It's so strange how a completely different planet can have a beach that feels so familiar.
The sand is a bright yellow-white, different from what I remember from my time in Oregon. The air is humid, but not in a way that makes my hair frizz, and it doesn't smell of salt or of anything at all, really. It's just... clean, clear, wet air.
Everywhere else on the planet doesn't make me feel nostalgic. This place feels...
More like home. Even if it's nothing like the tightly packed sand or the frigid water that used to soak my legs when I would walk along the shore.
The plantlife is more alien than I'm used to, despite the general feeling of palm trees and other tropical plants. Some of them look like trees, but they're actually some kind of massive flowering plant, because their 'trunks' are covered in thick, fleshy petals. There's some kind of spiny looking shrubs that I thought looked like cactus, but Llywelyn said they're not.
I haven't really been able to focus on any of it, though.
I've been here before. On the way to the Galactic Center I'd come out here instead of to the museum. This time we're only out here for a short while after spending most of the visit at that museum.
Last time I was here, I'd nearly drowned.
Llywelyn swam out somewhere far from shore and showed me that beautiful biolouminescent whale and let me hold its calf and I got so distracted that I didn't even notice how long I'd been under until it was too late.
It was...
Well, most of it was a pleasant experience. Until the drowning.
Of course, it was also the first time he kissed me...
Even if it was for the purpose of breathing for me.
I blush just thinking about it.
I can't look at the water without thinking about that kiss.
I know it wasn't a romantic kiss. He'd just been giving me air. But I know what it's like when he kisses me romantically, now, and it's not so different.
"Hetchki, if you're going to stare at the water like that, I'm not gonna drag your sorry body back to shore a second time." Llywelyn mutters, pulling me out of my thoughts. "We're here to relax on the beach, not drown."
I glance over at him. He's sitting a few feet away from me, his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He looks relaxed but tense at the same time. Like he's forcing himself to be calm. His veins are glowing faintly, a soft blue.
I think...
It's because he'd like to be in the water but he's restraining himself. For me.
That makes me feel... special. In a way. But also guilty. He doesn't get many opportunities to swim in a real ocean. It must be extremely different from the pools and baths and ponds that Xilukulkas has on his moon.
And I'm keeping him from enjoying it.
I bite my lip and look at him. "I'm not going to drown." I say, trying to sound confident. "Go on into the water, I'll just stay on the shore this time."
"You said that last time." He points out, his eyes narrowing. "And look where that got us."
"You invited me out there."
I've rarely seen a man so offended by something he absolutely knows is the truth. His ears flutter and he looks at me with a glare. "I didn't expect you to become so... fascinated that you forgot you require air!"
"I didn't realize I had."
"I cannot comprehend you sometimes." He grumbles. "I really cannot."
"Just go. You want to swim. Mira's out there already. Go swim."
"Don't tell me what to do, Sarah! I'll get in the fis'ia water when I want to, and not a moment sooner."
I stare at him.
And he stares back.
And then his ears flick and he has the good sense to look a bit ashamed of himself. He clears his throat and looks away, his veins brightening a bit. "I don't feel like it. Stop asking me."
I reach out and touch his fingers with mine. "I just don't want you to miss—"
"I know." His voice is firmer. Insistent. And his gold eyes flick over to me. "Now let me decide what I want.." He presses his fingers against mine, and then looks away again. "I don't want to swim. Now."
Still not looking, he tugs my hand, which makes me lurch sideways toward him from where I'm sitting. He moves his arm and I sort of fall into his side. He wraps his arm around me and tugs me even closer against him.
I'm not used to being so openly held by him. He's plenty affectionate when we're alone. Maybe even excessively. And I've certainly provoked him into displays in public but...
On a public, occupied beach, with other aliens walking around?
I think this might be the most public display I've ever had with him.
It makes me feel...
Warm. And a bit nervous. And I think my heart might be beating way too fast.
I tuck my head against his chest and sigh. He's warm and solid and smells good. His veins pulse under my cheek. I can feel his heartbeat too. It's steady and calm.
This is nice.
I could stay like this for hours. At least until the sun goes down and it gets so chilly that I'd free to death just trying to huddle with him like this. Or until the high tide arrives and sweeps us away. Though I imagine Llywelyn could handle that pretty well.
But those...
Those are not romantic enough thoughts for what I feel in his arms like this.
Not nearly enough.
His other hand settles on my ear, holding me there.
He murmurs. "There are things I like more than swimming, you know."
I hadn't doubted that. I wasn't even considering or suggesting that he might want to swim more than he might care about me or...
Whatever he thinks he's trying to say.
Yet still....
It feels a little bit different. Hearing him say it like that.
I can't immediately come up with an answer.