I woke up slowly.
At that very moment, a sharp pain gnawed at my neck, a sensation of death—I couldn't breathe. A rope around my neck was the death sentence.
I desperately tried to free myself from it. I grabbed the rope... tried to stretch it, to break it, but every movement only made it worse. My nails broke in the attempt, my fingers completely bloodied, and eventually they gave in to the lack of oxygen...
My vision was blurry. I was in the final seconds before giving in...
Suddenly... a violent jolt through my entire body woke me up.
I had fallen to the floor.
When I properly regained consciousness, I noticed it: a rope around my neck, and on the ceiling, the rest of it, now lying broken...
—I... wanted to...?
—No... Why?
I looked around me—the apartment, my apartment. There was nothing out of the ordinary.
I checked my body and found something... in my pocket... a letter.
Now I remembered everything. That letter—I had written it before all of this... before hell.
Like a farewell...
An act in which I tried to unburden myself.
...
I checked the front door... it was now open. I checked the bathroom, and there was nothing...
I left my apartment, and there was nothing strange... at last, I had escaped the nightmares...
But despite the visibility outside... something was different...
I was incapable of seeing.
I couldn't properly make out the outside world; everything was blurry. The feeling of panic only grew as I tried to force my vision.
However, the blurry image began to transform into an increasingly darker one. Little by little, the outside was being consumed by gloom...
Now I knew perfectly well that I wasn't alone in the apartment—my little one was with me.
I entered my room looking for my daughter, afraid that something might happen to her.
There she lay, my lit—
—She's not here.
My little girl wasn't in her crib...
For a moment, fear overwhelmed me, but... my memories held the answer.
—There was no way you could have known, darling...
—She didn't survive either...
Neither of them did.
I always knew...
I lost them both on the same day.
...
There was no reason to continue this existence.
I searched the room until I found it—a gun. One bullet.
—I'm sorry, darling...
—I can't...
—No... not without you...
...
With trembling hands, I raised the weapon, ready to fire, one movement away from ending everything.
...
"We're going to be the best parents, right, darling?"
...
My hands went numb. No matter how much I ordered them to pull the trigger, I couldn't do it...
—She wouldn't have wanted that. She never would have forgiven me if I had done it...
—I can't throw my life away...
I let the gun fall...
Slowly, I left the apartment, putting distance between myself and everything.
—I'm not going to forget them. I need to remember them.
—They made me who I am now.
Little by little, the door to my apartment faded behind me...
And as I walked without turning back, I didn't need to look over my shoulder to see them one last time...
They're with me. I can feel their presence beside me...
...
Already at the building's exit, before taking a step outside, a fleeting memory surfaced—a memory, a letter, a scar that would leave me marked forever.
I must learn to live with it. I need to move forward...
I remembered that letter... the one I wrote before hell, before the nightmares...
...
"Forgive me, darling. I know you've been dead for a few months now, but even so, I want to write you this letter to apologize.
I promised to be a great husband. I promised to be an excellent father...
But I haven't been able to fulfill either promise, and honestly, I don't want to try again with anyone who isn't you.
I tried to cope with your loss, with the loss of our daughter, but every day I dreamed about you. Even in my nightmares I relived the same thing over and over again. If only I had stopped you, if only we hadn't taken that trip.
If only I had never met you, maybe you'd still be alive. Maybe you'd be living happily...
I miss you...
If we hadn't gotten engaged in that beautiful ceremonial forest, perhaps...
Just perhaps you'd still be alive, happy, living for many more years...
It was my fault...
Only my fault...
I caused your death. I killed you...
For several months I was trapped in the same nightmares and memories. I even sold our house in an attempt to start over...
I've gone to visit you and our daughter. I buried you together so that you could remain beside one another. I don't know if I'll be able to join you, but I don't want to continue without you anymore.
If hell exists, then I deserve to be tortured in the worst ways imaginable, with no way to escape. I deserve it...
Forgive me, darling.
I hope both of you are happy, together in heaven.
The rope... awaits me.
I no longer have any hope in myself.
I love you."