The Exile I
The following chapter includes depictions of torture and violence that some may find upsetting. Reader discretion is advised.
I strive to be as honest as possible with all of you. Naturally, I have no intention of glossing over Yu Ji-won's crimes or the responsibilities I myself carry.
Let me warn you in advance: the tone of this story is dark and twisted. Even so, the events that have already occurred cannot simply be dismissed as mere blemishes.
The disgrace of the National Road Management Corps, and the atonement for Yu Ji-won's abductions and murders during the 703rd regression.
Let us delve a little deeper into the prisoner squad.
As I mentioned previously, news of the National Road Management Corps's Operations Team Leader abducting innocent civilians shook the nation. The public reaction was—
"Wow, what a goddamn bitch."
"What's Dang Seo-rin doing, not using this criminal for a public dismemberment show in the square?"
"But did Noh Do-hwa, the Corps's commander, really need to step down too?"
"Who knows? Anyway, how about some beer today? Let's splurge a bit."
"You must be making a lot these days."
"I went hunting in the Void last time, and the clothes in a dilapidated department store were completely intact. I got lucky."
—surprisingly underwhelming.
The decisive factor must have been that Ji-won meticulously targeted individuals with no connections.
In the age of the apocalypse, there was no need to ask if Anomalies ever tired of tormenting humans. People had long since learned to operate under the assumption that human torment remained endlessly entertaining, making every moment feel new and exciting.
Mortals had grown desensitized to death itself. They had suffered too much loss to react otherwise. What mattered more was whether their territory had been encroached upon or their interests harmed.
If their family, friends, or colleagues had been tortured? Civilians and Awakeners alike would have taken action, of course. In this era, civilized disobedients were a nonexistent demographic.
However, Ji-won exclusively hunted individuals without ties.
The total number of abductees was 173. Of those, 13 died. And yet, there were shockingly few people enraged on behalf of these victims—only a handful, really. Even Do-hwa's resignation as the Corps commander was met with pushback by the majority, who argued that she didn't need to go to such extremes.
Ji-won's thoroughness was, as always, thoroughly impressive. Not only did she give her all for her success, but she also accounted for failure and took precautions. People of her sort are inherently formidable.
"I will never forgive her."
Nevertheless, achieving a perfect crime was impossible, even for the ever-thorough Yu Ji-won.
It was an inevitable conclusion. Even if the nearly entire world ignored the victims of the Misfortune Workshop, there were at least 160 exceptions who all shared one important trait: surviving the same season of hell together.
In other words, they had lived to tell their tale.
"No matter what happens, Yu Ji-won, I will never forgive you—not even in death. Never."
Among the 160 survivors, some were simply glad to have lived and wished never to be involved with the psychopath Yu Ji-won again. Others could not escape their trauma and either died by suicide or disappeared into the Void, never to be seen again. Others still settled into the luxurious residential area in Busan provided by the National Road Management Corps and tried to piece their lives back together, finding stable jobs when they were once again able.
And some did none of those things.
"You should feel hell too."
She did not run away from Yu Ji-won.
She did not let her trauma destroy her.
Nor did she try to rebuild her life.
She simply raged and hated.
Kim Ji-soo. A name that, when broken down into its defining Chinese characters, means "a pond gathered in a swamp."
Among the 160 survivors, she was particularly memorable.
Today, let us discuss this girl.
The following content is based on testimony provided by Yu Ji-won following her arrest by the National Road Management Corps and her subsequent cooperation with the investigation. Hence, some parts of the story may be inaccurate.
The interrogation was attended by Commander Noh Do-hwa, myself, and others.
The individual facing Yu Ji-won was the deputy leader of the Final Judgement Division of the Corps—a veteran investigator with the Lie Detector ability. This ability, however, came with the critical limitation of being usable only once a year. Luckily, it was fully charged for this particular interrogation.
Q: State your name and title.
"Yu Ji-won. Former Operations Team Leader of the National Road Management Corps. Officially second in rank within the Corps. Secretary to the Awakener known as the Undertaker."
The investigator nodded. Truth.
Beside him, a scribe from the Forbidden Books Department recorded the proceedings with a quill suspended in midair.
The interrogation unfolded in a dimly lit basement. After a brief warm-up of basic questions and answers, the investigator began probing for the details of the crimes.
Q: When you first began, did you have a specific objective for torturing your victims?
"Torture is a challenging task."
Yu Ji-won rested her chin on her hand, the chains on her wrists clinking with the movement.
"I'm not sure if you'll believe me, but I'm an amateur when it comes to torture. My specialty is murder and disposal, not the deliberate infliction of prolonged pain. I never trained specifically for such methods."
Q: Please continue.
"One option was to practice torture techniques myself through human experimentation, but I was more interested in artificially cultivating Awakeners. So I approached the matter practically."
Q: Practically?
"Creating an Awakener with the ability of Torture."
That was Yu Ji-won's first goal.
"I wanted torture to manifest as 'sustainable pain.' Additionally, I wanted no physical evidence of the torture to remain."
Q: What do you mean?
"For example, inflicting the pain of having an arm shredded by a saw, but leaving the arm intact."
(Murmurs among the officers in the back)
(Noh Do-hwa silencing the noise with a gesture)
Q: Let me confirm: you aimed to create an Awakener who could deliver pain without physically harming the body. Is that correct?
"Exactly."
Q: Did you succeed in creating such an individual?
"It was not an easy challenge."
But Yu Ji-won succeeded.
More accurately, she failed until she succeeded.
"Think about it, Investigator. To make someone feel the pain of being burned alive, you have to experience it yourself. The agony of bones being ground, limbs being severed, the chest being ripped open to expose a beating heart..."
Q: Did you experiment with all these forms of torture?
"Yes. But that was just the first condition. The second was even more difficult."
Q: The second condition?
"The victim must maintain relentless hatred toward me. They must be filled with the determination to inflict as much suffering on me as they endured."
Yu Ji-won exhaled a sigh, remaining expressionless.
"I realized that humans rarely keep their hatred fed. Most break under pain. They beg and grovel, pleading for mercy, offering to live as slaves just to end the torment. People these days are weak-willed."
Q: ...
Truth.
"For someone to Awaken with Torture—more specifically, Phantom Torture—they would have to endure all of this while harboring unyielding resentment and anger. During the early days of running the Misfortune Workshop, I failed to meet these criteria and killed 11 subjects."
Q: You succeeded on the 12th?
"Correct."
Q: Who was this individual?
"Kim Ji-soo."
(Commander Noh Do-hwa whispers to an officer to verify this information)
(The investigator composes himself and resumes)
Q: We found no visible injuries among the survivors. How did you conceal the evidence of your own self-inflicted torture?
"Ah. I traveled to Japan, sustained severe burns and injuries, and sought treatment from Uehara Shino for healing potions."
Truth.
(More murmurs)
"After that, I regularly visited Uehara Shino once every six months, mimicking injuries to request more potions. She ended up providing me with large quantities of the medicine."
(Regarding this, I personally secure testimony from Uehara Shino, a member of the Magical Girl Association)
(Uehara Shino says to me, "She told me she didn't want to worry you, so she came to me instead of someone like Sim Ah-ryeon.")
"Though Uehara Shino's potions are neither as absolute nor efficient as Sim Ah-ryeon's healing powers, they worked well enough. This allowed me to minimize fatalities during my experiments. Kim Ji-soo, too, appeared outwardly unharmed thanks to the excessive use of these potions."
Q: What happened to Kim Ji-soo after she Awakened with Phantom Torture?
"Naturally, I made her my assistant."
Q: Assistant?
