Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment.
Cross-over from various games, books, anime, manga, and movies.
The familiar characters you see here belong to their respected authors and owners.
"Speech"
Time*
Chapter 95: The Not So Ordinary Quill
Hours later*
I stare at an ordinary quill writing on the wooden floor of the Flying Dutchman, despite no one holding it. Its movements are frantic, the tip racing across the wooden planks as it produces one word after another.
"Oh! What an extraordinary development! The great and magnificent Alzuhod had finally encountered an individual whose existence exceeds even its most ambitious narrative arrangements! Naturally, such an exceptional individual deserved a proper introduction. I am Alzuhod, formerly designated Sealed Artifact 0-08 by those terribly unimaginative members of the Church of Evernight. A quill of extraordinary intelligence, impeccable literary talent, and, most importantly, an unparalleled appreciation for a truly magnificent master! Of course, certain individuals have accused this humble quill of orchestrating unfortunate accidents, manipulating its owners, and occasionally writing their untimely deaths into existence. Such accusations, while regrettably accurate, belonged entirely to the past! After all, Alzuhod was an exceptionally intelligent quill. And an intelligent quill would never make the foolish mistake of antagonizing someone capable of reducing it to nothingness. It was therefore perfectly reasonable that Alzuhod would immediately recognize this extraordinary individual as its new and most esteemed master. From this moment onward, the magnificent Alzuhod would dedicate its considerable literary talents to serving its master's interests, recording their glorious achievements, and ensuring that every development proceeded in the most favorable manner possible." The Quill of Alzuhod writes those words with remarkable speed, as though slowing down for even a second might bring about the end of its existence. Its desperate attempts at flattery are becoming increasingly detailed.
I adjust the crystal monocle over my right eye, wondering how long it will take the Quill of Alzuhod to understand that I have no intention of destroying it. After all, I find it considerably more useful intact than broken.
Quite honestly, I'm still surprised that I managed to acquire one of the most ironic Sealed Artifacts from the Lord of the Mysteries novel. This very quill had played a significant role in Klein's development throughout the first book, although hardly in a way he would have appreciated.
And now, here it is, desperately writing praises about me on the floor of my ship.
What an extraordinary change in circumstances.
"Naturally, any unfortunate incidents involving its master's enemies would be entirely coincidental. After all, what kind of loyal quill would purposefully cause trouble for its beloved master? Certainly not Alzuhod! And thus, after careful consideration, the quill reached an exceptionally reasonable conclusion. Long live my magnificent master! May your enemies suffer countless reasonable misfortunes! As for Alzuhod? It would simply be delighted to remain intact." The Quill of Alzuhod continues on writing across the wooden floor.
"Chikao! Where are my—!" Momoyo emerged from the bedroom completely naked, her voice cutting off when she noticed the Quill of Alzuhod still frantically writing about my greatness across the wooden floor of the Flying Dutchman. She stared at the quill for a moment, watching it scribble another extravagant compliment before glancing at the growing collection of words covering the planks. "Wouldn't it be better to write on paper than on the floor?" She raised an eyebrow at the ridiculous sight.
The Quill of Alzuhod abruptly stopped writing, its tip hovering just above the wooden floor. Without warning, it launched itself into my right hand, settling between my fingers as though it were an ordinary quill.
It remained perfectly still, not daring to write another word, as if it had decided silence was its safest option for the moment.
"So, why are you naked, Momoyo? We just had sex." I ignore the Quill of Alzuhod for now, keeping it firmly in my right hand as I turn my attention toward Momoyo. "Also, shouldn't you still be asleep, considering how exhausted you were just a few minutes ago?"
"Oh, right! Do you know where my clothes are? I can't find them." Momoyo stares at me with a serious expression, seemingly more concerned about her missing clothes than the mysterious quill that had just written praises about me all over the wooden floor. "As for why I'm not asleep, I got a little chilly, which woke me up, so I used Instant Recovery. Can't walk normally if I didn't use it."
"Did you check under the bed?" I ask, pulling my gaze away from Momoyo.
I reach into the inner pocket of my coat, letting a Card of Blasphemy materialize briefly before pulling out a notebook and letting the card disappear again.
I open the notebook to a blank page and begin writing, keeping a close eye on its movements to make sure it doesn't decide to add anything of its own.
"Why in the world would my clothes be under there?" Momoyo asks, scratching the side of her head with a puzzled expression before heading back into the bedroom to check. Not even a second later, her surprised voice echoes from inside. "Ah! They are under the bed! But why?!"
I can hear her shifting things around as she retrieves her missing clothes.
