Hibiki Naegi wanted to explain, but just as the words were about to leave her mouth, it felt as though something had lodged in her throat, leaving her unsure of how to begin.
The kitchen was quiet. The only sound came from Seiko Kirigiri, who stood with her back to Hibiki, cooking at the stove.
It was as though all that silence was waiting for Hibiki Naegi to speak.
A long, long time passed...
"This afternoon, after school, I left the school with... Kanagawa-sensei."
After struggling with herself internally, Hibiki Naegi ultimately decided to tell the truth.
She had no intention of hiding anything.
Clatter!
The spatula in Seiko Kirigiri's hand suddenly fell to the floor. The sound echoed throughout the entire kitchen, causing Hibiki Naegi's heartbeat to instinctively quicken.
Another long silence followed. Seiko Kirigiri never said anything, and Hibiki Naegi did not know how to continue either.
She did not want to hide anything else from Seiko Kirigiri. It was simply that she had always lacked the courage to confess everything to her. Now that she had finally managed to summon that courage, the sound of the spatula hitting the floor had devoured a large portion of it again.
After a while, Seiko Kirigiri slowly crouched down, picked up the spatula from the floor, casually tossed it into the sink, then took a new one from the utensil rack and continued cooking.
"Did she invite you, or did you go with her on your own initiative?"
Seiko Kirigiri spoke slowly. She still had her back to Hibiki Naegi and did not turn around.
"She invited me, but I suppose you could also say I went willingly..." Hibiki Naegi forced herself to answer truthfully.
It was merely a matter of honestly saying one sentence, yet it placed such enormous pressure on her heart. Hibiki Naegi suddenly understood a little better why some people in this world habitually lied. Perhaps deep down, they did not truly want to deceive the other person. It was simply that telling the truth sometimes made things troublesome, so they chose to lie instead.
Hibiki Naegi also knew very well that if she lied to Seiko Kirigiri, she herself might feel a little more comfortable, and Seiko Kirigiri would probably feel better too, right?
Hibiki Naegi was not stupid. From the several conversations she had shared with Seiko Kirigiri since returning home, she had already more or less realized that Seiko did not want her to have too much contact with Eiren Kanagawa.
Ever since they were little, whenever Seiko Kirigiri asked something of her, Hibiki Naegi, as her sister, had always done everything she possibly could to satisfy her, and Hibiki herself had always enjoyed doing so.
But this time...
If Seiko Kirigiri truly asked her to "keep her distance from Eiren Kanagawa," Hibiki Naegi knew very clearly that she absolutely would not agree. Even if it meant arguing with Seiko Kirigiri until a crack appeared in their relationship, Hibiki still would not distance herself from Eiren Kanagawa.
I only have one chance, Hibiki Naegi repeatedly told herself.
If someone as talentless as her wanted to pass the art entrance examination and enter Kyoto University, the only person she could rely on was Eiren Kanagawa!
She wanted a good job. She wanted financial security. She wanted the confidence to confess the relationship between herself and Seiko to their parents. She wanted to give Seiko a wonderful future... Every dream Hibiki Naegi had depended on getting into a prestigious university as its foundation.
If she could not get into a prestigious university, then the future she shared with Seiko would undoubtedly be extremely difficult.
If Hibiki Naegi were the only one who had to suffer, she believed she could endure it. But if Seiko Kirigiri had to suffer alongside her, Hibiki could never accept that. She did not want Seiko to endure even the slightest grievance or setback. She wanted to give Seiko a wonderful life in the future.
If she could not give Seiko a wonderful future... Hibiki Naegi would rather end this twisted love between them, a love destined never to be accepted by society and destined never to receive anyone's blessing.
Thinking of this, Hibiki Naegi lightly gritted her teeth and suddenly declared in a heavy, raised voice:
"Yes, that's right! I went willingly! Even though I knew perfectly well about the promise I made with you this morning, I still got into Kanagawa-sensei's car! That's exactly what happened. I don't want to lie to you!"
Faced with Hibiki Naegi's shouted words, Seiko Kirigiri was first stunned, then felt a sharp pain tear through her heart. Her body trembled uncontrollably and swayed slightly as she turned around with some difficulty, her eyes misted with tears as she looked at Hibiki Naegi.
At some point, Seiko Kirigiri had begun to feel that her sister's embrace was no longer warm, and that the distance between herself and her sister was slowly growing farther and farther apart.
Countless grievances, endless anger, and waves of hysteria flooded Seiko Kirigiri's heart at this moment. There were so many things she wanted to ask Hibiki Naegi, yet she did not even know which question she should ask first.
In the very end, Seiko Kirigiri spoke just three words in a hoarse voice, her tone as bleak as cold ashes:
"Why did you?"
