As the trailing notes of the second song faded away, Shu let out a long breath as he put down the microphone. He looked a bit dazed... yet excited?
Right now, Shu felt his condition was truly a bit strange. He really wanted to do something, but he didn't know what he should do. His heart was suspended in mid-air, aimless...
Was he confused?
No... he actually saw things very clearly. At the very least, right now, Shu could feel everything around him.
Including all of Kiana's little movements and subtle glances when she refilled his glass—Shu took it all in. He felt his senses had never been this sharp before.
But... it seemed like he was merely collecting information? This information piled up in his head, retaining its most primitive form. Even the most straightforward things were actually covered by a thin veil.
He couldn't see through it, couldn't lift it, and didn't even notice the concealment... He could only watch helplessly as Kiana handed him glass after glass of alcohol, which he then drank sip by sip.
When the sparkling wine was gone, they opened the beer. When the beer was finished, they brought out the baijiu...
The moment the spicy, burning liquor slid down his throat, Shu reflexively clutched his neck. He set down what must have been his umpteenth glass and looked groggily at Kiana.
"What exactly are you trying to do...?" Shu felt he might be a little drunk, but to Kiana's ears, his words sounded even more serious and solemn than usual.
This was the result of Shu trying too hard... To maintain his image, every single word he spoke now went through a hundred rounds of completely useless overthinking.
Yes, completely useless.
"Ahem..." Seeing her grand scheme to get him drunk hit a snag, Kiana gave an awkward little cough and put down the bottle of baijiu, which was emitting a pungent, nose-stinging smell.
Honestly, she couldn't really stand the smell either... Did people actually like drinking this stuff?
"I just think you're really amazing at singing... Have you studied singing before?" Kiana found an excuse and took the shot glass of baijiu away from Shu.
Shu let Kiana take the glass away, as he was currently pondering the answer she needed.
Then, he gave this answer:
"I haven't. I guess it's just natural talent," Shu stated with a serious face. "Though I did study quite a few musical instruments before, and there's some overlapping knowledge between those lessons... But that only explains where my technique comes from, just applying knowledge from one thing to another. My vocal range, though, is definitely talent...
"Oh, actually, I think your voice is really nice too. You should be well-suited for singing..."
Kiana was still torn between feeling gratified that Shu was talking more and being surprised that he was solemnly narrating his entire thought process out loud, when he suddenly shifted the topic onto her.
"Eh? Me?" Kiana pointed at herself.
She had claimed earlier to be a mic hog... but that was just bragging! Pure bragging!
Back then, she was just afraid Shu would be nervous or something... But now...
After seeing this stat-monster pull off pro-level plays, she was scared to tears. There was no way she'd dare to go up now.
Hmm?
Actually, it wasn't that she didn't dare...
"Shu! Let's play Truth or Dare!" Kiana felt it was about time. Shu was completely immersed in this state, and if he had a couple more sips, he might genuinely pass out drunk.
So—now was the time!
Shu: "..."
Kiana's little scheme to dig out his secrets was completely naked, without any attempt to hide it!
Shu immediately reviewed his current state.
His disguise was still absolutely flawless!
Accepted!
The overly confident Shu instantly made the decision.
Kiana immediately grabbed the dice and dice cup from the side and shoved them into Shu's hands. "It's settled! We'll roll the dice and see who gets the higher number. Whoever rolls higher wins, and the loser has to answer a 'Truth'!"
Shu nodded blankly.
He felt something was off... Rolling dice... Was Kiana some kind of dice-rolling master?
Shu thought back carefully. He didn't recall Kiana having any such ability, so she definitely wasn't a master.
Then, a sudden flash of insight hit Shu—he realized what the problem was!
"What about 'Dare'?" Shu asked.
"Uh..." Kiana's eyes darted away. "Dare... If you really don't want to choose Truth, then you can choose Dare!"
You always have to leave a way out when doing things...
Shu thought about it, then nodded. With practiced ease, he slammed the dice cup onto the table, trapping the dice inside.
Kiana: "..."
How is he so good at that?
Feeling a little guilty, Kiana clumsily mimicked Shu's motion, slamming her own dice cup down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Lady Luck, protect me...!
And now—she even had her eyes closed, relying entirely on feeling, muttering under her breath like she was casting a spell.
With a light CLACK, Kiana's dice cup also landed on the coffee table. She opened her eyes, brimming with confidence.
Without needing to exchange a word, the two of them lifted their cups simultaneously.
Shu looked down at his own score and found that his total was lower than his remaining lifespan.
Then he looked over at Kiana's side—
Wow, all sixes.
Shu frowned. He felt he had genuinely forgotten some very important character setting.
"I win!"
Shu, who was just about to recall Kiana's absurd gacha luck, was interrupted by her cheer. She pushed the dice cup aside and leaned all the way over toward him. "As agreed, Truth!"
...It seemed his luck was just bad.
Shu felt his thoughts stalling, like a small pebble was jammed in the gears.
"What do you want to know?"
Everything!
Kiana desperately wanted to scream that, but even she knew it was impossible. She had to take it step by step...
"Then—when you're usually home alone, do you really not feel bored?"
What kind of question was that?
Shu still held onto the stereotype that Truth or Dare was for questions like "Who do you like?" or "Go pretend to confess to ***." Because of this, his defensive focus was entirely concentrated in that area.
Why would Kiana ask something like this?
Shu wondered for a moment, and then the answer just tumbled out of his mouth.
"I definitely get bored sometimes," he said, his voice flat and even. "I get tired of playing games, I don't want to watch anime, I don't want to scroll through short videos, and I just sit on the sofa not knowing what to do—there are definitely times like that."
Kiana nodded in deep agreement. She actually felt like that sometimes too, feeling like a salted fish that had lost its dreams, not wanting to do anything, just wanting to bury herself in Mei's embrace...
