Eui-jae hesitated as he stepped into the alley. Not the soft touch of desert sand, but the hard, rough feel of asphalt under his feet. The air was different too. Cool, yet mixed with a damp humidity brushing past his skin.
He took off his mask and drew in a deep breath.
This was a place he could never forget. He walked slowly.
A secluded alley, a little distance from the hangover soup restaurant. The place where, while searching for Ha-eun, he had noticed a great purple flame and followed it. Yes, this was where he first met Lee Sa-young.
Back then, Sa-young had been kicking someone while wearing a gas mask. Well, technically, a junkie.
'I really thought he was crazy.'
Eui-jae let out a small laugh. He'd sworn back then he would never get involved.
"…"
The smile faded from his face. Hands still in his pockets, he stared at the shadow stretched across the ground.
If he had recognized, back then, that Sa-young was that boy, would anything have changed?
While he chewed on an answerless question, a voice surfaced in his mind, the voice that had whispered as it removed the mask:
"I like it… because we're more special than any other Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae."
Those big hands on his cheeks and lips.
If that empty time had made them who they were now… If loss had built them…
Eui-jae lifted his head. The hesitation, the regret over the past, all gone. Yes. If even one thing they had gone through had been missing, he would never have reached this point.
Two failures, one last chance. Finally at the edge of the apocalypse. They had lost and found each other again through countless setbacks.
The moment Eui-jae stepped forward, thud, thud, thud. Heavy, dull thumps and muffled groans drifted from beyond the alley.
'Could it be Sa-young?'
Eui-jae peeked around the corner.
A large black-clad figure was kicking a man crouched on the ground.
'Wow. Even seeing it again, that's violent.'
Eui-jae narrowed his eyes. Then Sa-young suddenly turned his head. Gas mask on, black tech-wear spattered with blood, glistening combat boots, exactly how he had looked the first time they met. Strangely, Eui-jae found himself missing that time when he'd been working part-time at the hangover soup restaurant.
After a long silence, Sa-young lifted a gloved hand and pointed straight at Cha Eui-jae.
"You…"
"…"
The finger pointed directly at him.
Eui-jae mouthed "Me?" while pointing to himself. The gas mask gave a small nod. Eui-jae asked blankly.
"…Can you see me?"
Through the lenses, his eyes narrowed. A hiss of air escaped the mask before a lazy voice replied:
"What… some kind of ghost concept? You're asking if I can see you? I can see you perfectly."
This was different from memory.
Sa-young had never said this before. He was supposed to exchange a few words with Sa-young and then try to run away, only to have his identity revealed thanks to the ladle incident. He didn't know what was happening.
Scratching his head, Eui-jae stepped out into the alley.
Sa-young's gaze swept up and down Cha Eui-jae, staring at his face for a long time. Then he tilted his head slowly.
"That's strange."
The lenses of the gas mask reflected Cha Eui-jae like a mirror, his ash-gray hair tangled from running, white ash clinging to his pants and boots.
In a low, quiet voice Sa-young asked.
"Have we met somewhere before?"
He was supposed to answer, "Not that I remember." But, instead of stepping back, Eui-jae stepped forward. Sa-young tilted his head again, intrigued, as Eui-jae looked up at him.
"Hey, Sa-young."
Hiss. A breath leaked from the mask. Behind the lenses, purple eyes flickered with confusion.
And suddenly, Cha Eui-jae thought.
'Maybe all of this had been fate.'
That night when he had run out with a ladle to find Ha-eun. The purple flame he had chased like a spell. Sa-young, standing there.
If it wasn't fate…
"Then you come to me first. Like you did before."
Eui-jae abruptly reached out and grabbed Sa-young's arm. He could feel the muscle stiffen under his grip. He tightened his hold, forcing his hand out of the pocket.
The gloved hand flinched.
"What…!"
Sa-young tried to pull his arm back, but Eui-jae only gripped it harder. His fingers brushed the leather glove, and he gave a small, crooked smile.
"Ha… thinking about it now… in the end, you did keep your word."
"…"
"The promise to live quietly. The promise to come find me first. All of it."