"For example, if I ordered her to flay the skin off Prisoner 110 with a razor, Kim Ji-soo would transmit the pain of having one's skin flayed rather than actually performing the act itself."
Q: So you were the one issuing orders, and Kim Ji-soo carried them out?
"Hmm. That's one way of looking at it."
Q: According to your earlier testimony, Kim Ji-soo harbored immense hatred toward you. How did you make her obey your commands?
"Through various means. For instance, if Kim Ji-soo refused to comply, I would personally execute the prisoners."
Q: Excuse me?
"In other words, I'd threaten her by saying, 'Because you didn't obey, I have no choice but to conduct actual torture instead of imaginary torture.'"
Q: I see.
"As I mentioned before, humans are generally weak-willed by nature. Prisoners whose limbs I actually severed couldn't help but wail and plead with Kim Ji-soo, begging her to apply Phantom Torture on them instead."
Q: ...
Truth.
"From the prisoners' perspective, the only solace they had was that their real bodies remained intact. But when even that was stripped away, what else was left for them to cling to?"
(The investigator glances at Commander Noh Do-hwa, who signals for the interrogation to continue)
"That's how the twelfth fatality occurred. It was the first death after Kim Ji-soo Awakened."
Q: How did Kim Ji-soo react?
"Surprisingly, she continued to defy me. Her mental state had demonstrably deteriorated, of course. She suffered a breakdown and even used her powers against me."
Q: She attacked you?
"Yes, but her resistance was futile. She inflicted all the pain she had experienced onto me, yet by then, I had already become desensitized to most forms of agony."
Truth.
Yu Ji-won's confrontation with me at the Misfortune Workshop revealed the same. Even with her limbs broken, her fighting spirit never wavered.
There lay the secret behind her endurance.
"While I wasn't immune to Kim Ji-soo's Phantom Torture, the impact wasn't significant. After all, her ability didn't cause real injuries, and her wrists and arms were bound. Essentially... it was just a tantrum. Nothing more, nothing less."
Truth.
Q: ...
"I decided to turn her rebellion into an opportunity. Each time she used Phantom Torture on me, I documented the pain and incorporated it into the next prisoner's torture session."
Truth.
Q: I see.
"For instance, if she inflicted the pain of having all nails ripped out on me—which, incidentally, did happen—I would ensure the next prisoner experienced the same during their session."
Truth.
Q: ...
"Naturally, Kim Ji-soo would scream in shock, demanding to know why I added unplanned torture methods. I always had a response prepared."
Because you defied me, I'm simply passing on the pain to someone else.
"She grew increasingly agitated, yet her resolve visibly weakened."
Continue defying me if you wish. Just know that others will suffer more as a result.
"Eventually, Kim Ji-soo lowered her metaphorical claws. After the thirteenth death, she broke down and begged me through her tears."
I'll do it. I'll follow your orders.
Please.
Yu Ji-won. Mistress. Please.
"From that day onward, I gained the perfect assistant for the Misfortune Workshop."
(Chaos erupts among the former members of Yu Ji-won's operations team present at the interrogation)
(At this point, the deputy leader of the Final Judgement Division reports extreme stress and requests a recess in the investigation)
(Commander Noh Do-hwa grants the request)
(End of Day 1 of the investigation)
-x-X-x-
The Exile II
Kim Ji-soo's name existed only as a sound. She did not know the meaning of the Chinese characters associated with her name, and the person who could have told her had already died, disappearing from her life a long time ago. Or perhaps recently.
"What a common name," Yu Ji-won remarked knowingly. "As Confucius said, all things must begin with their names. The same goes for Awakeners. I will give you a name."
池 or Ji for "pond." 藪 or soo for "swamp."
"You are a swamp gathered like a pond in the most secluded corners of the world... You don't understand? That's fine. You will understand in due time."
Ji-won assigned hanja to the names of every person she kidnapped—a term she sometimes replaced with "adopted." She did not create new names entirely but rather retained the pronunciation of their original names, simply altering their meanings.
Hence, she was not a mother but a "godmother." Not a figure of blessing or guidance but someone who forcibly took the place of a mother. That was the role Ji-won imposed upon herself.
Before dozens of her "adoptees," Ji-won gave a calm speech.
"The world is overflowing with Anomalies. These Anomalies are enemies of humanity itself, mocking and degrading it."
Ji-soo knew this.
"You have left the task of fighting these Anomalies to others simply because you did not Awaken. This is strange. Anomalies do not discriminate between the ordinary and the Awakened when they kill. You, too, are direct participants in this war for survival."
This, too, she understood.
"You are lazy. Irresponsible. You believe Awakening is a divine blessing and have fled from the battlefield, forfeiting even the opportunity to channel your anger and hatred. Therefore—I will help you."
This was harder to understand.
"I ask only one thing of you."
Ji-won's expressionless eyes swept over her adoptees. According to one of them (whose face Ji-soo no longer remembered), the brush of her gaze felt like a blade slicing through a person's entire being.
Ji-soo testified that she felt Ji-won's gaze linger for a particularly long moment on her.
"Face your wounds."
Difficult words followed.
"Do not look away. Do not flee. Unlike me, you have powerful emotions. Those emotions are your weapons. Look directly at yourself, at the reasons for your pain, your suffering, your desires."
The godmother spoke.
"Discipline yourselves."
Discipline: To overcome oneself.
Discipline: To loathe oneself to the extreme.
"Only then will you Awaken."
And so, hell began.
The details of that hell have already been described in Ji-won's testimony.
Ji-soo broke. Many times.
"Ji-soo, you have talent."
A talent she would have been better off without.
"The treatment of Awakeners and the treatment of ordinary people are worlds apart. Like it or not, this era is led by Awakeners. Rejoice, Ji-soo. You have finally reached a position where you can decide your own fate."
Lies. If that were true, why did this hell never end?
"Hmph," Ji-won scoffed with a tilt to her head. "How selfish. I'm disappointed. You Awakened before anyone else. Now it is your turn to guide your peers, is it not?"
...
"Someone I admire deeply and to whom I am loyal once said, 'You cannot truly be human unless you learn to take responsibility.' If so, then the person who takes the most responsibility must be the most human. Ji-soo, Awakening is not the end. Become human."
Nothing made sense anymore.
In Ji-soo's mind, righteousness and evil intertwined. Her brain burned like molten lava, but the oppressive weight of the ceiling above prevented the magma from erupting.
It simply pooled. And kept pooling.
Each attempt to release it resulted in even harsher consequences.
The godmother was a terrifying figure.
"Excellent, Ji-soo."
The most defeating part was that everything unfolded just as Ji-won had claimed.
The unconnected individuals, destined to die namelessly in the Void as ordinary people, truly became Awakeners.
When she obeyed her godmother's orders as an "assistant," her peers also began Awakening one by one.
Ji-won was right.
The godmother was never wrong.
Pain was the essence, and suffering was a blessing. But if that was true, then wasn't a world that affirmed such suffering fundamentally wrong?
"You will undoubtedly become a far more human human than I ever could."
A swamp pooled in the world's most secluded corner.
Only then did Ji-soo realize that the water at the swamp's deepest point burned like molten lava.
When the investigation concluded, Ji-won was given her final sentence: lifetime membership in the prisoner squad.
"So, basically, they want you to fight and die."
"Hmph. I'm confident I won't die, at least."
The squad she joined was named the 703 Punishment Unit.
I, the Undertaker, had personally chosen the name. It wasn't for any grand reason—it simply referenced the events of the 703rd cycle.
"Fine. It's not like your crimes can be atoned for by quietly dying. I'll make sure you never die."
