The Receiver III
It was truly a beautiful day.
The birds were chirping, and the flowers were blooming.
On a day like this—
"…Xu Shu[1] said to Liu Bei, 'There is a man called Zhuge Kongming[2], truly a Crouching Dragon. General, you really ought to visit him.' And Liu Bei replied, 'Then you bring him here….'"
A brat styling herself Lü Bu really ought to be rattling off Pei Songzhi's[3] unabridged, fully annotated Records of the Three Kingdoms by heart.
"Hup!"
Streeetch—
She flung both arms high and gave a huge stretch; the crisp air felt as though it seeped right down to every muscle cell.
Where, exactly, was this freshness coming from?
Without doubt, from listening to a masterpiece of the century in Saintess-nim's ASMR voice.
"Go Yuri, our destination still isn't in sight?"
"No, Guild Lead— I mean, Captain! There's nothing but sea on every side."
"Hmm. We set the course exactly this way, so why is our progress so meagre?"
"Ahaha, sorry, Captain. I think you'll have to push the engine a little harder."
Just now we were travelling by boat.
Calling it a "boat," though, was generous, it was really only a dinghy.
The materials were a single palm tree, the lone bit of vegetation listed on the desert island, and the scrap metal the tide had coughed up.
I threw the dinghy together, painted it scarlet, and, as humanity's last invention, christened it "Red Hare."[4]
So we set out across the boundless ocean astride Red Hare.
Crossing the sea of a ruined world in a single craft, surely a fatal dose of romance.
"Good. Engine! Give us still more speed!"
"Eek!"
My part aboard was Captain.
Go Yuri, as navigator, was in charge of tracking the other Constellations' positions.
[The Monarch of the Crimson Horse sheds tears.]
For reference, Lü Bu was back there rowing like a fiend, serving as both ASMR and engine.
Thanks to her, Red Hare boasted tremendous speed. Never had Koei's Romance of the Three Kingdoms naval stat of "C" for Lü Bu looked more mistaken.
"By the way, Yuri—"
"Yes?"
"If we skip killing the Constellations this run and just move on to the next cycle, what happens?"
"Mm. It would make conquering Hecate feel pointless. We went to the trouble of sinking an Outer God, only to leave the fragments that took her influence untouched."
"A leftover-embers job, eh?"
"Ah. Nice metaphor."
Embryos of flame left alone soon grow as big as the original inferno.
"And… mm. This is only my guess, but if we're careless the Constellations might really come to exist."
"The Constellations come to exist for real?"
"Until now they were just parts Miss Saintess acted. But if we let the next cycle start like this—tada! Look, star-sign monsters actually peering down at the world have appeared."
"Mm."
My brow furrowed.
"That would be bad."
"Yes, decidedly bad—"
In the past I might have answered, "Eh? Constellations just help Awakeners level, so isn't that a gain?"—but not now.
If the world's genre turns into "Constellation-fic," the side-effects follow inevitably:
Why Constellations help Awakeners, how Awakeners can fall and become Constellations, the premise of beings watching this world like a livestream, and so forth…
In other words, the very cosmology of the universe warps.
Exactly as Go Yuri had warned—ignore it and we'd just breed a fresh Outer-God-class monster.
"Not to mention—"
"…Guan Yu[5] and Zhang Fei[6] sulked—hic—some bookworm pops out of nowhere—hng! Acting familiar with the Lord…so Lord Liu Bei soothed them, saying gasping 'Gaining Kongming is fish finding water….'"
Mutter mutter mutter.
A glance back showed the Hulao Pass grasshopper panting as she rowed Red Hare.
Her eyes were starting to look like dead fish, turning more water-type than earth-type.
'I can't let such half-baked Constellations run the world.'
A little while later—
"Ah! Captain! I can finally see it!"
Go Yuri waved both arms.
Beyond the horizon lay a vessel so huge Red Hare looked like an ant.
An enormous cruise ship floated there.
Humanity of the 999th cycle was extinct. A healthy cruise ship was itself a ghost story.
There was no need to wonder long who captained it.
As we drew near, a familiar telepathic message arrived.
[The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace invites you.]
[Welcome to Earth's final paradise.]
A confession of ancient shame: once, I was deeply, hopelessly into Constellations.
Back before the 35th cycle.
Until then no Awakener worshipped them more ardently than I did… Old Man Scho watching me was aghast.
– Hey! Brat! I told you to stop hanging around those spirits or whatever and you're muttering to yourself again! That's addiction, do you hear? Addiction!
– Oh, come on, old man. You just don't realise there's really a Constellation watching over us. Ms. Saintess of National Salvation genuinely exists.
– Pah. Rubbish! If transcendents guarding humanity existed the world wouldn't have gone to hell!
Scho, in the end, was right.
After swallowing the red pill that Constellations were only humans, an unspoken pact arose between the Saintess and me.
1. Whatever the other Awakeners thought, in front of Undertaker she would never pretend to be a Constellation.
2. Conversely, I would never nit-pick or mock the Constellations' settings and acting.
A gentleman's agreement, in short—
A pledge so the regressor and the Saintess could preserve each other's dignity.
Hence…I actually didn't know in detail what sort of appearance or speech Constellations like [Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace] or [Collector of All Anomalies] used when performing for other Awakeners.
Naturally: nothing compelled the Saintess to endure mortifying embarrassment by showing me her master-class in Constellation roleplay.
She wore a blank face around me every day. Still, the Saintess was human. She possessed that profoundly human emotion, "shame."
And then—
"Myo-ooong! Welcome-nya! Nice-to-meet-nya!"
Today, I witnessed the ghastly truth the Saintess had hidden with all her might from the regressor.
"First time seeing you face-to-face-nya! Undertaker-nya! I'm the Dream Demon-of-the-Grand-Pleasure-Palace-nya!"
"..."
"Ah, that look is scary-nya! Myo myo myo. By the way-nya, unless you defeat me with the concept called 'fun' I'll just keep reviving, so please refrain from pointless killing-nya!"
Boing, boing.
A mint-haired girl, a few years older than [The Monarch of the Crimson Horse] and strongly resembling the Saintess, had rabbit ears flopping atop her head.
I raised a hand.
"Time-out."
"Myoo?"
"I'll be back shortly. Wait right there."
I jumped off the liner and returned to the dinghy. On deck, Go Yuri and Lü Bu were boiling cup-ramen.
"Huh? Brother, back already? G-gasp, did you drop the enemy in a single instant?!"
"Since when was she like that."
"Eh?"
"Her. Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace… that crazy speech pattern. Since when?"
"Uh… always?"
Slurp. Devouring the last spicy beef bowl noodle on Earth, [The Monarch of the Crimson Horse] tilted her head.
"Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace, among us sisters she's 'Myomon.'"
"nya… mon…?"
"Yep. We sisters are concept-mad nut-cases, but she's the worst. Wahaha! Brother, do you see now why I want the rest dead?"
said Lü Bu Feng-xian.
I turned my gaze. Go Yuri was elegantly eating Earth's final Bean Paste Noodles (cup version) with chopsticks.
"This is a lie."
"Oh my."
"Myomon? If she'd been talking like that, no way I'd have missed it. SG Net would be buried in posts: 'Why does that Dream Demon talk like this?'"
"Ufufu."
Even while eating she never got a drop of black sauce on her lips; Yuri smiled demurely.
"Guild Leader, aren't you underestimating Miss Saintess?"
"What?"
"Whenever Miss Saintess talks to someone, she always first casts [Time Stop] and rehearses her lines."
"I know that."
"Right. That's how serious she is about her dignity."
Go Yuri's smile brightened.
"In other words…while you surf SG Net she can pop [Time Stop] and hide any posts she doesn't want you to see."
"What?!"
A shockwave burst in my brain.
What on earth was this pink monster spouting?
