Morgan felt a pain in his chest at the thought that Xol might be right. That what he was feeling was envy. The realization came like a dull blow—not violent, but the kind that settles between your ribs and refuses to leave. He knew that feeling had a bad reputation, that people hid it beneath their tongues as if naming it were a confession, and yet there it was, taking up space inside him with a comfort he found almost offensive.
"Me? Envious? Of him? Because he helped Miss Luzbel?... No. No, that can't be it. It shouldn't be. It simply can't."
(Morgan thought to himself, feeling as though someone were squeezing his chest from the inside.)
He placed a hand over his chest, gripping the fabric of his clothes as if he could crush the feeling before it had the chance to grow.
Seeing Morgan's reaction, Xol smiled. It wasn't a kind smile. It was the sort of smile that appears when someone confirms something they already knew. Letting out a sigh that carried more exhaustion than patience, he spoke again.
"Hahaha... so you finally figured it out. But damn, did you really never mature even a little? What kind of place did you grow up in? It seems like you only know how to put things into two boxes: good or bad. As if the whole world could fit inside them."
Morgan's face twisted into genuine confusion, so complete that for a moment he forgot the feeling in his chest.
"Huh?..."
(Morgan said, confused and exhausted.)
"Pfft. Why the hell am I the one who has to play teacher for someone this stupid?"
(Xol said, visibly annoyed.)
"But whatever. Someone has to do it, since there isn't much help available around here."
(Xol stretched lazily, carrying the reluctance of someone burdened with a responsibility he never asked for.)
"Listen, brat. Envy doesn't have to be a bad feeling by definition. Locking it into that category isn't just ignorant—it's downright stupid. Of course you can feel envy; we've already established that much. The real question is what you're going to do with it. You can let it eat away at you from the inside, rot you, turn every achievement of someone else into a wound of your own. Or you can take it, reshape it, use it. Let it remind you that someone out there is doing things better than you. And instead of letting that drag you down, let it push you to improve until there's nobody better."
Xol's words landed in a way Morgan hadn't expected. It wasn't that he was hearing something completely new. It was that someone was showing him something that had always been there, something he had never wanted to face directly. Envy wasn't just one thing. It had forms. It had directions. It had uses. Depending on whose hands it was in, it could destroy—or it could build.
That realization made him take a couple of steps back.
"And the same goes for other feelings, other perspectives. At the end of the day, it's you—and nobody else—who gives them shape, who decides how much influence they have over you. Maybe the day you truly understand that, the day you learn that not everything is black and white, that not everything is up or down, that there are more ways to look at things than you can imagine, you'll stop being a stupid little kid and become capable of helping people who need it. But in different ways. Not just the ones you already know."
Xol turned around with his usual indifference and walked toward the door. He opened it and was already about to cross through when, between yawns, he tossed one last question over his shoulder.
"So tell me, kid. What are you going to do with the envy you're feeling right now? Hahaha."
The question lingered in the room long after Xol had finished speaking.
Morgan stood there thinking. It was impossible to deny it now—that was what he was feeling. But could he really take something he had always labeled as a flaw, something that made him feel small, and turn it into something else? Could he see it differently, use it differently? Was that even possible?
He didn't know.
But if anyone did, it was Xol.
So he ran after him before he could get too far away.
"Wait, wait!"
He called out as he followed him, and although there was urgency in his voice, something inside him felt calmer than before. The possibility of a new perspective had left him intrigued in a way he hadn't expected, eager to learn more. To understand whether he had spent all this time looking at the world through a narrow crack, convinced that it was the entire window.
End of Chapter.
Next Chapter: The Envious God.