I woke up to the very distinct, deeply concerning realization that I could not move. Not in a dramatic, existential crisis kind of way, and not in a philosophical "my limbs have betrayed me" sense either—this was practical, immediate, and very real. I was pinned.
On my left, Lumine had one leg draped over mine like she had legally claimed it under some ancient contract I definitely did not sign. On my right, Nilou had both arms wrapped around mine, hugging it like it was a treasured artifact she had no intention of returning.
And to complete the masterpiece of my complete and utter immobilization, Paimon was sitting directly on my head like a decorative crown with zero respect for personal space.
I stared at the ceiling for a long second, letting the situation fully register, then another second just to confirm that this was, in fact, reality and not some weird dream sequence. Left leg: confiscated. Right arm: stolen. Head: occupied. Mobility: nonexistent. Dignity: questionable but still intact—for now.
I let out a quiet breath.
"Yeah... this is how I die," I muttered to myself, before pausing and nodding slightly.
"...Worth it though."
Completely worth it.
I shifted my gaze to the left. Lumine was still asleep, expression calm, breathing steady, completely unbothered by the fact that she had effectively turned me into furniture. Honestly, she looked comfortable—too comfortable. Using me as a mattress like this was a long-term arrangement.
Rude.
I leaned in slightly and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
Her eyes opened slowly, golden gaze landing on me with zero urgency. She studied me for a second, then spoke in the most neutral tone imaginable.
"You still haven't brushed your teeth."
I stared at her. Of all the possible reactions—everything we've been through, the fact that I was currently immobilized, the emotional vulnerability of the moment—this was her concern. Dental hygiene.
I blinked once, then let out a small breath through my nose.
"Morning, blondie," I said, grinning anyway. "I can't feel my legs. Would you kindly—"
She closed her eyes again.
Just like that.
Ignored me entirely and went back to sleep.
I slowly looked forward again, staring at the ceiling like a man who had just been abandoned by fate itself.
"...I see how it is," I muttered. "Left to perish. Betrayed. Forgotten."
Above me, Paimon shifted slightly and mumbled something about food. Of course she did. Even unconscious, her priorities were consistent.
I turned my attention to the right. Nilou stirred, rubbing her eyes slowly, soft and sleepy, hair slightly messy, expression gentle and unfocused for a moment before she looked at me and smiled.
And just like that, my brain stopped functioning.
"...Critical damage," I whispered under my breath.
"Morning, Shigeru," she said warmly.
I immediately smiled back. "Good morning, Goddess. Did you sleep well?"
She nodded happily, still hugging my arm like it belonged to her. "I did."
"Perfect," I said. "Could you please—"
I didn't get to finish. Nilou suddenly tightened her hold and leaned closer, hugging my arm even more like she had just decided it was not leaving her possession anytime soon.
"No!" she said cheerfully.
I blinked once, then leaned my head back against the pillow.
"...Understandable. Have a nice day."
Nilou giggled softly, clearly pleased with her decision.
Somewhere nearby, Greg flicked his tail. I didn't even need to see him—I could feel the judgment radiating in my direction. He was enjoying this. I knew it.
"This is a prison," I added quietly. "I am being detained without trial."
Greg's tail flicked again.
Agreement.
Time passed—far too much of it. At first I tried to move, then I tried to negotiate, then I accepted my fate like a man who had come to terms with his circumstances. At some point I started naming cracks on the ceiling just to pass the time. One of them looked like a potato. Another looked suspiciously like Greg judging me. There was even one that vaguely resembled Paimon, which I chose to ignore for my own sanity.
After what felt like three business days but was probably just two hours, Lumine finally woke up properly. Nilou stretched slightly, still holding onto my arm, and Paimon rolled off my head and floated upward like she had just completed an important shift.
I sat up slowly and stretched, joints popping as circulation returned.
"My legs are gone," I announced. "They have ascended."
"They've been claimed," Lumine replied calmly.
Nilou giggled softly. "I think they'll recover... eventually."
I narrowed my eyes at both of them. "I don't like how uncertain that sounded. You're both dangerous."
Lumine ignored me. Nilou smiled—which somehow felt worse. Greg flicked his tail from Nilou's shoulder like he was enjoying the entire situation far too much.
