I have a box full of letters under my bed, tightly fit inside a box, hidden from sight, so that I never think about them again, in case I get overexcited and spoil the surprise. Each of those letters contain all the words that I ever wanted to tell you, confessions, jokes that I thought would make you laugh so much that you would fall for me all over again, pick up lines that I wanted to try on you, places I wanted to visit with you, activities that I wanted for us to do together when you came back from your service.
I wrote a letter daily for 365 days, ever since your birthday last year, and have been saving them, to surprise you this year on your birthday when you finally come back from your military service. And, another surprise is that I got a promotion 3 months ago, and a big bonus, so I took out a loan and bought a cafe for you. I know very well that you had to go to the military only because you had no other choice after high school, considering your family's financial condition.
But now that we're financially stable, I can't let you slog in the military anymore. Not when the number of times I see you in a year can be counted on one hand. And each time I meet you, you look more and more weary and aged than the previous time. There doesn't go a single day when I don't pray for your happiness, health and safety wherever you might be.
We're technically high school sweethearts, met in high school Business class, fell for each other, and dated and got married. We are perfect for each other. So, of all people, I know how much you always wanted to run a cafe, instead of being in the military. So I bought it, so that now, finally, you can leave the military for good, and we can stay together, and maybe in future, when things get even better, we can maybe start a family…
So, tell me why is that today, right one day before your birthday, I'm getting a visit from your fellow colleague, with a letter in my hand, that is saying you're no more.
Am I… Am I dreaming? Am I reading this right? Why do I think it says you won't come back anymore? I can feel my head spinning out of control. What is happening?
Why is your colleague telling me that you died with honor, that you died for our country, the ultimate possible sacrifice as a complete patriot? That it was an honor. I don't understand.
It.. It doesn't seem right. What will the country gain from your death? Why will the country desire to separate you from me? What did it gain from taking you away to god so early? Away from me? Leaving me all alone here. What the hell did the country gain?
I don't care. I don't care what the country gained from your sacrifice. It doesn't matter to me, you matter to me. Come back to me, Adam. You've always told me that you love me the most in this whole wide world, so come back to me, Adam, please. Whatever the country wants, whatever it desires, whatever its orders might be, defy it, for me. Please defy it and come back to me.
There is nothing in this world that would matter to me if the world didn't have you in it.
So, please, tell me truthfully, where are you, Adam? Please tell me, I beg you, tell me that this is all a joke. And you're playing some kind of cruel prank on me. I won't get angry, I promise, I won't get angry with you. Please just come back. Come back to me.
I'll treat you really well, I will love you a thousand times more than I already do, so please, please, my dear love, come back. Come back to me. I beg of you, my dear.
Don't go leaving me all alone here.
I will do anything for you to come back. So please, just come back to me.