Land of Fire — Konohagakure, Village Park
"Distinguished guests, honored friends, ladies and gentlemen...
"Good morning, everyone."
Clap! Clap! Clap!
After the enthusiastic applause gradually died down, the master of ceremonies raised both hands to quiet the crowd before continuing.
"Today is February 1st, Year 51 of Konoha.
"We have gathered here to celebrate the wedding of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki.
"I am Nara Shikaku."
"On behalf of the groom, the bride, Lord Jiraiya, and Lord Hokage, I sincerely thank you all for attending today.
"Welcome, everyone."
"Last year, Konoha endured the fiercest conflict since the village's founding—the Battle of Kikyo Pass.
"In that battle, we lost countless comrades...
"Countless loved ones.
"But fortunately...
"We won.
"At the end of last year, every major hidden village signed peace treaties with us one after another.
"Let us offer our gratitude to those who now rest in the Pure Land. It is because of their sacrifices that the next generation can inherit a peaceful future."
"..."
Listening to Shikaku's passionate speech, Asuka couldn't help twitching at the corner of his mouth.
Did the Third Hokage write that speech for him?
He had somehow managed to connect marriage and childbirth to the Will of Fire.
Burn yourself away...
So fresh leaves can grow.
Walk willingly into the grave called marriage...
Just so the next generation can witness this beautiful world.
Pah!
The ninja world is brutal enough already.
I've only lived eighteen years, and I already don't want any more of it.
And you still expect the next generation to enjoy it?
---
Thinking that, Asuka turned toward the child sitting beside him.
Uchiha Itachi was calmly drinking cup after cup of soda without any intention of stopping.
Leaning over slightly, Asuka whispered,
"Kid, slow down on the soda."
"Why?"
Itachi looked up at him in confusion.
Originally, he'd been sitting with the other children.
Unfortunately, every kid at that table was eating with their hands, completely ruining his appetite.
So he'd picked up his little stool and moved over to the Uchiha adults' table instead.
He hadn't expected to get lectured after only drinking two cups.
"No particular reason."
Asuka shrugged.
"I just heard the Uchiha Clan gave a wedding gift of two hundred thousand ryō."
"I'm worried you'll fill up on drinks and end up wasting too much money."
"Your parents got married early, so your family is already at a disadvantage."
"If they divorced and remarried, maybe they'd at least earn some of it back from the Fourth Hokage and Lady Kushina."
Having said his piece, Asuka folded his arms and said nothing more.
If he remembered correctly...
The Fourth Hokage and Kushina would soon die.
That meant the two hundred thousand ryō wedding gift would effectively be wasted.
Then, years later, Naruto would have a wedding ceremony...
But Sasuke wouldn't.
After going back and forth like that, the Uchiha would lose at least another two hundred thousand ryō.
A total loss of four hundred thousand.
What an unlucky family.
They'd eat two wedding banquets...
...and lose four hundred thousand ryō.
---
"My beautiful bride...
"Do you accept this handsome groom?"
"I do!"
"Woooooo!!"
The deafening cheers from the audience made Asuka's ears ring.
Watching Minato and Kushina openly shower each other with affection onstage, he couldn't help twitching again before joining the applause.
His relationship with the couple wasn't particularly close.
Still...
He had contributed a wedding gift of one thousand ryō.
He might as well get his money's worth from the banquet.
If the system hadn't suddenly appeared...
He would have disappeared immediately after finishing his meal.
---
Glancing at the now-silent Itachi, Asuka closed his eyes and reopened the system interface.
Earlier, after seeing the Beginner Gift Pack, he'd been too stunned to continue reading.
Now that he'd calmed down, it was finally time to see how this thing was supposed to make him stronger.
«[Beginner Mission]
[Uchiha Naoki repeatedly bullies your older brother, Uchiha Itachi, by relying on his status as the grandson of a clan elder while you are away on missions. Defeat Uchiha Naoki and make him your loyal supporter.]
[This is the prerequisite mission for unlocking all subsequent missions and cannot be abandoned.]»
"...?"
Question marks practically filled Asuka's head.
Uchiha Naoki?
Who the hell is that?
