For a moment, His Majesty paused and looked at me with a frown, but his frown soon faded as he signalled to the knight to close the door, leaving only the two of us in the room.
"It's all right… 'You can hold your head high, son,' he said with a sigh.
But I am fundamentally disturbed by this visit of his; not for any particular reason, but did I not say so?
Just as the aura imposes the presence of His Majesty, it does the same with me.
Although I deny that the information in the records belongs to me as memories, a part of my mind acknowledges all those experiences.
That is why I am the madman in the records who has taken millions of lives and destroyed an entire continent. I can feel it in my very being, and my innate aura is a deep red, filled with the intent to kill. Although I try to restrain it, it seems of no consequence in the presence of one of the greatest warriors on the continent
He sat on the sofa beside my bed and, for a moment, sat watching me without speaking, and I did not break the silence either... so when the silence dragged on, His Majesty finally broke it
"You seem to be in a miserable state."
"I offer my apologies to Your Majesty..."
"I did not ask for your apology… You may calm down… If you continue this internal struggle, your condition will worsen."
I looked at him, an involuntary frown forming between my eyebrows. Does he want me to let my kill intent run wild without restraint?
Is this a trap? But why would he do that?
I'm sure he already knows, at least in part, about that innate aura of mine, which was certainly beyond my control whilst I was asleep. But you must understand: that was whilst I was asleep. Now, if I let it go, this kill intent will engulf the entire palace. Even in my madness, when that woman entered, I unleashed only a fraction of that aura and that kill intent...
And that was instinctive, because I know full well and understand which mad presence I'm suppressing within myself.
If I let it go, even if I behaved perfectly without the slightest mistake, I don't think I could avoid scrutiny and judgement.
"I'm fine, Your Majesty…"
"...."
"...."
Silence fell once more...
Well, this is a bit awkward. The atmosphere seems tense. Why did he come in the first place if he had nothing to talk to me about?
So when I saw he had nothing to say, I plucked up the courage to ask, because this is what had been troubling me since I woke up
"Excuse me, Your Majesty..."
"Yes, son?"
"About my power... can the seal be removed? It's not beyond my control; I can control it... I attacked that woman... but I didn't really want to kill her... I was just taken by surprise... and... because she was a new face..."
"..."
Why is he silent? I've said what I had to say and offered my explanations cautiously, but… wait… why does he look so grim? Have I made a mistake?
"Which woman?"
He asked me… and I froze…
I felt panic taking hold of my mind… Sure, that woman was suspicious, but hang on... did no one else see her but me?
I looked at the surveillance arrays filling my room; I could recognise them and see they were working properly, when my eyes fell on my doppelgänger standing in the corner of the room with a strange smile on his face...
Our eyes met
My breathing grew heavier... Was it his doing?
"Eckehard"
Was it just an illusion?
But didn't they see me attack her or shout at her? Will they think I'm mad, seeing people who aren't there?...
My chest began to tighten, my breathing quickened, and my heartbeat raced madly; I felt cold sweat drenching my body
"Eckehard"
A ringing filled my ears and my vision became blurry for some reason...
Wrong...
"Eckehard..."
A huge mistake...
I looked at His Majesty, who was now standing there, looking at me with concern, his hands on my shoulders.
He seemed to be saying something I didn't understand...
Is that really His Majesty?... Or is it another illusion...
Did I really escape from that villa?
Perhaps I'm under the influence of one of their experiments?
Perhaps I'm in a mental asylum now and imagining everything?
A haze clouded my vision... and just as I felt myself cut off from the world, a doppelgänger spoke
"Isn't the answer simple?"
I raised my head and looked at him, agitated
"Kill them... whoever is causing you this confusion... Just destroy everything, and you'll find the answer."
Right… that's it… I just have to… Wait, stop…
Wrong…
Don't listen to him, Eckehard…
I won't kill without understanding…
I won't be nothing again…
I... am... Eckehard Khaos von Grünewald Ehrenfeld... Crown Prince of the Hagelmark Nordreich Empire...
Lesson One... Before acting, a prince must review... analyse... study... judge with reason... then act.
Lesson Two: A prince must not be reckless... If you are not certain... take a step back; the difference between courage and foolishness is recklessness; the difference between wisdom and ignorance is a lack of understanding.
Lesson Three
Calm down...
Calm down...
Panic will solve nothing...
Calm down... even if the situation worsens, judge with reason...
We are not monsters...
I restrained myself from giving free rein to my madness... I raised my head and looked at the Emperor, who had already stepped back, whilst several people stood there with serious expressions on their faces, and one of them was trying to communicate with me
Let's calm down first...
This panic won't solve anything... Even if that woman isn't real, I can claim I had a nightmare.... Right... I must first understand where I am...
If I'm in the Villa, all I have to do is kill them again... If I'm in the asylum, I'll escape again... If I'm in the imperial palace... I need to calm down...
I closed my eyes and fought against the sedatives I'd been injected with
I need to figure out what's real and what's fake... What are these damn memories... and... where am I...
But even as I tried, my consciousness slipped into darkness...