn't one that blesses human happiness. He is an evil god that observes our suffering! Thus, 'Awakening' is both a blessing and a curse from Him."

Heedless to our reactions, So-hee grew increasingly fervent as she screamed her doctrine from atop a pile of corpses.

"In such a world, you alone, Reverend, are destined to monopolize all of God's attention and affection!"

"Why?" I choked.

"Because you are a regressor," So-hee proclaimed, smiling as though it were obvious. "No matter how many people were killed by the Anomaly at Busan Station, it wasn't their fault. It was the Anomaly's. But you, Reverend, are different."

She tilted her head and gazed down upon me.

"You could have saved them."

"..."

"If you had been a little stronger, a little smarter, a little faster, you could have saved them all."

"..."

"This is your fault, Reverend."

Rain began to fall. Uehara gasped and tried to shield my head with her coat, but it was meaningless.

"Maybe it's impossible for you now, but you'll grow stronger. Gradually, relentlessly. And the stronger you grow... the more responsibilities you'll have to bear."

The rain that was drenching me wasn't touching my skin, it was boring straight into my chest.

"From Busan Station to Busan itself. Ah, how many people perished there! And from Busan to the Korean Peninsula. From Korea to... beyond, beyond, and beyond. And then... Then!"

The rainwater that once quenched my thirst turned into poison, corroding the edges of my heart.

"Reverend, this is your fault. Because in the next regression, you'll choose who to save. And in the one after that, who to let die. How could anyone deny that you are the chosen of the evil god?"

"..."

"Let me ask you once more, Reverend."

Thus spoke So-hee:

"Are you unhappy right now?"

I couldn't answer.

Her smile was knowing and her gaze intent. It was as if she were savoring my silence.

"You'll grow stronger, Reverend... Don't forget me."

Then So-hee drew a dagger from her robes and slit her own throat, bathing the rain around her in a crimson shower.

Beside me, Uehara let out a horrified scream and rushed to So-hee's body, but it was too late.

It was instant death.

"Undertaker-san!" Uehara cried. "So-hee-chan!"

However, she wasn't given long to wallow in her tears. The mountain of corpses, layered hundreds deep, began to writhe.

In this world, corpses left without proper rites were infected by Void poison and transformed into Anomalies. The ones that roamed by themselves were often called "zombies." Severely damaged corpses sometimes became Anomalies that existed as mere disembodied voices, known as Knockers. However, when corpses transformed into Anomalies as a collective entity, I had a specific name for them:

- Ǘ̸̖ŗ̶̳̀̍ő̸̡̮o̴͚͌̔͜o̷̠͊̂u̶͕̫̒ù̷̳̉u̸̙̝͋ḡ̶̠̫̈́h̸̛̩̤̊!

The Hollow.

Bound by their shared affiliation with the Church of Unhappiness, the Hollow arose slowly. Hundreds of corpses became legs, hundreds more a torso, and yet another hundred formed the upper body. Atop the massive entity formed by the hundreds, a singular head emerged.

- Reverrrrreeeeend!

The surface of the Hollow, amalgamating of countless bodies, prominently displayed So-hee's smiling face.

- Eternal Invincibility.

- Reverrrrreeeennnnd!

- Unyielding Will.

The countless mouths of the Hollow began to chant the doctrine of the Church of Unhappiness as its massive right hand reached for me.

"Undertaker-san! No!" Uehara screamed.

But I didn't dodge. Without flinching, I looked up at the shadow of the grotesque hand sheltering me from the rain.

The stench of decayed rainwater filled the air as a great weight crushed my body in one.

That was my death.

There is an epilogue.

To summarize in a single paragraph: In my third cycle, I lost a dear comrade, X, in the Tutorial Dungeon, which shattered my mental state. Another comrade, So-hee, helped me recover, allowing me to clear the dungeon and build my own faction. Yet So-hee turned out to be a deranged zealot. In the end, she transformed into an Anomaly and killed me.

Q: What is the mental state of a regressor who meets such a death and enters their next cycle?

So-hee was right. I became profoundly unhappy.

As she had intended, my heart in the next cycle was filled with indomitable filth. That filth decayed, spreading an odor that clung to me in a choking stench.

Perhaps even before the collapse of Old Man Schopenhauer, I had already fallen apart long ago. When infected by the World Tree Udumbara, Awakeners lose their powers. Perhaps I, too, might have given up regression and accepted the death it offered me.

"Those eyes of yours are just dripping with poison, huh?"

However, there was one thing So-hee hadn't accounted for.

"So you're the one, right? The lone survivor of Busan Station. You're that weirdo who goes around asking people strange questions all the time."

The stronger and more capable I became, the wider the scope of my world grew. Consequently, the number of lives I became responsible for also increased.

"Your name?"

"...Undertaker. It's an alias."

"So, someone who buries people? Not bad. The depth of a person is measured by how many corpses they've buried in their heart."

But I wasn't alone. The determination to save others wasn't mine alone to bear.

The wider the world became, the more people there were to help carry its fragments—something a certain priestess of an evil god could never have foreseen.

"How about it? Wanna join my guild?"

I asked for the guild's name.

"Samcheon World."

That was your answer.

"Samcheon for short. Someday, I'll have three thousand Awakeners recruited as members, like the name implies.[1] I've made it my personal goal."

You adjusted your witch's hat, tapped your foot on the ground, and gave me a bright smile.

"Undertaker. Help me."

It was her answer.

"I need your strength."

I had long pondered a particular question: If a single person is to save the world, then who saves that person?

The answer was obvious. You just had to acknowledge that no single person stood alone.

"Vice Guild Leader, just once. Hm? Try on our pointed hat just once. I swear I have an eye for this sort of thing, and I'm convinced you've got the makings of a top-tier witch!"

"I absolutely refuse."

"Really? That's a shame." Seo-rin pouted playfully. "But what will you do if I say no, hmm?"

"..."

"I'm the guild leader, and you're the vice guild leader."

My way of speaking now bore traces of Dang Seo-rin's influence. Once stiff and formal, it had softened over time after spending so much time with her.

It was hard to remain rigid while working under a superior who cosplayed as a witch year-round and was a devout train enthusiast.

"See? It looks good on you!"

"...Fuck."

"Ahaha! Did you just curse? Wow! I've never heard our vice guild leader say that before!"

"..."

"But to say such a thing to your guild leader, the Supreme Heaven herself! You must've developed a big head. Or is it because of that hat? It does make your head look bigger."

"Fuuuuuck..."

"Pffft! Hahaha!"

Despite the tragedy caused by the Church of Unhappiness, the time I spent serving under Seo-rin as her vice guild leader gave me a reason to rise again.

On a flight to the Uyuni Salt Flats, I encountered the Undertakeress, a woman who bore an uncanny resemblance to Seo-rin.

In hindsight, it made sense. My expression, my way of smiling, even my manner of speech—all of it was shaped by Dang Seo-rin.