She blushed like an old lady.
"But what else can I do?" Shu might have noticed Kiana's reaction, but he didn't react much, just continuing to answer the question on his own.
"To be honest, I don't really think normal outdoor daily activities are any more interesting than those things. If I have absolutely no interest in my hobbies, even going out won't relieve that boredom.
"So, in the end, it all comes down to being alone... Am I lacking the outdoors? No, I'm lacking a friend to call me out."
Shu paused, looked around, and finally settled his gaze on Kiana.
"See, when you ask me out, I come out. I'm actually not that resistant to leaving the house..."
"Right, right, right." Kiana nodded hastily, but grumbled in her heart.
It's true that you're not resistant to going out... but it's also true that you refuse to let go of my hand once we're out...
To be honest, though, Kiana was genuinely a little surprised—surprised that Shu would actually state the fact that he "lacked friends" so bluntly, almost as if he were making fun of himself.
She couldn't help but ask another question. "Then why don't you make friends?"
Shu: "..."
He didn't answer immediately. Kiana looked at him nervously, waiting for his response.
Shu gazed at Kiana. There was a slight, tipsy haze in his eyes, but they were very clean.
Kiana watched as the corners of Shu's mouth curled up slightly. He slowly raised a finger, placed it vertically against his lips, and made a "shush" gesture.
"That's the second question," he said, his voice very gentle.
Kiana froze for a second, then smiled.
She pushed the dice cup in front of him, brimming with confidence. "Then let's play another round!"
Another round.
Shu's score had indeed gotten quite a bit larger, but it still paled in comparison to Kiana's all-sixes.
"Hiss..." Shu let out a soft exclamation. He suspected he had been caught in Izanami... He felt like he had seen this scene before.
There was nothing he could do but accept his loss.
After groggily losing for the second time, Kiana couldn't wait to ask her revised second question.
"Then, if Shu had a lot of friends, would you become more cheerful?"
"Am I gloomy?" Shu asked, looking genuinely hurt.
He really meant it. It wasn't like he walked around with a long face 24/7, right? When it came to Kiana's requests, even if he wasn't exactly taking the initiative, he was definitely being proactive.
Had he forgotten to keep smiling?
Shu raised a hand and touched the corner of his mouth, confirming that his smile had been plastered on his face from beginning to end. Aside from expressions he deliberately made to fit certain situations, he had absolutely never thrown a tantrum or given anyone attitude...
So why would Kiana feel he wasn't cheerful enough?
Could it be—she hates me?!
Shu felt as if he had been struck by lightning.
"Of course not!" Kiana also felt as if she had been struck by lightning.
The moment she saw Shu's hurt expression, Kiana felt like the sky was falling.
I worked so hard to grind up his confidence meter! Which bastard touched this young lady's galgame save file?!
Thankfully, the current Shu didn't need Kiana to over-explain; her single denial was enough for him to recover.
"As long as you don't," Shu sighed in relief, and Kiana also sighed in relief.
Immediately after, Shu began his answer.
"If I really had a lot of friends... then I probably would become much more cheerful than I am now." Shu seriously considered the hypothetical scenario Kiana provided, then looked at her and said with certainty.
However, he immediately smiled helplessly, closed his eyes, and shook his head.
"But where would I get so many... friends?"
When Shu opened his eyes again, a hint of indescribable loneliness actually leaked out.
He truly lacked friends, and his standards for friends were actually quite low—
He didn't ask for some profound bond between friends. As long as they could chat, hang out together, and have enough enthusiasm to discuss common topics, he was willing to call them a good friend.
Many people disdained "fair-weather friends," believing those guys were only there for the "wine and meat" and couldn't be considered true friends.
Shu didn't care about that. Since he had wine and meat, what was wrong with using them to exchange for a few temporary friends?
"My dappled horse, my furs worth a thousand gold, call the boy to trade them for sweet wine, and together we will melt away the sorrows of ten thousand ages."
[T/N: A famous line from Li Bai's poem "Bring in the Wine," illustrating the carefree squandering of wealth for the sake of companionship and drinking.]
Shu had no ambitions. He was a "prodigal son" who wouldn't fantasize about converting the wine and meat in his hands into a higher value. He knew what he lacked, so he was willing to trade those things for what he was missing.
He was a man easily satisfied.
Then what exactly was it that he couldn't accept?
Shu himself began to feel a little confused... He seemed to have never thought about this matter in such meticulous detail as he did today. In the past, he was always just in a daze, only knowing the rough outline.
It wasn't that he hadn't objectively analyzed problems like this before, but "friends"... he really hadn't dissected this issue before.
What kind of "friends" could he not accept...
No...
Why exactly was he unwilling to make friends?
[...]
["Who out there doesn't want to screw you over?"]
["Remember this, in this world, only your family will treat you well unconditionally!"]
[...]
Oh... so that's how it is.
It wasn't that he was averse to making friends.
He was just averse to a certain truth.
People can never truly understand each other's hearts... Everyone has their own thoughts, and everyone has their own "disguises."
Knowing a person's face doesn't mean knowing their heart... The more people you meet, the more you realize how terrifying that saying is.
Who knew what those "friends" were truly thinking inside? Who knew how many of the difficulties you faced were caused by the friends you trusted?
Actually... Shu had never experienced these things, but he could imagine them, along with all his reactions and psychological activities after encountering such things.
He felt as if he were right there, as if he had truly experienced it countless times.
...
What he feared was never betrayal...
He was just afraid...
Afraid that this world was truly exactly as those people said. Afraid that everyone in this world truly harbored malice. Afraid that this world was filled only with vultures smelling of rotting flesh. Afraid...
Afraid that all the beautiful things in his head...
Never actually existed at all.