On the fair planet of Alderaan, the weather was idyllic, and the sunshine was pristine. The sun lingered low over the horizon, painting a vast lake in strokes of rose-gold and violet. Water lapped gently at the edges of a smooth stone outcrop where Obi-Wan Kenobi sat cross-legged. His boots were dusty from a long walk through the meadows. The air was cool and smelled of pine, whilst birds happily chirped in the distance.
A shimmering figure stood beside him. Shining a soft, pale blue-white, was a robed middle aged man. Qui-Gon Jin wore a knowing smile that hadn't changed in over twenty years since he accepted Obi-Wan as his student.
"You still prefer meditating near water?" Qui-Gon Jinn remarked.
Obi-Wan smiled faintly, his eyes focused on the seemingly empty body of water, yet his senses unveiled thousands of lifeforms just out of sight. "You once told me the Living Force is clearest where life is unseen."
"And you argued that it was most present in motion." Qui-Gon gently intoned, his words carried a hint of playfulness in them, like an old friend reliving nostalgia.
"I still believe that." Obi-Wan murmured. "But I've learned to appreciate stillness." As Obi-Wan said that, he recalled all of the lessons he had imparted to Anakin, and a brief pain swelled in his heart.
Anakin's courage, his recklessness, the chaos of it all drove him nearly to insanity, yet he would trade in his lightsaber and robes if it meant having his brother back again.
Qui-Gon stepped closer, his translucent form placed a hand on Obi's shoulder, and although he felt nothing physically, the warmth of a father was transmitted through Qui-Gon's touch. "You've grown wiser, Obi-Wan. And older."
"Not all of us can cheat time." Obi-Wan tried to lift his lips in the facsimile of a smile, but the hurt was too much.
Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "I haven't cheated. I simply am. One day, I shall fade into the Force as all beings do. It is no great peril, dying that is. In fact, there is a beauty to it. In due time, we all become one with the Force." Qui-Gon said in a soft, comforting manner.
A long, peaceful silence stretched between them. Birds sang somewhere in the trees behind them, and fish created ripples in the lake. The sunlight was briefly covered by a passing cloud, and a sense of nature, and belonging encompassed the two men.
The quiet was healing. For Obi-Wan, simply spending a minute with his mentor was a balm to the soul. For the last five years, he had experienced more tragedy than he had ever expected. Countless deaths, people he couldn't save, and more…they weighed heavily on his psyche.
"I used to come to lakes like this with the other initiates." Obi-Wan said quietly, his eyes became unfocused as he recalled simpler times. "When I was a boy. Master Drallig would take us camping for 'discipline training.' I fell into the water more than once." Obi-Wan said in a wistful tone.
Memories of Shaak Ti Force Pushing him into a watering hole whilst other children laughed came to mind. A small smile graced his bearded face as he recalled getting revenge by having her recite the Jedi Code 50 times in a row as punishment when Drallig 'conveniently' discovered that she hadn't made her bed. That had elicited more than a few chuckles.
"You were never the most graceful Padawan. Rules to you, were more important than social relations." Qui-Gon replied with a smirk.
"But I was the most determined. Your tutelage pointed out my weaknesses, I owe much of my growth to you, my Master." Obi-Wan added, and Qui-Gon nodded, but also shook his head.
"You never gave up. Even when the Council doubted you. Even when I did."
Obi-Wan looked up, startled by his candor.
"You never said-"
"I should have." Qui-Gon said with a whisper. "But you proved me wrong before I had the chance. You always had a strength the rest of us missed. You never sought power, Obi-Wan, but you had a quiet duty to the Order, and a sense of responsibility that was truly admirable."
Obi-Wan looked down in melancholy and shame. "I wasn't strong when it counted. I couldn't save you, I couldn't save, Satine…or Anakin. You were right to doubt me."
Qui-Gon's smile softened.
"Oh Obi, you are too hard on yourself. We all loved you, and were better for having you in our lives. The fault does not belong solely with you. I too, take some blame in this."
"What?! Master, no-"
"No, Obi. We had Maul where we wanted him, with nowhere to escape. We could have taken him together. I should not have left you. For that, I am truly sorry." Qui-Gon bowed.
Obi-Wan wanted to help him up, but his hands passed helplessly through Qui-Gon's blue form. A single tear fell down his face into his beard. He wanted to continue to rebut his master, but the harmonious feelings being transmitted through the Force, and his sincerity were so potent, Obi-Wan could only keep his mouth shut tight.
Eventually sighing, Obi-Wan once more looked out into the endless sea of water, and tried to calm his mind.
"I am so sorry, Obi. I know how important the Order is to you. But that doesn't mean you couldn't pursue alternatives. You and Satine, you had something worth protecting. When I witnessed her death, my heart wept for you."
Obi-Wan wiped his tears, and laughed to cover up his melancholy. "You were watching then? Did you know, even when I was a Padawan?"
