Saturday, April 4, 2002
"ALL RIGHT, GUYYYYSSS!"
Miguel Katayuya suddenly stood from his chair and struck the most ridiculous pose he could manage in front of his camera. One hand pointed toward the ceiling while the other rested dramatically near his waist.
Even more importantly, he was wearing an eyepatch.
"LET'S PAAAAARTYYYYY!"
His livestream chat immediately exploded.
TORO THINKS HE'S DATE NOW
BRO BOUGHT AN EYEPATCH 💀
MIGUEL MASAMUNE
TAKE THAT SHIT OFF
LET'S PARTYYYY
Miguel ignored every insult, dropped back into his chair and grabbed his controller with a grin. "You guys don't understand! This is called immersion!"
On the television in front of him, Date Masamune stood surrounded by enemy soldiers, six swords spread between his hands like claws.
Miguel had been obsessed with Sengoku Basara since the moment it released.
There wasn't even any competition.
He had tried several characters during his first few hours, but the moment Date Masamune pulled out six swords and started shouting broken English while murdering entire formations of soldiers, Miguel immediately knew he had found his character.
Six swords?
Ridiculous.
Blue armor?
Cool.
One eye?
Cooler.
Constantly screaming English phrases in the middle of Sengoku Japan?
Perfect.
Miguel had barely used anyone else since.
His Date Masamune was already approaching Level 50, the maximum level, and practically everything available for the character had been heavily developed. Miguel had bought multiple weapons, improved his preferred equipment, unlocked almost every skill, and spent far too much time experimenting with different special-attack combinations.
Right now his Masamune was absurd.
A group of soldiers rushed him.
Miguel grinned. "Come here, peasants!"
Date dashed forward.
One wide six-sword attack tore through the first group. Miguel immediately canceled into another technique, launched several enemies upward, then rushed beneath them before activating a lightning-coated finishing attack.
Bodies flew everywhere.
"HAHAHAHA!"
Miguel leaned toward his camera.
"No one can convince me anymore! THIS is how the real Date Masamune acted!"
His chat immediately disagreed.
NO HE DIDN'T
MIGUEL PLEASE OPEN A HISTORY BOOK
MASAMUNE DID NOT HAVE SIX SWORDS
HE DEFINITELY DIDN'T SCREAM LET'S PARTY
BRO LEARNS HISTORY FROM ZAGE
Miguel pointed angrily at the chat monitor. "SHUT UP! You weren't there!"
That somehow made things worse.
NEITHER WERE YOU
MIGUEL BORN 400 YEARS LATE
SOURCE: TRUST ME BRO
Miguel continued fighting while becoming increasingly defensive. "Listen! I'm Japanese. I know damn Japanese history!"
The chat immediately found another weakness.
AREN'T YOU HALF LATINO
MIGUEL YOU'RE BARELY JAPANESE LMAO
BRO SWITCHES NATIONALITY WHEN CONVENIENT
Miguel abruptly paused the game.
He slowly turned toward the camera.
"HEY!"
The chat moved even faster.
Miguel pointed toward himself. "Yes, I have Latino blood. SO WHAT!? I still love Japan with all my heart!"
He slapped his chest.
"I love Japanese culture! Japanese food! Japanese games! Japanese history!"
Then his eyes drifted toward the wall beside his setup.
A large Zaboru Renkonan poster hung there.
Miguel's expression immediately brightened.
"Especially Japanese people!"
He stood, walked toward the poster and dramatically grabbed both sides of it.
"YEAH! ZABORU-SAMA! I LOVE YOU!"
Then he kissed the poster.
The chat became completely unreadable.
????????????
MIGUEL NOOOOO
HE DID IT AGAIN
GEI
GEI
GEI
ZABORU RUN
Miguel spun back toward the camera. "IT'S NOT FUCKING GAY IF IT'S ZABORU! YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW THIS!"
That only caused more messages.
Miguel didn't care.
This was far from the first time he had publicly declared his unreasonable admiration for Zaboru, and it definitely wouldn't be the last.
He calmly returned to his chair.
"Anyway."
As if nothing had happened, he unpaused the game and continued destroying soldiers.
A few minutes later, however, the chat began repeating another subject.
MIGUEL UNLOCK THE OTHER CHARACTERS
YOU HAVE LIKE A BILLION COINS
GO TO THE SHOP
STOP ONLY PLAYING DATE
BUY THE SECRET CHARACTERS FCKER
Miguel frowned.
"Other characters?"
The messages became increasingly aggressive.
He opened his inventory.
His in-game currency appeared in the corner.
Miguel blinked.
"…Oh."
He actually had a ridiculous amount.
Because Miguel had played so much Date Masamune, he had accumulated enormous amounts of currency from repeated campaigns, higher difficulties and optional battles. The problem was that he barely spent any of it outside equipment for Date.
New sword?
Bought.
Better armor?
Bought.
Another Masamune costume?
Absolutely bought.
Anything involving another character?
Ignored.
Miguel leaned backward. "Why would I buy characters? I already have Date!"
He pointed toward the paused image of Masamune.
"He's PERFECT!"
