That Night
"Summoning Jutsu!" I slam my hand to the ground. "Why do I keep saying that?"
"Saying what?" Shirokumo asks as the smoke disperses.
"Nothing. How you doing?" I throw myself onto my bed and dive under the covers. It's a chilly night.
"Swell. We got a nice big catch today in our webs. Had us a nice meal together, you should have been there." He walks up a wall to start working on his web again.
"No thanks. I don't like bugs." Except for the Aburame's beetles. Those are freaking cool!
"Yeah probably for the best. We don't eat similarly at all. You barbarians eat everything solid while us refined folk soften the meal up first."
"Yeah, I know how spiders eat. They vomit digestive fluids all over their prey, then they chew it up a bit with their 'jaws' and proceed to elegantly suck up the digestive fluid and meaty juices both. Rinse and repeat until all the edible parts are gone. It's gross. Really gross."
"You're not wrong, but to me it's you who eats strangely." Shirokumo shrugs his whole body.
"So I called you here for a reason." I snuggle deeper into my bed. "Totally not trying to change the subject at all."
"Yeah that was real smooth." Shirokumo blandly says. "What's the reason?"
"There's a piece of paper on the desk. Can you run it over to Jiraya for me? This is to prove that I can be useful. He'll be getting it bit by bit. I can't just give him everything I know right off the bat, I have to make it look like I've been investigating and discovering things as time goes on."
"Sure." Shirokumo grumbles as he descends to the desk. "Not like I want to work on my web at all, I'll just drop everything I'm doing to be your minion."
"Shirokumo you're a genius! It's perfect!" I fly out of my cocoon of warm blankets to start pacing back and forth. "It's great. But I need to make this worth it, I need to plan more."
"Right. I'll be going now. You're busy doing whatever the hell that is." Shirokumo poof away.
"Oh yes, this will be glorious!" My eyes gleam dangerously.
...
With Jiraya and Naruto
"Why are we still not back at Konoha?" Naruto groans out to himself. He knows that no one around him truly cares about what he's saying. In fact there is only one person around him. "I know why. Because you've not only stopped at every whore house but every damn bath house too!"
"They're not whore houses! They're brothels! There's a difference!" Jiraya defends his pastime activities.
"Whatever. I still don't know why I'm putting up with this."
"Hey Naruto, why don't you join me?" Jiraya says without looking away from an inconspicuous hole in the wall. "You're really missing out!"
"No." Naruto dryly replies. "You're lucky I don't yell pervert."
"I miss Alvarcus." Jiraya wilts in disappointment. Yet his eye never left the hole. "He joined me! He's the only person who has ever joined me! I swear he was the only one in your generation that showed true promise! There were the beginnings of a real Super Pervert in him!"
...
"I feel dirty." I shiver slightly as the feeling courses through my body and causes me to screw up the detailed plans of revenge against Sasuke I was working on. "Dammit. I spilled ink all over them."
...
"Yeah that was before he went rouge and joined Orochimaru." Naruto darkens at those words and his hand darts into one of his pockets. It's wrapped around something.
"True." Jiraya sours along with his student for a moment. "But the path of the Super Pervert knows no borders! It is a journey open to all!"
"Stop saying super pervert or I will shout." Naruto threatens. "Seriously I swear you spend more time perving than training me."
"Kiddo it's your fault you're not having a good time right now." Jiraya pats the spot next to him. "All you have to do is join me and you'll understand."
"No." Naruto deadpans.
"Good, because I'd hate to pull you both away from that." A scratchy voice says from behind him.
Both shinobi immediately tense at the sudden voice but they manage to only pull out kunai instead of throwing them.
"Yay, progress. You didn't try to kill me this time." Shirokumo steps out of his hiding spot in the shadows. The fact that he can hide in shadows has both shinobi impressed, he is a white spider. "Hello Toad Sage."
"Hello Spider Sage." Jiraya coolly replies as he straightens himself up from his peeping. The Akatsuki is more important that his research. Though it is close.