Faced with Seiko Kirigiri's heartbroken question, Hibiki Naegi first felt a stab of pain in her chest, but this time, she did not choose to run away. Instead, she abruptly stood up, walked in front of Seiko Kirigiri, and said word by word:
"Why? Everything I'm doing is for you!"
"For me? For me, you have to get this close to another woman? For me, you have to hurt me over and over again like this?"
Seiko Kirigiri shot back. Overcome with emotion, the tears she had stubbornly kept trapped in her eyes finally slid down her cheeks.
"I don't want to hurt you either! I know you don't like me getting too close to other women, so the previous few times I contacted Kanagawa-sensei, I didn't dare tell you. But you still noticed that something was wrong, and that created disagreements between us.
"I originally wanted to find a chance for us to make up, but today I ended up spending time with Kanagawa-sensei again. Rather than keep lying and keep letting you notice that something's wrong, I might as well tell you the truth right now and lay everything out clearly. I don't want the two of us to keep acting awkward around each other like this!"
Perhaps provoked by Seiko Kirigiri's tears, Hibiki Naegi poured out everything she had been wanting to say in one breath.
And because she had said it all so directly, Seiko Kirigiri herself could barely process it for a moment.
But Hibiki Naegi had no intention of giving Seiko Kirigiri time to digest or understand it. She only wanted to get everything inside her heart out as quickly as possible, afraid that if she waited too long, she would forget what she wanted to say.
"Seiko, you know perfectly well what kind of relationship we have. Right now, while we're secretly together, there might not be any obstacles. But sooner or later, we'll have to face Mom and Dad. Sooner or later, we'll have to confess everything to our parents. When that happens, will they agree or oppose us?
"There's absolutely no way for us to know right now. We can't predict the future.
"You're in your first year of high school now, and I'm in my second. In another year, I'll have to start seriously considering what to do after graduation. Should I start working immediately after high school, or should I continue on to university? Given our family's finances, paying for university wouldn't be difficult.
"But the problem is that while I can't exactly say my grades are terrible, I'm definitely not an honor student either. I'm only average. When I'm lucky, I'm somewhere near the top of the middle. When I'm unlucky, I'm near the bottom. Getting into a prestigious university through the ordinary entrance examinations would be practically impossible for me!
"This isn't a matter of whether I work hard enough. Even if I start studying desperately right now and keep it up until I graduate in my third year, the most I could probably do is improve from 'able to get into an average university' to 'if I'm lucky, able to get into a fairly good university.'
"But forget whether I'll be lucky during the entrance examinations. Even if I really do get into a good university, there's still a difference between universities. Do you know how high the academic requirements are when you're looking for a job these days?
"For some positions, if your academic credentials don't meet the requirements, forget making it to the final interview. You won't even qualify for the first interview.
"In Japan, once you join a company, even if you're dissatisfied with the salary, benefits, or the work itself, you can't simply resign. Because once you quit voluntarily, that resignation becomes a stain on your employment history and an obstacle whenever you look for another job. At that point, I'll only be able to keep doing work I hate while earning a mediocre salary and working overtime every single day.
"If I were the only person who had to live that kind of life, then fine. Worst case, if I truly couldn't endure it anymore, I could just jump off a station platform.
"But what about you? You always say that after you graduate from university, you'll live together with me. If my income isn't enough to support both of us, will we even be able to live together?
"Then you'll have to work too. If you can find a good job, that's one thing. But what if you can't? Every day, both of us will have to work overtime until late at night. Even when we finally return home from our companies, we won't have the energy to enjoy our life together.
"We'll only want to finish dinner quickly and go to sleep as soon as possible, because we'll have to wake up early the next morning, take the train to work, and face another mountain of unfinished tasks.
"No matter how deep our feelings for each other are, eventually they'll probably be worn away and diluted by all the trivial burdens of everyday life.
"I absolutely don't want a life like that...
"That's why I want to rely on Kanagawa-sensei's help, take the art entrance examination route, and get into the fine arts department of a prestigious university. Only then will I have better credentials and be able to choose a better, easier job.
"If I'm lucky, I might even be able to choose freelance work in something like design. Then I could stay at home every day while still guaranteeing a monthly income. Neither of us would be chained down by job pressure and the trivial burdens of daily life. When we have time, we could even go on vacations and enjoy ourselves.
"As long as I can get into a prestigious university, as long as I can get a good job, then when we eventually confess everything to Mom and Dad, I'll have far more confidence. Even if Mom and Dad don't approve, I'll still have the confidence to make you happy..."
By the time she reached this point, Hibiki Naegi collapsed weakly onto the floor and tightly clutched her own hair. She had endured far too much pressure during this period.
"Seiko... I really, really want us to have a happy future together.
"That's why I absolutely have to get into a prestigious university. Kanagawa-sensei is willing to tutor me without charging me a single yen. She's my only chance to get into a prestigious university. She's my lifeline! No matter what price I have to pay, I'll hold onto that lifeline with everything I have!
