One might think, as a righteous cultivator, that you would forgive past enemies. That you bury past grievances and move on and not bother with petty grudges.
You would be wrong.
The true essence of a cultivator is to hold every tiny grudge close to your heart and take revenge the moment you're able to!
The legendary face-slapping arc had arrived for Ocean Song.
Once he reached a new realm, he was contractually obligated, as a proper cultivator, to find his old enemies and slap their faces now that he had more strength.
It also helped that his old enemy was also weakened.
Considerably weakened.
What was the point in going against the heavens, gaining unfathomable cosmic power and achieving immortality if you couldn't slap faces?
He had to set an example for his juniors.
The first step, he had to establish his presence.
Thus, from the other side of the window, Ocean Song raised his arms 90 degrees, staring at a confused and frankly weirdlyintimidated Ares.
Dominance Established.
"What are you doing!? Why are you outside my window!?" Ares couldn't help but blurt out.
Ocean Song didn't respond, and after an awkward few moments of him staring at Ares, the God of War pulled the curtains closed, still utterly confused as to what was happening.
Curiosity got the better of him, and he peeked through the curtains, only to see that no one was there.
Did he drink too much?
Did he overestimate his mortal constitution?
Did his brother spike his drink out of pettiness?
All of those were possibilities.
He let out a sigh and slumped back into his chair. Regardless, he would just sit here quietly and ignore any more disturbances.
"This is a nice house, fellow Daoist."
"What the fuck!?" Ares jumped out of his chair, looking at Ocean Song standing right behind him. "Where did you come from!?"
"My mother, presumably. I never actually met her, so I can't say for certain." He took the now empty seat. "It's actually a very sad and long, very long story. I went to find my mother, and then I found God. Literally, not metaphorically. I went to Heaven and emerged victorious, receiving this prize upon my head."
He was, of course, referring to the pope hat.
Ares blinked, looking at the pope's hat, then remembering what he saw on the news. "What the fuck are you even talking about?"
He shook his head. "How did you get into my house!?"
"The door," Ocean Song deadpanned.
"It was locked!"
"Yes."
Ares looked at him, mouth open, no idea what to even say now. He felt like someone had hit him over the head with a brick because nothing was making sense right now.
"As I was saying." He relaxed in the God of War's surprisingly comfy recliner. "I returned triumphant, and I even brought an angel back with me. I think I left the tarp on her; I should fix that. Oh, and I also acquired a new transportation vehicle befitting of my status." He nodded to himself.
"..."
"I suppose it wasn't a very long story after all. It felt much longer than it actually was. In fact, I said I was going away for a long period, a journey if you will. Yet, I was only gone a few days." Ocean Song looked thoughtful.
"...What are you even talking about?"
"You're right, fellow Daoist. It matters not the distance; what matters is the journey." Ocean Song snapped his fingers. "Truly, you are a fountain of wisdom."
Ares let out a long sigh. "Did you just come here to kick me while I was down?"
"Yes."
"You –" Ares paused, his brain catching up to what Ocean Song just said. "Seriously?" He was again flabbergasted because he was being…rhetorical, mostly. He didn't actually expect him to be so blunt about it.
At least when he did this to other people in the past, he would be coy.
Ares's furrowing brow stopped, and he quickly sneered. "I'm a god."
"A god that can currently have their legs broken." Ocean Song retorted.
Ares, for all his hubris, hadn't considered that point.
And it was indeed a very good point.
"Whatever you do, do you think it will match up to what I'll do back to you when I'm back to normal?" Ares warned in a low voice.
Ocean Song clasped his arms behind his back as his robes billowed. "Fellow Daoist, not once in my life have I ever considered the consequences of my actions."
Like a proper cultivator.
Ares, once more, stared at Ocean Song and was seriously wondering if he was even real or if he were really, really drunk.
That, and he was wondering where that wind was coming from; they were indoors.
While Ares was stuck in a stupor, Ocean Song jumped up from his seat and casually made his way to the kitchen. "Oh, Fellow Daoist, you have a lot of god things in here."