[Mr. Undertaker, I need your help. There's something urgent I must consult you about.]

"What is it?"

[It's about the passage we read together last Wednesday. I just can't wrap my head around it.]

The Saintess's seriousness became my seriousness.

"To mister, I am sorry. To the me of today and tomorrow, I apologize. I hereby declare a two-day hiatus. Since my break falls over a weekend, it means I'll end up resting for four days in total. Still, I'll only announce two days off to the readers. Could you, out of pity, write the announcement for me?"

"..."

"At least I'm sorry, unlike those authors who don't feel any guilt at all. That makes me one of the good ones, right?"

Oh Dok-seo's shamelessness became my shamelessness.

Both the best and the worst of me were defined by others.

By a puppeteer, controlled by her father throughout her life, who Awakened the ability to manipulate others like dolls.

By a student council president, conditioned by a cult into assuming the role of their priestess, who Awakened the ability to impose her mindset and way of behaving onto others.

By a prosthetist, unable to restore lost limbs to her patients, who Awakened the ability to animate others' limbs.

By a... Uh. Well, what about Sim Ah-ryeon?

What wounds could she have suffered to Awaken her abilities? I couldn't even begin to imagine. She was always beyond my comprehension, an enigma I couldn't unravel.

My heart belonged to many.

If the Hollow wandered the world spreading death with bodies made of countless nameless corpses, then the living always survived by making ties with other survivors.

And for me, life wasn't about "dying" but "living."

That was my freedom.

[Lee Jae-hee: My phone's not working?]

[Uehara Shino: Too many people. Can't breathe.]

[Seo Gyu: Damn it, what the hell is this? This is fucking garbage.]

[Park Ye-dam: I need to contact my boss...]

[Lee Baek: What's going on? Where did everyone else go?]

[Go Yuri: O̷̹͑h̴̢̞͊͂ ̴̧̌͝m̶̘̍̾y̴̢͖̿̓.̴̝̈́̍.̷̦̽͠.̶͖̈́̈]

[Jung So-hee: Reverend? Where did you go, Reverend?]

[Sim Ah-ryeon: Where am I? Who am I?]

On the notable occasion of the 700th cycle—my seventh century—I decided to approach an "old comrade" from the concourse of Busan Station for the first time in ages.

So-hee was glancing around, searching for someone—probably the "First Reverend" since I had been the second.

Some people simply couldn't live without worshiping someone else.

"Excuse me..." I began.

"Yes? What is it?"

"May I ask you something?"

So-hee looked at me, startled.

Despite everything, how she had once tormented me to the point of death (and actually killed me), I felt nothing. No positive or negative emotions, just pure tranquility filling my chest.

"Do you think I have a talent for misfortune?"

"What?"

"It's just a question," I assured her. "You seem to have some divine insight or intuition."

The bewilderment faded from So-hee's expression as she scrutinized me with a meticulous gaze. After about ten seconds, she frowned slightly and shook her head.

"Not at all."

"..."

"I sense no talent in you. Third-rate? No, fifth-rate. It's been ages since I've encountered someone so utterly talentless. Maybe even the first time. If you've heard the 'voice' of our God, please give up."

Without another word, she turned her back and walked away, severing all ties with me.

A former comrade and one of the original members who cleared the first Tutorial Dungeon had dismissed me outright.

"Hmm."

I chuckled softly at the odd feeling it gave me. It wasn't all that bad.

Undertaker—Officially designated as a fifth-rate cult leader!

Footnotes:

[1] Samcheon means three thousand in Korean.

-x-X-x-

The Commentator I

Suddenly, it occurred to me that Dok-seo was a chuunibyou.

One might assume someone suffering from a chuunibyou episode would struggle with social skills, but the truth was that this illusion was merely due to her roommate being Ah-ryeon.

Without Ah-ryeon, Dok-seo possessed all the qualities of a clueless social misfit with an extraordinary lack of situational awareness.

"Hey."

And so, during this rare gathering that included NRMC's Commander Noh Do-hwa, Yu Ji-won, and the leaders of the two major guilds in the Korean Peninsula—Dang Seo-rin of Samcheon and Cheon Yo-hwa of Baekhwa—for the sake of fostering unity, we sat down for a dinner meeting.

That was when Dok-seo, seated beside me, opened her mouth and said, "Mister."

"Hm?"

"I'm just curious. If Seo-rin and Yo-hwa were to fight, who would win?"

Clink.

Across the table, the hand of Do-hwa, who had been drinking soju straight from the bottle, froze mid-air. Naturally, Ji-won, who had been eagerly offering to pour her another drink, also stopped in her tracks.

A deathly silence descended upon the room.

Of course, it wasn't universal death. The other NRMC members and guild members, blissfully intoxicated, continued chatting merrily.

In other words, In this "noisy environment," only those who could "amplify their hearing with Aura" and "focus through all the surrounding noise" on "the table where Undertaker was seated" fell under the spell of this deathly silence.

Naturally, Seo-rin and Yo-hwa both met these conditions.

"Dok-seo."

"Yeah?"

"Why do you suddenly want to know something like that?"

Desperately, I tried to pass the conversational baton to Dok-seo.

I had to make it clear that the one asking the question was her, Oh Whatever-her-name-is, and that I, the Undertaker, was entirely uninvolved.

"Eh, it's nothing big. I'm just curious because they both play the role of mages in your party, don't they?"

However, this oblivious social outcast stubbornly continued dragging me into this mess.

Well, I shouldn't have expected much from a writer who posted an apology on SG Net for skipping a serialization due to "an unavoidable external engagement" only to gleefully show up here for a free meal.

I tried to stay calm. "Right. Both of them are incredibly talented and invaluable to me. They're comrades, so comparing them isn't fair."

"Come on, mister. We all know that. But who'd win in a fight? Keep it simple."

"...Are you trying to mess with me?"

"Huh? What?"

"Nothing."

Sweat trickled down the side of my face. Feigning a sip of alcohol, I frantically scribbled invisible words onto the table with my finger.

Saintess.

[Yes?]

Help me.

[How?]

Please distract Seo-rin and Yo-hwa. Get them talking about something else. I beg you.

[I'll try.]

As expected of the Saintess. Unlike someone else who once declared, "I'm the one who will save you, mister!" only to become an unreliable brat infamous for prolonged absences, she was dependable.

(This is why you should never make bold declarations to a regressor with Complete Memory.)

[Okay, I tried.]

How did it go?

[I won't say who, but I was told to buzz off.]

Even the Saintess's bluetooth connection failed me!

"Mister, who's stronger?"

"..."

"If the Great Witch of Busan fought the Necromancer of Sejong, who would win? Who's stronger? On a tier list, who's S-class and who's A-class?"

"..."

"Mister, come on. Tell me. I'm a sucker for these 'who would win' debates! Who's the strongest mage in the setting?"

I glanced around.