"It's an honor of a lifetime, Your Excellency."
"At least pretendto feel sorry."
"My apologies, but I resolved long ago to always be sincere in heart when before Your Excellency."
Naturally, I also joined the 703 Unit. After all, I was the one who had decided to take in a serial killer as a comrade. It wasn't just Ji-won either. Even Ha-yul, who had murdered her own father, was accepted.
I could never separate myself from the actions of my comrades, nor did I wish to.
"I mean, isn't hunting Anomalies your daily routine anyway? Whether it's the prisoner squad or the punishment squad, it's all the same work, right?"
Do-hwa's exasperated comment was not entirely wrong. For a regressor, death was never the ultimate punishment. Taking responsibility through life was the only option.
Ha-yul immediately joined the 703 Unit. Given her infamous patricide, no one could argue against her inclusion.
Approved.
"Me too, mister!"
"No, Dok-seo, you don't even have a crime to your name."
"Mmm... Habitual negligence causing suffering to readers?"
"If you know that, write your damn novel!"
"Ugh, I was trying to join to help you, and this is how you treat me?! Fine! If you don't let me in, I'll start stabbing random people!"
When Dok-seo threatened to commit actual crimes, we had no choice but to accept her into the 703 Punishment Unit. Also, before retiring, Do-hwa falsified documents to assign Dok-seo a plethora of heinous charges.
Approved.
"Can you believe Dok-seo was actually a middle manager abducting civilians under Ji-won's orders? Shocking. Disappointing."
"I didn't ask for such detailed charges, dammit... Fine."
That day, readers on SG Net received an unprecedented announcement:
[Due to the author's involvement in serious crimes, the series will be indefinitely suspended.]
Readers wailed.
And so, Ji-won, myself, Ha-yul, Dok-seo—as well as a handful of other serious offenders whose numbers fluctuated because of frequent deaths—formed the 703 Punishment Unit. We were deployed only to the harshest, most dangerous frontlines. Without me, survival would have been impossible.
We could not stay in Busan, nor could we enter Sejong or Pyongyang. As prisoners, we camped in temporary barracks near battlefields, constantly moving from one war zone to another.
Sometimes, Yo-hwa or Seo-rin would secretly visit, the latter of whom one day brought someone to introduce herself along with her.
"Undertaker, we have a new recruit."
"Hmm? We haven't lost anyone recently, so no need for replacements."
"No, it's not a replacement. It's an actual recruit. They committed a serious crime and specifically requested to join this unit."
The circumstances of it all left me somewhat out of touch with the 160 survivors of the Misfortune Workshop.
"This is Ji-soo... You two aren't strangers, right? I'd love to chat longer, but I'm swamped with work. Next time, let's meet closer to Busan."
"Sure... Take care."
"You too."
After Seo-rin left, an unsettling silence settled over the open space of the barracks.
Ji-soo looked at me. Malnourished and shrunken from extreme stress, her small frame seemed fragile. Jet-black hair. Eyes a faint, hazy shade of dark green.
"Hello. My name is Ji-soo."
The moment she spoke, a chill ran down my spine. Her tone, pitch, and inflection—everything echoed Ji-won. The only outward difference was her more expressive face. Yet beyond her dark green eyes, rage seethed like molten lava. Her neutral voice and emotional expressions clashed unnervingly.
"When you rescued us from the workshop last time, we met. Do you remember?"
"I remember... Of course."
"Thank you so much for that. I want to express my gratitude again, Undertaker."
She bowed deeply then, her posture impeccable. Just like Ji-won.
"The investigator kept us updated about how we were rescued from the workshop."
"I see..."
"Even though you recommended her, you still revealed her crimes and took responsibility yourself. I think that's amazing... I truly respect you. I don't have a father, but may I call you my godfather?"
Ji-soo smiled awkwardly.
Frankly, it was hard to listen to, and not just because of my guilt. Her voice carried something else—something more sinister. Between words, between sentences, between paragraphs, it felt like molten wax dripping down, solidifying into the form of "hate".
Yes. The girl in front of me was merely imitating human speech. Every sentence was fundamentally just an echo of emotion.
"A new life..."
"Pardon?"
"Didn't you receive a new life? The National Road Management Corps took special care of you—housing, even a job."
"Ah, yes." Ji-soo gave me another awkward smile as she scratched her cheek. "The investigator really went above and beyond. But there was no proper way for me to meet Godmother Ji-won."
Justly so. There was no way the perpetrator would be allowed to approach the victim. The 703 Unit existed specifically to prevent such contact.
"So, I killed them."
"What?"
"I killed about seven people. Only then did they arrest me."
I didn't respond to that.
"I'm sorry to the victims, but I really needed to see Godmother. I couldn't think of another way."
At that moment, Ji-won emerged from the barracks, pulling back the tent flap.
"Your Excellency, the rice is ready. But we're running low on supplies... Oh?" Then, her gaze shifted to the newcomer. "Ji-soo?"
Ji-won's tone was casual, as if greeting an old friend.
"It really is you, Ji-soo. What brings you here?"
"Hello, Godmother. I've joined the 703 Punishment Unit."
"Is that so? Hmm, Do-hwa was always thorough. She wouldn't have approved your transfer easily." Ji-won tilted her head, holding the rice pot. "How many did you kill?"
"Seven."
"I see," she said. Her tone sounded almost regretful. "You could have chosen a more efficient method. Anger is like a blade. when swung recklessly, it becomes mere venting, not skillful precision. I've always emphasized the importance of self-discipline."
No answer.
"It's good that you hate the world. But ordinary people have no connection to your suffering. Ji-soo, you knew this, but you succumbed to your emotions. Please, discipline yourself."
Ji-soo's eyes narrowed. "You haven't changed at all, Godmother."
"Hmm? Of course not."
"Thank you."
Ji-won tilted her head again. "My principles come entirely from within me. I see no reason to be thanked."
"Because I was worried. What if, by some slim chance, you had changed? It would have been troubling. I'm glad my worries were unfounded."
Ji-won's shoulders flinched just slightly. "Hmm."
Still holding the rice pot in one hand, she touched her neck. Then she looked at me.
"Your Excellency, my neck was just slashed... More precisely, I felt the sensation of my neck being slashed. Ah, and my wrist was severed as well. I almost dropped the rice pot."
That was the day our unit gained a new member.
-x-X-x-
The Exile III
A new serial killer had joined the criminal squad under the command of the psychopath.
Even for a regressor like me, this was not an easy situation. After all, this rampage by Ji-won was something that had occurred for the first time here in the 703rd cycle. Who could have predicted something like this?
[Oppa, are you tired?]
Thankfully, the cute and cheeky kiddo Ha-yul was in our unit. That was a small consolation.
Ha-yul clung to my back like a snail, kneading my shoulders with her small hands. It wasn't much of a massage, but the action itself brought a sense of warmth to my heart.
"I am. On top of stomping out Anomalies, now there's this weighing on my mind. I'm at a loss as to what to do with Ji-soo."
[Let me know if it gets too much to handle,] Ha-yul whispered softly. [If needed, I can silence them without a trace.]
Correction.
While Ha-yul was my emotional sanctuary, she was like a roller coaster in an amusement park—unpredictable and wild. Her thought process was far from normal.
Meanwhile, Dok-seo was sprawled out on the other side of the barracks, groaning, "Haaah... So tired... It's so damn exhausting..."
Her life mantra seemed to revolve around three phrases: I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I'm dying. She was about as helpful to the team's morale as LDL cholesterol is to heart health. Omega-3 supplements were urgently needed.[1]
'Wait a second... Am I the only sane one here?'
