"My disciple is not on trial here!" Tsunade said hotly. "The internal matters of the Hidden Leaf are none of your business!"
"Shall we put it to a vote, then?" Ōnoki proposed. "A show of hands."
Sakura listened to the rustle of robes as the five Kage raised hands or held their peace, her heart hammering in her chest. As expected, the discourse had turned against the Leaf… but they'd prepared for this.
"The Hokage's guard in question," Mifune stated. "Step forward and stand behind the Lady Hokage."
Taking a deep breath, Sakura stepped out from behind the fire banner, and she gazed at the attending Kage… A, the Fourth Raikage, Ōnoki the Third Tsuchikage, Lady Tsunade the Fifth Hokage, Pakura the Sixth Kazekage, Zabuza the Fifth Mizukage… wait.
Twenty years on, Pakura still looked incredible— certainly better than she would've six feet under. Sakura fought to keep her face neutral. Pakura was supposed to be dead, killed in the plot after Rasa became the Fourth Kazekage.
How was she here?
The answer was simple enough: twenty years ago, Sakura had spooked the Hidden Sand by revealing that the Leaf possessed a Wood Style user on par with the First Hokage, someone capable of bringing the forest to the desert. Not everyone in Pakura's unit was a loyalist; Rasa's spies reported that Pakura's Scorch Style techniques seemed particularly effective against the Leaf's secret weapon. Rasa, reluctant but pragmatic, had decided to spare her life just in case and exile her instead, sending her to the outskirts where she couldn't pursue her ambitions. It was only recently, after the purge of the Kazekage bloodline, that she returned and overthrew the architects of the original coup d'état.
"Uncanny," Pakura breathed. "I've seen Miss Sakura's picture in our bingo books, but seeing her in person… she truly is her mother's spitting image."
"What?" Tsunade said, caught off guard.
Of all the accusations Tsunade had been bracing herself to answer, Sakura being likened looks-wise to her mother Mebuki hadn't been one. They had the same green eyes and similar facial features… but their passing resemblance was not sufficient to give another village's leader such a knee-jerk reaction. Did the Hero of the Hidden Sand and Mebuki have some shared past, she wondered? But Mebuki wasn't even a kunoichi, so how and when would they even have met…?
"Who cares if the girl looks like her mother!?" A roared. He pounded the table with his fist, sending the five Kage hats placed on it leaping a few centimetres into the air. "What I want to know is why she's never been properly punished after she and her companions invaded Kumogakure three years ago, violating the peace we've all fought to keep!"
Ōnoki chuckled to himself. Even after all these years, it never stopped being funny— the Raikage himself outwitted by a handful of snot-nosed rookies barely out of the Academy, and the Hyūga princess snatched from under the Cloud's collective noses!
"The nerve of you!" Tsunade shouted, slamming her palm on the table. "That was only in response to your kidnapping of the Hyūga Hinata! How shameless can you get, Raikage!?"
"Let us not forget the girl was sent to Hōzuki Castle under pressure from all our nations," Ōnoki pointed out slyly. "Where she would have stayed, had Kumo not invaded Kusagakure to steal their treasure, the Box of Ultimate Bliss… I would not blame the Lady Hokage for choosing to keep her out of prison, considering the threat the world faced next… the Hiruko affair…"
A shot him a murderous look. "Why, you doddering old shipwreck of a…"
Ōnoki sneered at him.
"I'm not finished yet," he went on, turning his gaze towards Sakura. "That being said, what I cannot forgive is the blatant theft of Iwagakure's state secrets… that is, my granddaughter's Lava Style Kekkei Genkai!"
"It's true!" Kurotsuchi shouted, bursting out from behind the Earth banner and pointing an accusatory finger at Sakura. "She stole my breasts!*"
(*See chapter 329 Yomi… Kaeru, the conclusion of the Mōryō arc.)
"ORDER!" called Mifune. "Tsuchikage, restrain your guard!"
"We investigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing on our part," Tsunade countered. "That was Orochimaru's doing— and the clone he'd cultivated from my disciple's cells!"
"How convenient," Pakura said aggressively. "Whenever something bad happens, your rogue Sannin always seems ready to take the blame!"
Mifune looked left and right, as what should have been civil discourse among equals devolved into a contest of who could scream loudest. He rose, arms raised high for silence, and after a moment, the shouting died down.
"This is not a productive avenue of discussion," Mifune said. "You Kage gathered here for solutions, not to lay blame— have you not?"
"You want peace?" A growled. "Then twist off the girl's head, right here and now, Hokage— in front of all our eyes— and then I'll be satisfied, and I might be willing to discuss an alliance against the Akatsuki."
Tsunade's fingers clenched the table so hard splinters flew. She rose to her feet, eyes blazing as she stared down the Raikage.
"The Leaf shed enough innocent blood to sate the Cloud's bloodthirst during the first Hyūga Affair," she hissed. "We're done sacrificing our own to appease you, because it clearly doesn't work!"
For a country to sacrifice its military to placate its neighbours is the height of folly; while the pursuit of arms may well inflame tensions, disarmament is little more than an open invitation to invasion. Of all the misguided choices the Third Hokage had ever made, none was more foolish than the sacrifice of Hyūga Hizashi to appease the Cloud.
"Manyū Sakura, Orochimaru, Hiruko— how telling that the only three shinobi in history to master Kekkei Genkai‑stealing arts all hailed from Konoha, missing‑nin or not," Zabuza observed, his voice cutting cold and clear through the din. "In the interest of balance, the Hidden Mist would be willing to entertain the idea of an alliance— on the condition of a political marriage between Hōzuki Mangetsu, young master of the distinguished Hōzuki clan, and Miss Sakura… or, failing that, a full disclosure of knowledge regarding Hiruko's ascension ritual."
Despite the purges, the Land of Water was still a country where Kekkei Genkai abounded. Vapour Style, (Uzumaki's) Dark Style, Lava Style, Mud Style, Shikotsumyaku, Typhoon Style, (Ranmaru's) Ketsuryūgan Dōjutsu, Ice Style… meaning that even if Kiri-nin didn't leave their isolationist country and pick fight with others, they'd still have plenty of Kekkei Genkai at their disposal to create a monster, if only they had Kekkei Genkai integration capabilities or technology…
"Out of the question," Tsunade snapped. "Who Sakura chooses to love is her affair and hers alone. As for Hiruko's technique, it's a kinjutsu born of evil, which drains the lives of others to feed its user's strength. To share it amongst the Five Villages would invite nothing but chaos. A shinobi ought to die on the battlefield or in their bed of old age— never on a cross."
Once again, the discussion reached an impasse; on these two matters, neither Tsunade nor any of the other Kage would yield.
"The power to steal women's breasts… that was the Munamori clan's talent, wasn't it? Yet the girl calls herself a Manyū, and she uses their breast-cleaving talent…" Ōnoki muttered pensively, as the Kage Summit once more dissolved into pandemonium around him. "Who would have thought the mingling of the Manyū and Munamori bloodlines could yield such a formidable descendant? Two clans dismissed by all as useless, fit only for espionage and warming beds…"
Had he known such potential lay hidden in their bloodlines, he might have taken a few as concubines; but alas, the Munamori clan was as extinct as the Hagoromo, and the surviving Manyū had long since taken root in the Leaf.
"Haah, how nostalgic," Ōnoki sighed. "The taste of a Manyū kunoichi ain't bad… too bad I'll never get to enjoy it again."
If he tried, he'd most likely wake the next morning with a kunai between his ribs from the assassination itself, a shattered pelvis from all that vigorous pounding, and his ageing heart stopped from sheer exertion!