Ares immediately snapped his attention back to the intruder. "What are you doing? Get out of there!" He pulled Ocean Song out of his fridge, the door slamming shut behind him. He quickly pulled it back open to see what he took, and he noticed that it was empty. "Did you just steal everything out of my fridge!?"
"I found your snacks, fellow Daoist." Ocean Song ignored him, munching on a cookie.
"My cookies!" He noticed the package get crumpled and tossed into the trash as they had all been eating. "I was saving those for the game tonight!"
"Don't worry, Fellow Daoist, they weren't that good." Ocean Song consoled him before leaving the kitchen.
The moment he left Ares's line of sight, the God of War bolted to find him again, only to see that he had disappeared.
"Fellow Daoist, your laundry is finished."
Ares quickly ran down the hallway and all but fell to his knees. "My washing machine and my dryer! "Why…how!?"
There was a noticeable spot where they were missing.
"What kind of person steals a man's washing machine!?" Ares fell to his knees.
Ocean Song looked at the defeated God of War. Taken down without even a single punch being thrown.
Truly, he was the ultimate face slapper.
"Fellow Daoist. Would you like to know a secret?"
Ares looked at him, defeat clear in his eyes. He knew when he lost. At this moment he could do nothing but endure.
"No one will believe you." With that, Ocean Song walked right out the front door.
Ares let out a long sigh.
Water was dripping from the connection where his washing machine used to be.
Thankfully, the water shut off was in the bathroom, but as soon as he went in, he froze.
"MY TOILET!"
[Line Break]
Caerus, the god of opportunity and luck, walked up the many stairs of the mountain.
It had taken him a bit of effort to find the exact location, but once he got closer, he realized he was in the right spot.
That is, approaching the mountain, he noticed the massive magical barrier that surrounded it, stopping even a god like himself from just flying inside or teleporting inside.
It was almost insulting to him.
How dare a group of mortals bar his entrance?
But he had to rein his temper in.
He was here on a mission.
A very important mission even. He was selected as the one to reach out first to investigate this place and the person they were trying to recruit.
As the God of Luck and Opportunity, there was no better person than him for the first attempt. That's what they all said, but a strange nagging feeling in the back of his head told him that maybe they had ulterior motives.
It made him recall the same words of praise they used to get him to go and try to recruit Hercules.
Sure, maybe he was a bit headstrong.
Maybe he was a bit arrogant.
Maybe he could have been more polite to Hercules.
But Hercules was no longer a god at that point, right? And he, Caerus, was a powerful and valued god; they all even said so.
And sure, maybe it did end up with him getting quite literally stuffed into a trash can while Hercules called him a scrawny little runt, but that was just a momentary set back.
It was just normal sibling behavior, right?
They were both children of Zeus!
Even if Zeus never showed the same pride or praised him the same way he did Hercules. Even if Zeus never really even reached out, or talked to him, or even asked him how he was doing.
It gave Caerus pause, but he ignored it for now and continued onwards.
He was an instrumental part of the group of Lesser Gods, and he had a mission.
The long climb up the stairs, he reached the top, and it was…strangely majestic. It had a certain ambience and aura to it that left the lesser god feeling slightly envious.
His own home was significantly less grand.
Hell, he didn't even have a mountain.
He had a small little residence on Mount Olympus, but his real home was…well, it wasn't very magnificent.
Caerus may not be the most famous or strong of gods, but he was still a lesser god! It made him rather angry now to think that a bunch of mortals lived here when he didn't have something as good.
Jealousy was something he inherited from his father.
Unfortunately, he didn't inherit the King of God's strength.
Caerus was perhaps the weakest of the Lesser Gods, if not within that range.
He looked around at the entrance.
There was no one to greet him, and no one to stop him either.
He stepped inside, and he noticed that he passed through the barrier without any problems. It showed that the barrier didn't stop people approaching from the 'entrance,' which confused him. If people could just walk in through the front door, what was the point?