"Your IP and account name carry special restrictions. Mr. Seo Gyu or the Saintess can freely 'edit' every post or comment that shows up on your phone."
"Wh-wh-WHAT?!"
A second impact rocked me.
"F-from when?!"
"From the start."
Go Yuri drained even the broth, pressed her hands together and said, "Thanks for the food."
"There are 171 banned words on your account, starting with 'myo.' Mr. Seo Gyu couldn't refuse the Saintess's request, so you've always been looking at a censored SG-Net."
"...…?!?!"
"And if anyone looked about to mention a Constellation trait around Mr. Undertaker, she just zapped them with telepathy and smoothed it over."
Impossible. Absurd.
I was certain my ID had admin powers, yet that too had been Seo-gyu's trick?
"Want one more bombshell?"
"T-there's worse? Don't. My sanity won't hold."
"Even though you finally learnt all this in the 999th cycle, once the run ends you'll lose the memories under Miss Dang Seorin's contract, and fall right back into eternal ignorance ♪~"
"Gyaaaaa!"
I screamed.
"Gyaaaaaaa!"
I kept screaming as I bounded from Red Hare onto the cruise ship.
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"Myo-ong?! Eep—why scream in my face-nya? In Mother's memories you were more serious and dandy, like Tom Ford Oud Wood—unexpected-nya…"
"I'm the surprised one! 'Unexpected' doesn't begin to cover it!"
"I don't understand-nya…"
I crumpled to my knees.
"A lie. A lie. Yes. That treacherous pink thing brain-washed me to slander the Saintess…"
"Ah, that-nya!"
Flap. The Dream Demon's rabbit ears twitched, alive.
"The being near you-nya. Why travel with something so terrifying-nya?"
"…Terrifying? Lü Bu—your sister—follows her fine, doesn't she?"
"That's what's strange-nya!"
The Dream Demon darted her eyes around, then lowered her voice.
"Originally [The Monarch of the Crimson Horse] went out precisely to intercept that being-nya. [The Collector of All Anomalies] planned to back her if needed nya. Yet they both lost all hostility so naturally nya."
"Mm."
That was Go Yuri's nature.
One was compelled to feel unconditional goodwill toward her.
Across the regressor's long life only two people broke the rule: Yu Ji-won, whose face no-one could recognise, and Hecate, whose voice sounded like static.
"Yuri herself probably can't control the power. Anyway she's cooperative now, so no need to worry too—"
"Really nya?"
Blink—Dream Demon's eyelids and rabbit ears leaned toward me.
"Undertaker-nya, how can you be so sure-nya?"
"Ah. Explaining it all is long, but I picked up a limited-time artefact. While I have it, Yuri's brain-washing can't touch me."
"Let me see it nya?"
"Of course."
I slipped a hand into my pocket.
The black hair-tie—Cheon Yo-hwa's keepsake, left when she sacrificed herself, descending the stairs of the unconscious world—
"Hmm?"
The hair-tie.
"…?"
It should be here.
I remembered tucking it in my inner pocket so I wouldn't lose it.
"…"
It wasn't.
I rifled every pocket. Apart from the silver bell my fingers touched nothing.
A chill sliced through my brain.
'Wait. Come to think…'
Cheon Yo-hwa's memento was forged in the unconscious world, not in reality.
If this is no longer the 173th cycle but reality fixed as the 999th cycle, naturally her keepsake must vanish.
Such a simple fact—
'…I hadn't realised until now.'
As though forgetting felt natural.
Even though I'd long known that "real-world Go Yuri" and "unconscious-world Go Yuri" were different.
"…"
I fell silent.
The rabbit ears in front of me flopped.
"Do you truly believe that being is your ally nya?"
Footnotes:
[1] Xu Shu, courtesy name Yuanzhi, originally named Xu Fu, was a Chinese politician of the state of Cao Wei during the Three Kingdoms period of China. He was born in the late Eastern Han dynasty and used to be a vigilante swordsman in his early life.
[2] Zhuge Liang, also commonly known by his courtesy name Kongming, was a Chinese statesman, strategist, and inventor who lived through the end of the Eastern Han dynasty and the early Three Kingdoms period of China.
[3] Pei Songzhi, courtesy name Shiqi, was a Chinese historian and politician who lived in the late Eastern Jin dynasty and the Liu Song dynasty. His ancestral home was in Wenxi County, Shanxi, but he moved to the Jiangnan region later.
[4] The Red Hare or Chi Tu was a famous horse owned by the warlord Lü Bu, who lived during the late Eastern Han dynasty of China.
[5] Guan Yu, courtesy name Yunchang, was a Chinese military general serving under the warlord Liu Bei during the late Eastern Han dynasty of China. Along with Zhang Fei, he shared a brotherly relationship with Liu Bei and accompanied him on most of his early exploits.
[6] Zhang Fei, courtesy name Yide, was a Chinese military general and politician serving under the warlord Liu Bei in the late Eastern Han dynasty and early Three Kingdoms period of China. Zhang Fei and Guan Yu, who were among the earliest to join Liu Bei, shared a brotherly relationship with their lord and accompanied him on most of his early exploits.
-x-X-x-
The Receiver IV
"Oh, you're back? Guild Leader?"
"…"
Go Yuri welcomed my return from the cruise liner with a perfect, hundred-point smile.
Lü Bu was sprawled at the stern of our little skiff, snoring drrrrng—her nose blaring like a siren while she napped away.
Tilt. Go Yuri cocked her head.
"Whatever became of Ms. [Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace]? Since you came home safe, it looks as though you won."
"…Ah, yes."
I opened my right hand.
Fwoosh, light blossomed. Seeing it, Go Yuri pressed her palms together with a soft "Oh my."
A tiny meteorite on my palm was radiating pearly-white light.
"A Star Fragment! It's the drop you get for felling a Constellation. Waaah, as expected of you, Guild Leader! I knew you'd succeed. What sort of game did you use to topple [The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace]?"
"We just wagered on who had better luck. We rolled a die: odd numbers meant my victory, even numbers hers. A pure gamble, free of any outside interference."
Tilt.
Go Yuri's head tipped once more.
"Uh-oh. But if an even number had come up, wouldn't that have been bad?"
"Hmph. In the worst case I still have a secret weapon called you. Even if I'd lost to [The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace] and been reduced to a slave, you would have come to rescue me. Right?"
"…"
Tilt.
"Yes, that's true! Ufufu. Still, Guild Leader, as I always say, depending on me too much isn't healthy, you know? You must remain the protagonist of this stage."
"I'll be careful."
I was about to slip the Star Fragment back into my pouch but hesitated.
"Come to think of it, how should I store this? You already swallowed [The Collector of All Anomalies]. Should I hand this over to you as well?"
"Hmmm."
Go Yuri's gaze slid from my face to the fragment and back again.
"No. That's a trophy you earned yourself, Guild Leader. I think it ought to stay with you!"
"Very well. I'll keep it."
"Great. Let's head for the next port of call!"
I strolled along the gunwale and flicked Lü Bu on the head. The comically over-inflated snot bubble popped with a bang.
"Geh-hyeck?! Wu—Yuan Benchu[1] is a hypocrite! Cao Mengde is a spiteful villain jealous of a hypocrite! Only Lord Xuande[2] truly acted for the people! Long live the Han! Long live Shu Han!"
"It warms my heart to see you using sleep-learning so constructively. Now back to your post as the engine."
"…Yessir."
"Oh? What's with that look?"
"And what's wrong with my eyes, exactly?"
"They look as though you're pining for a former sister who filed her change-of-address inside Go Yuri's stomach. Seeing such beautiful sisterly love makes me think that reuniting separated families might be the noblest deed of all."
"Yahoo! Driving the Red Hare is the whole purpose and meaning of my life! Engine, fire! Overwhelming engine power! Wooooong! Lü Bu is happy!"
The kid, her face alone the spitting image of the Saintess, began rowing with such fervor that even Roman galley slaves would have gasped in admiration.