Saintess, I miss you more than ever today.
Still, I set aside my mental exhaustion. I didn't want to block Ji-soo's transfer to our unit. No matter what anyone said, she was a victim whose life had been ruined by Ji-won's psychopathic antics. If she sought revenge, it was only right to support her wishes.
The next day, I called Ji-soo aside for a one-on-one conversation.
"Ji-soo, now that you're part of our unit, I hope you'll answer honestly. What brought you here?"
She didn't respond.
"You killed seven people, but that's a burden you'll have to bear. It's your problem to resolve moving forward."
I placed a coffee cup in front of Ji-soo. Unsure of her preferences, I made a warm café au lait, the most luxurious item available in our unit.
"As for me, I aim to take responsibility for what Ji-won did at the Misfortune Workshop. If you desire revenge, I'll cooperate to the best of my ability."
Ji-soo tilted her head. "Even if I were to ask you to die right now?"
"Yes."
For a long moment, her dark green eyes stared intently at my face. "You're serious, aren't you?"
Since her transfer to the unit, her gaze had always been fiery, but this was the first time it softened, even slightly. There was a subtle change in her tone as well.
"I don't intend to hold you accountable, Undertaker. If I started blaming you or the former leader for letting Ji-won run free, I'd eventually have to blame society and the entire world."
"Hmm."
"I'm not that immature."
Ji-soo lifted the coffee cup and took a sip. For a fleeting moment, her eyebrows raised. I didn't need Mind-Reading to guess. The silent impression of deliciouswas almost audible.
She blinked rapidly, her expression shifting. "My goal is Ji-won, the only one directly responsible. No one else."
"Do you want her dead?"
"No. Death is too swift. It's not a punishment I can decide alone." Through the steam rising from the coffee, her eyes gleamed ominously. "I want her to suffer."
I paused. "You must realize, having experienced it yourself, that Ji-won is a self-contained individual. Inflicting true pain upon her may be impossible."
"Perhaps," Ji-soo acknowledged. A faint smile tugged at her lips. "That's why I'm going to experiment."
Experiment.
"Undertaker, I have a request. Can you order Ji-won to obey me without resistance? If you do, I'll promise not to harbor any resentment toward you as a victim of the Misfortune Workshop."
It was a request I couldn't refuse.
Ji-soo adapted reasonably well to the 703 Unit. She didn't particularly mingle with Ha-yul or Dok-seo, but for a murderer, she displayed a surprising deft with social skills.
Even Ha-yul, who had an almost animalistic sense for people's personalities and character, said, [She doesn't seem like a bad person.]
Her abilities were even more impressive. Quick decision-making. Proficient use of Aura. Survival skills strong enough to escape from the Void alone. She lacked some real-world combat experience, but that gap was quickly filled due to Unit 703's unique environment.
All in all, she was a bright and capable individual.
Kieeek!
Ji-soo's Awakening ability, known as Phantom Torture, was often effective even against Anomalies. Given their tendency to struggle with distinguishing reality from illusion, when Ji-soo inflicted the sensation of decapitation, the Anomalies genuinely reacted as though their heads had been severed. Though this ability only worked on village-level Anomalies and below, it was still incredibly useful.
In fact, against these low-tier creatures, Ji-soo exhibited near-absolute dominance. Without lifting a finger, she could wield her Phantom Torture to eliminate dozens, even hundreds, of low-tier Anomalies.
"It's all thanks to my excellent teaching," Ji-won suddenly interjected with self-praise. "I referenced the academy system Your Excellency established in past cycles. While I might sound boastful, all Awakeners from the Misfortune Workshop are capable of performing at least as well as a member of the National Road Management Corps's operations team."
Everyone fell silent.
This would have been the perfect time to quip, "It's not boasting but smearing yourself with gold," or to point out, "It wasn't education, it was torture." But no one dared to criticize Ji-won's audacity. Even Ji-soo, the victim, merely smiled faintly and refrained from reacting.
There was a reason for this eerie atmosphere.
"Godmother."
"Yes, Ji-soo."
"Please follow me."
On days when the 703 Unit had no assigned operations, Ji-soo and Ji-won often disappeared together. Their destinations varied—sometimes a nearby forest, other times the basement of an abandoned building in a small town. After roughly six hours, the two would return to the unit, visibly drained.
When questioned about their activities one day, Ji-won firmly replied, "I can't disclose that."
"Why?"
"Because Ji-soo forbade me from speaking about it. Furthermore, Your Excellency ordered me to obey Ji-soo's instructions."
"You're not doing anything strange, are you?"
"Hmm." Ji-won stroked her chin thoughtfully. "If by 'strange,' you mean unusual, then yes. But I would describe it as meaningless."
"Just to clarify, Ji-won... Don't cause further harm to Ji-soo or any other victims in any way."
"Oh, rest assured," Ji-won said confidently. "What you fear will never happen. In fact, it's quite the opposite."
The opposite?
"Oh dear, I've said too much. Of course, if Your Excellency rescinds the order, I'm ready to confess everything."
This routine continued day after day.
One weekend evening, while the rest of the unit enjoyed a rare break, Ji-won and Ji-soo left the barracks again.
'I need to find out what's going on.'
I decided to secretly follow them.
In the pine forest near the barracks, the air was unexpectedly chilly, like autumn rather than summer. The trees' bark seemed to peel under the cold wind, exposing raw flesh.
I followed their tracks deeper into the woods, my footsteps silent on the fallen leaves. Through the dense foliage, faint voices reached my ears.
I crept closer, hiding behind the bushes and straining to listen.
"Not there," Ji-soo's voice instructed. "The tree next to it. Yes, that one. Stand there."
"You know I don't struggle much. There's no need to tie me up. The task could be done in midair just as easily."
"I don't like that, Godmother. After all, we were all bound or imprisoned when we endured your sessions."
"It's problematic to equate our strengths of will. My endurance surpasses the average human threshold."
Peering through the branches, I finally saw them.
Ji-won was tied to a tree.
The scene was beyond what I expected. Ji-won was not merely tied up—the ropes were meticulously arranged to immobilize her entirely, from her ankles to her neck.
Ji-soo inspected the bindings before stepping back to face Ji-won.
"Yes, you're right, Godmother. We were weak, and we didn't appreciate the grace given to us. But not anymore." She clapped her hands and declared, "Today, let's recreate the session you inflicted on Ye-ji. Do you remember her?"
"Hmm... Was she the telekinetic one?"
"That was Ye-seul."
"Ah, close enough."
"Ye-ji was the one whose flesh was constantly flayed as if being prepared for sashimi. Eventually, even on days without a session, she clawed at her skin, saying it was too thick and needed to be thinner."
"Oh, I remember now. She Awakened a high-level resilience ability. Unfortunately, it wasn't much different from Aura training... What a waste. If I had administered poisons instead, she might have Awakened a perfect resistance to toxins—"
Ji-won's sentence was cut off by a scream.
It was a sound unlike anything I had ever heard from her. Even when her limbs were broken, she had only groaned. But this... This was a cry of pure agony.
It was to be expected. No human could endure the sensation of their flesh being methodically shredded.
Ji-soo was replicating the tortures Ji-won had once inflicted at the Misfortune Workshop, reversing the roles of victim and perpetrator.
Even when Ji-won fainted, Ji-soo used her Aura to forcefully Awaken her.
For five hours, the forest was filled with Ji-won's screams and Ji-soo's shouts. It was not an interrogation, nor was it a means to any end. It was the manifestation of rage compressed over countless looping days, finally erupting.