"Oh? You're a lot more insightful than any other human I've met. Bonus points to you." Shirokumo pulls a single piece of paper off of his back and hold it out to Jiraya. "How did you know?"
"Gut feeling." Jiraya accepts the paper. "I know what nature chakra feels like, you had lingering traces of it on you the first time we met. Plus there's something about you that screams dangerous to me."
"Ah yes, my Sage Mode will have that effect. I haven't gotten all of the traces of it out of my system from the last time I used it. You'd be surprised how long it stays with you, even if it's only a trace. It's almost like a marker for other Sages to recognize each other. You have one yourself."
"What the hell are you two talking about?" Naruto interjects himself into the conversation. "The hell is a Sage? I thought he just called himself the Toad Sage for shit, kicks and giggles."
"He doesn't know about Sages?" Shirokumo asks Jiraya.
"Does Alvarcus?" Jiraya retorts.
"Fair point, Naruto has had access to the Toads for longer than Alvarcus has had access to the Spiders." Shirokumo accepts defeat.
"What about your other Summoner? The one you won't name? Do they know about Sages?" Jiraya asks with a mask of casualness.
"You want to know if Orochimaru has a Sage at his beck and call." Shirokumo saw right through it. "Orochimaru doesn't. He's never brought up that topic with my Summoner."
"Whew!" Jiraya wipes non-existent sweat from his brow. "I was worried for a moment! Could you imagine what Orochimaru would do with a Sage?"
"I hate to repeat myself, but what the hell is a Sage?" Naruto asks again. "No ignoring me this time!"
"So consider that paper my Summoner's proof that he's valuable." Shirokumo blatantly ignores the irate Naruto. "I know I teased you a little bit last time so here's proof that we actually do know more than you do."
"Let's see it then." Jiraya reads the paper. There's only one sentence on it. "There are currently nine members. Currently? Does that mean they're recruiting?"
"No, it means there used to be ten." Shirokumo clarifies. "I suppose they are looking to get their numbers back up, but they're having a hard time replacing the tenth member since he took something valuable with him when he left."
"Who was he? Who has the balls to leave a group like that?" Jiraya asks.
"Ah ah ah, that would be revealing too much." Shirokumo taunts him. "So does my Summoner meet your expectations?"
"Yes, he does." Jiraya burns the piece of paper on the spot. "I look forward to a profitable relationship. How can I get in contact with him? This is supposed to be a two way street right? I use him and he uses me?"
"No, this is just him using you. He doesn't want anything from you. All he wants is to provide information."
"That's surprisingly selfless for any shinobi, myself included."
"Is it though? He wants the Akatsuki gone even more than Konoha does. He's using you to further his own agenda, it just so happens that your agenda and his line up. If my Summoner wanted Konoha to burn – which he doesn't so don't bother asking – he would have sent me to an Iwa nin. You're nothing more to him than a means to an end."
"Wow. He's a dick, isn't he?" Jiraya says in mock irritation. He's done the exact same thing before so he can't blame him.
"Well you're not wrong, but I wouldn't say you're right." Shirokumo shrugs.
"Hello? Still here!" Naruto waves like an idiot. "OI! What is a Sage!"
"I'll be on my way now." Shirokumo says his goodbye.
"Until next time." Jiraya replies.
Shirokumo leaves in a cloud of smoke that quickly vanishes on the wind.
"Seriously though, the fuck is a Sage?" Naruto asks his teacher.
"I'll tell you when you're older." Jiraya turns back to his eye hole. "Hehehe! Yes, they're still here!"
"Oh gross is it one of those sex things?" Naruto draws the wrong conclusion.
"Yeah sure let's go with that." Jiraya remains glued to his hole. "Wait what the hell do you mean gross! I've taught you better than that!"
"Throwing me into a whore house and saying 'have fun' is not teaching! And you wonder why I don't like going there!"
"It's not a whore house! It's a brothel! They have class!"
...
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