Rumble-rumble-rumble—
Once we had put some distance between us, the cruise liner in mid-ocean crumbled apart.
That casino liner had been all but a personal relic of a Constellation. Its collapse proved that [The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace] was dead.
"Uwaaah! B-balance! Brother! Keeping our balance is murder, sir!"
[The Monarch of the Crimson Horse screams from the depths of her soul.]
It was not the Pacific, no.
By now, in the 999th cycle, the whole surface lay submerged, so calling it Panthalassa[3] was more accurate.
The wave kicked up by the sinking mega-liner tossed our skiff this way and that.
Blue spray, like cherry petals, brushed across Go Yuri's cheek.
"…"
Watching that, I remembered—
—the private conversation I had just shared atop the liner with [The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace].
"We may have split into assorted Constellations, but in the end our essence traces back to Mother Saintess nya."
Flap-flap.
[The Dream Demon of the Grand Pleasure Palace], whose face was the Saintess's twin save for the rabbit ears, spoke.
"True, Lü Bu-nya is far more violent than Mother. And I myo am frank about desire and pleasure beyond the original. Even so, essence is essence nya."
"What are you getting at?"
"The unbreakable rule that we exist for humanity."
Hop—she jumped down from the baccarat table in the liner's casino.
"Think of it as the Three Laws of Robotics, nya. Mother Saintess isn't foolish. She anticipated 'monstrification,' where Constellations slip her control and run wild-nya."
"…"
"Undertaker-nya, why did you decide the moment you fell into this ruined world that you had to hunt us Constellations nya?"
"Because if I let things be, you would degrade into Outer-God-class monsters bearing the very title Constellation for real."
"Sound analysis, myo. But are you sure you reached that conclusion entirely on your own nya?"
I was not.
If you thought about it, neither [The Monarch of the Crimson Horse] nor [The Collector of All Anomalies] had ever truly threatened me. For ocean-class anomalies they were disconcertingly mild—
—true to their origin being the Saintess.
"…Was my train of thought guided? Without me even noticing?"
"'Manipulated' would be the precise word nya. And it wasn't simple brainwashing either myo."
"What is Go Yuri after? Why egg me on to cull Constellations?"
"No idea, nyoom."
[The Dream Demon] shook her head.
"To be frank… I expected 'it' to board the liner at your side and was terribly on edge nyan. Obviously so myo."
"…Because the longer I act alone, the greater my chance of shaking off Go Yuri's conditioning."
"Exactly, myo."
Even so, Go Yuri had let me leave her side without protest.
In fact, in a way she seemed to want me not to rely on her too much.
Paradoxical.
She was brainwashing me at will, yet kept handing me chances to escape her grasp—an uncanny situation.
I frowned.
"In its own way, it's an opportunity."
"Nyoom?"
"…In my long life as a regressor, I've mostly avoided Go Yuri."
True, I had discovered that the Leviathan Priestess—the silver-haired psychopath—acted as a vaccine against Go Yuri alone.
But every vaccine has a shelf life.
Across the next centuries or millennia, Leviathan's aura would see less and less use.
Just as Hecate was fated to wane, Leviathan too would fade quietly from the universe.
"It's nearly time I faced her head-on."
"…"
"If I've decided to enter the 'narrow gate' for the sake of saving the world, I inevitably have to investigate the riddle called Go Yuri. Perhaps… the 999th cycle is, where she is concerned, a kind of tutorial stage."
"Nyo-ho-hong."
[The Dream Demon] laughed oddly.
"If so, what a colossal prologue! Needing 999 play-throughs just to attempt the tutorial—what kind of outrageous boss is that, nya!"
While she laughed, the exact opposite question flashed through my mind.
If a boss had to wait alone on her stage while 999 rounds of the game revolved before a player could reach her—
—what was in that boss's heart as she waited?
"Good, myo! If Undertaker-nya is resolved to fight that being, we'll do everything we can to help nya."
"'We'?"
"Myooong. As I said, Mother Saintess isn't foolish nya."
The rabbit-eared Constellation grinned.
"And we daughters who share her source—aside from Lü Bu-nya—aren't hopeless idiots either myo!"
She flicked a casino chip.
The black-and-gold chip spun, then landed perfectly on her palm.
At that very moment—
[The Morning Star of the Second Coming is watching you.]
[The Librarian of the Great Library is watching you.]
[The Understanding of Anguish is watching you.]
My mouth fell open.
"No way?"
"That very way, nya. With that terror stalking around, do you think we'd idle away our time in civil war, nyoom?"
――The Constellations were already cooperating.
More precisely, only those who agreed to cooperate had survived.
The rest must have been exterminated after fierce fighting. Maybe even among the allies there had been casualties.
"Yet I sensed none of that from Lü Bu…"
"Ah, she's one-hundred-percent dumb by sheer stats, myo."
"…"
"Try talking 'strategy' or whatever and she'll only set off filial fireworks for her parents. We agreed from the start to use her, nya. Lü Bu-nya is bound to believe she was acting on her very own will, myo!"
An idiot.
Yet precisely because she was foolish, she remained safe from Go Yuri.
If she understood nothing of the current schemes, the chance of leaking info to Go Yuri dropped to zero.
"And [The Collector of All Anomalies]?"
"A scout, nya. We wondered if brute force might work, tried it, and got crushed like me—nyoom. A waste of talent myo…"
So that was how.
"Oh, but that jerk was unlucky-nya, so part of me feels refreshed. Serves her right, myo."
"…"
Is the Saintess perhaps suffering extreme self-loathing and fragmentation??
"I see. Then my goal, besides saving the Saintess, is to learn every possible way to resist Go Yuri's brainwashing—for this run and the ones to come."
"Nyoom. Agreed."
"So what will you do? Say our duel ended in a draw and postpone your culling?"
"…"
Grin. [The Dream Demon] smiled.
"Undertaker-nya really is always kind to Mother, nyoom."
Except for the face, nothing in her manner or aura resembled the original, yet the faintness of that smile felt like the Saintess's.
"Just curious, myo, but any chance you'd like to share a kiss with me?"
"...…"
I take it back. Including the smile, she resembles the Saintess in no way whatsoever.
Seeing my expression, the Dream Demon burst into uproarious laughter. When she finally calmed down, she spoke.
"Well, if it were Mother, she'd be glad she could still help Undertaker-nya even after falling to a monster. And unlike a certain idiot, I'm a genuine filial daughter, myo, so I follow Mother's will to the letter."
"…Considering what you said twenty seconds ago, I can't endorse that claim."
"Have you heard the tale of Jing Ke[4], nyoom?"
The topic changed without warning.
"Jing Ke… The assassin who failed to kill the First Emperor?"
"Exactly, myo."
The Dream Demon chortled.
"If you're going to assassinate an emperor, you must first lull him, and to lull him you need a convincing tribute nya. Undertaker-nya, it's been fun, nyoom."
Before I could grasp her meaning, the Dream Demon summoned a sword—
—and, without hesitation, pierced her own throat.
"…"
No blood sprayed.
She was not human but an anomaly.
Right after her head severed, pitch-black fluid dripped like candle-wax. Soon her whole body melted away, leaving only a lone meteorite gleaming.
An anomaly could kill itself.
I'd long known that fact, yet it was never the sort of shock one grew used to.
[The Morning Star of the Second Coming recommends you pick up the Star Fragment and return to the skiff.]
[The Librarian of the Great Library informs you the Dream Demon's death was pre-arranged.]
[The Understanding of Anguish wishes to discuss avenues for communication with you from now on.]
"…"
I bent down and picked up the meteorite. Warm, as though it still held the sun's heat.
"All right."
In the empty casino, I muttered toward allies who were not present.
"So the alliance has flipped."
Number of Constellation fragments remaining:
Three.