After a moment, Lumine crossed her arms thoughtfully. "Well, we just finished our quest and helped Wanderer—" she paused briefly, correcting herself, "...Sora. What should we do next? Head to Fontaine?"
I leaned back and considered it. Fontaine meant responsibility, trials, and probably paperwork. Disgusting. I shook my head.
"Hmm... nah," I said. "Let's explore Sumeru City more. Who knows? We might find something interesting. Meet new people. Get scammed. Cause chaos. Get into a fight—"
Paimon immediately cut in, deadpan. "Paimon thinks you have serious mental problems."
Lumine nodded without hesitation. "You just realized that now?"
Nilou covered her mouth, laughing softly. "Maybe he's always been like this."
I stared at the three of them.
"...I am literally right here."
Greg flicked his tail in agreement.
"YOU TOO!?" I pointed at him. "You traitor!"
He stared back at me with what I could only describe as a smug lizard expression.
"...Why are you even over there?" I continued. "Come back here. You're supposed to be on my side!"
I reached out to grab him, but Nilou immediately smacked my hand away—not hard, but firm enough to stop me.
I looked at her.
She tried to glare.
She failed completely.
She was too cute.
"Don't bully Greg," she said.
"I am not bullying him," I protested. "I am reclaiming my teammate."
Greg flicked his tail.
Rejection.
I slowly turned back to him and narrowed my eyes.
"I'll get you someday," I muttered. "You traitorous lizard."
His tail flicked again like he found that amusing.
I stood up and stretched once more, rolling my shoulders.
"Welp," I said, letting out a breath, "since everything's settled, let's head to Sumeru City... and try not to cause chaos."
I paused.
"...Probably."
Lumine sighed. Nilou laughed. Paimon grabbed her head. Greg flicked his tail.
And just like that, our peaceful day officially began—which, based on experience, meant we were only minutes away from a problem.
And honestly?
I was looking forward to it.
***
Sumeru City was peaceful.
That was the first problem.
Peaceful meant quiet, quiet meant boring, and boring meant my brain would eventually start looking for something to do—which was exactly how bad decisions were born. Historically speaking, every terrible idea I've ever had started with the same thought: huh… nothing's happening.
I walked alongside Lumine and Nilou with my hands casually in my pockets, scanning the surroundings like a man who was absolutely not about to cause trouble. A model citizen. Completely harmless. Definitely not seconds away from ruining someone's day.
Paimon floated nearby, still talking about food like her entire personality depended on it—which, to be fair, it probably did. "I'm telling you," she said dramatically, waving her arms, "if we don't eat soon, Paimon is going to collapse!"
"You said that ten minutes ago," Lumine replied without even looking at her.
"This time it's real!"
Nilou laughed softly at that. "We'll eat soon, Paimon. Just be a little more patient."
Meanwhile, Greg remained perched comfortably on Nilou's shoulder, tail flicking lazily like he was enjoying life far too much for someone who had very recently betrayed me. I narrowed my eyes slightly, scanning ahead again—and then I saw it.
There.
Target acquired.
A slow grin spread across my face as the gears in my brain immediately started turning in the worst possible direction. "Oh," I said quietly, almost to myself.
Lumine didn't even turn her head. "That tone," she muttered flatly, "I don't like that tone."
Nilou tilted her head, curious. "What did you see?"
I pointed casually ahead. "Opportunity."
Paimon followed my gaze, squinted for a second, then immediately groaned. "Oh no… there he goes again."
Because not too far ahead—standing there like he owned logic itself—was Alhaitham. And right in front of him was Dehya, arms crossed, clearly in the middle of a conversation.
I grinned wider.
"Alright," I said, already moving. "Time to ruin someone's peaceful day."
"Shigeru, maybe we shouldn't—" Nilou started gently, reaching out.
Too late.
I was already advancing—with purpose, confidence, and absolutely zero regard for my own safety.
Greg watched me go, then casually jumped off Nilou's shoulder and followed behind me like a silent accomplice.
Traitor.
I stopped right in front of them with the biggest grin I could manage. "Yo," I greeted cheerfully. "Biceps scholar."
Alhaitham looked at me, his expression flattening instantly like he had just detected a problem he didn't want to deal with. "…Go away," he said.
