I've heard it said before,
in every relationship,
the one who loves more
is the one who suffers more.
And I have searched for the remedy to that truth,
but I don't know if one exists.
Because no matter how balanced love tries to be,
someone always feels deeper,
waits longer,
forgives quicker,
stays softer.
Someone always loves a little more,
for reasons only their heart understands.
Maybe it's fear of losing.
Maybe it's gratitude for finding.
Maybe it's simply the way they are wired,
to give without measuring,
to care without calculating.
But how do you protect a heart
that naturally loves more?
How do you tell it to feel less
without turning it cold?
And then there's that phrase people throw around so easily:
All is fair in love and war.
But I've come to realize
they rarely mean fairness in emotion.
They mean strategy.
They mean tactics.
They mean doing whatever it takes to win.
Winning wars is rarely fair.
Winning love isn't either.
Because sometimes love requires vulnerability,
and vulnerability looks like weakness
to someone who treats it like a battlefield.
Yes, the emotions might feel justified.
The goal might feel pure.
The desire to be chosen might feel urgent.
But that does not make cruelty fair.
All is fair in love and war
does not mean manipulation is allowed.
It does not mean underhanded tricks,
emotional games,
or calculated silence
are justified in the name of affection.
It does not mean becoming evil
just because you are afraid of losing.
If love requires deception to survive,
then it was never love,
it was competition.
If love demands you wound someone
to secure their loyalty,
then it was never fair,
it was fear dressed as strategy.
We said all is fair,
not anything is permitted.
There is a difference.
Love should not feel like war.
And if it does,
then perhaps the goal should not be to win,
but to walk away
with your heart still kind,
still honest,
still whole.