Old Yang and Dan Heng — the only two critically endangered specimens of reliability amid the chaos of a middle-aged man and an unhinged, abstract-brained youth — both kept sensible hours. Early to bed, early to rise, the picture of wholesome self-care.
Neither was the type to stay up watching horror livestreams. Besides, the battle between DanteMon and Goss and Yue'er had taken place inside the illusory labyrinth realm, and the energy fluctuations had been dampened by the boundary between the illusion and reality.
Old Welt, ever the seasoned veteran, and Dan Heng — who had finally managed to extricate himself from the scheming, deeply tangled internal affairs of the Vidyadhara and was catching up on a long-overdue proper night's sleep — had no idea what had unfolded the previous evening.
In the wake of re-sealing the Ambrosial Arbor, and after enduring a string of exhausting incidents including an assassination attempt by factions within the Vidyadhara, Dan Heng had taken the rare luxury of sleeping in.
The Express crew and the others had told him before: if he ever needed help, just call. But Dan Heng had no desire to drag his companions into the internal disputes of the Vidyadhara. It wasn't entirely about worrying for their wellbeing — he was also a little worried that the Express crew might decide to make things interesting and blow up something spectacular among the Vidyadhara. Out of consideration for his own people, it was better not to let those two run amok.
All in all, he could still handle things on his own.
After getting up and washing his face, Dan Heng reached for his phone out of habit to check the weather.
Team Star Rail and March staying out all night was nothing unusual — par for the course. On a normal Trailblaze journey, everyone spent most of the time splitting off and doing their own thing. Even Stelle and March 7th weren't glued together every waking moment; Little March often wandered off on her own, hunting for the perfect photography spot.
If even Seele and Bronya had stayed out all night, there was only one explanation: the Express crew had found something entertaining and dragged everyone along for the ride.
— Thinking exactly that, Dan Heng was about to close his phone when a news notification popped up on screen.
Assuming it was just the app's routine news feed, Dan Heng paid it no mind — until his gaze drifted over it and snagged on two keywords.
"Giant of Light? Magical girl?"
Why on earth were two things from completely different aesthetic universes appearing in the same headline?
Giant of Light — Ultraman — wasn't that the special life-form that Stelle transformed into?
"..."
A bad feeling suddenly bloomed in Dan Heng's chest. He tapped the notification without hesitation — and then fell into silence.
Fyxestroll Garden. Demons. Monsters. A compassionate warrior. A magical girl…
A pile of information, some true, some dubious, came crashing down on him all at once. Dan Heng felt his entire being go numb.
He'd just — for the first time in ages — gone to bed with a relaxed mind and slept in a little. That's all!
He hadn't slept for years, had he?!
How had things gotten this big?!
Dan Heng immediately called Caelus. No answer. He switched to try Stelle's number instead.
He hesitated for a second, then decided to round up Welt — who had come to the Express to help pick out a courtyard — and Himeko, who had been putting her own room in order, and head out to find everyone while calling along the way.
But before he'd had a chance to fill Himeko and Welt in on what had happened the previous night, the whole gang came trooping back in a crowd.
The atmosphere was light and cheerful, brimming with easy laughter — as if nothing had happened at all. Dan Heng went blank for a moment.
For a single instant he wondered whether the notification on his phone had been fake — a one-picture headline with everything else made up. That sort of thing had become rarer in recent decades, but it still happened.
But then his eyes landed on the child in March 7th's arms, and his bewilderment curdled into shock.
Tap, tap~!
Himeko startled so hard her hand convulsed. Her white porcelain coffee cup dropped and struck the saucer with a sharp, clear ring.
[Old Yang, armchair, newspaper.jpg]
He stared at the toddler in March 7th's arms for a full second, stupefied, before his newspaper — the retro, nostalgic paper kind — fluttered down to the floor.
If it had been an older child or even a young boy, the direction their imaginations ran might have been somewhat broader. But this was a toddler who, by any estimate, hadn't even reached the age to enroll in elementary school among the short-lived species — far, far too young.
The very first thought in anyone's mind was: this is Caelus's child.
The resemblance was uncanny — practically stamped from the same mold. On top of that, none of the three knew about the Universal Synthesizer Caelus had pulled from a new draw before heading to Fyxestroll Garden, let alone that food made by the Synthesizer came with all manner of effects.
What's more — the three of them had just heard a tiny, milky little voice calling out "Mama" moments ago. Himeko had even asked Welt whether there was someone else in the courtyard. Old Yang had said no, and Himeko had been on the verge of going out to check once she finished her coffee — and then the coffee had been startled out of her hands.
Dan Heng's expression was one of absolute, bewildered incomprehension. Had he truly slept for years?
Caelus's child was already this big?
Which raised the obvious question — if this was Caelus's child, then who was the mother?
It was, in theory, a multiple-choice question. The options weren't that many.
Going by the "clues" in front of them: the child showed virtually zero genetic influence from any potential mother — in biological terms, the contribution was vanishingly small.
Which meant there was, naturally, only one possible answer.
The mother was Stelle — whose genes, down to the very atoms composing her body, were identical to Caelus's — which was why the child looked exactly like him.
Working from incomplete information, triangulating the most probable conclusion within the logical framework from all available clues, in under one second.
Welt, Himeko, and Dan Heng's pupils simultaneously began to tremble.
The Express family knew the relationship between Stelle and Caelus inside and out. Sharing a bed between the two of them — well, it wasn't as if anyone had grounds to say anything. There was no precedent for it anywhere in the universe.
And honestly, just paying attention to the atmosphere whenever the two of them were together was enough to make anyone envious. Perhaps another version of yourself truly was the most perfect partner imaginable — bar none.