He searched through his memories but couldn't remember anyone by that name.
More importantly...
Since when was Itachi my older brother?
He turned toward Itachi, who was sitting beside him, placed a hand on the boy's head, and gently ruffled his hair.
"Itachi."
"Does anyone else in the clan have the same name as you?"
"No."
Itachi shook his head.
Asuka then turned toward the elderly man seated on his other side.
"Elder Mato."
"Do we have anyone in the clan named Uchiha Naoki?"
"Hm?"
The old man set down his wine cup and looked Asuka up and down before leaning back suspiciously.
"What do you want with him?"
"Nothing serious."
Asuka casually picked up his own cup, took a sip of wine, and answered without thinking.
"I suddenly remembered that he used to bully me."
"I've been bored lately, so I figured I'd challenge him to a fair duel."
Bang!
The elder slammed his palm onto the table with terrifying force.
The dishes jumped into the air.
Startled, Itachi nearly choked on his food.
Still clutching his rice bowl, he looked around in confusion.
Then he saw Elder Mato's face...
It had turned a frightening shade of purple.
"U-Uchiha Asuka..."
"You..."
"You've got some nerve!"
"You want to duel Naoki?"
"Just because I opposed your proposal during the clan meeting, you're trying to take revenge on my grandson?!"
Asuka blinked.
"...How old is Naoki?"
"Two."
The answer left him completely frozen.
Without another word, Asuka grabbed Itachi with both hands, switched seats with him, and quietly scooted several places farther away from Elder Mato.
That... was careless.
---
"System."
"What year is it?"
«[Year 57 of Konoha.]»
"Bullshit!"
Asuka looked toward the wedding stage.
Minato and Kushina were still kissing beneath the enormous banner that clearly read:
«Congratulations to Mr. Minato Namikaze and Miss Kushina Uzumaki on their marriage on February 1st, Year 51 of Konoha. May they support each other for life and grow old together.»
Grinding his teeth, Asuka roared inside his mind,
"It's Year 51!"
"Minato Namikaze's wedding isn't even over yet!"
«[Please refer to the timeline recognized by the system.]»
"Hmph."
Taking several deep breaths to calm himself, Asuka continued,
"And another thing."
"Why is Uchiha Itachi my older brother?"
"Even in terms of seniority, I'm a generation older than him."
«[According to the system's records, you and Uchiha Itachi share the same mother. He was born three years before you and is therefore your older brother.]»
Asuka's body trembled with rage.
"Bullshit!"
"I'm an only child!"
"I've been bottle-fed since birth!"
"I've never shared a single drop of milk with anyone!"
"Where the hell did this 'older brother from the same mother' come from?"
«[Please refer to the character relationships recognized by the system.]»
"..."
After a long silence...
Asuka finally understood.
This broken system hadn't merely activated six years too early.
It had bound itself to the wrong person.
The more he looked at it...
The more it resembled a system designed for someone who had transmigrated as Uchiha Sasuke.
Forget it.
Since it's already attached to me... it's mine now.
"I request a mission change."
«[Mission cannot be changed.]»
"I'm not Uchiha Sasuke."
"Stop giving me his missions."
«[Please refer to the mission relationships recognized by the system.]»
"I'm a jōnin."
"A very capable jōnin, at that."
"And you're telling me to beat up a two-year-old who hasn't even been weaned yet?"
"You call that a counterattack?"
"Go look up the definition of 'counterattack' in a dictionary."
«[Please complete the Beginner Mission.]»
"I already have a grudge against Elder Mato."
"Change the target to him, and I'll gladly mount a counterattack."
«[Please complete the Beginner Mission.]»
"Fine."
"Uninstall yourself."
"I'm defecting."
«[Please complete the Beginner Mission.]»
"Heh..."
Asuka looked up at the sky and let out a cold laugh.
This system was nothing like he'd imagined.
He could accept that it wasn't a simple sign-in system.
He could even accept having to complete missions.
But...
He absolutely refused to beat up a toddler.
And worst of all...
This system was unbelievably stubborn.
It had clearly bound itself to the wrong person.
Its timeline was obviously six years off.
Yet no matter what he said...
It simply refused to admit it.