I ignored him, naturally, leaning slightly as I glanced between him and Dehya. "So," I continued, voice full of enthusiasm, "on a date with the Fire Mommy?"
There was a pause—long enough to be meaningful.
Dehya blinked.
Then laughed.
Alhaitham, on the other hand, looked like he was calculating something dangerous. "I am not entertaining this conversation," he said calmly.
"Too late," I replied instantly. "You're already in it."
I crossed my arms, nodding seriously like I had just uncovered a hidden truth. "I see what's going on here. Subtle approach. Intellectual courtship. Very on brand."
"I am discussing work," Alhaitham said.
"With the Fire Mommy," I added immediately, because clearly that clarification was necessary.
Dehya laughed again, clearly amused now. "You've really stuck with that nickname, huh?" she said, crossing her arms with a grin that said she was enjoying this far more than she should.
"You're welcome," I replied proudly, like I had just contributed something meaningful to society.
Nilou finally caught up and gently tugged my sleeve, her voice soft but insistent. "Shigeru… maybe don't call her that…"
I glanced at her, thinking for exactly half a second. "…Fire Queen?" I offered instead.
She sighed—the kind of sigh that carried both patience and quiet defeat.
Lumine stood beside her, arms crossed, watching everything unfold like this was exactly what she expected from me, which, to be fair, it probably was.
I turned back to Dehya. "So what's the deal?" I asked casually. "Why are you with the biceps scholar anyway?"
Alhaitham's eye twitched slightly.
Dehya shrugged, completely unfazed. "He was asking if I'd consider a position at the Akademiya."
I froze.
Then slowly turned toward Alhaitham.
"…Oh."
A grin spread across my face again—worse this time, the kind that should legally count as a warning sign.
"Professional interest?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied.
"Sure," I nodded. "Totally. Makes sense. Completely normal. No hidden intentions whatsoever—like aggressively recruiting strong, attractive mercenaries for purely academic reasons, obviously—"
I didn't get to finish.
Because suddenly—
My mouth was full.
Pie.
An entire slice.
Just—violently introduced into my existence.
I blinked slowly, processing the texture, the taste, and the betrayal all at once. "…Mmph."
Alhaitham grabbed me by the collar immediately after and started dragging me away like he had already decided this conversation had gone far enough.
I raised a hand behind me and gave Lumine and Nilou a thumbs up, because clearly I was still in control of the situation.
Probably.
Behind me, I heard Nilou sigh softly while Lumine said, "He deserves that," with absolute certainty, which I chose to ignore on principle.
Greg immediately followed, hopping up onto my shoulder like he had officially defected to the winning side.
Traitor.
I chewed, swallowed, then looked at Alhaitham like nothing unusual had just happened. "Where are we going?" I asked.
"I am going to throw you into the sea," he replied calmly.
I glanced around.
There was no sea.
"…Logistical issue," I pointed out.
"That can be arranged," he said without hesitation.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT," I said quickly, raising my hands. "Let's talk this out! Violence is not the answer—usually—sometimes—situationally—okay, but not right now!"
We passed by another familiar figure—Cyno. He looked at us, paused for a moment as if assessing whether this situation was worth his attention, then asked in his usual steady tone.
"What are you two doing?"
I grinned immediately, because of course I did. "Perfect timing," I said. "He's on a date."
Cyno blinked once. "With who,?"
I grinned "The Fire Mommy."
"Dehya?"
"Yes."
He paused again, clearly processing that information with the same seriousness he applied to everything, then nodded slowly like he had reached a conclusion.
"I see," he said. "So this is what you would call… a hot topic."
Silence followed.
Not the comfortable kind.
The kind where the air itself seems to hesitate.
I stared at him. Alhaitham stopped walking mid-drag. Greg tilted his head slightly on my shoulder like even he was trying to figure out what just happened.
"…That was terrible," I said.
Cyno nodded without hesitation. "Yes."
Somehow, that made it worse.
Alhaitham exhaled slowly, the kind of breath that suggested he was reevaluating every life choice that had led him to this exact moment. I glanced between the two of them, then raised a hand slightly.
"…Can we throw him first?" I asked.
"Agreed," Alhaitham replied immediately, not even looking at Cyno.