Do-hwa was glaring at me through two slits with an expression that seemed to say, "Not my problem, pal."

Ji-won was conspicuously absent. Moments ago, she had been glued to Do-hwa's side, spewing flattery. Now she was gone without a trace.

For reference, Ha-yul was sitting in a corner with a sign reading, "I'm not drunk," stuck to her head as she downed drink after drink. She was already on her seventh sign.

Next to her, Ah-ryeon was hanging the eighth sign around Lee Ha-yul's neck.

My allies... were nowhere to be found.

"Reverend."

"Are you unhappy right now?"

For some reason, a rare flashback of Jung So-hee, one of my original party members, echoed in my mind.

I swallowed hard, as if taking a shot of poison. "It... depends on the conditions of the battlefield."

The dice were cast.

"Oh? What do you mean by that?"

"If it's an ambush... Yo-hwa would have a decisive advantage. Although she's a mage, except for necromancy, she's practically a warrior. Whether she borrows the power of Infinite Void or uses her Aura to crush the opponent, she'd topple her enemy in no time."

"Ahaha, cheers!"

From the direction of Baekhwa guild members' table, merry orange laughter rang out.

The students of Baekhwa Girls' High, who were essentially members of the student council fan club, squealed with delight as they witnessed their guild leader's cheerful demeanor.

However, the atmosphere around the Samcheon table grew comparatively colder by the second. Some of the guild members began to pick up on the discomfort emanating from the Great Witch. After all, the wineglass in Seo-rin's hand had been crushed into shards, turning into nothing but fragments. It was impossible not to notice.

Hurriedly, I added, "But if it's not an ambush, and both parties have ample time to prepare for battle, then the situation changes completely."

"Oh!"

"Seo-rin's specialty is unquestionably Cursed Song Incantation. The more time she has to cast and layer her incantations, the more overwhelming her buffs and debuffs become. At four melodic layers, their strength is evenly matched. At five, Seo-rin gains the upper hand. By the sixth layer, Yo-hwa doesn't stand a chance."

"Oh, my! Why is everyone looking at me? Relax, everyone. Tonight is about having a good time together."

With those words, the wintry atmosphere at the Samcheon table immediately shifted to spring. Witches with party hats breathed collective sighs of relief.

Clink!

However, the sound of a shattering glass echoed dramatically from the Baekhwa table. The crash wasn't accidental—it was deliberate, full-force, and with intent.

And just to set the scene, the seating arrangement placed the Baekhwa and Samcheon guilds side by side, with their leaders sitting next to each other. This arrangement had been designed to foster camaraderie between the two guilds—after all, that was the goal of this gathering.

How could I have predicted Dok-seo would pull something like this? It was unfair.

"Oh dear."

Naturally, the space on the floor where Yo-hwa had shattered her glass was essentially the space beside her—also known as where Seo-rin was seated.

Seo-rin smiled sweetly. "My, my. That's quite the slippery hand you have, President. They say rough work can lead to hand tremors. I hope it's not affecting four of your five fingers. Why not get them checked out by Miss Ah-ryeon?"

"Hahaha, thank you for your concern, Great Witch! We don't usually get the chance to exchange such words, but it's nice to have this 'ambush' of a meeting to bring us closer. Though, I hope we're not getting too close!"

"Of course not. By the way, how absent-minded of me. This lovely gathering was organized by our gracious NRMC Commander and the Undertaker, yet I haven't poured them a drink."

"Oh, no! You're absolutely right! We really must pour them a drink ourselves. I've been dying to share a toast with the Undertaker!"

Help me.

'What do I do?'

My mind raced as Seo-rin grabbed a wine bottle and Yo-hwa picked up a beer bottle, both making their way toward me.

'How do I satisfy both of them with god-tier level diplomacy and avoid disaster?'

My brain rapidly generated options:

A. Mix wine and beer. "Let's drink them together! Oh, but tomorrow's hangover might be rough."

→ My body gets metaphorically blended in a mixer.

B. "Logically, Yo-hwa would never launch a sudden attack. The risks are too high. If it comes down to a fair duel, Seo-rin is more likely to win."

→ "Oh, mister! If you wanted to wear a sailor uniform that badly, you should've just said so...! From now on, you're my junior."

C. "Yo-hwa would never engage in a fight she couldn't win. She'd strike like a snake, exploiting any opening Seo-rin shows. This would naturally mean an ambush, guaranteeing her victory."

→ "Oh, look! A perfect hat rack for my witch hat. A little dusty, but a broom can fix that. And don't expect me to sing you a lullaby for your insomnia!"

D. "This is all Do-hwa's fault."

→ "What?"

No matter the choice, it led to a bad ending! So this is the wretched life of a regressor!

"Oh, I want to see them have an all-out fight!"

At that moment—

"Not that I'd want mister to get hurt. Let's make it safe and fair. Oh, look! Mister, speak of the devil, here they come!"

From Dok-seo's untainted, mildly tipsy gaze and sloppily tilted cap, a flash of inspiration struck me.

It wasn't Seo-rin's white magic or Yo-hwa's black magic. No, it was the gray magic unique to regressors!

I shot to my feet. "Yes! I completely agree, Commander Noh Do-hwa!"

Do-hwa, who had been quietly enjoying the sweetness of her soju with a faint smile, frowned at me. "Huh?"

The sudden sound of my voice startled even the two calamities approaching me, freezing them in their tracks.

"It's true! A one-off dinner isn't enough to build solidarity between guilds. What we need is something bigger! Something better!"

"What are you saying, you lunatic?"

Ignoring the octave of danger rising in Do-hwa's voice, I pressed on. Survival first!

"Sports!"

Everyone in the banquet hall turned to look at me.

Even a flushed Ha-yul reached out her arms, crying, "Daddyyy!" but I ignored her.

"Since ancient times, nothing has brought groups together like sports! Sure, the world is in ruins, and there are no more Olympics or World Cups. But with NRMC's resources, why not host a grand competition?"

"Wait, are you..."

"A fighting tournament!" Using Aura, I boomed my voice like a lion's roar. The hall quivered as the Awakened, drunk or not, roared in excitement. "An Awakening tournament! Yes! Let's settle it there!"

"And the Undertaker won't compete, leaving the championship open for Seo-rin or Yo-hwa!"

"Shut up! The President will win!"

"Commander Noh Do-hwa! You're a genius for thinking of this!"

"Do-hwa! Do-hwa!"

Even Ji-won, who had returned, led the chant.

"Fine! Let's do it!"

Cheers erupted as Seo-rin and Yo-hwa were swept away.

I wiped my brow. Another day, another death flag dodged.

[Impressive as always, Mr. Undertaker.]

"Thanks."

[What will you call this tournament?]

"How about Awakeners' World Cup? Shortened to AwakenCup!?"

I could feel the Saintess's silent disappointment.

What's wrong with AwakenCup?

