Eloise couldn't hear anything but the ringing in her ears.
Dead or alive.
Dead or alive.
Dead or alive.
She read it over and over again, until the words started bleeding together into a
meaningless blur, until her heart pounded in her throat.
What did this mean? What did any of it mean?
The letter crumpled at the edges where she unintentionally gripped too hard.
Ellie.
No one had called her that since…
Well, since her father had died. Eloise's eyes started to burn with tears. It was all too
much. She knew these files like the back of her hand with how much she looked
through them and kept them safe.
This couldn't have come from- Eloise slammed the letter, writing side down, onto her
desk. The rattling of the things on the desk couldn't penetrate what was now a roaring in
her head.
Her hands shook at her sides. She could barely breathe.
Confused and tired and sad but most of all, Eloise just felt devastatingly, viscerally
alone. The emptiness of the house started to press down on her. She sank to the floor
and hugged her knees to her chest, just as she did when she was a child curled up in
her bed, as her dad checked under her bed for monsters.
He then used to give her a warm smile, and tell her, "You're all safe, Ellie."
Her eyes drifted back up to her desk where the letter rested; a piece of paper enough to
send an accomplished, headstrong woman spiraling back into a terrified child.
Maybe it IS dad.
She let her eyes close, the roaring in her head threatening to consumeher. Maybe he...
A bright doorbell pierced through her panic-stricken stupor, snapping her back to reality.
Taking support from her desk, she heaved herself to her feet on knees that still shook.
She had to blink several times to return back to the world again, and pointedly did not
cast her gaze near where she knew the letter rested. Haphazardly wiping her eyes, she
made her way downstairs.
By the time she got to the door, the thrashing beast in her chest had subsided enough
for her to look and act like a normal person, thought Eloise. She cleared her throat and swung her
front door open.
"Hey- whoa, Eloise. Tough night?"
Stefan stood in the doorway, squinting against the morning sunlight. Okay, maybe I didn't look all THAT normal yet, thought Eloise again.
"Oh, uhm," she averted her gaze from Stefan, "I just drank a bit when I got back homelast night and then stayed up late working, so…. what brings you here?"
The sudden question startled Stefan, before he regained his composure and chuckled awkwardly.
"You just left this at mom's house last night." he handed over her cream-coloured blazer. "Oh! and these cookies as well, she thought you might like them, she asked me to drop these things off on my way to the airport" handed stefan the jar over to her with a smile.
"Thank you- and hey, the airport?" Eloise furrowed her brows. "Where are you off to?"
"Just New York, I have some business to take care of." he shrugged nonchalantly.
"Figured I might as well say goodbye this time - mom's already mad I'm taking a several month long trip again."
Eloise managed a dry smile at that; "Yeah, I imagine auntie would be more pissed if you
disappeared off the face of the earth again."
Two beats of comfortable laughter passed between them, then Stefan nodded
"Well, goodbye Eloise. Take care of yourself, yeah?"
Eloise's hand tightened on the doorframe, and she tried her best to not let her feelings
show on her face.Her family had already faced enough of this. She didn't need Stefan to know somethingwas wrong.
"Yeah, I will." Eloise nodded back.
As she watched Stefan's retreating figure, the pit of apprehension in her chest started to
rise again. She swiftly closed the door.
Being alone really wouldn't do her well right now. Eloise took several deep, placating
breaths. If not her family, she could count on Sebastian.
=========================================================
Eloise arrived at the office with her head still in a daze from the unwelcome letter.
With a quick scan of the room, she confirmed that nothing was out of place. The files
were in order, the desk spic and span, and most importantly, the daily help had placed a
warm cup of coffee at her desk.
Taking a sip from her morning coffee, she almost reflexively took out her father's file and
began to peruse it. All of a sudden, bad memories invaded her, as she skimmed through
the contents. Red herrings, camera footage, all leading to nothing.
She took out the letter from her bag, pondered over the last lines of the letter; "You'll
always be the reason for my betterment."
"Could… could it really be him?" she murmured to herself. Her dad always used to say
that.
Just as quickly as the thought had entered, she waved it away, and thought, "No way,
that isn't possible."
At that moment, a sharp tap erupted from the door, and a raspy voice called out,
"Hey, it's Sebastian, I gotta talk to you about that drug case.
Eloise had tensed up at the knock, and frantically put the letter back into the envelope,
but soon recovered and replied, "Come in, come in!" somewhat distractedly.
The door swung open to reveal a somber Sebastian. Leaving no time for pleasantries,
Sebastian continues on,
"So as I was saying, it seems that there's going to be an appeal, so we'll need to send
in the documents once again."
Eloise, with her head already in shambles, opted to cut the conversation with a "Sure, I'll
look into it."
Sebastian then looked towards her desk, and saw something he was a little too familiar with.