Footnotes:
[1] Yuan Shao, courtesy name Benchu, was a Chinese military general, politician, and warlord who lived in the late Eastern Han dynasty. He occupied the northern territories of China during the civil wars that occurred towards the end of the Han dynasty.
[2] The Xuande Emperor, also known by his temple name as the Emperor Xuanzong of Ming, personal name Zhu Zhanji, was the fifth emperor of the Ming dynasty, reigning from 1425 to 1435. He was the son and successor of the Hongxi Emperor.
[3] Panthalassa was a vast superocean that surrounded the supercontinent Pangaea during the late Paleozoic and early Mesozoic eras, roughly 300 to 200 million years ago according to Wikipedia. It encompassed nearly the entire Earth and is considered a precursor to the modern Pacific Ocean.
[4] Jing Ke was a youxia during the late Warring States period of Ancient China. As a retainer of Crown Prince Dan of the Yan state, he was infamous for his failed assassination attempt on King Zheng of the Qin state, who later became Qin Shi Huang, the Qin Dynasty's first emperor.
-x-X-x-
The Receiver V
When we come to discuss her, it is fair to say that even her name alone feels decidedly ominous.
Yu (妖): sinister yet enticing, seductive yet uncanny, a syllable that lures in demons, foretells an early death, and is therefore monstrous—yet, above all else, beautiful.
Ri (理): the principle that governs such things.
Go Yuri.
The logic that rules over eldritch anomalies.
…No normal parent would ever saddle a child with a name like that.
From the outset, Yu (妖) carries the nuance of dying young—of "perishing before one's time."
Who would ever give their beloved child a character that screams ill fortune? One might as well cast a curse instead.
"Come to think of it."
"Ye—?"
"I've never once heard you talk about your family, Yuri."
While we were sailing toward our next destination, the [Morning Star of the Second Coming], I asked the question as casually as I could.
"Well. In times like these it's hard to imagine any family surviving intact, and frankly I have to wonder whether you ever truly had one."
"Ahaha."
Go Yuri, who had been peering past the horizon through a pair of binoculars, let out a faint laugh.
"Guild Leader does have a habit of tossing off remarks that dig right into a person's heart. You're awful."
"…I was insensitive. Sorry. So you did have a family?"
"Yes. I did. Quite a large one, actually."
A large family? The phrasing sounded odd.
Did she mean she'd had so many brothers and sisters that it was practically a clan?
'A bustling Go Yuri household—little brothers, big brothers, older sisters everywhere. They'd probably start by dropping a colony on Earth as a housewarming gift…'
Lost in silly thoughts for a moment, I stared blankly ahead, just as the bow of our dinghy sliced a clean line through the ocean.
The sea of this world, overflowing with Leviathan's blood, was eerily calm; the wake our little boat left behind was likely the only wave for miles.
"Guild Leader, do you remember your own family?"
"No. Not at all. I'm not sure I've mentioned it, but I'm suffering from a sort of amnesia."
"Oh dear. For their dutiful son who even made it into a top university to forget them… that's tragic."
My heart lurched.
"…Do you know what university I attended?"
"Ahaha, of course. If it weren't an elite school, do you honestly think the pseudo-aristocrats of Sejong would have hired you as their daughters' private tutor?"
"…"
On that point I too had long been puzzled.
'…Why on earth did the Cheon family choose someone like me, a complete nobody, as tutor to their daughters, their precious heirs?'
The gap in status was simply too large.
As was clear with that summer I spent with Yu Ji-won when she was fourteen, my own family was anything but wealthy.
During my college years I'd lived alone in a tiny rental across from her hillside neighborhood, a seven-pyeong* room in a run-down multiplex. (*Roughly 23 m2)
I was probably covering the rent on my own, surviving on student loans.
'Meanwhile, Cheon Yo-hwa lived in a mansion sitting on 14,990 pyeong of land. The cult followers had an entire private community.' (**Roughly 49,524 m2)
'They even ran their own school corporation, grooming the next generation of believers.'
The class divide was obscene.
Even if the old me hadn't been penniless, it was impossible to imagine I'd had the connections to mingle with a provincial noble house.
Prestigious university or not, entrusting their treasured heirs' studies to some random "just a college student," and a male tutor at that—there was simply no reason.
'Something doesn't add up. I'm still missing a piece.'
A riddle unsolved.
"If Guild Leader can't remember his family—"
Go Yuri spoke again while my thoughts chased their tail.
"—then I can't talk about mine."
"Hmm? What does that mean?"
"If whatever I say makes you remember them, you'll just be sad. Either discover them yourself, or remain unaware forever, that's how it should be."
"…But I asked about your family, not mine."
Go Yuri offered no answer.
Still smiling gently, she lowered the binoculars.
"I think we've arrived!"
I turned my head, and the sea split like the miracle of Moses.
Just as in Exodus, the seabed gaped open. Down there, a massive structure showed off its majesty.
"…"
It was so familiar that for a moment my voice simply left me.
And no wonder.
"…Why is every other building in the world underwater, yet the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun[1] is perfectly intact?"
"This too must be the grace of the Supreme Dignity. Wow. Not even the Great Deluge dared swallow the North's holiest shrine!"
Even when the world was whole, that place alone would have been branded a nexus of anomalies and void. Fitting that the [Morning Star of the Second Coming] was waiting for me there.
[The Morning Star of the Second Coming].
Among all the Saintess's alt accounts, it had the most fanatical followers and by far the most convoluted lore.
Outwardly, that account wore the face of Mo Gwang-seo: the kind of middle-aged Korean man you'd get if you asked an image generator for "middle-aged Korean male" and clicked refresh a dozen times.
More precisely, it was an anomaly that merely borrowed the "shape of Mo Gwang-seo."
Well, this palace was practically a mummy dungeon to rival the Pyramids. Like building, like owner.
"Welcome, Undertaker."
So I could hardly help being startled.
"To greet you not with Clairvoyance but with my own eyes is a first. I've long wished to meet you."
"…Uh. Ms. Saintess?"
Seated upon the throne was, by anyone's eyes, the Saintess as she might have looked at ten.
The problem was her speech.
"That title refers either to my poor mother or, in another sense, a pitiable daughter. I am no Saintess."
Unlike the equally child-sized [Monarch of the Crimson Horse], the Constellation before me was remarkably composed.
My head spun.
"First off, where is Mo Gwang-seo?"
"Who knows? I do not. When the Great Deluge came and the world sank, I awoke with my siblings—yet Mo Gwang-seo was already gone."
"…"
"But you spoke down to my other sisters, and now you use honorifics with me."
"Well, yes. I always used proper honorifics with the real Ms. Saintess. As for the knock-off and Bunny Ears… recognizing them as the Saintess would only demean her, so I refrained."
"Ha-ha."
[The Morning Star of the Second Coming] laughed.
Somehow the laughter brimmed with authority, but coming from a child half the throne's height, the dissonance was wild.
"The sisters may feel slighted. Each of them carries one aspect of Mother."
"That's something we'll need to ask the Saintess herself later."
"Hmm? A fair point."
She stroked her chin.
"You do try to listen to others. Even as a regressor, you still respect people. I admire that."
A meaningful smile.
"Of course, no matter how hard you listen, there are some whose words you can never be sure you've truly heard."
"What do you mean?"
"That being. The one you call by your own chosen name. Whatever it says, you can never be certain those words are truly its will—an absolute anomaly."
Go Yuri.
"Why does that being appear to you as a woman with pink hair—an appearance that belongs to no one in this world?"
"…"
Once again, I alone had come inside. Go Yuri was still outside, tying the dinghy.
"The simplest answer," she continued,
"is that your type is pink-haired girls—ones who laugh easily, sit demurely, can debate the Three Kingdoms, play janggu, and cheer for Shu. If that's your ideal, it makes sense."
"My tastes are perfectly ordinary."
"Well, that's a debate for another time, but something about its appearance is too odd to be mere preference."