When it was over, Ji-soo's shoulders rose and fell heavily. Despite her talent and abilities, she was visibly drained after maintaining Phantom Torture for hours.
Ji-won, on the other hand, looked utterly wrecked. Her pristine appearance was gone, replaced by a hollow, trembling figure slumped against the tree.
After a long silence, Ji-won spoke in a hoarse voice. Despite everything, her tone was eerily calm.
"Ji-soo... I told you..."
There was no hatred, anger, or resentment in her voice. Instead, it was devoid of emotion.
"This is all meaningless... You can't hurt me."
Ji-soo bit her lip so hard it bled. It was the first real blood spilled that night.
Footnotes:
[1] LDL cholesterol is commonly known as "bad" cholesterol since having too much of it is associated with plaque buildup in the heart. Taking omega-3 supplements in moderation can help reduce this risk.
-x-X-x-
The Exile IV
Ji-soo lowered her head.
It wasn't a gesture of surrender or acceptance, like so often seen in political dramas. No, here in the real, it was the most basic form of rejecting said world. If looking someone directly in the eye symbolized a fundamental proof of power, then averting one's gaze symbolized the exact opposite.
"Ji-soo, do you remember?"
The interesting thing was that Ji-won was also lowering her head, drained of strength after enduring relentless torture.
The silver-haired matron and the black-haired maiden.
Both had lowered their chins, yet the meaning carried in the gesture differed drastically between them. For Ji-won, it was because she didn't feel the need to "look at" her opponent. For Ji-soo, it was because the "meaning of looking" at her opponent had been stripped away.
Two forms of meaninglessness stirred and clawed at the air as Ji-won's soft voice spilled forth.
"The story I told you a few days after I adopted you. The one about the massacring emperor... If you've forgotten, I'll tell it again. Once upon a time, there was an emperor whose power was so immense it was almost impossible to surpass. This emperor burned down a poor mountain village."
The village was obliterated. Did this massacre hold any meaning?
The ministers and soldiers were curious, but the emperor forbade any questions. Thus, he committed the massacre. Only after killing every man, woman, and child in the village did the emperor address his ministers.
"What do you think I have just done?" asked the king. One of the ministers, trembling with fear, answered.
"Your Majesty, you are the supreme ruler of all things, holding the power of life and death. Those villagers dared to defy your will, so they are traitors. You exercised your power over those insignificant beings."
Of course, the village had done nothing wrong. They had worked, paid taxes, and fulfilled their military service—sometimes diligently, sometimes indolently. If this village were a hotbed of rebellion, then one could conclude the entire empire was consumed by treason.
Yet the minister praised the emperor's righteousness. He flattered the ruler in order to survive.
"Power is when even evil deeds are praised."
The minister's desperate sycophancy, however, did not seem to satisfy the tyrant.
The emperor turned his head. "I ask you, Chief Chamberlain. What do you think I have done?"
The chief chamberlain answered without hesitation.
"This humble servant dares not judge Your Majesty's actions."
It was impossible to know if this village was rebellious.
Knowing was unnecessary. It was not permitted.
Unlike the ministers who had to attribute meaning to the emperor's every move to assist in governing the empire, the chamberlain refrained from judgment entirely. He was consistent in his meaninglessness and had mastered the art of self-preservation.
"Power is when even the basic human ability to judge is stripped away."
The chamberlain demonstrated why he was the closest to the tyrant.
But what happened next? If such an event truly occurred, it would have become a legendary tale. Something miraculous happened instead.
In the ruins of the burned village, a single survivor was found.
The survivor was barely over ten years old, their gender indiscernible. Severe burns disfigured their face.
The soldiers brought the lone survivor before the emperor, who, just as he had interrogated the minister and the chamberlain, asked the child for an answer as a form of amusement.
"What do you think I have just done?"
Through a hoarse throat burned by fire, the child answered.
"You burned our village and killed its people without any reason."
The room fell silent.
The minister swallowed nervously, the soldiers' hearts froze, and an eerie sound resonated in the stillness.
The emperor was laughing.
He bent down to the child's eye level and spoke.
"Indeed."
The emperor appointed the surviving child as his new chamberlain.
It was said that the "burn-scarred chamberlain" served the tyrant until they became an old man, staying by his side throughout the emperor's long life.
"That's the story. Do you remember now?"
In the forest darkened by twilight, night's air arrived at the pine bark a step earlier than the sky. Ji-won gulped it down in deep breaths.
"Ji-soo, I asked you the same thing back then. Why did the emperor reject the minister's and chamberlain's answers but accept the child's?"
No response.
"I can still remember clearly. You answered, 'The emperor wanted to show that he could disregard the minister's and chamberlain's responses at will and choose a lowly child in their place, right in front of everyone.'"
A moment of silence.
That expressionless stillness was Ji-won's smile.
"That's correct. You remember well."
The silver-haired psychopath spoke like a teacher praising a student for completing their homework.
"It was a good answer. A memorable wrong answer. If this were a subjective question, you'd score 60 points... A full 60 out of 100. While others hesitated or clung to outdated, canned phrases, you earnestly empathized with the situation and thought it through. You've always been diligent," she complimented warmly.
Ji-won finally raised her head.
"I'll ask again. After five years? Let's say it's a six-year review. Ji-soo, why do you think the emperor was satisfied with the child's answer?"
Ji-soo stayed silent.
Listening from beyond the bushes, I instinctively knew the correct answer Ji-won had in mind. After all, she and I had been bound since the fifth cycle. I understood her way of thinking all too well.
However, whether Ji-soo, someone I only met for the first time in the 703rd cycle, could reach that answer was uncertain.
Ji-soo's red lips parted.
"Because he was fine."
A murmur.
"Hmm?" came the prompting hum.
"Even after doing such things—arson, massacres—he was fine."
Ji-soo lifted her head.
"There was no need for him to justify his actions. Only those who need recognition from others seek justification. There was no need for him to avert his gaze from his deeds. Only those afraid of consequences try to erase what's been done."
"Hmm."
"True power isn't like that. Even after committing atrocities, being exposed for them, admitting they were meaningless massacres, revealing everything without concealment, and still facing no consequences for the emperor—that's when his power becomes absolute. That's why he spared the child, made them the chamberlain, even though the child burned with vengeance every day, cursing the tyrant. The survival and testimony of that child, their uselessness and irrelevance, proved the emperor's power."
"Correct," Ji-won said. "90 out of 100 points. Well done, Ji-soo. As expected, people grow with time."
A dagger struck the pine tree with a thunk, grazing Ji-won's lips as if to silence her. A trail of blood trickled down her chin.
"Someone like you."
Ji-soo's dark green eyes burned vividly even in the dusky forest.
"You don't get hurt. You could simply live satisfied with that, but you don't. You crave someone else, anyone else, to prove that 'I don't get hurt' because you think it's proof of your strength!"
Monster.
Ji-soo's teeth ground out the word.
"You're a parasite... The Anomalies parasitize human emotions and intellect to survive. They exploit us. How are you any different? Why do you exist? Why are you alive?"
Steam seeped from Ji-soo's mouth, the heat forged in her heart.
"At the very least, feel pain. Why are you unfazed? You lost an arm. Your neck was cut. Your flesh was torn. If you're human, it should hurt!"
"I do feel pain. I lost consciousness sixteen times during today's torture."
"That's not what I mean!" the girl screamed. "It's different. You... You..."
A few ragged breaths.
"You're not human... You're an Anomaly. No, you're worse than a monster. Ji-won, I will hate you forever."
The forest held its breath.
Somehow, night split open, spilling starlight, and Ji-won extended her arm. The ropes binding her unraveled as if they had only ever been for show.
