Settling down for a while, Shad Darc wondered about the sensation he had just experienced. It was too strange a feeling unlike anything he had ever known. It brought him peace, a rare calm that he usually only touched when sinking into the depths of his absolute depression. Yet here he was, feeling serenity without despair.
What to do… what to do, he thought. This has never happened before, not even during my deepest meditations. Only when I fall into that state I despise the absolute depression do I feel something close to this peace.
He frowned, pondering. Maybe it's because of this strange forest. But I can't jump to conclusions. I need to verify before I assume anything.
Exhaling deeply, Shad decided to repeat the breathing meditation he had performed earlier. If that meditation was responsible for the strange feeling, then doing it again should bring the same result. If not… then I'll have to search for another way.
He calmed his mind, slowed his heartbeat, and began inhaling and exhaling steadily. Ten seconds passed. Nothing. He remained patient, continuing for ten minutes. Still nothing. An hour slipped by, yet the sensation did not return.
Frustrated, he stopped. Why couldn't I feel it again? His thoughts circled without answers, leaving him unsettled. "What am I supposed to do?" he whispered, lying back on a wide branch and staring into the night sky. His mind felt blank, empty of ideas.
In that emptiness, he chose to meditate again not to replicate the sensation, nor to calm himself, but simply to exist in stillness. This meditation had no purpose, no meaning. It was the state he often fell into when he stopped thinking and feeling altogether, a place where his senses dulled and his mind became numb.
Shad called it his absolute depression. A state of emptiness he believed was tied to a mental disorder. His breathing slowed to a faint rhythm, so shallow it felt as though he had stopped breathing entirely. Yet within this void, he always found a peculiar peace he could never grasp in ordinary life.
But tonight, something was different. As he sank into that emptiness, the strange sensation returned stronger than before. It flowed through him, subtle yet undeniable. Normally, in this state, he felt nothing at all. But now, he felt everything.
His sense of self began to seep back into the void, merging awareness with emptiness. He was conscious, subconscious, and unconscious all at once, aware of the strange energy coursing through him.
In this eerie state, Shad gained a faint understanding of the feeling. It was not depression, nor illusion. It was something deeper, a force that touched his soul, mind, and body, binding them in tranquility.