"I'm not blind, Obi-Wan. I saw it in the way you looked at her. How she made you question things that you had always believed to be fact. If you said something was red, she said it was blue. If the sky was dark, you would claim it bright, just to be contrarian. You were beautiful together, when in her presence, your star shined brightest."
Obi-Wan folded his hands in his lap, the serenity of the lake began to ripple inside him as he processed his Masters words. "I loved her." He said, his words were soft, and stated without any doubts. "And I still left. I told myself it was the Jedi way, but sometimes... sometimes I wonder if I was just afraid."
"She loved you too." Qui-Gon said, gently. "And she understood why you chose the path you did. But love-true love-doesn't disappear just because we walk away from it. There is nothing wrong with love, Obi. The galaxy would be a better place if the Jedi, if all beings realized this truth."
A silence once again permeated the air. This time, however, it was even heavier than the last one. Several clouds in the horizon turned black, and crackled with electricity. Distant booms of thunder interrupted this idyllic lakeside, and several birds scattered in fear.
After some time, both men resumed their discussion. This time, however, a light drizzle was beginning to fall upon them.
"I think." Obi-Wan said slowly. "That I pushed Anakin harder because I saw too much of myself in him. The same feelings for perfection, for belonging. The same temptations of love, and revenge. And I told him to suppress them because that's what I did. And it destroyed him." Obi-Wan whispered in a haunted tone.
Qui-Gon turned, his voice was quiet, but firm. "No, Obi-Wan. It wasn't your love for Satine that destroyed Anakin. It wasn't your fear. It was his fear. His refusal to accept loss. You pressured him, certainly, and the expectations placed upon his shoulders were steep, but Anakin is Anakin, and you, my student, are Obi-Wan. Ultimately, his decisions were his own. You have made me proud."
"But I trained him." Obi-Wan's voice cracked. "I raised him. He was a boy, one terrified for his mother, and suffered scrutiny from the entire Order from the beginning. Mace constantly challenged him, and frequently skirted the rules. I tried to mold him into something he wasn't ready to be. I thought I could be both brother and father, and I was neither. I failed him. You should have been his Master, not me." Obi-Wan pursued his lips, and hung his head in shame.
Qui-Gon knelt before him, the ghostly blue of his 'body' glowed in the golden light of the setting sun, and exuded feelings of hope, love, and acceptance.
"You were the best father he could have had. And the best brother. When I said you were ready to be a Jedi Knight, I meant every word of it. The past decade has only reinforced my vision. You, Obi-Wan, are a consummate Jedi. The pride of the Order, and my greatest success in life. You are special, Obi, a great man, and one who has saved more lives than I ever have. Mistakes are meant to be learned from, my friend."
"I saw good in him once. I see only darkness now." Obi-Wan mindlessly responded, as if Qui-Gon's counsel had gone unnoticed.
"There is still light in him yet." Qui-Gon said. "It is flickering, and buried deep under pain…But it is not for you to bring it out. Not now."
Obi-Wan looked up, pain in his eyes. "Then what can I do?"
Qui-Gon stood.
"Bring balance to the Force. Protect the innocent. And confront what must be confronted. You cannot redeem Anakin Skywalker...but you can stop Darth Vader."
The words struck like lightning in Obi-Wan's chest. A quiet resolve rose behind his sorrow. The stillness of the lake faded away as the approaching storm brought with it the chaos of change. The man he saw reflected in the choppy water was no longer the weak willed man that had sat down at the lake's edge. He was the last line between darkness and light.
Obi-Wan rose, brushing dust from his robes.
"I don't want to kill him." He said.
"I know." Qui-Gon replied in a calm, pitying tone.
"But if that's what it takes to protect the future...I will do what I must."
Qui-Gon nodded slowly, his eyes filled with sorrow, and pride.
"You are ready, my Padawan. Go to Eriadu, confront your fears. Make new friends. Bring the Order to new heights."
Obi-Wan looked one last time at the lake, letting the wind carry away the ache in his chest.
"I've missed you."
Qui-Gon smiled, already beginning to fade into the light. "I'll always be by your side, Obi. Never forget that."
And then he was gone.
Only the lake remained. Thunder boomed, and rain began to soak his robes, yet Obi-Wan himself didn't feel a drop of water touch his skin. It was as if the Force itself had recognized him, and protected him from the elements.
The pain in his heart, the uncertainty that plagued his psyche, they all retreated to the fore as he stood strong and proud before the winds of the storm.
He was Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight, and sworn protector of the Republic. So long as he drew breath, the Jedi would never end, and the Sith would never rule the galaxy.
'For the Order, Satine, Padme…and yes, even for you, Anakin.' Obi-Wan thought to himself, and held a hand up towards the storm.
Thunder roared, and Judgment arced into the sky, purifying the world.
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AN: Read upto chapter 234 at: patreon.com/KarpQQ
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