She had used her Aura.
"Perfect score." Ji-won grasped Ji-soo's shoulders. "That's exactly it, Ji-soo... You are the survivor of the village. You are my chamberlain. That's precisely why I raised you carefully and kept you by my side."
"Ah."
Ji-soo's mouth fell open. She was in despair.
In contrast, Ji-won, gripping both of Ji-soo's arms firmly, was exulting within her stoic expression.
"Torturing me is meaningless. But even meaninglessness has meaning. Think about it. Humans endure arduous lives to prove that something is meaningless.
"Only those who amass extreme wealth can declare, 'Money holds no meaning in life.' Only those who devote everything to academia can assert, 'Knowledge holds no meaning in life.' Ji-soo, I need you. Someone like you.
"You seem tired today, so go back and rest. From tomorrow, the days of missions will resume. Intense training. Flexible operations. Proper nutrition and rest. All of these must come together for a healthy lifestyle."
Ji-won stroked Ji-soo's hair, brushing it behind her ear. Ji-soo stared blankly, not even flinching at the touch.
"I genuinely think of you as a daughter in my heart."
Silence.
"I'll leave first. The wind is getting cold, so return quickly."
Then, the sound of leaves crunched underfoot faded away.
Ji-soo was left alone.
Well, counting me hiding in the bushes, there were two of us.
At that moment, I was pondering.
My first concern was, of course, the weight of my life. It wasn't a decision made lightly when I decided to involve myself with Ji-won but one made after careful, deep contemplation. Nevertheless, taking responsibility for the mistakes of the 703rd cycle wasn't easy.
My second concern was—
"What do you plan to do with that rope?"
"Huh?" Ji-soo looked at me with a glare. "Were you watching?"
"Yes."
"Everything?"
"Yes, everything."
"Coward."
That stung.
Listening to the dying words of someone so much younger than me never ceased to be unsettling. For a mere hedgehog's quill, the winter this girl endured was far too cruel.
"Don't kill yourself."
Ji-soo flinched, stiffening awkwardly. Just before the dark swamp could belch out its sticky bubbles, I spoke first.
"If you die by your own hand, Ji-won will certainly be hurt. She'll grieve. For a day. Two days. Perhaps a week or two."
"If that's the case—"
"And then she'll overcome it... You already know what kind of person Ji-won is."
Silence.
"I respect your choice. But reconsider gifting Ji-won with even the opportunity to 'heal from life's wounds.'" When she didn't answer, I added, "You can decide afterward. It won't be too late."
At that moment, Ji-soo's hardened expression crumbled.
-x-X-x-
The Exile V
"Wh-why...?"
Ji-soo collapsed to the ground, her soul breaking to the sound of autumn leaves crunching beneath her knees.
"Why? Why does such a person exist? Why is something like that even human? Why...?"
No tears flowed from her dark green eyes, yet Ji-soo was undoubtedly crying. It was just that her physical body couldn't keep up with the sorrow in her heart.
It hadn't always been this way. Once upon a time, she must have known how to shed tears to cry. Over time, however, she had grown accustomed to a life without them. And for someone who had become so familiar with crying without tears, finding another way to grieve was unfathomable.
"Why?"
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
However little a body might understand of expression, the body was nevertheless the medium through which human beings lived. Wrapping my Aura around her like a scarf, I patted Ji-soo's back, doing my best to ward off the chill of the autumn night.
It was all I could do.
When had slipped us both by, Ji-soo stared blankly at the night sky. The half-moon seemed sated. As though it had feasted on many tears of sorrow, it appeared to possess a bite so cutting that it could inadvertently slash under one's wristwatch.
"It was the opposite," she murmured. "The story Godmother told me about the emperor... It was actually the opposite. An Anomaly wreaked havoc in our village, killing everyone."
Once, Kim Ji-soo had been a part of a group of orphans who banded together after losing their parents. It was a survival strategy born of necessity. After all, there was no room in the world for orphaned children who lacked the labor capacity to make them useful.
People in similar circumstances, of similar ages, formed their own little pack, working together to survive. They elected leaders, divided roles, endured hunger together, and hunted together.
A primitive form of community.
Like so many other groups, they eventually faced annihilation.
"Everyone but me died... Then, Godmother Yu appeared."
The Anomaly had swept through the Forsaken Village, leaving it destined to fade into obscurity without a name. However, Yu Ji-won had saved it—or rather, she had saved only Ji-soo.
More precisely, she had barely managed to save just Ji-soo.
"You're lucky."
In the middle of the charred remains, Ji-won picked up Ji-soo. Her blue eyes gazed silently at the soot-stained child.
"And you have good eyes... What's your name?"
"...Ji-soo."
"What a common name... Ji-soo, do you hate the Anomaly?"
Ji-soo replied that she did.
"Would you dedicate your entire life to it, dig to the bottom of your soul if necessary, just to exact revenge on it?"
Ji-soo once again said yes.
Her family had just been wiped out. Although they quarreled often, they had lived together like siblings. Now they were gone, killed by the Anomaly.
She had lost her parents, her home, and the last shelter her friends had cobbled together in the aftermath.
A fire that could not be extinguished began to burn within Ji-soo's heart.
"Can you swear it?"
In hindsight, perhaps she had answered too hastily. She didn't fully understand what it meant to dedicate her "entire life." Nor could she comprehend the process of "digging to the bottom of her soul." She hadn't known how much more pain she would endure.
"Excellent."
Manipulating humans into achieving their known goals while forcing them to pay unknown costs—such was the essence of a demon's tactics.
"Now, Ji-soo. First, offer me your name."
"My name...?"
"I am gathering people like you. If you follow me, you can become an Awakener. A new life awaits you... Think of it as a ritual to separate yourself from your old self."
In a world tainted by the Void Poison, names held a significant, mystical power. But as someone whose only home lay in a slain band of orphans and strays, Ji-soo could not have known that.
"As Confucius said, all matters of life begin with calling things by their proper name. The same applies to Awakeners. I will give you a new name."[1]
"Okay... I'll offer my name."
"Good. Hmm."
Ji-won rested her chin on her hand.
"Let's see. People often describe hatred as 'burning,' but that's a misnomer. If hatred were combustible, it would diminish as it burned. Instead, it grows."
Her whisper was soft.
"Hatred pools, drawing in nutrients and water from its surroundings, swelling its volume on its own... The pond's 'ji.' The marsh's 'soo.'"
She stroked Ji-soo's hair in a gentle stroke.
"Ji-soo. You are a pond nestled in the most secluded corners of the world, a marsh where hatred gathers... You don't understand, do you? That's fine. You will soon."
The flashback ended.
Under the moonlight that filtered through the pine forest, Ji-soo murmured into my shoulder.
"Now that I think about it, it was strange."
"What was?"
"Everyone adopted into the Misfortune Workshop was like me—the sole survivor of a Forsaken Village or someone miraculously spared during an Anomaly attack."
"Hmm."
"At first, I didn't doubt the godmother. In fact, I admired her for saving so many unfortunate people like me."
But...
"At some point, as Godmother Yu's actions in the Misfortune Workshop became increasingly blatant, I began to have doubts, like bubbles rising to the surface of a marsh. Could it be that the godmother intentionally allowed the Anomalies to strike, intervening only at the last moment when a single survivor remained?"
For a breath, there was only the question, then I admitted it.
"It's plausible."
Ji-won had specifically targeted children without ties, abducting them to the Underwater Tunnel.
"The group you belonged to, Ji-soo, were wanderers. They couldn't enter established strongholds like Busan or Sejong. Wandering groups like yours were often indistinguishable from bandits."