"I know you're unhappy about it. I know you don't want me getting too close to other women. But even if I have to kneel and beg you, please... endure it a little longer. I'll keep enduring too. As long as we endure and persevere until I get into a prestigious university, everything will go back to normal. Our future together will definitely be happy!"
By the end, Hibiki Naegi's voice had even taken on a trace of mania. Every single word Eiren Kanagawa had ever said to her echoed endlessly inside her mind.
I can help you get into the prestigious university you've always dreamed of, as long as you obediently listen to me and do exactly what I tell you.
Guided by those words, the obsession inside Hibiki Naegi's heart grew deeper and deeper...
"Onee-chan..."
Seiko Kirigiri lowered her head and looked at her sister sitting on the floor. At this moment, all the anger and grievance inside her vanished. Now, she only felt that her sister looked terribly pitiful.
Seiko Kirigiri saw Hibiki Naegi's shoulders trembling faintly, as though two enormous invisible boulders were pressing mercilessly down upon them.
Seiko Kirigiri turned off the flame on the stove, set the spatula aside, then knelt down in front of Hibiki Naegi. She reached out with both arms and pulled Hibiki tightly into her embrace, speaking through choked sobs:
"Onee-chan, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd been thinking about so many things, and I didn't know you'd been carrying this much pressure all along. Have I been too selfish?"
Hibiki Naegi shook her head and hugged Seiko Kirigiri back:
"It's not your fault. It's mine. I should've explained everything to you sooner. In the end, this all started because I hid things from you and deceived you."
"But you've been carrying so much pressure, Onee-chan, and I never tried to understand you at all before. I'm responsible too. I'm sorry, Onee-chan."
Seiko Kirigiri apologized once again. Seeing Hibiki Naegi pour out everything she had kept buried inside had hurt Seiko deeply.
Hibiki Naegi did not want Seiko Kirigiri to suffer even the slightest grievance. How could Seiko Kirigiri possibly feel any differently?
Now that everything had been laid out in the open, although the distance that had grown between Hibiki Naegi and Seiko Kirigiri did not disappear instantly, they were quietly beginning to draw closer once again.
Ultimately, it was a good thing.
After a while, Seiko Kirigiri helped Hibiki Naegi to her feet and said gently:
"Onee-chan, from now on, no matter what happens, we have to tell each other the truth. We can't lie, and we can't hide anything from each other. Whatever difficulties or pressure we face, we'll shoulder them together."
"Okay. I'll listen to you. I absolutely won't tell you another lie." Hibiki Naegi nodded and promised.
After receiving Hibiki Naegi's promise, Seiko Kirigiri smiled happily. Then she wiped the tears from her cheeks and said with a light smile:
"All right, Onee-chan. Hurry and wash your face so we can eat. There's only one last dish left for dinner."
"Ah, okay."
Hibiki Naegi nodded. Looking at the lavish dinner Seiko Kirigiri had prepared, she hesitated for a moment over whether she should tell Seiko that she had already eaten dinner with Eiren Kanagawa.
Earlier, Hibiki Naegi had only told Seiko Kirigiri that she had left school with Eiren Kanagawa for tutoring. She had not mentioned that the tutoring had taken place in a restaurant while they ate.
Forget it. I won't tell her after all... Hibiki Naegi thought as she turned around, preparing to go to the bathroom and wash her face.
"Onee-chan."
Just as Hibiki Naegi was about to leave the kitchen, Seiko Kirigiri, who had her back to Hibiki while cooking, suddenly spoke:
"Are you hungry? Kanagawa-sensei tutored you all the way until now, so she must've mentioned taking you out to eat, right?"
Faced with Seiko Kirigiri's sudden question, Hibiki Naegi froze for a moment before instinctively answering:
"N-No. Kanagawa-sensei did take me to a restaurant for the tutoring, but she only ordered food for herself. I just drank a few glasses of lemon water. She did offer to buy me something, but I refused."
"Oh, I see. Then you must be starving right now, Onee-chan, right?"
"Yeah. I'm so hungry my stomach feels like it's about to cave in."
After saying that, Hibiki Naegi even forced out a few dry laughs to make her words sound more convincing.
After hearing this, Seiko Kirigiri did not say anything more. She simply nodded and said with a light smile:
"Then hurry and wash your face, Onee-chan. Once you're done, we can eat. Everything I made for dinner today is something you like, so make sure you eat plenty."
"O-Okay..."
Hibiki Naegi nodded somewhat stiffly. Looking at the lavish spread covering the table, Hibiki Naegi, who was already completely full, could not summon much appetite no matter how hard she tried.
I'll just have to force myself to eat as much as I can. I can't let Seiko's efforts go to waste... Hibiki Naegi thought.
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