-x-X-x-

The Commentator II

"I hereby declare the First NRMC Awakener Fighting Tournament, the AwakenCup, open! Let the games begin!" I shouted into the mic.

The cheers of the crowd thundered through the Colosseum.

"Waaaaaah!"

Yes, a Colosseum.

After the Eastern Holy State was found, a Colosseum had appeared without prompting or warning near the Void outside Pyongyang.

Why a Colosseum, you ask? Who knows? Perhaps even the Anomalies acknowledged the Eastern Holy State as the true successor of Rome.

"Baekhwa! Baekhwa!"

"Samcheon World!"

"Whoa! Wahoo!"

Supporters from all over raised their banners and cheered with fervor.

Witches fired an endless stream of fireworks from their staves while the Baekhwa Girls' High cheerleading squad hyped up the mood even further.

How could I, the Undertaker, not respond to such enthusiasm? With a higher energy than usual, I drove the mic forward.

"Yes, the monumental first AwakenCup! Color commentary will be handled by me, the Undertaker! And for your host—"

"Yeah so, before that, could you please explain why the NRMC Awakener Fighting Tournament is abbreviated as AwakenCup?"

"We have none other than NRMC Commander Noh Do-hwa! Everyone, give her a thunderous round of applause for coming all the way to Pyongyang Sacred City!"

"Waaaaaaah!"

"Damn it, this is insane..." Do-hwa muttered something more under her breath, but the complaints of a mediocre Awakener who couldn't amplify her voice with Aura were drowned out by the cheers of the 80,000 spectators filling the Colosseum.

"All eyes are on the highly anticipated first match! The opening battle! Let's see who the competitors are! First, from the blue corner! Entering now!"

"Ooooooh!"

The gate on the left side of the Colosseum opened, and in entered Yu Ji-won riding a dinosaur.

A Pachycephalosaurus. Also known as the head-butting dinosaur. This mighty creature served as the NRMC's official warhorse. Its formal name was "Kongkongi."

"What a shocker! Right from the start, the head-butting dinosaur makes its debut!"

"Uwaaaaaah!"

The citizens of Pyongyang Sacred City gazed in awe at Kongkongi's pristine cranial health. It was clear everyone loved dinosaurs.

"The lead player of the first match! NRMC's Operation Team Leader, Yu Ji-won! If you had to name the human with the highest kill count in the Korean Peninsula, she'd surely rank in the top two, if not, the top five! She's NRMC's psychopath! A murderer! Who dares stand in her way? Caster Noh Do-hwa, your thoughts?"

"Well... Considering this event is flying the National Road Management Corps banner, I'd like to personally rip the scalp off a certain commentator who just called our ace a psychopath..."

"Unfortunately, the Undertaker's scalp is steel! Not even the Director of Intelligence could manage to crack it! Now, facing this fearsome axe-murdering psychopath from the red corner! Let's welcome the next competitor!"

The gate on the right side of the Colosseum opened with a clank. Out came a group scattering flower petals. Walking with delicate steps as light as air across the floral carpet was none other than Sim Ah-ryeon.

She waved gracefully toward the audience, her smile as radiant as sunlight. The reaction was seismic—not from physical force but from sheer adoration.

"Waaaaaah!"

"It's the Saintess!"

"Sain-tess, cham-pi-on! Sain-tess, cham-pi-on!"

"She smiled at me!"

"Eastern! Holy! Eastern! Holy!"

"Blast a path through that Busan bumpkin's head with an ether storm!"

I shuddered. So this was the power of home-field advantage.

But what truly gave me chills was not the crowd's enthusiasm—it was Sim Ah-ryeon's serene expression. Hers was the kind of priceless smile you could frame and label as oh-so-truly divine.

"Yes, the red corner belongs to none other than the Saintess of the Eastern Holy State! The representative of the Mo Gwang-seo Church! Pyongyang Sacred City's most beloved icon, the Northern Saintess—Sim! Ah! Ryeon!"

"Waaaaaaaah!"

"But a question for our host, Noh Do-hwa: As far as I know, Sim Ah-ryeon is a healer who specializes in regeneration. Do you think she can hold her own against the NRMC's Operation Team Leader and Executioner, Yu Ji-won, in a one-on-one battle?"

"Well... Yu Ji-won isn't the type to care much about victory in such duels. Will winning benefit her more or will losing serve her better? That calculation will likely determine the outcome of this match..."

"Oh, I see! So Yu Ji-won could win if she wanted to! If she loses, it's only because she let Sim Ah-ryeon win!"

"What?" a member of the audience cried. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Clearly, Noh Do-hwa is biased in favor of her NRMC colleagues!" I shouted cheerfully. "What do you think, people of Pyongyang Sacred City?"

"Booooo!"

"Resign! Resign!"

Noh Do-hwa wordlessly reached out to strangle me, but alas, her feeble grip was no match for my neck.

"So, will it be NRMC's dagger or the Eastern Holy State's Saintess? To find out, let the first match of the AwakenCup... begin!"

The crowd's roar filled the Colosseum as the gong struck.

Ji-won immediately charged forward.

"Oh?! Yu Ji-won rushes in without looking back as soon as the match starts!"

"She's clearly aiming for the win. Hmm," Do-hwa mused. "Well, considering that the Eastern Holy State is too far from Busan, she must've decided it has no bearing on her career trajectory."

"So, Pyongyang Sacred City is worthless to the NRMC? Is that what you think as the Operations Team Leader? Is that the stance of the entire NRMC?"

"Do you want to die?"

"But—what's this?" I widened my eyes in a show of shock. "Sim Ah-ryeon has offered her left arm without any resistance! Right from the initial clash, she's lost part of her body! Can the red corner recover from this?!"

"Hmm. Does she trust in her regenerative abilities? But sustaining repeated injuries of this scale throughout the match—no matter how miraculous her recovery is—wouldn't that eventually overwhelm even the Northern Saintess?"

"Yet she's smiling! Sim Ah-ryeon is smiling as blood pours from her arm! Could it be that she has a trump card? Or is she just so used to practicing her smile that she cannot make another expression?!"

And then—

[Mr. Undertaker, a post has just gone up on SG Net.]

[I saw it in the pending tab. You should check it out immediately.]

Using the hand not holding the mic, I fumbled with my smartphone and logged into SG Net. Among the countless threads discussing the AwakenCup, one post had rocketed to the top of the trending page:

Collector of All Anomalies: Why the Northern Saintess = Villain OldManGoryeo, explained.

Pffft!

A flood of saliva—99% water, 1% sodium, calcium, potassium, magnesium, chloride, phosphate, and bicarbonate—sprayed from my mouth onto the mic. A professional term for this substance would be "spit."

"What an unbelievable twist!" I shouted. "Just now, this commentator has received a shocking tip-off!"

"What tip-off?"

"On SG Net, a damning exposé by the notorious Constellation Collector of All Anomalies! It reveals that none other than Sim Ah-ryeon, the Northern Saintess herself, is secretly the infamous troll and attention-seeker known as OldManGoryeo!"

