The Financial and Magical Consequences of Asking Follow-Up Questions, or: For the Love of God, Stop Asking Jack Questions While the Dice Are Still Rolling
Meanwhile:
Josh: What dice?
R.O.B. 37: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
...
Jack's smile finally escaped.
Josh pointed at him.
"Hit me."
...
Jack gave a small nod, apparently taking that as permission to ruin Josh's morning.
"Well, if we're limiting ourselves to the magical holdings of Myrddin Manor, it would probably be easiest to begin here in Britain."
Josh's hand remained raised for another second.
"Limiting ourselves?"
Harry grinned.
Jack kept his attention on the road. "You did ask."
"I already regret it."
BillionairePlayboy: No, no. We've committed now.
You aren't the one discovering his family apparently has a second economy.
BillionairePlayboy: Which is precisely why I'm enjoying this.
Harry leaned forward between the seats again. "What's here?"
"The Manor and its surrounding lands, obviously," Jack said. "Though calling them merely the Manor grounds is somewhat misleading."
Josh frowned. "How misleading?"
"The estate encompasses approximately sixty-three thousand acres."
Josh stared at him.
Harry stared at him.
Chat went silent.
Josh slowly looked out the window.
Trees.
Lots and lots of trees.
He'd known the estate was huge. The drive from the Manor to the outer gates made that painfully obvious.
He had apparently never bothered attaching a number to huge.
"Sixty-three thousand?"
"Approximately."
"Acres?"
"Yes."
"..."
"How?"
Jack didn't even blink as he answered, the most irritating answer yet.
"Magic."
Josh looked back outside.
Okay.
That was...
He actually didn't know what that was.
BillionairePlayboy: Just under a hundred square miles.
Josh's eyes narrowed.
I didn't ask you.
BillionairePlayboy: You were about to.
I was not.
BillionairePlayboy: You absolutely were.
Harry was already doing his own version of the calculation.
"Is that all forest?"
"No," Jack said. "The continuous forest accounts for a substantial portion, but there are cultivated areas, protected habitats, research grounds, agricultural plots, residential areas for staff, workshops, storage facilities and several smaller settlements."
Harry blinked.
"Settlements?"
Josh turned back toward Jack.
"Yeah, settlements? I thought Hogsmeade was the only all-magical settlement in Britain."
Jack glanced at him through the mirror.
"The largest entirely magical settlement, not the only one. Where did you think everyone lived?"
Josh opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Opened it again.
"I don't know. Houses?"
"Those would generally constitute a settlement when enough of them are placed together."
Harry snorted.
Josh pointed toward the mirror again. "That one was intentional."
"A little."
BillionairePlayboy: I like Jack.
Everybody likes Jack until he starts explaining things.
Jack continued before Josh could interrogate him about villages he apparently owned.
"The estate itself produces a considerable amount of what House Myrddin requires. Wand woods, potion ingredients, alchemical materials, magical plants, creature products and specialized agricultural goods."
Harry looked toward the trees.
"The wand wood gets sold?"
"Some of it. Some remains under contract to particular wandmakers. Some is retained for research or House use. Certain trees have been cultivated here for centuries."
"And the Bowtruckles?"
"Part of maintaining healthy wand-wood groves."
Harry nodded seriously.
Josh could practically watch another piece click into place.
"So Tiffany's potions are part of it too?"
"Tiffany's research is," Jack said. "Her personal work remains her own. House Myrddin sponsors researchers and apprentices because useful knowledge tends to produce useful things."
Josh smiled slightly.
That part he understood.
Jack continued.
"There are also House-owned apothecaries, potion laboratories, enchanting workshops, alchemical facilities, magical farms, creature preserves, archives and several specialist manufacturers."
Josh waited.
Jack kept driving.
"That's Britain?"
"Mostly."
Josh rubbed his face.
Harry was delighted.
"What do they make?"
"Which ones?"
Harry somehow became even more delighted.
Josh groaned.
LawLord: I believe we're beginning to understand the problem.
There wasn't a problem until Harry started asking questions.
Harry looked at Josh. "What's MOCK?"
Josh stopped.
Jack's eyes flicked toward the mirror.
Josh slowly turned toward Harry.
"How do you know about MOCK?"
Harry pointed back through the window.
"There was a sign back there."
Of course there was.
"What did it say?"
"MOCK something. Research, I think."
Josh looked toward Jack.
Jack's smile returned.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
Harry laughed.
BillionairePlayboy: MOCK?
Don't.
BillionairePlayboy: Please tell me your magical conglomerate is called MOCK.