Citizens with connections couldn't easily flee from their crimes, not when their families or acquaintances would be held accountable. In contrast, the unattached could commit crimes more freely.
"Untrustworthy thieves."
That was the general perception of wandering groups, tinged with both justified and unjustified discrimination. This made them easy to ostracize. In Korea, the only place that openly accepted such wanderers was Daejeon.
"Your assumption is probably correct... Ji-won was the sharpest blade of the National Road Management Corps. She had no reason to go out of her way to save wandering groups who presented no labor value and who could disrupt order. Normally, she would have ignored them."
I closed my eyes briefly and sighed.
"But for some reason, Ji-won changed. Perhaps she thought, 'If I intervene, I can give meaning even to these wanderers who were annihilated by Anomalies.'"
"'Meaning.'"
"Yes. By sparing only one promising individual from the group and allowing the rest to perish, she might have believed she was giving purpose to the lives lost."
Recycling waste.
Perhaps that's what it meant to Ji-won.
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing, Undertaker?"
"Ji-won wasn't always so diligent. She used to be satisfied with fulfilling her assigned duties and currying favor with me. I'm the one who instilled her with motivation and ambition... I'm sorry, Ji-soo."
A heavy silence fell over us.
In the next cycle, the 704th, I uncovered the truth.
Ji-soo had been destined to die during the Anomaly attack. Even the Saintess's Clairvoyance couldn't reach her wandering group for the mere fact that they lacked an Awakener.
The survival rate of wanderer groups was always low. Unlike fortified cities imbued with countless spells for protection, Anomalies could invade the Forsaken Village at any time.
Ji-soo died, and she would continue to die in every cycle but the 703rd. The only reason she ever survived was because Ji-won acted out of character, going beyond merely tracking the caravan route.
"I truly am sorry."
The child before me's story was a cruel one.
For the first time in hundreds of cycles, Ji-soo was pulled from the jaws of death by her savior, Ji-won. Yet the salvation waiting for her was the depths of a hell she had never known.
Savior and tormentor.
Godmother and nemesis.
"However, if you still desire revenge, if you wish to harm Ji-won, I might be able to help."
And for the first time, Ji-soo lifted her head from my shoulder to stare at me.
"You'd help me, Undertaker?"
"Yes. But heed my words carefully. Don't let your guard down, as you did when you first met Ji-won."
Ji-soo looked into my eyes, then flinched at what she saw there, her shoulders tensing under my gaze. This must have been the first time she met my eyes so directly.
"I am a regressor... When this life ends, another awaits me. Ji-won has long been my lieutenant, and she will remain so in the next life."
Her expression cracked, revealing a shocked comprehension. The mysteries she had long pondered—why someone like Ji-won had treated her life with so little regard—finally unraveled.
"Ji-soo, I can grant you the right to determine your next life."
"Ah..."
"I can ensure you and your friends find refuge in Busan, where you'll live comfortably. Whether that makes you happy is up to you, but at least you'll be at ease...
"Do you want the means to fight Anomalies? I can assign your reincarnation project to a Baku, guiding your Awakening through dreams without the need for torture. Or if you want, I can share with your future self the events of this cycle. Though you might struggle to grasp the reality, you'd still gain insight into one of the world's greatest secrets...
"I'm not forcing you to choose just one wish. Everything I've mentioned, and anything else you desire—if it's within my reach, I'll make it happen."
Comfort. Strength. Knowledge.
A regressor wasn't an omnipotent god but was capable of taking responsibility for a single life—albeit one suspended by the temporary reprieve of an apocalyptic world.
"Child who has lost her name... Your scars and hatred are not meaningless. You've come this far chasing Ji-won. You earned this moment."
"Ah."
"Take your time to think. Ponder and deliberate, then tell me what you desire."
I patted Ji-soo's head, adding my warmth to the spot where Ji-won's fingerprints lingered.
"I'll be waiting."
From that day onward, Ji-soo's "torture theater" came to an abrupt halt.
"Hmm."
Even on idle holidays without assignments, she no longer dragged Ji-won into secluded alleys.
Ji-won found this peculiar.
"Lately, Ji-soo seems to have her head in the clouds. She often stares blankly at the sky."
"Well, she must have a lot on her mind."
"Did you pull some strings, Your Excellency?" she asked sharply.
"Yes. I did." When only her gnawing silence bit back at me, I asked, "And what of it? What will you do about it?"
"My apologies..."
Her sharpness held no sway over me.
Two months passed this way.
One dawn, as I enjoyed a café au lait outside my tent under the early morning sky, I heard a faint rustling of dewy grass, then Ji-soo appeared.
"Undertaker."
The blank expression she'd worn for two months had been replaced by resolve. I nodded.
"Good morning. Have you collected your thoughts?"
"Yes."
"You're quite thorough. Pondering for two months without respite isn't easy, even for a monk presented with a koan..."[2]
Ji-soo hesitated.
"Go on. Speak."
Her lips moved wordlessly several times before she finally managed to squeeze out her words. "Thank you for granting someone like me a wish. But I... I don't think I should wish for happiness."
"Why not?"
"Because I've killed people too..."
The words were croaked, as if her voice had come not from the throat but more spilled from the wounds of her heart.
"For revenge. To bring pain to Godmother Yu, I've killed seven people who had nothing to do with me. Even though I chose criminals as my targets... Godmother isn't any different. She's the same as me."
So, she had thought this far.
My gaze softened. "Continue."
"Yes... But I can't forget the godmother. I don't want to forget what she's done." Her fist tightened by her side, then she called for me. "Undertaker."
"Yes."
"You said Godmother Yu is your lieutenant. Is that because she's exceptionally competent?"
"That's part of it," I said with a nod. "She's resourceful. She always delivers results. She doesn't hesitate in battles against Anomalies. And, to be honest, she also once wished upon me, just as you are now. That's why she's always by my side."
Ji-soo took a deep breath.
"Can I... take Godmother Yu's place?"
I blinked. It was an unexpected request, even for me. "What?"
"Being by your side... That seems to be the most important thing to Godmother Yu. So I want to take away what matters most to her."
Her dark green eyes stared straight into mine.
"Please help me replace Godmother Yu."
Footnotes:
[1] Confucius in his Analects argues calling someone by the improper name and failing to acknowledge what duty is associated with one's proper title leads to social disorder and the inability to deal with life's problems as they come.
[2] A koan is a riddle in the form of a story or question presented to monks of Zen Buddhism and designed to allow its practitioner to see their own nature at heart.
-x-X-x-
The Exile VI
There is an age-old question.
Q: What does it feel like to accompany a regressor?
I had shared a timeline with Old Man Scho in my younger years, of course—though honestly, from my perspective, anything around the 20th cycle is akin to infancy—but that didn't get at the heart of what I really wanted to ask.
Q: What does it feel like for a non-regressor to accompany a regressor?
"Hmm. It feels absolutely shitty..."
A1: Do-hwa's answer sheet.
"You only get one life to live. Or at least, we're only conscious of the one life we currently have. On that premise and that foundation, we sculpt our existence. A regressor is simultaneously a bottomless pit of hell and a lone cloud in the heavens. It's unfair..."
"Um, I don't really have negative feelings about it."
A2: Yo-hwa's answer sheet.
"Actually, I enjoy it! Why? Because as we live, we go through mistakes and misfortunes, right? Like suddenly getting hit by a car while crossing the street or being ambushed by an unforeseen Anomaly. Losing someone dear to you—that's a super sorrowful experience, isn't it? But with you, Teacher, I don't have to say goodbye, hehehe! I think it's a blessing, not only for you but also for me!"