The Constellation narrowed her eyes.
"If that being could change at will, then at least once it should've shown someone else's face—Dang Seo-rin's, say. Don't you think?"
"You plan to have Oh Dok-seo steal a peek at the side story someday, right? No comment."
"And yet you say it has kept the exact same face since before the fifth run. So very peculiar."
A fair point.
"If someone else could draw your greatest affection, shouldn't its face have changed to them at least once?"
"It's not the only strange part."
There were couples in this world.
To the lonely that might feel cruel, but 'people who love each other' do exist.
"For such a person, Go Yuri should look exactly like their lover. At the very least, someone should see her as a real-world celebrity. Yet…"
"There is none."
The Constellation spoke with certainty.
"No one ever mistakes that entity for anyone who truly exists."
For example—
It was awkward to admit, but whether anyone liked it or not, the person Sim Ah-ryeon 'loves most in the world' is me, the Undertaker.
I won't label that feeling. Ah-ryeon's mind isn't easily caged by a single word.
"…To Ah-ryeon, Go Yuri ought to look exactly like me—or at least resemble me. Yet Ah-ryeon never confuses the two of us."
Click. She nodded.
"The same with Yu Ji-won. Even if she can't recognize faces, if that being could turn into whoever best draws her affection, it would have become you."
"But Go Yuri never managed to become me."
"Indeed. We must conclude she lacks that power."
Why?
Of course, one exception exists.
As mentioned, the [Admin of the Infinite Metagame] claims Go Yuri looks like me—the Undertaker.
…Utterly baffling.
"Therefore,"
The Constellation hopped down from the throne.
"Before I die by your hand, I will risk everything to see that being."
"…"
"Until now I avoided looking for fear of being brainwashed. But I'll die anyway—so on my sisters' behalf I'll witness it myself, and then die."
She fixed me with her gaze.
"So that my final words, my dying scream, might leave some clue to its identity."
"…It will probably do no good."
I shook my head.
"Go Yuri's brainwashing even affects language. Whatever you try to say will reach me already censored."
"We have a countermeasure."
"A countermeasure?"
"In this world, and across all your cycles, only now does it become possible."
She covered her right eye.
"As you see, I'll watch using Clairvoyance only with my left eye."
"...?"
"And at the same moment, my sister, the [Understanding of Anguish], will watch using only her right eye."
She grinned.
"And we'll share our visions."
"W-wait. That means—"
"In my left eye I'll see 'the being as viewed by Morning Star,' and in my right eye 'the being as viewed by Understanding of Anguish.'"
"…!"
My own eyes widened.
"So the Go Yuri who always shows just one face might appear in several forms at once?"
"Exactly."
"If the contradiction cracks, we might glimpse its true face."
"But aren't you sisters all fragments of the Saintess? Won't you see the same ideal?"
"We share an origin, but each of us has her own taste. A simple example: little Lü Bu is fascinated by your backside, while I prefer firm thighs—I'd like to try a lap pillow."
"Excuse me?"
"We're mirrors shattered by Hecate, both the Saintess and not. If we perceived that pink-haired being identically, then we'd collapse into 'one Saintess.'"
Something sounded off, but as if nothing odd had been said, she continued.
"So while someone else's vision might overlap, ours never will. Because the moment it does…"
"…the paradox Hecate built would crumble, Mr. Undertaker."
The voice was not mine.
From behind a massive pillar stepped another figure—her face that of the Saintess, but perhaps ten years older.
"And you are…?"
"Please call me [The Understanding of Anguish]."
Her ankle-length hair swayed as she spoke in a near whisper.
"And there's no need to learn more. I'm only here for this operation."
She strode forward and, without hesitation, clasped my right hand.
As I blinked, [Understanding of Anguish] looked up at me with steady eyes.
"Mr. Undertaker knows that sufficiently enhanced clairvoyance can be shared."
"…Ah."
Indeed—cycle 107, when the Saintess first fell, she'd briefly shown me her third-person sight.
"So I'll project what I see with this right eye into your view," she said.
[The Morning Star of the Second Coming] took my left hand.
"And I'll overlay what I see with my left eye," she added.
They spoke in unison.
"We'll show you."
"We'll overlay them."
"Human eyes are first-person, but our Clairvoyance is third-person."
"With two angles, the pink-haired being's single face should blur."
"A trick possible only in a run with multiple clairvoyants, as monstrous as us!"
"This might be the last chance to see that being."
"It'll likely lash out, try to ruin us—but, Mr. Undertaker, we want you to look."
Identical faces, identical eyes, living along different timelines… they looked up at me together.
"Someday."
"So that even that being can be conquered."
"…"
For a long while I said nothing.
My lips were sealed, but my heart pounded madly.
I could see Go Yuri.
In this run where the Saintess was broken into Constellations—in this bizarre post-calamity epilogue born of Hecate—I might at last witness Go Yuri's real face.
Yet—
Would she want that?
Everyone has a face they choose to show.
If I tear away her unknown visage, would that not bring her sorrow?
That worry weighed on me.
– Ms. Dang Seo-rin killed the me outside.
Her words on that bench in the unconscious realm resurfaced.
– Thanks to that, even if only briefly, I've been able to move a bit more freely.
"…"
Go Yuri is not one.
The Go Yuri in reality, in the unconscious, the one I see, the one Sim Ah-ryeon sees, the one the Constellations see—they are all different.
A kaleidoscope of glass shards.
But has she ever wished for this?
Always forced to wear countless faces, never once her true one—could she really welcome that?
Is this truly the right state for her?
"…All right."
With effort, I spoke.
"I have no idea what will happen, but… I'll accept your plan."
Grip. Fingers tightened around mine.
"Then,"
"Please close your eyes."
The point of no return.
When Cheon Yo-hwa kissed me in the Classroom of Four Seasons. When Yu Ji-won called me "Mr. Matiz." When Dang Seo-rin bound my heart with eternal magic.
That instinct—that certainty—enveloped me once more.
If I take one more step—
I will tread a road with no way back.
"…"
I shut my eyes.
Darkness filled my vision.
Then, alternating by my left and right ears, the Constellations counted.
"We'll count to three."
"Do not open them."
"One."
"Two—"
"Three."
And then—
Go Yuri appeared before my eyes.
Footnotes:
[1] The Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, formerly the Kumsusan Memorial Palace, is a building near the northeast corner of the city of Pyongyang that serves as the mausoleum for Kim Il Sung, the first Supreme Leader.
-x-X-x-
The Receiver VI
Go Yuri's true face.
To insist I had never once imagined it would be a flat-out lie.
Yes… let me confess frankly.
Whenever I was idle I would picture what Go Yuri might really look like.
Was she an anomaly? A genuine human being?
Did she have a blank, featureless head like Slender Man? Or was her face nothing but churning noise, like the Abyss itself?
Perhaps, just perhaps, she had once been one of my own companions, fallen and corrupted until "Go Yuri" was all that remained.
And so—
"...?"
Bzz-zzzt—
The instant my sight linked with the Constellations' and I saw what their third-person clairvoyance was seeing, I could hardly trust my eyes—nor even the [Clairvoyance] that was sharing the image with me.
"J-Jeong Seo-ah?"
There, a tiny child was standing.
Jeong Seo-ah. Anyone with a prodigious memory might recall the name, the little girl from the bakery in Haeundae who always ran up to me and gave me sugar-coated doughnuts, a pint-sized assassin whose dream was to become the Empress of Insulin.
'Jeong Seo-ah? Go Yuri? Why… how?'
Moreover, every time a cycle changed, Seo-ah's gender and appearance changed as well. It had to, because her baker parents conceived their child after the apocalypse, and the timing of a pregnancy naturally shifted from run to run.
'That's… Seo-ah from the 19th cycle.'
A being only I could recognize. Even her parents would not have known her if the cycle were different, yet there she was, in the 999th run, in front of the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, poking curiously at the parted walls of water like a child at the Red Sea.