"What the actual—"

The Colosseum erupted in collective shock. Among Awakeners, the villain OldManGoryeo was practically a household name.

"That damned Constellation! Again with the lies!"

"But... The evidence in the post seems pretty solid..."

"Seriously? Could the Northern Saintess really be the villain OldManGoryeo?"

"Shut up, you liar!"

Here's the shocking part: Most Constellations were managed by the Saintess of Yongsan in Seoul, but Collector of All Anomalies was uniquely under Sim Ah-ryeon's jurisdiction.

That's right. The exposé currently dominating SG Net? It was authored and uploaded by Sim Ah-ryeon herself, timed perfectly with the match.

"Sim Ah-ryeon, you..."

I shivered again. Ah-ryeon, you constantly push the boundaries of my understanding of humanity.

"Yu Ji-won appears rattled! She's visibly disturbed! Though she continues alternating between daggers and longswords, cutting off Sim Ah-ryeon's left arm, legs, and right arm..."

"It seems ineffective," Noh Do-hwa muttered.

"As the caster points out! Sim Ah-ryeon's limbs regenerate as soon as they're severed! What is this?! Just what kind of regeneration power are we witnessing from the Northern Saintess, humanity's hope holding the line at the Sinuiju front?!"

Ah-ryeon spoke softly in the ring, her lips forming unhurried words. "I can do this all day."

"Damn." Ji-won gritted her teeth. Though she was among my most outstanding disciples, her Aura reserves were finite. Unlike me, she didn't possess a nearly infinite supply.

"And... the mood has shifted." Do-hwa's tone turned reflective. "From an objective perspective, Yu Ji-won is mercilessly butchering Sim Ah-ryeon's limbs over and over. But even for Awakeners desensitized to brutality, this isn't a pleasant sight."

"Oh no! Are you saying...?"

"Today, Sim Ah-ryeon is dressed in her pristine Saintess robes, wearing an unbroken, serene smile. From her past deeds to the current spectacle, she can't help but appear as the embodiment of goodness..."

"And this paragon of virtue, the Saintess who strides onto battlefields to heal soldiers, is being mercilessly slaughtered by the NRMC's resident psychopath?!"

"Exactly. Sports tournaments are, after all, entertainment. They thrive on emotions, on sympathy and hostility. Sim Ah-ryeon seems to grasp this fundamental truth..."

"Incredible! The crowd is now showering Yu Ji-won with boos and jeers!"

And so they were.

"Boooooo!"

"Trash! Trash! Trash!"

"Disgrace to the NRMC!"

"Flash photography is going off in the stands! Spectators are deliberately turning on their flashes while taking photos!"

"It's likely an attempt to upload these revolting images to SG Net and expose the true nature of Yu Ji-won!"

"Though Pyongyang Sacred City is outside NRMC jurisdiction, SG Net is global! Nationwide!"

"Yu Ji-won's expression is priceless..."

"Could the Awakeners of the Eastern Holy State have drained the city's remaining electricity to charge their phones for this very moment?!"

"Meanwhile, the NRMC routinely issues warnings about energy conservation. This is ironic on so many levels..."

"And look!" I stood abruptly. "Yu Ji-won has dropped to her knees on the red sands of the Colosseum!"

"This tournament has a special rule. When a competitor admits defeat, they must kneel and bow to the ground. Otherwise, the match remains unresolved, a rule established by some idiot sitting right next to me..."

"In professional terms, this is called dogeza![1] The magical girls from Japan, invited as guests to this tournament, are stunned! Could they have ever expected to witness such a masterfully executed a dogezaon the Korean Peninsula?!"

"Yu Ji-won's forehead is pressed against the ground..."

"GG!"

The Colosseum exploded into cheers.

"Against all odds! In a match thought to have no chance of victory, Sim Ah-ryeon, the Saintess of the North, Pyongyang's hero, takes the win for the first round!"

"Waaaaaaah!"

"Great Saintess! Great Saintess!"

"Sim Ah-ryeon, cham-pi-on!"

"Pyongyang Sacred City is the Eastern Jerusalem, the Eastern Rome! As prophesied by the Mo Gwang-seo Church!"

As I watched the ecstatic crowd, I pondered a question: Was revealing her hidden identity on SG Net, kept secret for so long, worth it just to win this otherwise meaningless match?

Ah-ryeon.

Ah-ryeon!

Even now, I can't understand you.

Like moths before Zhuge Liang, so too does my understanding pale before your true madness, Ah-ryeon. Before your authentic lunacy, all my mischief as a guild leader seems but a flicker of counterfeit folly.

"The cleanup of the arena will be handled by Jung So-hee, the Awakener from the Gangwon branch of the Church of Unhappiness!"

"Look at that! The rainwater is washing away the blood on the arena grounds. Well, all of it is Sim Ah-ryeon's blood..."

"For those concerned about content ratings, fear not! The Colosseum is currently under a wide-area illusion spell, which alters the blood's color and applies automatic mosaics to any gruesome injuries! Rest assured!"

"What a useless form of censorship. What's even the point in this day and age...?"

"There's always a reason! Now then, let's move on to the second match! Competitors, please make your way to the stage!"

One by one, the matches progressed.

At one point, the arena became momentarily quiet before erupting in deafening cheers at the arrival of the next competitors.

The blue corner: Dang Seo-rin.

The red corner: Cheon Yo-hwa.

This was it—the highlight of the tournament.

Footnotes:

[1] Dogeza (土下座) is an element of traditional Japanese etiquette which involves kneeling directly on the ground and bowing to prostrate oneself while touching one's head to the floor. It is used to show deference to a person of higher status, as a deep apology or to express the desire for a favor from said person.

-x-X-x-

The Commentator III

Oh Dok-seo vs. Manyo Neko.

"Hoohoo! Behold, Far Eastern Magical Girl! This is my ultimate defense—AT Field!"

"Nya?! What is this, nyan?! Why doesn't my magic work at all, nya?!"

"No matter what attack you throw at me, you won't harm even a single strand of my hair! Wait, flying is cheating! Get down! Get dooooown...!"

"Oh. The barrier is gone, meow."

"..."

"Nyanpunch!"

┏ Oh Dok-seo: Defeat

┗ Manyo Neko: Victory

Dok-seo made a disgraceful exit, failing to secure even one win. The audience, especially those who were fans of LiteraryGirl, booed relentlessly.

Lee Ha-yul vs. Phantom Blade.

"..."

"...!"

"...?!"

"..."

"...!!"

"..."

Both competitors, for the record, had speech impairments.

Furthermore, Ha-yul had no legs and relied on mobility aids, while Phantom Blade lived up to her name, having no arms.

Theirs was probably the quietest match in the history of the tournament. Ha-yul spent the entire time running away, planting puppet strings throughout the arena. In the end, she used them to cocoon Phantom Blade like a caterpillar and hoist her into the air.