Then Miguel copied him.
"LET'S PARTY!"
The chat didn't surrender.
SHOP
SHOP
SHOP
SHOW US THE CHARACTERS
Miguel sighed dramatically. "Fine! Fine! Damn, you guys are annoying. Let's see what ZAGE hid in here."
He backed out of the campaign and entered the game's shop menu.
Weapons.
Armor.
Costumes.
Items.
Then—
SPECIAL CHARACTERS.
Miguel raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
He opened it.
Two portraits were already marked as unlocked.
The first was Matsunaga Hisahide.
The second was Miyamoto Musashi.
Miguel stared at them.
"When the fuck did I buy these two?"
Chat immediately answered.
YOU DIDN'T
HISAHIDE = BEAT DATE STORY
MUSASHI = HARD MODE CLEAR
READ THE GAME MIGUEL
Miguel frowned. "What do you mean, read the game? That's what you guys are for."
The chat insulted him for several seconds.
Apparently, Hisahide had unlocked after Miguel completed Date Masamune's campaign, while Musashi became available after his first full Hard difficulty clear.
Miguel nodded slowly. "Okay. That explains it."
He highlighted Musashi for a moment.
The preview showed the legendary swordsman carrying two blades, looking far more dangerous than Miguel expected.
"Damn. Musashi actually looks cool."
Then he immediately moved on.
"But not Date cool."
The shop initially displayed eight additional purchasable guest characters.
Miguel sighed. "All right. Let's waste my money for content."
He selected the first silhouette.
PURCHASE?
"Yes."
The screen flashed.
A warrior wearing green armor appeared, wielding a long spear with an unmistakably heroic appearance.
ZHAO YUN
Miguel stared.
"…What?"
He leaned closer.
"Zhao Yun?"
His eyes narrowed.
"Chinese?"
The chat immediately started reacting.
Miguel raised both hands. "Okay, okay! I'm not being racist or anything! I'm just asking—this is Sengoku Basara. Isn't this supposed to be Japanese history!?"
The chat quickly filled with responses from the small number of viewers who recognized the name.
ROMANCE OF THE THREE KINGDOMS
ZHAO YUN IS GOATED
BRO IS A CHINESE WARRIOR
USE HIM MIGUEL
Miguel stared at Zhao Yun's preview as the spear-wielding warrior performed several incredibly fast attacks.
"…Okay, he does look badass."
He shrugged.
"Whatever. Next!"
What almost nobody watching understood was that Zhao Yun's design and combat style were pulled directly from another franchise Zaboru remembered from his previous life.
Dynasty Warriors.
That franchise didn't exist in this world.
Not yet.
So for most players, this strange Chinese spear warrior was simply another bizarre ZAGE guest character.
Miguel purchased the next one.
The screen flashed again.
A familiar red-haired swordsman appeared.
Miguel's eyes widened.
"No fucking way."
HIMURA KENSHIN
"BATTOUSAI!"
Miguel immediately grinned. "Okay! Now we're talking!"
The chat exploded as Kenshin performed a lightning-fast battōjutsu attack during his character preview.
Miguel leaned forward excitedly. "Damn, I haven't played Rurouni Kenshin in forever. ZEPS 2 days, man. That game was good!"
He watched another animation.
"All right, Kenshin gets a pass."
Then he moved on almost immediately.
"Next!"
The next purchase revealed an impossibly tall silver-haired swordsman carrying an enormous katana.
Miguel went silent.
Then slowly said:
"...Sephiroth."
The music preview even shifted into something considerably more threatening.
Miguel stared at the screen.
"Why the hell is Sephiroth in Sengoku Japan?"
Chat immediately answered with the only reasonable explanation.
BECAUSE ZAGE
Miguel nodded.
"Yeah. Fair enough."
He purchased another.
KAMEN RIDER RYUKI.
Miguel shouted. "OH!"
The armored Rider appeared with his sword and card-based equipment.
"Okay, that's fucking cool."
Next.
KAMEN RIDER BLACK RX.
Miguel immediately pointed toward the screen. "OH COME ON! NOW YOU'RE JUST TARGETING ME!"
Both Rider characters came from ZAGE's enormous tokusatsu ecosystem through Rekka Studio, and their inclusion clearly had absolutely nothing to do with the historical Sengoku setting.
That was becoming increasingly obvious.
Miguel purchased the next character.
A blonde woman wearing blue and silver armor appeared, holding an invisible sword before wind briefly revealed its outline.
ARTORIA PENDRAGON
Miguel blinked.
"The King?"
The chat immediately went insane.
SABER
SABER SABER SABER
BUY HER WEAPONS MIGUEL
Miguel nodded appreciatively. "Okay. She definitely looks good."
He paused.
"Strong. I mean strong."
Chat:
SURE
Miguel ignored them.
Next came Nura Rikuo, the young protagonist from Nurarihyon no Mago, another franchise connected directly to Zaboru's creative works. His character model shifted subtly between the more ordinary daytime appearance and his far more intimidating yōkai form during the preview.
Miguel whistled.
"That's clean."
Next—
RYU HAYABUSA.
