"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I asked Isabella.
It's the weekend, and because no one in our house has a real job, we were all at the mall having a family day.
"No reason," she said, shrugging her shoulders and looking around.
Dominic and Isabella were being very weird, "I'm just excited to be at the mall!" She said, sounding a little too excited.
"Right, okay." The two of them took turns looking at me with the same weird look that I swear was genetic.
Matteo and Leo were at a weird distance, but still somehow too close for comfort. I couldn't explain it.
This whole thing felt very weird, and not in a bad way, in a like I'm being kept out of something, or they are hiding something from me kind of way.
Like, I think it's a date, because now that I think about it. Dominic was acting like this when he did our surprise date, but Isabella acting weird is making me overthink that part.
I pushed my glasses back on my face, "Wait, we have to go to Target, this one's 3 floors!" Isabella said.
"Why does a target need to be 3 floors?" Matteo asked as the rest of us laughed.
"They have lots of stuff, that's what makes it so fun!" She said, and she started to walk faster towards it.
Dominic grabbed my hand and smiled at me, "You're so cute," he mumbled.
"Gay ass.
The 5 of us made our way into Target and slowly started to look around
"Dad, I need this," Isabella said, holding up this fancy pack of pencils.
"Why?"
She held them closer to his face, "because I need pencils."
"You have pencils, though."
"But I want these."
"But you have pencils," Dominic repeated, looking at her funny.
She turned to me as I started laughing, "convince him."
"I'm with him on this one; you don't need those."
She rolled her eyes and put it back, "You guys fucking suck."
"Watch your language."
"My bad."
We continued to walk around the target.
"The clothes are so ugly here," I said, holding a weird shirt up and showing Dominic, "you'd look cute in that."
My face dropped, "Be so for real."
"I am."
I hung the ugly shirt back on the rack and grabbed Dominic's hand again.
"Where did Leo and Matteo go?" Dominic asked.
I looked around.
I pulled Dominic over to Isabella, who was looking around and had way too much stuff in her hands considering the fact that we had left her alone for not even five minutes, "Isabella."
"What?" She asked, turning around.
"Why do you have so much stuff?" Dominic asked.
"Not what we were going to ask. Do you know where Leo and Matteo are?"
Isabella smiled.
"Oh…do I wanna know?" I asked, and she started laughing.
"They wandered in a specific direction. A real…special one."
"Are they fucking in the target?" Dominic asked.
I pushed him, "Let them be happy."
"No," Dominic said, "they can't be happy on my dime!"
"Whatever, stupid," I said, letting go of his hand.
"Have you tried everything on?"
"No, I'm gonna do that right now. I'lll be back," Isabella said, walking over to the fitting room.
I turned around.
Dominic was standing there, lost in thought.
"What is wrong with you?"
Dominic started blinking, "Yeah, yeah. What did you say?"
"Nothing, come here," I said, and he slowly walked towards me.
I pulled him in for a hug, "What are you thinking about, cutie?"
"Nothing," he mumbled into my neck, "just zoning out over nothing."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not, I didn't want to interrupt your guys' moment," Dominic said, and he pulled back.
"You're not," I said and leaned on him as we awkwardly stood in the teenage girl section waiting for Isabella.
I felt a light hand hit my ass.
I gave him a side eye, "stop being weird."
"I'm sorry, I'm…" his voice faded out.
I looked up at him and then looked where he was looking, "looking who it fucking is, I'm gonna go kick Matteo," Dominic mumbled, and he quickly pulled away from me.
"Dominic," I said sternly, and he stopped and let out a sigh, "you are injured, come back."
I watched as he dragged his feet and walked back over to me. Then he rested his head on my shoulder.
"Did you guys have fun?" I called out to Matteo and Leo, "We weren't even doing anything, we were just looking at the rice cookers," he said, and Matteo held up a rice cooker.
"We already have one, why do we need another one?"
"Because this one's cuter," Leo said.
"I can pay for it," Matteo said.
"It's not a matter if I can pay for it or not. You know I can pay for it, it's the fact we don't need another one," Dominic said.
Leo sighed, "Fine."
"You're making me mad for no reason right now," Dominic mumbled, "okay, no rice cooker, whatever else y'all want, grab it, and then I'll meet all of you at the checkout." And I watched as he started walking.
I followed after him and then grabbed onto his hand as he walked, "I did not handle that very well."
"Well, I think you de-escalated okay. You did walk away, so we could work on that, but I think you did well," I said.
"Thank you, I will try harder next time and will work on my emotions."
After around 20 minutes, we had way too many target bags and continued going around the mall, popping in and out of stores.
I feel like I haven't been to the mall in so long. This is all so overwhelming, I don't know.
Dominic rubbed my shoulders as we stood in front of a store filled to the brim with vibrant dresses.
"Are you tired, baby?"
"So tired," I said, moving back and forth as he continued to rub my shoulders.