He let go and reached for the gas mask covering his face.
Click, he undid the straps and pulled it off.
Under the tousled black hair, startled violet eyes stared back at him. He dropped the mask with a thud.
They didn't need things like that between them anymore.
Carefully, Eui-jae cupped Sa-young's cheeks with both hands. Then he rose slightly on his toes and pressed his lips to the other's.
No tongue, no exchange of saliva, just a light kiss, like a seal of promise.
He smiled at the dazed face before him.
"See? This time I kept my promise."
"…"
"I came to you first."
At that moment, Sa-young's appearance shifted, longer black hair, those blazing violet eyes, the mole beneath his full lips, the fluttering black coat, boots dusted with white ash.
The Lee Sa-young Eui-jae knew. The one he had missed.
"…Ha…"
Sa-young covered Eui-jae's hands with his own and bowed his head, eyes closed. A bright, flower-like smile bloomed on his face.
He kissed Eui-jae's palm and whispered.
"Yeah… Hyung finally kept his promise."
"How about now? Do you trust me a little?"
"Mmm… just a little. Maybe… 0.1%."
"Why only that?"
"Trust is expensive. Keep your promises until it's 100%."
Sa-young rubbed his cheek against Eui-jae's palm with a smile. Eui-jae's heart gave a heavy thump. Their eyes met. He swallowed hard.
Sa-young chuckled low, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Then… I should give you a reward for keeping your promise."
Soft lips brushed his cheek. Eui-jae couldn't suppress a low laugh.
The lips moved from cheek to eyelid, to temple, to the bridge of his nose, and finally reached his lips.
They looked into each other's eyes at a distance where their breaths mingled. Those violet eyes were…
"…"
Gentle. And filled with affection.
Slowly, Eui-jae raised his arms and drew Sa-young's neck closer.
'Sa-young… what do you see in my eyes? Do my eyes shine like yours?'
The purple eyes closed and lips met.
Words unsaid melted between their mouths.
Eui-jae didn't resist, opening his mouth. A thick tongue slid in as if it had been waiting. Saliva mixed, tongues tangled.
The black tongue traced his teeth, tickled the roof of his mouth, a small moan escaped.
"Mm…"
Sa-young's arms held his waist firmly. It felt like coming home. That long-lost sense of safety wrapped around him.
Finally, after such a long journey, he had arrived here. By the side of his only success.
Chup. The long kiss ended, wet lips parting.
Sa-young leaned his forehead against Eui-jae's and closed his eyes. His drowsy voice whispered.
"…I missed you."
"…Me too."
The warmth of skin against skin was sweet. A cool breeze brushed their hair.
Eui-jae stroked Sa-young's hair as he nuzzled against his neck.
"Hey, Sa-young."
"Yes, Hyung."
"Remember how you once said it? That you liked us… because we're more special than any other Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae."
"…Ah… yeah, I did."
"I think I understand what you meant now."
Eui-jae held Sa-young tighter. Two failures, two partings, eight years of emptiness. Only after all that loss and failure could these two meet again.
And Eui-jae finally spoke the words he had never said to anyone, the story of his failures, a loser's story.
"Back then… I really thought I was useless. I wanted to save people but failed every time, kept killing monsters, ended up just doing what I was told."
"Mhm."
"I saved you but didn't take care of you till the end, went into the West Sea Rift… and even there, saved no one. Do you know what I felt first when I came out after eight years? Loss? Sadness? No. Hunger. I was so damn hungry."
Eui-jae let out a low laugh.
"So I practically crawled into a lit-up hangover soup restaurant. And then, there…"
He remembered the scene in the shop, the grandmother handing him milky beef soup, peeling garlic, the brown TV on the shelf, faded soju posters, the old wall fan, the calendar. And the documentary playing on the TV.
"I watched it. The documentary Pado Guild helped produce."
"Thinking back now…"
Maybe it had been Sa-young's signal.
I haven't forgotten you.
I'm still waiting for you.
I'll keep my promise.
Eui-jae buried his face in Sa-young's chest. His voice trembled.
"…Thank you. For keeping your promise. And… for waiting for me."