At the very least you needed someone guarding the door.
"Bawhooo~"
"What the fucksvhuyvhfdfh!?" The god nearly jumped out of his skin as he fell over and rolled across the ground.
He felt something just suddenly breath on his neck and shout in his ear. Even the god wasn't immune to being startled and frightened like that.
The next moment, there was nothing there.
He looked around frantically, but there was no one besides him, no one hiding. Even with his godly senses, he couldn't discover anyone hiding nearby.
He was wondering if he imagined it.
Was it just some spell or defense against intruders?
Hesitantly, he got back up, dusting himself off. He made sure to fix his clothing; he didn't want to look disheveled; it was besmirching his image.
He looked at the tiny little plastic pool sitting nearby, wondering why it was there before shaking his head.
Maybe he had just been imagining it.
That was until he felt a warm breath on his nape again. His eyes widened and he turned around, only to see that nothing was there.
"Who's there!?" He shouted, but there was no response. "I demand to meet with the owner of this place! I am Caerus!"
He looked around as his words echoed against the walls with no one responding.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he just saw something. Something big, something imposing, something…sliding across the ground, sort of dragging itself awkwardly.
But the moment he tried to focus on it, it disappeared.
He was now cautious.
Something about this place was off.
But he was no coward, and he was on a mission. He ascended the mountain palace further, venturing into the depth of the towering structures.
He smelled something…strange.
Perhaps someone was cooking or a fire was started?
The smell made his lips, his throat, and even his eyes tingle.
Curiosity got the better of him as he approached what he thought was the source. A large door barred his way, and for someone else, they may think it was impolite to barge in. But for a god, he didn't care for such small matters like propriety when it came to mortals.
He pushed the door open and nearly gagged.
A visibly green smoke poured out and perhaps mixed with a tinge of pink.
His eyes watered, and he suddenly found himself having a hard time breathing.
And he also looked down. Why did he have an erection?
It all happened so suddenly that his head spun until he saw someone on the other side of the room. Two glowing, menacing eyes started back at him, almost snake-like in appearance.
"Who dares enter my —!"
Before the figure could finish, Caerus panicked and ran out of the building.
"--room without knocking…?" Medusa finished as the person just ran away.
She waved the smoke away, the remnants of the poison and aphrodisiac she had been making.
She coughed a little, noting that she needed better ventilation in here. With a shrug, she got back to work and ignored the distraction for now.
Caerus ran, feeling a great many conflicting feelings right now. Part of them was the stinging and burning sensation in his throat.
Credit was due to this godhood, which would have had a mortal dissolving into a puddle of goo, only tickled his senses a bit.
Except for the tent now standing in his pants.
He didn't know why that was happening, and he was both too confused and scared to stop and ask why.
He saw a large garden, stopping to take a breath.
The fresh air was a welcome reprieve, letting him exhale all the poisonous smoke he had taken in unintentionally.
He glanced up at a shed at the corner of the garden; the door slowly creaked open.
"WHO'S STEALING MY PLANTS!?"
Caerus let out a frightened squeal as a man with bloodshot eyes came running out holding a pitchfork.
He turned and ran away again, leaving a confused Daedalus standing at the edge of his garden, wondering who the fuck that was.
He didn't know where he ran to at this point.
The smaller god turned several corners, getting far away from whatever or whoever that was.
He fully believed that this place was hostile to him now.
Maybe there was no one blocking the entrance because it was a trap to lure people inside?
He still felt like something was following him, like something was watching him from the shadows.
Every so often, he would hear a faint echo, barely reaching his ears, almost like a whale call.
But that started to get drowned out too as something more familiar pricked his ears. The sound of steel clanging, a hammer hitting iron, and the fires of a forge.
The familiarity brought comfort.
He had no connection to the forge of smithing, but the normality of it was reassuring to him, who was approaching his wits' end.
The doors to the forge were much more welcoming.
Large and intimidating on the surface, but cracked and inviting, contrastingly.
He pulled open one of the doors, stepping inside.