'What in the world…'
Was that Go Yuri's true form?
Just a cute sugar-bomb terrorist whose lethal doughnuts threatened me with hyperglycemia, and yet she was supposed to be the star of the "pink entity"?
My understanding, painstakingly built over countless regressions, began to crack. Static crawled across my view like an old CRT screen.
Bzz, bzzt-bzzt. Bzz.
The black was Seo-ah's shadow—alive, tentacular, climbing to swallow her whole.
The white was Seo-ah's face—skin melting like candle wax, dropping onto the shadow in thick plops.
After black and white crossed—
"Ah?"
She changed.
A face at once familiar and impossible to grow used to.
– …
The so-called Undertakeress—my female self whom Dang Seo-rin and I had met on the flight to Salar de Uyuni.
– …Seo-rin.
Undertakeress looked up at someone.
Toward a shadow creature made of black-and-white noise—unrecognizable. She reached out with her right hand, gently stroked the thing's cheek.
– Sorry.
At that word, the shadow drove a dagger down. Thud! From the breast that blade pierced burst a spray of blinding white noise—blood.
White droplets spattered, and the shadow's sooty black spread like ink in water.
When black and white had mingled—
Bzz-bzzzt, kshh, bzzt-bzzt!
A wholly different scene unfurled.
– All units, advance!
A man's voice.
The face was familiar, yet my brain buffered a moment before it placed him.
– Guild Leader Lee Baek! A meteor shower's coming down!
– It matters not! If we falter here, the Great Witch of Night will wipe us out anyway! Fear no losses—forward!
Lee Baek. The thug from the Busan-Station tutorial who always split survivors into cliques—his power, Lion's Roar.
That I failed to recognize him at once even with [Complete Memory] was no wonder. His whole demeanor was transformed.
'Why is that punk… like this?'
First, the expression, it was stalwart. All the greasy bravado of a hoodlum was gone. His eyes stared straight at reality.
– Left flank! Draw the meteor fragments away!
– Yes, Guild Leader!
– Right flank! The Witch's main body is hiding nearby—find it and annihilate it!
– Aye, My Lord!
…What on earth was happening?
Lee Baek was commanding a vast battlefield with nothing but [Lion's Roar]. Awakeners moved as a single organism under his orders.
– Undertaker.
– Hm.
From behind came the one called Undertaker. Lee Baek looked at him with absolute trust, a look that had never once passed between the real Lee Baek and me in ten thousand years of cycles.
– The final blow is yours.
– As always.
– Can you manage it? The foe is the Great Witch.
– That question is meaningless. If I can't, I die.
Behind Lee Baek stood Undertaker; behind him, another presence flickered like a shadow. It murmured, and both Lee Baek and Undertaker nodded at once. I tried to see who it was—
Bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt-bzzt!
Black-and-white static devoured the world.
From the left of my vision a white fluid splashed. Something burst with a wet pop. And I knew, instinctively, that it was happening not inside the "screen" projected by Clairvoyance but outside it.
"…Mr. Undertaker."
I opened my eyes.
My left hand—[Morning Star of the Second Coming] had been holding it moments ago. The Constellation still held it, yet her wrist had lost all weight. Her body dangled in empty air like a puppet on a broken swing.
"…"
"The Morning Star is dead."
I turned right.
[Understanding of Anguish] was not unharmed either. White blood trickled from her mouth, eyes, and ears.
"I won't last long either, so…"
"Exchange… information."
"…Yes."
Cough—white liquid spattered from her lips. She seemed to gather the last of her life into our interlocked fingers.
A vision attempted at the cost of life.
The Constellation reported the result.
"We… saw nothing."
"Nothing."
"Yes. Only swirling black-and-white static. Of that being itself—not a glimpse."
"…"
A critical clue… even fragments of the Saintess, degraded to ocean-class anomalies, had failed to observe Go Yuri's essence with their full [Clairvoyance].
Yet—
"Mr. Undertaker… you saw, didn't you?"
"I did."
Why only I could perceive it, I did not know. Perhaps someday I would. But through the sight they had fought to share, I had seen a part of Go Yuri.
"…Good… to hear."
Understanding gave a faint smile.
"Mr. Undertaker… please… the one that still… remains…"
[The Understanding of Anguish wishes you good fortune.]
Sluuush.
Her body, already melting like wax, collapsed completely.
Left hand. Right hand.
"…"
What last words had she tried to leave me?
'The one that still remains… take care of it.'
Whatever "it" was, I felt the outline in her broken breath.
"…I understand."
One fragment of a Constellation remained to me now. Only one.
Clap!
Go Yuri smacked her hands together.
"My goodness. A pair of nasty Constellations lying in ambush, and the mighty Guild Leader wiped them both out in one go. Amazing as ever!"
…I edited what had happened inside the palace and told her a more palatable version. She accepted without suspicion—or perhaps she simply didn't care whether she believed it or not.
R-r-r-umble.
Soon the parted sea crashed closed again, like the clap of Yuri's hands.
From the stern Lü Bu howled, manning the oar.
"Uooohhh!? As if I'd let my Red Hare sink! Red Hare is unsinkable! Not like the nags of commoners!"
"Kyah-aa-!"
With Lü Bu's rowing skill, already S-rank on water, the dinghy shot clear of the collapsing trench. The route was as wild as any roller coaster. Go Yuri screamed with delight while white spray, as pale as Constellation blood, lashed us on all sides.
"…Go Yuri."
"Yes?"
"By our bearings this must once have been Pyongyang. So Busan is completely submerged, isn't it?"
"Ah, yes, probably. After all, the uninhabited island where you first woke up was Busan."
I peered overboard. The water was unnaturally clear, streets of a drowned city lay visible below. Empty underwater avenues, smashed windows, lampposts—with not even fish gliding between them. No sign of life at all.
"I see."
I chose my words with care, wearing a regretful expression.
"I guess I'll never again buy bread at that Haeundae bakery."
"Ah. That place was a gem."
Go Yuri volleyed back my remark as naturally as tossing a volleyball.
"I loved their croissants most! Mmh, peeling off those thin layers and biting down, so crisp."
"…"
After clearing the Busan Station tutorial, Go Yuri had vanished. Only later had sightings popped up in Daejeon. Chronologically, she could not have tasted any croissant there, for the bakery reopened much later.
"And inside, all pillowy and soft… like your tongue was lying down on a little bed."
Yet the expression melting across her face as she reminisced overflowed with life. She spoke of memories from a street that no longer existed.
"…Personally, I liked the owners more than the flavor."
"Eh?"
"Every morning at seven they swept the walk, greeting passers-by with big smiles. They met as exchange students in Hawaii, I think."
Go Yuri was watching me. I swallowed, not with my mouth, but with my heart.
"…Their kid was wonderfully polite too. I only wish she'd stop using me as the guinea pig for new recipes."
"Fufu. Guild Leader does exude that hard-to-approach aura. Children rarely dare get close."
"Isn't that too cruel? She calls me oppa."
"You have to understand, Guild Leader. Whether it feels unfair or not, you've lived tens of thousands of years by lifespan alone. If you still insist on being called oppa… hahh. You'll pioneer a new frontier in the domain of humanity's conscience…"
A drop fell into my chest.
In the 999th cycle, this very run, Jeong Seo-ah was a boy. Not a little girl.
"…"
My heart thumped.
"…Well. Thanks to that boy Seo-ah I'm used to being called mister now."
This time I pictured the cheerful boy of the 999th run. As always, [Complete Memory] supplied a crystal-clear recall.
"Cute kids chirping 'mister, mister,' and their cuteness just overruns my dignity."
"…"
Thump. Thump-thump.
My racing heart would not calm.
Just now I had uttered two statements blatantly at odds with each other. A moment ago I'd said a girl named Seo-ah called me oppa. Immediately after, I added that a boy named Seo-ah called me mister.