Miguel immediately recognized him.
"Ninja Gaiden! HEY HOW I MISSED YOU RYU OHH! and Okay, this one actually fits way more than fucking Sephiroth."
Ryu performed an absurdly fast sword combo followed by a ninpo attack.
Miguel nodded rapidly.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's good."
After purchasing what the menu had initially shown as its eight special shop characters, Miguel expected that to be the end.
Instead—
NEW SECRET ENTRIES UNLOCKED.
Miguel froze.
"What?"
Two new silhouettes appeared.
Chat immediately exploded.
SECRET CHARACTERS
BUY THEM
DO IT
Miguel sighed. "ZAGE, you sneaky bastards."
He selected the first.
The screen went black.
Then a lone figure appeared.
A Black samurai with an enormous afro, dark clothing, a headband, and a sword resting against his shoulder.
The name appeared underneath.
AFRO SAMURAI
Miguel became quiet.
He leaned toward the television.
The preview animation began.
Afro drew his sword with a casual motion and sliced through several training targets before calmly returning the blade to its sheath.
Miguel whistled.
"Daaaaamn."
He watched again.
"Look at this design!"
Unlike many of the deliberately ridiculous Basara characters, Afro Samurai carried a completely different kind of coolness. Simple clothing, huge afro, sharp swordsmanship, almost no wasted movement.
Miguel grinned.
"Okay. Who the hell is this guy?"
Nobody in chat had an answer.
Because they weren't supposed to.
Afro Samurai was another idea Zaboru had brought from memories of his previous life, introduced here as a hidden guest fighter long before anyone in this world had an existing manga or anime to associate with him.
Miguel immediately purchased him.
Then only one secret silhouette remained.
He selected it.
The screen flashed.
A swordsman appeared wearing a traditional black hakama mixed with silver details, but his head was covered by an unmistakable black-and-silver helmet with a large stylized Z across the front.
Miguel stared.
"…No."
The character posed.
ZABO-MAN
Miguel stood from his chair.
"ZABORU-SAMAAAAA!"
The chat exploded again.
The character clearly wasn't literally Zaboru, but the joke was obvious. Zabo-Man was one of ZAGE's recurring joke identities, now reimagined as a ridiculous Sengoku swordsman with flashy techniques and attacks filled with stylized Z-shaped effects.
Miguel immediately bought him without checking the price because in his brain Zabo-man = Zaboru.
The chat noticed.
BRO DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE COST
HE BOUGHT ZABO-MAN INSTANTLY
Miguel pointed toward them. "Correct decision."
Once the purchases finished, a message appeared explaining that these special guest characters had no involvement in the main story. They existed purely as bonus fighters for free play, optional battles, leveling, multiplayer and additional challenges.
No explanations.
No attempt to justify why Sephiroth could fight beside Tokugawa Ieyasu.
No reason why two Kamen Riders could invade a Sengoku battlefield.
No explanation for Zhao Yun suddenly arriving from China.
They were there because it was fun.
Miguel understood immediately.
"Honestly?"
He nodded.
"I like it."
He returned to the character-selection screen and scrolled through the ridiculous collection.
Kenshin.
Zhao Yun.
Sephiroth.
Ryuki.
Black RX.
Artoria.
Rikuo.
Ryu Hayabusa.
Zabo-Man.
Then his cursor stopped.
Afro Samurai.
Miguel stared at the character.
Then looked toward his nearly Level 50 Date Masamune.
He slowly grinned.
"Guys…"
Chat immediately knew.
NO
MIGUEL DON'T ABANDON DATE
NEW MAIN INCOMING
Miguel selected Afro Samurai.
"LOOK AT MY NEW MAIN!"
The chat erupted.
Miguel laughed. "Date is almost max level anyway! I need somebody else to grind!"
He entered a stage with Afro still at Level 1.
"I'm leveling this bastard all the way up. I swear! SAMURAI WITH AFRO! BADASSERY HERE WE COOOME!!!"
The mission loaded.
Miguel leaned forward.
Afro drew his sword.
Several enemy soldiers approached.
Miguel pressed attack.
One clean slash cut through the first group.
His eyes widened.
"Oh."
Another combo.
A counter.
A fast draw slash.
Miguel's grin grew larger.
"Ohhhhh."
Chat immediately started laughing.
HE'S HOOKED
DATE GOT REPLACED IN 30 SECONDS
Miguel pointed toward the camera without looking away from the game.
"SHUT UP!"
Then Afro Samurai launched another group of soldiers into the air.
Miguel laughed loudly.
"HAHAHA! OKAY, THIS GUY IS SICK!"
And just like that, another multi-hour stream was practically guaranteed.
While Miguel continued slaughtering Sengoku soldiers with a character who absolutely did not belong anywhere near the Sengoku period, elsewhere Zaboru was finally back at home after his recent trip to the United States and messing with Bakudan Boys.
And Zaboru himself had several planning files open in front of him.
March was already finished.
Sengoku Basara and Gotcha Force had successfully joined the ZEPS 4 lineup.
Now his attention was moving forward.
April.
And after that—
June of ZEPS 4 games.
To be continued.
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