"Huh? It's totally fun."
A3: Dok-seo's answer sheet.
"The world has a protagonist, and I happen to be by their side? Tu-du-dum-dum-dum. I've been waiting for an Awakener like you for a long time..."
"Regression doesn't matter."
A4: The Saintess's answer sheet.
"No, abilities never matter. What matters is the person, who the regressor is. What kind of person became the regressor. The fact that I'm accompanying a regressor doesn't hold much significance to me. What matters is simply that I'm with someone like you, Mr. Undertaker."
"Uh..."
A5: Ah-ryeon's answer sheet.
"Guild Leader, my SG Net password... You didn't, um, learn it from a previous cycle or something, did you?"
Since she had at least 17 passwords, I didn't bother reacting.
Don't you have all your IDs and passwords written on a note stuffed in your inner pocket? Pass.
[Answer declined.]
A6: Ha-yul's answer sheet.
[It's an old habit of yours to try and read others' minds this way, oppa. Everyone thinks they won't fall for such cheap tricks, but I know secrets are only beautiful when they remain secrets.]
Hanging out with Dok-seo daily must have rubbed off some of that teenage edginess. Pass.
As for Ji-won's answer sheet, there was no need to even look. I could already predict what she'd say. Something along the lines of "the glory of three lifetimes," "loyalty," "my light," embellished with a four-verse ode to the regressor's magnificence.
Now was the time to bring Ji-soo, the girl Ji-won considered her daughter, into the regressor's timeline.
I had to ask this wounded marsh a question.
Q: What exactly does your wish to replace Yu Ji-won mean?
"I want to become as capable as Godmother Yu."
That was Ji-soo's answer.
"No, more specifically—I will become as capable as the godmother. If she was valued for her fluency in Latin, then I'll learn Latin to replace her. Aura, administrative skills, everything. And someday, I'll take away everything the godmother holds dear—even her position as your lieutenant."
Because Ji-soo knew: that's the only way to wound someone like Ji-won.
Q: Think it over. From the perspective of your next self, this means having your life's direction suddenly decided by a previous cycle's version of you. Will your future self accept this?
"If my next self doesn't accept it, then that's the end. It would mean my grudge, my pain, and my wounds, this blazing heart, were only worth a single lifetime's existence.
Thus, she concluded that if her next self ignores her wishes, then I would not need to care about her anymore.
Suddenly, a memory resurfaced.
A long time ago, someone who learned I was a regressor approached me. She was a beautiful woman with silver hair. Upon discovering that a regressor existed in a doomed world, she began enjoying life as if she had already given up.
Are you satisfied now?I would ask. Are you happy?
Each time, the silver-haired woman would answer like this:
"Hmm."
"In the next cycle, won't I be a little happier?"
"I think I'll be a bit happier next time."
It seemed absurd.
She entrusted her happiness and the meaning of her life to her future self.
Hundreds of cycles passed, and now, the so-called foster daughter she claimed to have birthed in her heart was standing in front of me and giving a remarkably similar answer.
"I will entrust my resolve, my decisions, my pain, and my happiness to my next self."
I nodded.
So be it.
"Thank you, Undertaker. Truly."
A week later, at dawn, Ji-soo took her own life.
Thus began the 704th cycle.
At Busan Station's tutorial dungeon, I bought a can of Ceylon tea from a vending machine, as usual. Then I headed to a cafe decorated with Old Man Scho's corpse and drank a café au lait.
'Good.'
I cleared my mind.
The act of drinking has long been one of humanity's most fundamental rituals, and I was no exception. I relied on this ritual.
Factory-made drinks symbolized the abundance of a fallen civilization, while handcrafted coffee reflected the regressor's fate. With these two disinfectants, I cleansed the soot of my heart left by the previous cycle.
'Let's begin again.'
Reuniting with Dok-seo and Ah-ryeon. Recruiting the Saintess. Meeting Seo-rin. Enlisting Do-hwa. Farming with my sword Do-hwa. Rescuing Yo-hwa. Adopting Ha-yul.
These were predetermined steps—an optimized route. The most efficient event triggers.
'I won't meet Ji-won just yet.'
However, the 704th cycle brought with it a deviation.
Normally, this would be the point where I picked up Ji-won, who acted as the gatekeeper at a convenience store, but I decided to delay that encounter.
There was someone else I needed to meet first.
I arrived at the location hinted at by my regression knowledge and promises.
The moment I stepped in, the faint sound of a girl screaming filled the air.
"Aaaaah!"
It was a student in a gray uniform. She was screaming as a zombie—one of the weakest of the Anomalies known as the Hollow—chased her. It was a low-level monster that seasoned Awakeners could handle without effort, but in these early days of the apocalypse, it was a nightmare to face.
The zombie had a teacher's shoulder in its jaws. The teacher screamed in agony.
"R-run! Kids, r-run! I'll— I'll hold it off!"
"Teacher!"
"Run!"
A truly noble teacher.
Some students scattered, their faces pale with terror. Five remained, among them one conspicuously resolute girl.
Kim Ji-soo.
"I'll strike first, sunbae."
While the others appeared ready to flee, Ji-soo held them back.
"I'll draw its attention. Use that chance to save the teacher."
"U-uh, o-okay."
Armed with a golf club she had somehow acquired, Ji-soo charged the zombie head-on. Not sneaking, but openly and boldly, she swung at the back of its head.
I let out a small laugh. "Heh. No wonder she caught Ji-won's eye."
While not exactly brave, she was audacious.
- Urgh?
The zombie turned, revealing a face 70% decomposed and crawling with maggots. Even without eyes, its nostrils flared grotesquely.
Ji-soo showed no hesitation.
"Idiot."
Wham!
The golf club connected, caving in part of the zombie's skull. But instead of collapsing, it lunged at her.
"Now, sunbae! Go!"
"Ah, y-yes! Teacher! Are you okay?"
While the students rescued the teacher, Ji-soo lured the zombie away, her movements intelligent despite her lack of speed. She led it through a barricade of debris, slowing it down.
'Impressive.'
For a normal person without power or knowledge, her tactics were exceptional.
'But she lacks experience.'
Ji-soo's efforts ultimately doomed her group. The teacher turned into a zombie far too quickly, and her surviving classmates, courageous enough to stay and help, were killed.
It was a textbook bad ending.
Ji-soo's determination to repay the teacher's kindness by saving her ultimately led to disaster. She tried to rescue her classmates, even berating them for attempting to flee.
The result? Damnation.
Her struggles were a quagmire. The harder she fought, the deeper she sank. Yet, it was this very trait that made her catch Ji-won's eye.
I stepped forward.
Three strides brought me before the transformed teacher. One clean slice split the zombie in two.
"Huh?"
The students stared in shock as I appeared and dispatched the Anomaly.
"I'm an agent from a secret government organization."
"H-huh?"
"I belong to the National Intelligence Service's Disaster Division—a civil servant of the governmental state. I recommend evacuating toward Busan immediately."
Relieved to hear buzzwords like "government" and "state," the students nodded. Twenty minutes later, a sweat-drenched Ji-soo returned.
Her gray coat was missing, likely thrown away to distract the zombie with her scent.
'Smart.'
Though visibly exhausted, she had outmaneuvered the Anomaly using only her wits and endurance.
"Ji-soo."
When she saw me, she froze. Her eyes locked on the divided corpse of her teacher. As her classmates tried to explain, she silently walked over to me and bowed deeply.
"You saved them. Thank you."
The voice carried no hint of Ji-won's cold, emotionless tone. Instead, the voice that called to me was her own.
"My name is Kim Ji-soo."