The next morning.
Akio lay flat on his back, eyes closed. His eyelids twitched once. To anyone watching, he was still asleep.
In reality, he'd been awake for several minutes.
After years of squinting by habit, it was impossible to tell whether he was dozing or fully alert. He could lie there motionless and fool just about anyone.
He sat up slowly, replaying last night's events in his head.
"This defies logic," he muttered. "And it definitely defies ninja common sense."
The previous evening, after Team Seven finished their ramen and went their separate ways, Akio had intercepted Sakura on the road.
No theatrics. No mysterious fog. No ominous voice echoing from the shadows.
He appeared in his true form and got straight to the point.
"You're going to hold Naruto and Sasuke back at this rate. I've prepared four training paths for you. Pick one."
Sakura had already been worrying about exactly that. Hearing this, she lit up immediately and thanked him politely.
What her inner voice was thinking, however, was another matter entirely.
Akio couldn't read that part.
With two distinct sides to her personality, Sakura was a wild card. If she truly specialized in genjutsu, she might one day become so mentally disciplined she could break her own illusions, maybe even shrug off something as brutal as Tsukuyomi.
Since the choice would shape her future, Sakura took it seriously. She read through the four manuals again and again, face tense with indecision.
Then
She returned one.
A clever move.
Akio had to suppress a laugh. He wasn't too bothered. They were foundational texts anyway, streamlined and improved from standard academy material, but nothing earth-shattering.
Sakura was academically gifted. She'd master the basics quickly. Eventually, though, she wouldn't be able to spread herself thin forever. She'd need to focus.
But when he saw which manual she'd handed back
His mood soured instantly.
Grandmaster's Fist.
"No taste," Akio grumbled now, pulling the rejected manual from beneath his pillow.
Eighteen illustrated movement diagrams filled the pages dynamic, dramatic, beautifully drawn.
At least, in his opinion.
He stood up, frowning thoughtfully.
"Kakashi knows the form. He might teach it to all three of them. You think you can dodge destiny?"
He made a quick breakfast, then rummaged through the kitchen. Finding a metal spatula, he snapped the handle off cleanly and weighed the flat steel head in his palm.
"Perfect prop."
He smiled.
"Curtain rises soon."
Outside Training Ground Seven.
Akio stepped out and blocked Naruto's path with theatrical secrecy.
"Old Man? What are you doing here? Don't tell me Kakashi-sensei's been replaced and you're running the test instead?"
Akio's face twitched.
The brat had learned sarcasm?
But Naruto's expression was genuinely worried. Years of "special training" had taught him one thing: Great-Grandpa was not to be messed with.
"I don't have that kind of free time," Akio snorted. "I brought you a secret weapon. With this, you'll pass for sure."
Naruto's eyes sparkled. "Seriously?!"
"Would I lie? Listen carefully…"
"Eh?!"
The sun climbed higher.
Akio retreated into his dimensional observation space. Preparations were complete. All that remained was to enjoy the show.
On the field below, the four actors were in position.
Kakashi idly tossed two bells in his hand and explained the rules.
Akio watched as Sakura's face grew paler by the second.
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance.
Then, in eerie sync, they both looked at Sakura.
Her complexion went ghost-white.
Kakashi frowned slightly. He hadn't anticipated this tension.
Then both boys spoke at once.
"Idiot Naruto"
"Jerk Sasuke"
"Looks like you're headed back to the Academy!"
Inside his hidden space, Akio clapped in delight.
"Kakashi must be admiring my genius right now. Putting Sakura between those two was a masterstroke. Instant team harmony."
Kakashi, in fact, was developing a headache. Why had he ended up with the two most difficult students in the village on the same squad?
"Begin!"
"Give me those bells, Kakashi-sensei! Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Naruto formed seals at top speed. A dozen clones burst into existence and charged.
Akio had taught him the technique a year earlier, netting a tidy forty Witness Points at the time.
"No change at the opening," Akio murmured. "Or rather, Naruto's personality hasn't changed."
Sakura and Sasuke vanished into cover.
Naruto swarmed Kakashi with clones.
One palm strike.
Another.
Pop. Pop. Pop.
Two kunai suddenly shot in from an extremely tight angle
Only to strike a substitution log.
Kakashi turned his head slightly toward the attack's origin. Sasuke had already relocated.
"Kakashi-sensei! Eyes up here!"
Kakashi chopped another clone apart. "Naruto, this won't work."
From his hidden vantage point, Akio squinted.
"That's it, Naruto. Charge head-on. Don't worry about openings."
"Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!"
Two flaming shuriken spun toward Kakashi.
He calmly drew a kunai, channeling lightning chakra to deflect them one by one.
"A B-rank technique already?" he muttered. "This team won't be easy to manage."
"Got you!" Naruto shouted triumphantly.
Another palm strike.
From the bushes, Sakura watched helplessly. She couldn't meaningfully intervene.
But at least
She hurled two kunai.
The battle intensified. Naruto and Sasuke began coordinating without words, pressuring Kakashi from both sides.
Kakashi remained relaxed.
At one point, he even pulled out his infamous orange paperback and started reading mid-fight.
Naruto growled. "You've gotta be kidding me!"
Feigning rage, he charged forward, his real body this time.
Kakashi sidestepped lightly.
Naruto barreled past, leaving his back completely exposed.
Kakashi closed his book and crouched slightly, fingers forming a tiger seal.
A faint smile curved beneath his mask.
"Hidden Leaf Secret Taijutsu, One Thousand Years of Pain."
"Idiot Naruto! Move!" Sakura screamed.
Ping.
Kakashi's eyes flew wide.
"Steel plate? Akio-senpai…!"
Naruto twisted around with a wicked grin.
"Great-Grandpa was right! Kakashi-sensei's a serial butt-stabber! Sasuke now!"
In the observation space, Akio's smile froze.
"You little traitor."
Then he waved it off.
"Doesn't matter. The divergence points are secured wait. Wait, wait, wait—"
Outside, Sasuke and Sakura seized the opening and lunged simultaneously from opposite sides.
Kakashi's fingers were still lodged against Naruto's reinforced backside, tingling unpleasantly.
Seeing Naruto twist to counterattack as well, Kakashi's brow twitched.
Lightning crackled at his fingertips.
And then
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Naruto's scream echoed across the training ground for what felt like a mile.
Sasuke and Sakura skidded to a halt, chilled to the bone.
Their teacher…
Was terrifying.
Before Akio's eyes, glowing text appeared:
Witnessed and slightly altered a side event in the Naruto world: One Thousand Years of Pain.
Witness Points gained: 5 (×2).
Akio stared blankly.
"So this is what they mean by 'the best-laid plans go sideways'?"
Then his expression darkened.
"But seriously, Kakashi… what kind of grudge do you have against Naruto?"
"Lightning Release? Really?"