"Yeah, I don't know how Isabella does this all the time. I feel like I spent so much money at this stupid mall, but I don't remember ever going here, even when I was younger. But according to Isabella, they revamped this whole place, and she and her friends love this fucking place, and I don't understand it."
"It's because you're old. Malls go out of fashion after you are older than high school and maybe college. I feel like for college, it's a fun way to wind down, but after that, you are either taking your kids to the mall, or you're going shopping for Christmas, it just loses its charm," I said, and Dominic gave me a sign of him agreeing.
We continued walking, getting random freebies from different stores. And now I have way too much hand lotion.
"Hello!" A chipper voice.
"We don't need any more hand lotion," Dominic said, pushing me quickly.
"No, but look, it's like coupons for rings, we have to go in!"
"Are you two looking for a ring?" The girl said with a very excited voice.
I showed her my finger, "I already have one."
"From him?" The lady asked with a smile, and I nodded, hooking my arm under Dom's and pulling him in, "Yes, ma'am."
"Oh, how long have you two been married?"
"We aren't…"
I cut Dominic off, "10 years," I said with a smile. Dominic looked at me with his eyebrow raised.
"10 years, oh my god, that's so long, and you both look so young."
"They say happiness keeps you young," I said, leaning on Dominic, who I know was giving this lady a mortified look.
"Oh, whoa," the lady said, clapping and then she held my hand in her own, "and such a nice ring, are we looking to get it polished, revamped, or replaced?"
I shook my head, "No, I love my ring right now, actually," I said as she let go.
She smiled, "That's awesome. Well, I wish you guys many long years to come," she said, and I nodded, "Thank you so much."
The two of us walked away. "What is wrong with you?"
"What? I can't joke?" I asked, letting go of his arm and pushing him lightly.
"No, you can. I just know that lady went back in there and called someone on the phone, and now they are gonna try and find me now and take me to jail."
"You're stupid, she wasn't even thinking about it like that, she was just happy that a couple walked by and it wasn't just two random people that happened to be close together."
"I guess you're right," Dominic said.
"I tend to be," I said in a sing-song voice.
"You're so cute," Dominic said, and he nipped the side of my neck, "I te amo you."
"And our moment is now gone. Te amo literally means I love you, you don't need to say I and you."
"Oh."
"You are dumb," I said, and I kissed his cheek.
"Only for you, pretty baby," he said, grabbing me by my waist and holding me.
I felt myself smile embrassingly at him, "pretty baby is crazy," I said.
"But you are blushing," he sang.
"Because you are holding me like a fucking fool right now," I said, pushing his chest as he didn't let go.
I felt his hands rub up and down the sides of my hips.
"You need to cool it, we are in the mall," I said, holding his hands and trying to push them down.
"But I love you, lil mama," he said, whispering in my ear.
"You're gross, back up," I said.
"But I want you," he said, and I felt a swift hand grab my ass, "we should go…"
"Dad!" Dominic quickly got off me and stood next to me, like he had just gotten caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do.
"Hi, baby!"
"You are a weirdo. Can you hold this?" She asked and handed Dominic everything he was holding, "Be careful, he's still healing," I said.
"It's okay, I will carry anything for my baby," Dominic said with a smile.
I felt my heart skip a beat. God, he is so perfect. So perfect in this weird way.
I played with the ring on my finger. I love him so much. To the moon and back, if that's not too embarrassing or too cringe. He just makes me so happy.
No matter what he says, what he does, I feel happy even if I'm lecturing him, telling him to be careful, even if we are having sex, kissing, or I'm cooking for him, it all makes me so happy.
And that might be puppy love. A false haze that gives you this sense of hope for only a certain amount of time. But even then, seeing past all that, even though the nights, the anger, the fights, it may only get worse, but as long as it's him.
I know…I know I will be happy, beyond fucking happy, because it's him. Not just because it's "love" or a false sense of it. But because it's real love, and I feel it with him.
I smiled at him, trying to balance all of the things Isabella had handed to him.
Trying to be the best dad, the best person he can be in a world that really doesn't want him to.
In a world that wants him to be alone, be a crazy fucking killer, someone who isn't worthy of any kind of love.
He is trying, and really, that's all that matters.
And that's why I have found myself loving him so much in the past couple of weeks and months. He's caring in this weird way, he's loving, he's handsome, he's funny, and he's willing to change. To admit he is wrong, no matter how hard it hurts him, and that's why I love him so much.
Because he's him.
I kissed the side of his face. "I love you."
He smiled at me between the bags, "I love you too."
Because he's mine, that's why I love him. That's why I will love him until the end of time, because of how much he makes me wanna be better, how much he wants to be better. That's why I love him. I wanna have a real ring on my finger one day, a real wedding, a real dream everything, as long as he is here, I am not afraid to do anything. My Dominic, my big handsome man Dominic. He makes me wanna wake up every single day with a smile on my face, go back to school, and reach my fullest potential because I love him. Because I love myself. Because I'm ready to live every day like it's my last, never take anything for granted, get back into acting, do all the things I love, because I have him by my side. From now until forever.