┏ Lee Ha-yul: Victory

┗ Phantom Blade: Defeat

Surprisingly, the audience enjoyed it. However, SG Net later accused me of being biased in my commentary toward Ha-yul, calling me a "famous puppeteer's daddy." I deleted the baseless slander using admin privileges.

Lee Baek vs. Seo Gyu.

"Damn it. Why the hell do I have to...?"

"Hey, you piece of shit!"

"What? You don't even know me. Why the insults?"

"You look like a shitty bastard. Do I need to see you twice to know it, asshole?!"

"You son of a— You're dead meat."

"Bring it on, you piece of shit!"

A legendary anger management showdown.

Threatened with exclusion from life itself if they refused to participate, Lee Baek was thoroughly beaten like a ragdoll by Seo Gyu.

While earlier matches showcased dazzling skills, this one was a mudslinging brawl at its lowest level, yet the audience was ecstatic with it.

For a brief moment, I thought I saw someone with pink hair clapping gleefully in the stands. But I refused to glance in that direction.

┏ Lee Baek: Defeat

┗ Seo Gyu: Victory

Though many other matches stood out, I'll skip them in the interest of brevity. After all, I don't intend to bloat your data usage by expanding my commentary unnecessarily.

From the Round of 32, to the Round of 16, and then to the Quarterfinals.

Finally, at the cusp of the Semifinals and the Finals...

Dang Seo-rin vs. Cheon Yo-hwa.

The two main instigators who forced me to host this international sports event now faced each other on a single-log bridge.

"From the blue corner, we have the Great Witch of Samcheon, guild leader of the Korean Peninsula's top guild, idol of the masses, and leader of the Korean Awakener Federation—Dang Seo-rin! Oh! As I speak, her traveling fans fill one side of the Colosseum with fireworks!"

"Magical fireworks. A sight occasionally seen in Samcheon's home base of Busan. They're enchanted to release fragrant scents as the smoke dissipates..."

"This refreshing scent—it's grapefruit! Grapefruit, folks! Tell us, Noh Do-hwa: why do you think Samcheon's witches chose grapefruit as the scent for their fireworks?"

"Well, the Baekhwa Student Council President's hair is orange, and grapefruits resembles oranges, don't they? But unlike oranges, grapefruit has blood-red flesh when peeled..."

"So, they're saying, 'We'll turn that orange into a bloodstain'?"

"Yes, it's a poetic metaphor, I suppose..."

"Ah! Spectacular! Even their fireworks taunt the opposing team. Just how many months did Samcheon spend preparing for this match?!"

Down on the stage, Yo-hwa's expression twisted while Dang Seo-rin smirked smugly.

"What's this?! The Baekhwa cheer squad has suddenly appeared in witch costumes!"

"They look like cheerleaders in disguise..."

"Baekhwa students dressed as witches? Isn't that almost sacrilegious? But... Oh my! The Baekhwa guild members are tearing off the witch costumes!"

"Oh..."

"Revealing their true form—Baekhwa school uniforms! Pure white sailor uniforms! The witch outfits were a ruse all along! They're secretly sailor uniform enthusiasts!"

"They literally tore them apart..."

"But wait, there's more! A doll wearing a witch hat is now burning on a pole! It's a witch hunt! A declaration of intent to incinerate witches!"

"Actually, Undertaker, look closer. The doll isn't just wearing a witch hat..."

"It has a train printed on its clothes! 'Train Otakus Suck!' That's the chant echoing from Baekhwa's stands at this very moment!"

"Fascinating. While Samcheon's fans exude elegance, Baekhwa's supporters showcase raw, direct provocations. People truly play to their stereotypes..."

"Ah! The provocation is too much! The two sides' cheering squads are clashing! Aura and magic are flying everywhere, and parts of the Colosseum's outer wall are collapsing!"

"Once again, thanks to Pyongyang Sacred City for hosting this mess. I'm so glad I blocked Busan as a venue choice..."

"Amid the chaos of hooligan clashes, the match... begins!"

Despite my hope for a draw—a happy ending for all—fortune was not so kind.

The battle between Seo-rin and Yo-hwa turned into... Well, a shitshow, to put it bluntly.

"A high schooler? Ha! You're just a glorified dropout. Oh wait, you didn't even graduate, did you? Acting all smug, calling Undertaker 'Teacher' every chance you get. Don't you have any shame?"

"Ugh. Speaking of shame, isn't it worse to be a train nerd cosplaying around? Oh, but considering how you spend all day posting cringeworthy shit on SG Net, I guess expecting self-awareness was too much..."

"Cosplaying? Are you talking about the sailor uniform with the '7th grader' badge? People envy what they lack, and clearly, your education complex is showing."

"Complex? Compared to someone who constantly makes up Latin lyrics to stroke her own vanity, I'm nothing!"

"Die!"

"You die!"

So went the exchange between the so-called leaders of the two greatest guilds on the Korean Peninsula.

For the record, this was the sanitized version of their dialogue, edited for dignity.

Was this truly the level of discourse we had reached? Truly, my heart swelled with... something.

"Raaaagh!"

The battle raged on for a grueling forty minutes. When both of their Aura reserves were exhausted, the fight devolved into a brawl. Yo-hwa finally gained the upper hand by mounting Seo-rin and pinning her down.

"Kneel! I said kneel already! Just give up!"

"Ugh... Agh... Mmph..."

Yo-hwa forced Seo-rin into a dogeza, clutching her head and slamming it down. Meanwhile, Seo-rin gnawed on Yo-hwa's ankle like a rabid animal.

Dignity? Decorum? Nothing of the sort remained to be seen.

"This is dogeza! This counts, right? Referee! Refereeeee!"

"Hoek! Validated!"

Fairy No. 264, acting as the referee, confirmed the match's outcome.

With that, Yo-hwa let out a roar of triumph. Despite her Aura being depleted, her cry echoed powerfully through the Colosseum. Her victorious pose resembled the iconic moment when Jungle Pocket crossed the finish line first in the 2001 Japanese Derby.[1]

"I won! I won fair and square! Not a single one of you can deny it! I defeated Dang Seo-rin!"

"Ugh..."

"Hahaha! Ha! Hahaha! Teacher! I, Cheon Yo-hwa, the President of Baekhwa Girls' High, am the best mage on the Korean Peninsula! I am the strongest!"

Clap.

Someone began clapping.

Clap. Clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap.

Moved by her roar, the audience rose to their feet, delivering a standing ovation.

Unfortunately, the street fight between the two guilds' fans had already resulted in a victory for Samcheon. Their supporters had no cheers left to offer, while their battered witches could barely muster half-hearted jeers.

The Colosseum stood in ruins, its skeletal walls exposed as if the scene had shifted from ancient Rome to modern Italy.

We were witnessing history.

This was the apocalypse. A world where neither weak sports nor weak spectators could survive.