But having children with yourself — wasn't that just a little too avant-garde?
Himeko / Old Yang / Dan Heng: I don't understand! And yet I am utterly shaken!
"Sister Himeko, when did you get here~?"
March 7th, cradling Little Caelus in a textbook infant-carrying hold, called out in cheerful greeting.
Caelus, for his part, was playing the role of the Masked Fool — and had clocked the three frozen, shell-shocked expressions the instant they walked in. Four simultaneous threads of analysis later, he'd figured out exactly what they'd misunderstood.
Caelus curled up in March 7th's arms and his expression turned abruptly, gravely serious. He glanced over at the gray-haired girl trailing behind March 7th, and two pairs of identical golden eyes met.
As if by some unspoken telepathy, the smile on Stelle's bright face gave way to matching solemnity. They exchanged a perfectly synchronized Ultraman nod.
"Sister Himeko! Old Yang! Dan Heng! Look what I brought back — isn't it adorable~? This is..."
Her words were cut off.
"Mama~ Mama~"
Caelus was nestled into the curve of March 7th's neck, his soft little face nuzzling against her collarbone. His round, luminous golden eyes shimmered with tiny flickers of spirit energy, and he murmured in a small, milky voice:
"...Who are these aunties and uncles?"
Clunk!
Mama?!
Aunties and uncles?!
March 7th froze solid as a statue on the spot. The words of protest jammed in her throat. She could only watch, helpless, as Little Caelus blinked his long lashes — looking up with wide, timid eyes.
He had the tip of one finger tucked into his mouth. His soft, pink little cheeks puffed with each tiny movement. And when March 7th's arms brought him slightly closer to Himeko and the others, he let out a small, flustered squeak and burrowed deeper into her embrace.
—Obliterated. By cuteness.
Himeko, who had been reaching for her coffee to steady her nerves, clunked the bone china cup down on the tea table with a bang instead. A few drops of dark brown coffee splashed over the rim.
"This, this… ahem. So — this is March and Caelus's child?"
Old Yang, who had been bent over picking up the newspaper, accidentally tore a corner clean off it.
"Since when?"
Dan Heng equipped his Light Cone, found only silence, then unequipped it again: "Why didn't you tell everyone beforehand?"
Scorched by three pairs of deeply peculiar eyes, March 7th finally snapped back to reality. The tips of her ears flushed a hot, wine-soaked red. She sputtered and stumbled over her words in flustered denial:
"It's not — it's not me..."
She was cut off again. Caelus flung his tiny arms around March 7th's neck and clung on like a baby bird gripping a branch. His golden eyes misted over with a watery shimmer, his lashes trembling, his voice going small and choked:
"Mama~ You don't want me anymore?"
The last note quivered like a candy wrapper crumpled by the wind. His little shoulders hitched in tiny, heaving sobs — the picture of an abandoned kitten left in a rain-soaked alley, eyes brimming with fear about to spill over.
Now THAT is acting. (Tactical backstep!)
"Ah Qi, how could you?! Even if you and Caelus-cub had a fight, the child has nothing to do with it!"
Stelle planted one hand sharply on her hip, her gray hair swishing behind her as her golden eyes went wide and round: "Ah Qi, how could you?! Even if you two had a fight, you can't just abandon the child!"
Without missing a beat, she shifted into a soft, gentle tone, spread her arms, and scooped Little Caelus away from March 7th:
"Come here~ Little Prayer-Star, into Star-Mama's arms. Tomorrow Star-Mama will do your hair in twin tails — definitely cuter than your mama's pink twin tails~ And I'll buy you the new crystal lollipops, the kind you can lick all day!"
Stelle's palm gently patted Little Caelus's back with soft, reassuring pats, coaxing the child who looked about to cry.
"You guys… I… "
March 7th turned to look at Stelle like a rusty robot grinding and creaking to life, her pink-blue eyes going wide, her utterly bamboozled brain already starting to short-circuit.
Using Stelle's body as cover, Caelus touched the spatial ring on Stelle's finger and retrieved from it the gift Asta had given him — a pocket photo printer, a Polaroid-type, for personal household use.
He channeled just a sliver of the Jizo Mitama's power and combined it with the Aether Editing Bronya had prepared in advance.
To avoid the sound of the printer giving them away, Caelus pressed the start button and immediately tucked the device back into the spatial ring — then simply pulled the finished photographs directly out.
As a Masked Fool, the details made or broke everything.
Then, in a perfectly natural motion, he let the photos slip out of a pocket and scatter to the floor.
March 7th was still stuttering her "I didn't — it wasn't me—"
The words hadn't even left her mouth when March 7th, Himeko, Welt, and Dan Heng all caught sight of the photographs scattered across the floor.
They were a series of images that looked, in every way, like photos of a family of three.
A gray-haired young man hoisting the child high in the air. A pink-haired girl smiling softly at the side.
The child nestled in March 7th's arms, her expression warm and full of maternal tenderness. Caelus's arms wrapped around March 7th from behind.
Casual daily-life snapshots of the two of them dressing the child together.
March 7th's eyes went wide.
Because her image in those photos — it was real.
But the photos themselves weren't entirely real.
These were photographs taken earlier in the children's clothing shop while they were all tormenting Caelus — but how had the backgrounds ended up like that?!
Simple: Bronya had Photoshopped them with Aether Editing and good old-fashioned hacking skills~!
"March, you have always been the sunshine of this Express crew. But something as important as a child — how could you have kept it from us?" Himeko admonished her in a warm but firm tone.
"March can get a little excitable from time to time, but the word responsibility…" Welt's mouth opened and closed, his glasses catching the light and obscuring the helpless look in his eyes. "I trust you know where your priorities lie."
March 7th: "..."
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