"Not that file again. Does that mean you've got another clue that'll lead to a dead end?"
The inky blotches of text in the letter once again pervade her mind. She was not sure
whether to tell him or not, but in a fit of indecision, she blurted out, "Ye—No, I—I was
just looking at it."
Sebastian, now very suspicious, answers, "Oh really? Then what's that you're hiding?"
"That's… that's…" She fumbled as she spoke, and the letter fell gracefully to the
ground.
"Hmm? What's that?" He picked the letter up from the ground. He scanned it and found
Eloise Davidson written in minuscule black ink, scrawly and uneven, like chickenscratch. And just like her father's.
"Do you mind if I read it?" he asked.
Eloise remained silent as she watched him cautiously remove the letter from the envelope.
A few minutes passed, with his face contorting into one of disgust as he handed the letter over.
"Is this legit?" he asked.
"I don't know. But it must be because…"
"Because?" imploring her into continuing.
"My dad may have written it." she softly muttered.
"What? That's nonsense!" he says as his voice starts to crack.
"Calm down, I have a hunch."
"I don't believe it, but that aside, where did you find it?" he asked baffled, still trying to make sense of the situation.
At my desk, at home, mumbled eloise, as if realizing how
"It's not a prank, Sebastian!", said Eloise, as if it were her turn to flare up.6
"Alright, alright. But don't get hurt. I don't want you to do anything dumb or dangerous."
he said.
"Yeah yeah, I know Seb." said Eloise, as she cools down.
"I know you, and I don't think you mean it." he grumbles. "I want you to promise, actually
promise to not get into danger."
"I promise." Eloise replies.
"Good, now let's get back to that drug case." he said.
She stepped inside her house, her mind trapped in a flurry thought. She was oscillating
to and fro on whether telling Sebastian about the letter was a good idea or not. "Did he
believe me, or did he think I've lost it?" She was busy questioning herself until her eyes
landed on the painting that had fallen on the floor. She stepped towards it and
exclaimed. "Odd." She was trying to investigate the situation but there was nothing to
investigate. She picked up the painting and climbed on the chair to hang it back.
As she was putting the thread on the nail, her hand touched the back side of the frame.
"It's uneven." said Eloise. She rechecked it, tracing her fingers on the cardboard, she
felt a hook that was promptly removed.
She brought the painting to her desk, unhooked all the hooks from the cardboard and
removed the frame of the painting.
She couldn't move for a moment straight, same black ink, same two words and seven
letters, "Dear Ellie". "Another letter?" She sat on her chair and opened it.
Dear Ellie,
I see you're still confused; you're unable to figure out a lot of things, but I'm afraid we
don't have much time to spare. A carton is all you need to find, a carton that is near to
your heart but is far from your sight, in it lies the first step towards peace, but
remembers not to share these words with anyone, as we have none to trust.7
PS:
You'll always be the reason for my betterment, whether I'm dead or alive.
She was silent,
Five minutes passed. Then ten minutes. And then suddenly, she muttered to herself,
"A carton? What am I getting myself into?" She was not confused, not afraid, just
baffled, unable to comprehend the situation she was in.
A few minutes later, the beautiful carpet of her living room was completely covered with
cartons, some half empty, some completely empty, some buried under the mess. The
living room was something like a refugee camp. She too was in a messy state; her hair
tied in a bun and her clothes covered with dust.
"These are all the cartons that are close to my heart, and there's nothing, absolutely
nothing in here. What am I supposed to look at now?" Said Eloise, in a frustrated tone.
She grabbed the cupcakes from a nearby table, sat down on the coach and turned on
the TV. A soppy scene from a movie was being played on the TV: "No! How can I miss
you; you may be far from me however I keep your pictures and your locket in my
pocket, close to my heart. The cupcake was near her mouth, she placed it back on the
plate in a sudden brainwave.
"Dad's pictures, his clothes; they're in the basement. How did I forget about it!"
She ran into the basement, "There it is," she bellowed. After a long time, she finally had
a lead. She started taking things out of it, like an impatient kid.
"Found it!"
There was a bang on the door of the basement, and the hard drive she found nearly fell
from her hands; she was frightened and froze up for a second. " What in the world?"
It seemed as if the wind had shut the door on itself.
Going outside the basement she looked around; however, she could find nothing. "It
was just the wind." She sighed. "I need to focus!"
She took the hard drive and attached it to a projector she had lying around. After some
fiddling with the projector, she played back the video.
On the screen in front, a door was visible. Her house's door. A man was standing on her
doorstep wearing a long, grey coat, his hair short and styled. He knocked on the door,and Mr. Davidson opened it and greeted him, welcoming him inside. The man in the
grey coat walked inside and Mr. Davidson closed the door, with a bright smile.