┏ Dang Seo-rin: Defeat

┗ Cheon Yo-hwa: Victory

I grabbed the mic.

"What a moving moment! The long-forbidden debate—Dang Seo-rin versus Cheon Yo-hwa—a topic that would reduce all conversation participants to metaphorical Russians, has finally been resolved! Noh Do-hwa, your thoughts?"

"Just look at this mess. I'm so glad we didn't hold this in Busan..."

"Thank you. And now, despite her elimination in the Quarterfinals, Sim Ah-ryeon is healing the injured competitors. Oh! Dang Seo-rin! The match is over! No more fighting!"

"Uh oh. Fairy No. 264 stepped in to break it up and... got obliterated..."

"Graaaaaah!"

"Well, it's not like anyone cares whether a fairy lives or dies..."

"Your sacrifice will not be forgotten, Fairy No. 264!"

Order was finally restored to the arena.

Though in the process, the already-halved Colosseum was reduced to a quarter of its original structure.

There is an epilogue.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Out of the original 80,000 spectators, only 20,000 remain! A historic first in sports history—the Finals have fewer viewers than the Round of 32!"

"I can't even tell if this is a tournament or a mass hospitalization. Sim Ah-ryeon is working overtime..."

"This is precisely why, despite all the slander and accusations, I've stuck with Sim Ah-ryeon since our days at Busan Station. And now, at last! The Finals of the first AwakenCup—determining the strongest Awakener in Korea, no, the world! Let's welcome our competitors!"

"In the blue corner, still bearing bite marks from Dang Seo-rin, it's Cheon Yo-hwa..."

"And in the red corner!" I cried, pointing to the arena. "A mysterious mask! Descended from the ruins north of the Han River in Seoul! Their alias remains unknown! Is this Gaksital? No, it's Potato Mask! Potato Mask, enter the ring!"

Standing there was Saintess.

No, not the fake "Northern Saintess" of the Eastern Holy State. The real Saintess, the one who had been secluded in Yongsan. A true Saintess in every sense of the word—a genuine recluse.

Not that I was implying Ah-ryeon wasn't a "true" Saintess. But when comparing their reclusiveness, well...

Perhaps that's why both of them fell under the same category of Saintess?

Anyway.

"As the match begins— Wait, what?! Cheon Yo-hwa is already on the ground in a dogeza?!"

"If I'm reading her lips right, she just let out a confused 'eh?' Looks like even she doesn't understand how she got into that position so quickly. It's as if time stopped, her body was manipulated into the dogeza, and then time resumed as if nothing happened..."

"This bizarre scene has indeed occurred, folks! Victory! Yet another victory! The mysterious Potato Mask! Every match—from the Round of 32 to the Finals—ended in a one-second KO!"

"Well, they're blatantly overpowered..."

"Here and now! The world's strongest Awakener has been decided! This has been Undertaker on color commentary!"

"And Noh Do-hwa as your host. Please never hold an event like this again..."

"Thank you, everyone! Until we meet again at the second AwakenCup!"

"You bastard..."

The First NRMC Awakener Fighting Tournament

Hosted by the NRMC, held in Pyongyang Sacred City

Winner: The Saintess

Footnotes:

[1] Jungle Pocket was the racehorse that won the 2001 Japanese Derby in a close race. The photo taken right after his win shows the horse mid-stride with mouth agape, looking like a human being smarmily bragging about their victory in a very cringe way.

-x-X-x-

The Hypocrite I

A certain saying floats around the world as though it were a universal truth:

『People can't be fixed.』

I disagree.

I, the Undertaker, stand proudly against this desolate era of "human immutability" with my firm belief in "human improvement"—a conviction which so happens to stem from the fact that I can pull life's gacha as many times as I want, unlike ordinary non-regressors.

"You piece of shit! What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Hoiyah."

My delicate care had once transformed Seo Gyu, notorious for his anger management issues and frequent quick exits, into a warden for the Anomalies.

And that's not all. I'd turned OldManGoryeo into the Saintess of the North and a perennial chuunibyou dropout into the Priestess of an Outer God.

A career so dazzling, some might even call me the life coach for all mankind!

Even so, a daunting new challenge lay before this regressor.

"Hmm?"

Hair so silvery sleek it was worthy of being called a national treasure slipped elegantly over its owner's shoulder as she tilted her head, staring blankly at me as I stepped into the convenience store.

"It's strange," she mused. "I set up a sophisticated booby trap at the entrance. How did you get in without making a sound?"

Yu Ji-won.

The greatest psychopath on the Korean Peninsula, and a first-round loser in the First NRMC Awakener Fighting Tournament, also known as the AwakenCup.

If it were me, I would have holed up in the Saintess's house in Yongsan out of sheer embarrassment and lived the rest of my days as a recluse. And yet here Ji-won was, utterly unbothered and blank expression unbroken.

This did make sense, of course. That event hadn't occurred in this cycle.

"Are you the owner of this convenience store?" I asked by way of greeting.

"Yes, I am."

The lie slid effortlessly from her lips without even a hint of excess saliva. It was hard to believe that this woman, who now claimed to be the owner, had murdered the original store owner and staff to take over the place.

"Two packs of Marlboro Reds, please."

"Marlboro Reds, got it." Ji-won grabbed the cigarettes from the shelf. As she handed them over, she simultaneously pulled a hatchet from her waistband and swung it at my wrist.

Clang!

Her eyes widened in shock. To be fair to her, if a hatchet blade shattered like glass upon contacting human skin, even a psychopath whose heart didn't stock the "startled" emotion would feel some sense of surprise.

"Did you just try to attack me?"

Ji-won immediately dropped her hostile stance. "My apologies. You entered my hideout so suddenly that I became overly cautious. Please, spare me." Both hands raised in surrender, she subtly adjusted her posture to highlight her best features—transitioning straight from violence to seduction. "I have many talents. If you spare my life, I will pledge lifelong loyalty to you."

As evidenced by the fact that I commented on her excellent hair care the moment I entered, Ji-won was the type who maintained her hygiene even in the apocalypse. Really, she used everything in her power, even in harsh environments, to maximize her assets.

This person was a natural-born genius of chaos, a leader meant for turbulent times.

In awe of her, it occurred to me that perhaps someone like Yu Ji-won, who embodied the purest of psychopathic energies, was more suited to being the protagonist of this story than a regressor like me...

"Fine," I said coldly. "I'll spare you. But even so, I will never forget that you tried to attack me."

"I am already grateful that you've spared my life. Furthermore, you are entirely correct. I will work tirelessly to regain your trust, so please watch over me with a discerning eye."

...all while she subtly confirmed that her life had already been spared and gaslit me into believing that keeping her alive was necessary to regain trust.

Had Yu Ji-won been born during the Three Kingdoms period, she could have gathered enough foster fathers to form not just a soccer team but an entire league.