A contradiction. An odd exchange. Any ordinary person—say, Noh Do-hwa—would have barked, "What nonsense are you spouting?" right away.
"Ahaha."
Go Yuri—
"――Maybe that's because you actually don't mind being called mister, Guild Leader."
—answered as though nothing whatsoever was strange.
"…Me?"
"Yes. Think about it. When Oh Dok-seo calls you mister, you feel quite a bit of closeness, don't you?"
As if there had been no oddity in our entire conversation.
"More than anything, you honestly don't care about age."
Go Yuri was smiling. As if teasing me.
"I even know why, you see?"
"…Oh? And why is that?"
"Because of Ms. Saintess. She used [Time Stop] so much her lifespan keeps stretching abnormally."
Go Yuri was smiling. As if finding me impressive.
"If you fretted about your own age, you'd inevitably force Ms. Saintess to count hers the same way. So you're being considerate of her."
Go Yuri was smiling. As if she understood me.
"…Is that what you think?"
I managed to reply, but I had no composure to move my tongue.
Every five seconds I pivoted the images in my mind with [Complete Memory]—Noh Do-hwa of the 53rd run. Switch. Sim Ah-ryeon of the 95th. Switch. Yu Ji-won of the 777th. Switch. The Saintess of the 107th.
Over and over, like turning a kaleidoscope, swapping memories at a resolution only I could achieve.
"Yes!"
Go Yuri was smiling.
"That delicate consideration of yours moved Noh Do-hwa." "Because Sim Ah-ryeon is surprisingly sensitive." "A natural at telling lies from truths." "Which made things hard for Yu Ji-won," "yet also led her to listen to your voice."
Go Yuri was smiling.
Go Yuri was smiling.
Go Yuri was smiling.
"And Ms. Saintess already knows—she won't say it out loud, but she knows you're thinking of her. Wahh. I find that relationship truly beautiful!"
"…"
Ah…
My soul, not my lips, released a sigh—black in color.
'This is not a conversation.'
No one could have realized it, unless they, like me, had lived through contradictory timelines. Unless they, like me, possessed flawless recall of each one.
'…I'm not talking with her at all.'
There was no such thing as "Go Yuri."
I could neither see her nor hear her.
Her thoughts, tastes, hobbies, likes and dislikes, memories, shared recollections—none of it could pass between us.
'She merely reads the sights of the timelines I've walked and, matching them, enacts the perfect dialogue, the perfect action…'
It was not mind control. It only became mind control as a side effect.
'Whoever she speaks with, she reads their deepest interior and resolves it.'
The optimal conversation.
The optimal counseling.
In other words: the optimal route.
Strategy Guide.
That was Go Yuri's authority.
Within it, her own will and desire did not exist.
"…"
I thought about the being before my eyes.
Has she ever, even once, conversed with someone?
"Huh? Guild Leader?"
Go Yuri—
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
—was smiling.
-x-X-x-
────
The Receiver VII
Shall I bring up a slightly different topic.
Everyone has, at least once, fallen into the fantasy of [Character Making] themselves.
For example, if you're of the Harry Potter generation, you've probably day-dreamed about your avatar (for some reason sorted into Ravenclaw House) enrolling at Hogwarts.
Bloodline? Noble. Appearance? Naturally a peerless beauty—absolutely a peerless beauty. Luck? Top-tier. The rest of the settings… huh, who cares? ONLY the peerless beauty. Even if you have to pile on every negative trait imaginable to scrape together enough points, you absolutely refuse to give up that peerless beauty. Your body is frail, you cough delicately all the time (people have to notice by pure coincidence, of course), and you're actually afflicted by an incurable disease and a curse? All the better… and so on.
It makes no difference even if you're not imagining yourself entering a particular fictional universe.
TRPGs, role-plays, whatever.
At the very least, you wish that the real-life you could turn into someone a bit more ideal.
'The greatest version of myself I can picture.'
Opportunities to sketch an original character in your head are surprisingly common.
Now, let's add one more layer of imagination.
Imagine that a person called A really gained the ability of [Character Making].
Of course, an ability called [Character Making] doesn't exist in reality.
I'm not speaking in circles just to confuse you.
To put it bluntly, this is not an accurate account of Go Yuri.
I'm only using [Character Making] as an example so you can picture it easily.
Even so—if such an impossible fantasy came true, what would happen next?
First of all, the fact that you'd check off 'peerless beauty' as your very first trait is so obvious anyone could predict it without being a prophet.
After that, according to your taste, you might deepen bonds with a childhood friend, bump into a literary girl in a hidden archive, secretly help a genius artist who's perfect on the outside but a bundle of yandere nerves on the inside, or be doted on by a sibling who's unusually kind only to you.
Just design your life however you like.
– Life is wonderful!
And then, just when you're enjoying that beautiful life to the fullest, an unfortunate bit of news arrives: the Void comes calling.
– Uh-oh?
The genre shifts.
No matter how lovingly crafted your OC is, they can only panic. How can a whole universe change this suddenly?
Thankfully, the panic doesn't last long. The odds are high that you already invested in something like 'Mental Fortitude: A-class' during [Character Making].
– Ahh, so that's what the hidden setting was?
Above all, to your surrogate A, this sort of genre drift feels like a cliché in itself.
– I've seen this somewhere before!
– Well, it can't be helped. Let's give it a go… saving the world.
Now A starts paying attention to traits they barely glanced at when they first did [Character Making].
'Swordsmanship Talent.' In a modern story you figured you'd never need such a trait, but things are different now. Pick it. Slot it in. Talent cap? Obviously S-class.
'Magic Talent.' Same story. Scribbling even more cheat codes onto an already happy life might offend A's aesthetic sense, but next to a grand event like the end of the world, personal qualms are trivial. Pick it. Slot it in. Talent ceiling? SSS-class.
Far beyond an OC and into the territory of an undeniable Mary Sue—a munchkin that anyone would complain about—the overpowered build is now complete.
– Now then! How do you like me!
And the Void arrives.
– Huh?
The difficulty feels a bit off.
– Hmm?
Still, there's no need to worry.
A has a cheat key:
Unlimited [Character Making] ticket service!
Spin the gacha as much as you like! Apart from having to invest your time with each spin, it's practically free! Good grief. The devs must be crazy!
So what's left?
You.
– What, I have to pick even more traits…?
A hint of dissatisfaction.
A lone Mary Sue stomping everything flat by herself is way off A's taste.
Even so—what choice is there? The world must be saved.
Because the childhood friend whose bond you painstakingly built, the literary girl who makes you light-hearted just by her presence, the genius artist who shows a real smile only to you, the sibling who'd dive into Hell for your sake—
If you don't save the world, they all die.
And it won't be a peaceful death either.
– Mm.
For yourself. For others.
For the life that has already become precious.
– Fine, just a bit more.
'Charisma.' You never wanted to stand out, but if you're going to block the Void you have to unite humanity. Mediating between countless people with conflicting interests already makes your head spin and your chest feel tight, but—
– Just a bit more.
'Natural Socialite.' Then all you need is a trait that lets you enjoy socializing itself. Now hanging out with scheming power players isn't painful. Sure, as a human you still get stressed, but—
– A bit more?
'Indomitable Will.' In that case, nullify the stress itself. More precisely, impose upon yourself a steel will that never collapses even under stress. Traits like 'Diligent' and 'Conviction' are bonuses. Willpower beyond anything your past self could have imagined.
– Just a bit more.
'Graceful Speech.' The ability to speak at any time and place without losing dignity or courtesy, so no one ever underestimates you. But some people positively dislike formal manners, so—
– Just a bit more!
'Psychological Insight.' If you can sense someone's psyche instinctively, you can tailor your response. 'Mind Reading.' Read their thoughts outright and you can judge not just instinctively but with intellect. 'Status.' By reading even the opponent's talents and disposition, you remove any room for misunderstanding.