And as he felt the heat hit his face, the hammering stopped.
Caerus felt a tingle down his spine.
"Mongrel." A loud voice boomed. "Daring to step into my forge without announcing yourself!?"
Caerus only saw a flash of light, and a dozen swords embedded themselves into the wall right next to him.
The little god let out a shrill cry and ran away again.
Tyson stepped out from behind his forging equipment, hammer in hand. "Nessie, how did I do? I was practicing. Did I do a good job like Senior Brother told me?" The Cyclops had a big smile on his face as he looked around. "Nessie?" He scratched his cheek and just assumed he must have imagined someone coming inside.
Seeing that no one was around, Tyson took his swords back to try again when Nessie came around. He was very excited to show how much he had been practicing.
At this point, Caerus was on the verge of tears.
He didn't know what was happening.
He just came here on a mission to invite the new god to their group to extend an olive branch. And now, he had eyes full of tears, his throat itched, he was scared, and he still had an erection, and he didn't know why.
He was a god; why was this place so terrifying!?
He tripped down a flight of stairs, only picking himself up as he hit the bottom, landing in a modest courtyard.
The smaller god looked around, noticing he wasn't alone as his breath hitched.
Of course, there was a weird car just…parked on the stone.
With a clearer mind, he would ask how it even got there, but his attention was instead drawn to the silhouette of a person, covered in a sheet or a tarp or a blanket.
He didn't know what it was, but it just…stood there.
Even as he made a ruckus, it didn't move.
Caerus swallowed as he approached it, unconsciously drawn to it. "...hello?"
After another moment, he cleared his throat. "I am Caerus, God of Opportunity." He announced proudly, but there was still no response.
He poked it, feeling a physical response underneath, and he let out a relaxed sigh. Maybe it was the opportunity to let his heart calm down, but he had a moment to gather his thoughts.
He was a god; it was beneath him to be scared so easily.
A bunch of mortals wouldn't be able to scare him.
If he wanted, he could simply destroy this place.
He reassured himself.
If anything, he now was confident, angry even. He announced himself, and yet, whoever was under this tarp was ignoring him!
With a scoff, he pulled the tarp up, about to give them a particular scolding, maybe even punishment depending on his mood.
There was a woman there, standing unmoving, her eyes turned to him.
Her many eyes.
Her many many eyes.
He gazed past the facsimile of a person and saw what was underneath.
Wings and eyes, looking down on him.
His fragile confidence shattered and he fell over.
The angel stood there, unmoving still.
"What the heck is going on? I could hear the commotion from the kitchens. Was someone running around screaming? Who is this?" Hel and Mel walked down the steps, finding the source of the commotion.
The Angel looked up at her.
Mel was used to it, as much as one could be, and didn't get nearly as startled at the fact that there was a literal angel nearby now.
If anything, she just accepted its presence as much as anything else.
For a goddess of her stature, she wasn't afraid of this angel but more of its origin and implications.
He gave the angel a look and knew asking it would be fruitless; it didn't engage or talk or make any movements.
The goddess scrunched her nose as she looked down at the intruder. "A god? Greek? Probably. Why….does he have an erection?"
She made a gagging noise at a pervert like this sneaking inside.
"Nessie." She called out.
The Great Void Sect's protecting divine beast appeared.
"Bawhoo." She chirped happily at being summoned.
Hel gave Nessie a warm pat on the head. "Can you throw this person out, please? Thank you."
Nessie gave another happily shrill, picking Caerus up with her mouth and making her way back to the entrance of the sect, slowly.
Once she got to the entrance, she spat him out at the top of the stairs, and the lesser god began to roll downwards.
The Great Protecting Divine Void Sect Beast then returned to its pool and turned on its radio, singing along to every song that came on.
Such was a normal day in the Sword Heart Sect.
[Line Break]
A/N
A normal day in the sect, Ocean Song slaps Ares's face, or something.
Next, Ocean Song catches up with Percy and the other demigods like Lyra.
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