It had taken hundreds of loops to perfect this method of quickly securing her loyalty.

It was the 703rd cycle.

As always, I brought Ji-won into my party based on an "ancient promise." Afterward, I revealed that I was a regressor.

This time, however, I set a slightly different goal.

An almost impossibly difficult objective. A quest so ambitious that even Napoleon might have hesitated to include it in his lexicon.

『Does the Silver-haired Psychopath Understand the Human Heart? Yu Ji-won Rehabilitation Project!』

This, my friends, was my ultimate passion project.

If the demon butler Cube could raise a common girl into a princess, and Helen Keller could be transformed into a remarkable adult under the guidance of Anne Sullivan, then surely a seasoned regressor like me could remodel a psychopath into someone with genuine emotions.[1]

"That's the purpose of this project."

"Hmm," Ji-won hummed, resting her chin on her hand as she stared at the chalkboard. "Pardon me, but I question whether I'm worth pouring so much of your time into."

"Oh, this is just a hobby of mine, something I focus on as a pastime. I usually assign myself side quests like this every cycle."

"I see. I'm honored to be part of your hobby." For a brief moment, her expression darkened. "But I'm worried."

"What's bothering you?"

"It's just... I'm already quite 'human,' you see. I fear I cannot become any more human than I already am. How could I possibly satisfy you...?"

"?"

Thus began the psychopath test. (Let's all solve this together!)

Q. In an apocalypse scenario, you break into someone's home intending to loot it. However, the house is already ransacked, with nothing of value left. On the floor lies the homeowner's corpse, and next to it is a bottle of bleach. It's clear they committed suicide. Nearby, their pet dog is circling the body, seemingly unaware of its owner's death.

What do you think when you see the dog?

"Thankfully, I didn't come up empty-handed. I kill the dog for food."

Q. Today, you and your companions successfully looted supplies. In the basement, you found a wine cellar.

"This is amazing!" your close companion A cheers excitedly. "It's been ages since we've had any alcohol! Sure, we should save most of it, but why not let loose and get drunk tonight, just for once?"

Other companions, weary from life in the apocalypse, quickly agree.

What do you think is going through A's mind?

"They're planning to get everyone else drunk so they can hoard the spoils and kill the rest of us. The key clue is that it's been ages since we've had alcohol. It'll hit fast and hard."

Q. How do you feel after killing someone?

"Which killing are you referring to...? Oh, well, if you're referring to the most recent one, then I was relieved. There were already so many bodies around that I didn't have to bother burying another one. Disposing of corpses is far more tedious than the act of killing itself."

Q. What is love?

"Love is a justification humans use when they can't explain their own motives or reasoning. They convince themselves that 'This is love' or 'It's for love' to rationalize their behavior. In other words, a convenient invention that gives people a feeling of self-satisfaction.

"If it's for oneself, it's self-love. For others, it's romantic love. For one's nation, it's patriotism. For one's hometown, it's regional love. It's a versatile tool that can be applied anywhere—and quite an effective one, at that."

Q. Do you derive any covert pleasure or superiority when explaining things like this?

"I'm sorry...? I don't understand the question. Why would anyone derive pleasure from stating simple facts? Such things aren't granted by concepts like self-assurance, they're simply innate, akin to having a soul. My soul, as it is, is already noble."

Q. Are you pro-Shu, pro-Wei, or pro-Wu?

"I support whatever faction you prefer, Your Excellency. Hmm? Sima Yi? What a coincidence! He happens to be my favorite as well."[2]

Ding-ding-ding!

"Yu Ji-won! Being a psychopath suits you!"

"Why?" she whined, sulking.

I continued my efforts to "reform" this silver-haired psychopath. I had her assist at orphanages and save ordinary people from life-threatening situations.

"How does it feel? Thanks to you, these people's lives have changed. You even saved their lives. This is true positive influence. Doesn't it make you proud?"

"If a life cannot take responsibility for itself, it will soon face danger again. I feel like I wasted my time."

Failure!

"Ji-won, kindness comes from love. You don't know love, that's why you're cruel. It's sad that you don't know love."

"Thank you for pitying me, Your Excellency. I'm so frail that I always need your understanding and forgiveness."

"I don't know about that... Anyway, Ji-won, what you need most right now is romance."

She tilted her head. "Romance... you say?"

"Yes."

"A complete waste of time. If I were a politician, I'd fake a harmonious family life for votes, but democracy is dead. Why invest in romance? It's not like my love life is crucial to earning your favor as a key figure, is it?"

"Actually, it is critical!"

"I'll start dating immediately."

Unfortunately, even after exhausting all my connections, finding someone who could make Ji-won's heart flutter was impossible.

"Fairy No. 264!" I cried. "Help me!"

"Hoooek! Love is known to trigger dopamine surges in our kind, the Bakus! I'll gladly assist!"

Even if reality couldn't provide it, we could create a dream simulation. Thus, we began searching for Ji-won's ideal partner in her dreams.

"Alright, 264. Bring in the most handsome man in the world."

"Hoooek! Summoning!"

"Zzz..."

As Yu Ji-won slept soundly, oblivious to her surroundings, the tests began.

"Hoho! Comrade Undertaker! She just met a super-hunk amalgam of Leonardo DiCaprio and Marlon Brando in their prime!"

"What was her heart rate?"

"The same as when she swatted a mosquito at home!"

Failure.

"Bring in someone highly educated and cultured. Someone who doesn't flaunt it, no, but radiates a quiet depth of character."

"A man so morally perfect that even Jesus and Buddha would want to be his sworn brothers!"

"Heart rate?"

"The same as when she saw horse dung on the street."

Failure.

"Summon the strongest warrior! A born conqueror who can cleave the heavens and storm the battlefield with unmatched might!"

"Oh! There's a slight reaction!"

"You traitor! So you're into muscle-bound brutes, huh? Well, Ji-won, everyone has a type!"

"Oh, wait. When the conqueror starts fleeing from Liu Bang, her heart rate drops again."

Failure.

"What about someone with absolute power in this dream world? Make them unattractive, morally bankrupt, and physically weak."

"Hoooooek! Heart rate 90, 100, 110! It's climbing! This is the highest recorded yet, almost as high as when you appeared in her dream, Comrade Undertaker! But it's odd. There's no similarity between you and this figure, aside from power. So why is the response identical?"

Failure.

Thus continued Yu Ji-won's rehabilitation project, fraught with countless failures and endless humiliation.

Footnotes:

[1] Cube is a popular support character in the Princess Maker franchise who helps raise young women into the title of princess while Anne Sullivan was a real-life teacher who taught a blind and deaf Helen Keller how to communicate.

[2] Sima Yi was a talented statesman and general of the Cao Wei dynastic state, one of the three major kingdoms warring for dominance during the Three Kingdoms period. He was so skilled that he gradually amassed power and influence for his family until the last Wei emperors were essentially puppets of the Sima family.

Chapter 1466 - IR 48