After the meeting, I walked into my homeroom class taught by Sophie. Who was also the adviser for our school Bible Club. While in the classroom I felt small, like the walls were closing in around me. I sat down across from Braxton and Amanda, the two people who meant the most to me. I need them now more than ever.
You won't believe what Monica did today!" The words tumbled out before I could stop them, my voice cracking on the last word.
Amanda's head snapped up, her eyes instantly alert. "What happened?"
"She—" I had to stop, take a breath. My hands were shaking.
"She got Amelia to lie to the principal. Told him I started the fight with Tonya outside the cafeteria. And he believed her. He actually believed her over me."
"What?!" Amanda shot to her feet, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. Several students looked over, but she didn't care. "That's complete bull! You didn't start anything!"
Braxton hadn't moved, but his jaw was clenched tight, his hands balled into fists on the desk. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and dangerous in a way I'd never heard before. "Tell us exactly what happened. Everything."
So, I did. I told them about Tonya's threats, about standing up for myself, about Monica walking off and coming back with Amelia. About sitting in that office while Amelia painted Tonya as some kind of saint and me as the villain. About the principal's cold dismissal, his threat of suspension.
"And the worst part," I whispered, fighting back tears, "is that I'm the one being punished. Again. Just like with Chad, just like with Lucy, just like always. The truth doesn't matter. My voice doesn't matter. I'm just… nothing."
"Hey." Braxton reached across the aisle, his hand covering mine. "Don't say that. You're not nothing."
Amanda dropped back into her seat, leaning in close. "Gabby, listen to me. You're not nothing. You're one of the strongest people I know. Look at everything you've been through; losing your dad, all that drama with those jerks, and you're still here. Still standing."
"Barely," I muttered.
As we talked Joshua Calvary a student from the Bible Club chimed in the conversation.
"But you are," Braxton insisted quietly. "That counts for something."
Amanda's expression shifted, that familiar fire sparking in her eyes. "You know what? We should go to the principal ourselves. Tell him what really happened. Braxton and I can back you up."
"Talking with the principal might help your situation," he explained.
"It won't matter," I said, my voice flat. "He's already made up his mind. Tonya's the golden girl. I'm just… me."
"Then we tell your mom," Braxton suggested.
"She'll raise hell."
"And get me in more trouble? No. I can't." I pulled my hand away, wrapping my arms around myself.
"You can't let fear control you like this Gabriana," he continued.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)
"You guys don't understand. I'm so tired of being powerless. So tired of watching bad people win while I'm supposed to just… what? Turn the other cheek? Be patient? Be kind?" The bitterness in my voice surprised even me.
Amanda and Braxton exchanged a worried look.
"Gabriana—" Amanda started.
"What if I just fought back?" The words came out before I could stop them. "What if I stopped trying to be a good Christian girl and just… I don't know. Make them see me for once."
"That's not you," Braxton said firmly. "Don't let them turn you into something you're not."
"Maybe it IS me," I shot back. "Maybe I've just been pretending this whole time. Being the good Christian girl, the patient one, the one who forgives. And where has that gotten me? Nowhere. Invisible. Powerless."
As Joshua started reading from Matthew 5:2-12:
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The Beatitudes
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
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"You're not invisible to us," Amanda said softly, and I could see genuine worry in her eyes now.
"Gabby, I know you're hurting. After Chad, after everything. But don't do something stupid because you're angry."
"If you want, we could take care of Monica for you," Amanda offered, though her tone had shifted; less aggressive, more protective. "Not like, fight her. But we could talk to her. Make her back off."
I wanted to say yes. I wanted them to fix this for me. But a darker part of me wanted to fix it myself. With my fists if I had to.
"I appreciate everything and you too Joshua for your kind words, but I don't want anyone to get into trouble because of me. You mean the world to me." I forced a smile that didn't reach my eyes. "I'll be fine. Really."
Braxton looked like he wanted to argue, but the morning announcements crackled to life, cutting off whatever he was going to say.
As the principal's voice filled the classroom, Amanda leaned over and whispered, "We're here, okay? Whatever happens. Don't forget that."
As Joshua returned to his seat with his Bible in hand. After they left I could already feel myself pulling away, slipping into a darker place where their kindness couldn't quite reach. A place where Mom's teachings about turning the other cheek felt like weakness, and the memory of Sunday's sermon felt distant and irrelevant.
A place where Legion's offer of power didn't seem quite so terrible.
We shared a quiet moment before the morning announcements came on. That was the end of that conversation, or at least that is what I had hoped.
When it was over, I made my way to first-period math with Ms. Marabell, but I might as well have been walking through fog. I couldn't focus. The numbers on the board blurred together, meaningless symbols that had nothing to do with the chaos in my head.
I kept replaying the principal's words. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say." As if my truth didn't matter. As if I didn't matter.
My eyes drifted to the clock. 9:47 AM. Three hours until lunch. Three hours until Monica would inevitably come for me.
Because she would. I knew she would. This wasn't over. It would never be over with the Malone sisters.
"Gabriana, can you solve for X?" Ms. Marabell's voice cut through my thoughts.
I blinked at the equation on the board. I hadn't heard a word she'd said. "I… I don't know."
"Pay attention, please." She moved on to another student.
But I couldn't pay attention. All I could think about was Monica's smirk as she walked away with Amelia. The way she'd set me up, knowing I'd get punished. The injustice of it burned in my chest like acid.
10:23 AM. Two hours and change. My stomach churned.
I tried to remember what Mom would say. Something about vengeance belonging to the Lord. Something about turning the other cheek. But all I could think was: I've already turned the other cheek. I've been turning it my whole life. And look where that's gotten me.
11:15 AM. Forty-five minutes.
The girl next to me asked to borrow a pencil. I handed it to her. Around me, people were living their normal lives, worried about homework and who was dating who and what they'd have for lunch. Meanwhile, I was counting down to an inevitable confrontation like it was an execution.
Maybe it was.