Cyno considered it like it was a legitimate proposal. "I will allow it," he said.
"There's no sea!" I shouted, because apparently I was the only one still concerned with basic logistics.
"Details," I added immediately after, because consistency mattered.
Alhaitham finally let go of me and rubbed his temples like a man who had reached the absolute limit of his tolerance.
"Just… go away," he said. "Do not disturb me again."
I adjusted my clothes, straightened up like nothing had happened, then grinned again—because clearly I had learned nothing from this experience.
"Or," I said slowly, "I could help you."
That made him pause.
Cyno paused too.
Greg shifted slightly and settled more comfortably on my shoulder, tail flicking once like he was preparing to witness something incredibly stupid.
I crossed my arms confidently. "Look," I said, "I have two girlfriends. I know what I'm doing."
Cyno nodded immediately. "That is statistically impressive."
"Thank you," I replied, because recognition matters.
Alhaitham stared at me for a long second, his expression completely unreadable before he finally sighed like a man making a terrible decision on purpose. "…Continue."
"You want results?" I said. "I can help you."
He didn't answer immediately. There was a brief silence as he clearly weighed the risks, the consequences, and the overwhelming likelihood that this would end badly.
Then—
"…Fine."
I grinned.
"But," he added calmly, his voice dropping just slightly in a way that carried actual threat, "if this turns into a disaster, I will turn you into a skewer."
"Fair," I said without hesitation.
Cyno raised a hand like a student volunteering in class. "Can I join?"
I grinned wider. "Of course. The more of us there are, the more chaotic it gets."
Greg flicked his tail in approval.
Cyno nodded seriously. "I will bring puns."
"…Please don't," Alhaitham muttered under his breath.
Too late.
This was happening.
And for once—
I wasn't the only problem.
This was going to be fun.
*****
End of Chapter 172
Quests Completed:
*Successfully survived a high-risk immobilization scenario caused by Lumine's territorial sleeping habits, Nilou's affectionate restraint, and Paimon's complete disregard for personal space.
*Recovered limb functionality after prolonged "girlfriend-induced paralysis" without permanent emotional or physical damage (dignity remains under evaluation).
*Chose exploration over responsibility by deliberately postponing Fontaine-related obligations in favor of "seeing what happens."
*Identified and approached a highly volatile social interaction involving Alhaitham and Dehya with full confidence and zero strategic planning.
*Successfully escalated a normal academic conversation into a suspicious "romantic interrogation scenario" within approximately ten seconds.
*Triggered immediate retaliation via unexpected pie-to-mouth deployment and forced relocation by Alhaitham.
*Encountered Cyno and endured a high-impact pun attack with measurable psychological consequences.
*Proposed unqualified relationship advice based entirely on personal experience, questionable confidence, and chaotic decision-making.
*Formed an unstable alliance consisting of logic (Alhaitham), chaos (Shigeru), and puns (Cyno), significantly increasing the probability of future incidents.
Rewards:
*Adventure EXP +3,800
*-15,000 Mora (Compensation for emotional damage inflicted on innocent scholars)
*Companionship EXP: +320 (Lumine, Nilou, Paimon, Greg)
*"Girlfriend Paralysis Debuff" : (Temporary status effect. Movement speed reduced upon waking. Morale increased by 20.)
*"Greg's Betrayal Stamp" : (Marks the moment Greg officially sides with Nilou. Grants +5 cuteness resistance, -10 authority.)
*"Emergency Pie Countermeasure (Failed)" : (You did not dodge. You never dodge. Restores minor HP but damages pride.)
*"Alhaitham's Patience Limit" : (A fragile mental threshold. Once exceeded, immediate consequences occur.)
*"Cyno's Pun Catalyst" : (Increases likelihood of pun-based attacks in nearby vicinity. Side effects include silence and regret.)
*"Nilou's Gentle Restraint" : (Prevents reckless actions… sometimes. Does not work on Shigeru consistently.)
*"Lumine's Silent Judgment" : (Passive aura. Reduces nonsense output by 3%—ineffective in critical chaos situations.)
*"Two Girlfriends Confidence Buff" : (Boosts self-confidence to unreasonable levels. Side effects include poor decision-making.)
*+10 (Sumeru Reputation — "Recognized Troublemaker")