A Mission In The MortalRealm.
Azu Village.
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The scorching sun blazed high in the sky. A crow, squawking loudly, suddenly crashed to the ground, its beak buried in the dirt from the heat. The village's river had dried up; fish bones and dead plant roots could be seen in the dried river channel. The people were thin and scrawny, surviving on bitter roots and any other source of food and water they could find.
"Oh, Holy Gods, please heed our prayers. The people of Azu solemnly ask for your help." The village head bowed deeply, his voice trembling.
He was in the only temple the village had. It was large but quite beat-up. The village head and the villagers had bowed before the five lit candlelights. Each candle represented the Five Holy Gods. The people of Azu had the tradition of asking or thanking the gods in this very manner.
"Even if the skies have forsaken us, we plead that you do not." The village head added sorrowfully.
The villagers who were in or out of the temple kept their heads down.
"Brother, do you think this will work?" A little boy asked his older brother.
"I don't believe in gods, let alone the Five Holy Gods." The older brother said skeptically.
"But anything's better than watching the village die.' He whispered, gently holding his brother's head down with his hand.
The Five Holy Gods, also known as the Compassionate Ones, were renowned for looking out for mortals, their merits increasing with each act of kindness—hence, their title. On this fateful day, as they had done for countless centuries, they gathered in the clouds to answer the prayers of the Azu people.
"These mortals are pitiful." Lord Han looked down at them, eyes full of pity.
"Right. They're quite brave for holding out this long." Lord Zhao nodded in agreement.
"I understand, but they are supposed to look out for themselves instead of always relying on the gods." Lord Feng crossed his arms; his long greenish hair swaying as he looked down at the pleading mortals.
"A-Xiao, strike that rock with divine lightning to get the river flowing again." Lord Bai said after scanning the area.
Long Xiao nodded, but not in agreement, but to acknowledge his own thoughts. He had internally activated DivineRant, a divine technique that only existed in his mind.
Divine Rant Activated
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Why was I selected?
I neither submitted my qualifications nor coveted this position.
Also, I'm the worst possible candidate for this position.
This means I'm not only a Holy God but also a Higher God.
More responsibilities.
Just great.
I'm automatically qualified for annihilation.
What should I do?
Mother Scarlet, I need your guidance.
Divine Rant Deactivated
---
"A-Xiao, what's taking so long?" Lord Bai asked, his voice louder this time.
Long Xiao absentmindedly nodded, staring blankly and stroking his nonexistent beard. With a flick of his wrist, he summoned a bolt of divine lightning, intending to strike the rock and restore the river.
Unfortunately, his mind was still occupied by his Divine Rant.
The lightning struck alright, but... Lord Feng felt its aftermath.
Not the rock.
A flash of blinding light. A sizzle that echoed like a frying pan in the heavens.
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Lord Feng screamed at the top of his lungs.
When the smoke cleared, Lord Feng's once-flowing green mane had vanished. Every last strand dissipated, leaving his scalp gleaming like polished jade.
The air still hummed with residual electricity as he reached up, fingertips grazing the smooth curve of his head. The scent of something burning had spread now.
"My hair.... where did it go?" He rasped, voice cracking like thunder.
Long Xiao froze mid-stroke, expression blank.
"Brother Feng, I always knew you'd make a fine monk. The Buddha would be happy to have you under his guidance." Lord Bai teased.
"You look divine," Lord Zhao added, bringing out five blank scrolls, a feather, and an ink to capture the wonderful sight of Feng's disheveled appearance.
Long Xiao finally came to reality.
"Ahahaha! Brother Feng, what happened?" Long Xiao added, laughing his head off as sunlight fell on Feng's now bald head.
"WHAT.HAPPENED?" Feng lashed out, rushing towards Long Xiao in fury.
"I—I did this...?" Long Xiao covered his mouth.