– Just a bit more.
– Just a bit more.
– Just a little…
There are countless roads to unhappiness, but only one path to happiness, so they say. Tolstoy said something similar.
Road. Route.
The sun sets but the road is still long.
It can't be helped. The journey is urgent, yet the sun is already sinking.
If letting the sun set is the law of nature, then walking the road is the law of humanity. And Nature—the world—now hates humankind. So why should I place nature's law above human law?
– Huh?
Somehow I feel more erudite.
Now you can quote both Anna Karenina and the Records of the Grand Historian with perfect ease.
You couldn't read classical Chinese at all before.
Since when?
…You're not sure.
Was it when you took 'Culture' as a trait? Or when, to recruit a particular someone, you chose 'Calligraphy' as a shared hobby?
Or, or, or—
– …Huh.
Déjà vu.
– …
Once, your family badgered you to get into a prestigious university. Studying was boring, but the world is harsh, they said, and a top-tier diploma is indispensable. Lacking the courage to ignore that brief, persuasive logic, you probably took the trait 'Scholastic Ability.'
Once, you hated people, hated forcing yourself to smile, but you had no power to trample those you disliked and no nerve to face them without a smile, so you probably took the traits 'Sociability' and 'Smile.'
You didn't hate it.
You didn't love it either.
Things you merely 'didn't hate' piled up.
Before you knew it, perhaps the heap had grown into something close to 'hate.'
– …Just a little more.
No need to worry.
A has a cheat key:
'Optimism.' 'Bright Smile.' 'Sense of Happiness.' 'Carrier of Happy Virus.' 'Stress Immunity.' 'Dopamine System Immunity.' 'Unquenchable Hope.' 'A magic switch that turns sadness ON/OFF.' 'Be Happy.' 'Healthy Self-Love.' 'Ability to forcibly redirect your train of thought.' 'Be Happy.' 'Don't grieve over failure.' 'Don't despair over frustration.' 'Cherish success.' 'Never lose curiosity about the world.' 'Be Happy.'
And what remains after all this?
Everything.
– …
Just that… you are no longer there.
The rowboat fell silent.
"…"
"…"
The reason was simple.
After that last exchange, I'd stopped talking to Go Yuri.
I'd realized that any conversation was meaningless.
"…"
A faint smile.
Go Yuri likewise didn't open her mouth first.
She must have decided that, with me as I am now, the best way to draw goodwill was 'silence.' She kept only a faint smile on her lips.
So on the broad sea only the sound of oars stirring the water broke the hush.
"Uh. Um."
Shifting around awkwardly—
Lü Bu glanced away.
"…Ah, right! Brother! Now only [The Librarian of the Great Library]'s star shard is left, isn't it! Wahaha. That means either she or I will become the final Constellation. Brother, whom will you choose?"
"We'll see when we get there."
"As expected, Brother, you're cautious! Ha-a! But I! Even if I'm reborn as the one and only Constellation, I swear I will never betray you, Brother! Am I not the very model of a loyal retainer!"
"Right."
"Ah-ha-ha! Heh-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha…."
Lü Bu's expression slowly flattened.
"Ehh, this is bad news."
When I still didn't react, Lü Bu glanced up at the sky like a dog whose owner had scolded it.
[The Monarch of the Crimson Horse voices serious doubts about the current mood.]
[The Monarch of the Crimson Horse does not understand your sudden change of heart.]
I couldn't explain.
Lü Bu had already come into too close contact with Go Yuri. Even if he understood my explanation, he would never be able to abandon his attachment to her.
In the end, until we reached our final destination, the rowboat was steeped in silence.
"Whoa, hey. We've arrived."
The Tower of Babel.
Lü Bu moored the boat to that structure standing in the middle of the sea. As usual he tried to flop down and stretch out, but I stopped him.
"You're coming with me this time."
"Huh? Ah, yes. Understood."
Just as I was about to disembark with Lü Bu—tug.
Something gripped my clothes.
When I turned, Go Yuri was gently pinching the hem of my collar with her fingertips.
"…"
In her other hand she held out a star fragment.
[The Collector of All Anomalies]. It was the residue of the Constellation Go Yuri had devoured on the deserted island.
"You're kind, Guild Leader."
Go Yuri parted her lips.
"No matter what we say now, you can never know what I truly meant. The 'real me' is cut out of the dialogue, and only the 'Go Yuri' created by your imagination is left smiling."
"…"
"So there's only one way to communicate with 'me.' Silence. If no words are exchanged, your silence itself shows you're keeping quiet for my sake."
She gave a bright smile.
"Thank you."
"…"
"It's so like you to find a method anywhere, Guild Leader, but you don't have to be considerate. I'm actually more comfortable if you keep talking to yourself. It's a kind of pleasant white noise!"
Was that truly Go Yuri's feeling?
I couldn't tell.
I even tried using [Mind Reading] as an experiment, but it had no effect.
Like a warped mirror, like a broken kaleidoscope, the being before my eyes only refracted my own psyche.
"…I'm sorry."
After accepting the star fragment, I murmured quietly.
"Huh."
"To talk with you, I'd have to face you while holding your real form in my mind. But for me now, that's impossible. I… can't know your true face. I'm sorry."
"Huh. Huh."
"Forgive me."
Go Yuri's lips slowly opened.
"ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ."
But no voice came out. Even her lips didn't move. In the pitch-black well beyond, there wasn't even a sign of a tongue.
"ㅤㅤ." "ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ." "ㅤㅤㅤㅤ."
I couldn't reach her.
The Void.
"…"
Closing her lips, Go Yuri smiled. And she never spoke again. She only waved her hand, as though bidding farewell.
I stepped out of the rowboat.
When I climbed the Tower of Babel and glanced back, the boat moored at the steps was drifting all alone, with no one on board.
"Brother."
"Mm? Yes?"
"Do you remember who was with us just now?"
Lü Bu tilted her head.
"Huh? What are you saying, Brother? Ever since the deserted island, haven't the two of us siblings overcome every ordeal together! Wahaha!"
"…I see."
"Yep! The moment this little brother lost his Sky-Piercing Halberd yet still defeated [The Collector of All Anomalies] must be recorded in Brother's heroic chronicles! I truly hope your personal Prophet will do it justice!"
The instant Lü Bu said that, for some reason my own memory conjured up an image of this kid actually clashing with [The Collector of All Anomalies].
Vaguely—at some unknown place, maybe that deserted island. But the image was vivid.
'Just as I thought.'
If I didn't possess [Complete Memory], my original memories would already have been entirely painted over.
'Perhaps it isn't a coincidence that I was given this kind of memory.'
Threads of inevitability woven like spider silk.
Feeling one of those flimsy strands catch my ankle, I climbed the tower steps.
A short time later.
"Welcome, my master."
A certain Constellation awaited me in the tower's innermost chamber.
Seeing me freeze for a moment, she spread a fan and hid her lips.
"Your face has hardened. Why? Were you expecting [The Librarian of the Great Library] instead? Oh dear, how disappointing."
"…Why are you here?"
"Oh my, do I really need to explain? That crude, barbaric, stupid miko must have followed 'that side.' Naturally, that leaves me by myself on 'this side.'"
The white girl.
Despite her aristocratic speech and bearing, shackles bound her ankles, wrists, and even the slender neck beneath her face.
"Ahh. Truly! Free of that wretched brat—oh my, pardon. Free of that wretched apostle—the very air feels different."
This was the first time I'd met her in reality.
Even so, I could speak her name without hesitation.
"…The Admin of the Infinite Metagame."
"Yees."
Click—the fan folded shut.
"I've been waiting, regressor. My detestable master."
Unlike the other Constellations, whose beginnings were lies from the outset, the outcast god who alone was a true Constellation smiled fearlessly.
[The Admin of the Infinite Metagame greets you.]