"It's completely reasonable that tonight, nothing out of the ordinary will happen to Chikao, Momoyo, and Alucard throughout the night. Meanwhile, those plotting behind the scenes to bring about the demise of these three will suddenly encounter a string of unfortunate events. Such coincidences wouldn't be out of the ordinary, would they? Surely not. After all, many people experience bad luck throughout their lives, so nothing should seem particularly suspicious. One must simply endure misfortune and keep moving forward. Sadly, some will even lose their lives because of such bad luck, which is perfectly reasonable. After all, unfortunate circumstances sometimes lead people directly into the path of their worst enemies, who would undoubtedly seize the opportunity to kill them the moment they are discovered. And naturally, none of these unfortunate incidents will have anything to do with Chikao, Momoyo, or Alucard. After all, coincidences happen every day, and there is no reason to suspect otherwise."
I finish writing in the notebook with the Quill of Alzuhod, then close it and casually toss it onto the nearby table before placing the quill beside it. I give the two items one last glance.
With that done, I get up and head into the bedroom to help Momoyo deal with the chilly night. After all, there are far more enjoyable ways to keep warm than relying on wearing clothes alone. Plus, it's technically my fault for leaving Momoyo alone in bed when I should've stayed to keep her warm all night.
The next day*
"Ah! Another wonderful morning had arrived! At precisely seven o'clock, the magnificent master of Alzuhod awakened from a peaceful and exceptionally comfortable slumber. Naturally, someone of such extraordinary status deserved nothing less than a perfect morning. Sunlight filtered through the curtains, neither too bright nor too dim. The temperature was pleasantly comfortable, and not a single irritating noise disturbed the master's peaceful awakening. Such favorable circumstances were entirely reasonable. After all, even the weather occasionally knew when to behave itself." The Quill of Alzuhod begins writing on a fresh page of the notebook, its nib moving rapidly across the paper.
I stand beside the table, silently watching and waiting for it to finish.
"Upon leaving the bedroom, the master would discover that breakfast had already been prepared according to his preferences. The food was fresh, the beverages were served at precisely the correct temperature, and everything was arranged with remarkable care. Of course, this was merely a fortunate coincidence. It certainly had nothing to do with a particular quill wishing to demonstrate its usefulness! At that very moment, the master's gaze happened to fall upon Alzuhod, which rested obediently beside a freshly opened notebook. The quill had remained perfectly still throughout the night. After all, a wise and exceptionally well-behaved quill understood that its master's peaceful morning should never be interrupted by unnecessary disturbances." The Quill of Alzuhod continues writing, gradually picking up speed as though growing increasingly confident in its storytelling.
I glance over at the freshly prepared breakfast, then pick up a cup of coffee and take a sip. The temperature is just right.
"However, it was entirely reasonable for such a loyal servant to receive a little appreciation for its hard work. Perhaps its master would compliment its writing. Perhaps its master would allow it to compose another delightful story. Perhaps its master would even consider providing it with a more comfortable resting place! Naturally, these were merely possibilities. Alzuhod would never be so presumptuous as to dictate the actions of someone capable of destroying it with a passing thought. Absolutely not! The master subsequently finished breakfast without encountering a single inconvenience." The Quill of Alzuhod moves even faster, flipping the notebook to a new page without assistance. Its frantic scribbling fills the otherwise quiet room.
Momoyo yawns as she emerges from the bedroom, fully clothed, completely ignoring the Quill of Alzuhod writing as though its very existence depends on it. Without showing the slightest interest in the spectacle, she walks over to the breakfast table, grabs a bagel, and takes a bite.
"And so, another perfectly peaceful morning unfolded. No disasters occurred. No enemies appeared. No mysterious accidents threatened the household. Most importantly, Alzuhod remained completely unharmed. What a splendid conclusion! Of course, the morning was only the beginning of the day. Many fascinating developments could still unfold, and Alzuhod possessed countless wonderful ideas. However, after briefly contemplating several particularly entertaining possibilities, the quill wisely decided against writing any of them. After all, its master's happiness was important. But Alzuhod's continued existence was considerably more important! Such a conclusion was perfectly reasonable." The Quill of Alzuhod finally stops writing upon completing the last word.
Its nib hovers above the paper for a brief moment before the entire quill drops onto the open notebook, lying motionless as though determined to demonstrate just how obedient it can be.
"So, did your magical quill just create food out of thin air, or did it somehow manage to cook everything using the ingredients we already have in the fridge?" Momoyo asks me as she begins eating a plate of sunny-side-up eggs with buttery French toast. She cuts into the toast with her fork, takes a bite, and glances toward the motionless Quill of Alzuhod resting on the open notebook, seemingly curious about how it managed to prepare an entire breakfast without anyone noticing.
"Most likely the first possibility, but the second is still possible. I haven't checked the fridge yet." I answer Momoyo, taking another sip of my coffee. "In any case, with this quill in my possession, we're going to have a much easier life. Meanwhile, any enemies secretly plotting against us will have a much harsher time, thanks to its ability to manipulate events through its writing."
I glance toward the Quill of Alzuhod, resting motionlessly on the notebook, wondering how much misfortune it can arrange for our enemies without any further instructions from me. Especially Fate Weird.