Josh ignored him.
Jack, unfortunately, did not have Chat available to ignore.
"MOCK is the Myrddin Organization for Commerce and Knowledge."
Josh stared at the back of his head.
Harry's grin widened.
"MAMTech and MOCK?"
"Apparently."
Jack nodded. "The names were chosen quite deliberately."
"By who?"
"Your great-grandfather was involved with MOCK."
Josh immediately accepted that explanation.
"Of course he was."
BillionairePlayboy: Your family named one company MAM and the other MOCK.
Yes, Tony.
BillionairePlayboy: Your international financial empire is Mom and Mock.
Josh's eye twitched.
It's MAM.
BillionairePlayboy: Alabama, that is not helping.
LawLord: I wasn't going to say anything.
BillionairePlayboy: You were thinking it.
LawLord: Quite loudly.
Josh looked toward the ceiling.
System.
[SYSTEM:]Yes?
Can I turn Tony off?
[SYSTEM:]As administrator, momfriend.exe possesses moderation privileges.
momfriend.exe: Don't drag me into this. I want to hear how rich you are.
Traitor.
Harry had no idea why Josh suddenly looked betrayed by the roof of the car.
"So what does MOCK do?"
Jack answered without hesitation.
"Technically? Very little."
Josh blinked.
That wasn't the answer he'd expected.
"Technically?"
"MOCK is a holding and coordination organization. It owns, funds, administers or maintains interests in other magical businesses rather than attempting to operate everything under a single name."
Tony immediately stopped joking.
BillionairePlayboy: Ah.
Josh didn't like that ah.
What?
BillionairePlayboy: That's much smarter.
Than what?
BillionairePlayboy: Than putting your family name on every company you control and handing competitors a map of your entire industrial base.
Josh looked toward Jack.
"How much does MOCK own?"
Jack was quiet for a moment.
Josh immediately regretted the wording.
"Directly?"
"Why did you say it like that?"
"Because direct ownership would exclude partnerships, minority interests, silent investments, contractual rights, House trusts and properties held through associated families."
Josh stared at him.
Harry whispered, "You asked."
"Don't you start."
Harry grinned.
Josh sank farther into the seat.
"Fine. Give me the simple version."
Jack considered that.
"There isn't one."
BillionairePlayboy: HA.
Josh pointed at absolutely nothing.
You shut the hell up.
Jack continued.
"House Myrddin has been conducting magical commerce for well over a millennium. Some holdings are businesses in the modern sense. Others are land rights, extraction rights, production agreements, protected resources, old family partnerships, patents, formula royalties, breeding rights, transportation contracts, research agreements or investments that predate the current Ministry."
Harry's eyes widened.
Josh's did too, though for a completely different reason.
"Predate the Ministry?"
"Some by several centuries."
Josh looked out at the forest again.
Suddenly, the age of those trees felt a little different.
Harry asked the obvious question.
"How much is all of that worth?"
Jack paused.
Josh looked at him.
Chat stopped moving.
Even Tony waited.
Jack finally glanced into the rearview mirror.
"That depends."
Josh closed his eyes.
"No."
"On whether you mean annual revenue, liquid assets, land, businesses, controlled resources, intellectual property, contracted rights or total House valuation."
Josh opened his eyes.
Harry was trying very hard not to laugh.
Josh pointed at him.
"This is your fault."
"I only asked how big your family was."
"Exactly."
Harry lost it.
His laughter filled the back of the Rolls while Josh sank into the leather and contemplated the series of decisions that had brought him here.
"But how much?"
Josh turned his head.
Harry had managed to stop laughing, but only barely. The grin was still there, and now he had the look again.
The one that had caused all of this.
Josh pointed at him. "You heard the man. That's apparently seventeen different questions."
"I know." Harry settled back into his seat. "But how much?"
BillionairePlayboy: I continue to support the kid.
Of course you do.
Jack considered the question while the Rolls carried them around another long curve.
"If you want a single number, Harry, there isn't a particularly useful one."
Harry frowned. "Why not?"
"Because a great deal of House wealth isn't money."
That got Josh's attention.
Jack continued. "Take the forest we're driving through. What is it worth?"
Harry looked outside.
"Sixty-three thousand acres," Josh muttered.
"Approximately," Jack said.
"Stop saying approximately."
"A precise figure would require discussing overlapping magical boundaries."
Josh stared at the back of his head.
"No. Absolutely not. We're not doing bigger-on-the-inside property law before eight in the morning."
Harry laughed again.
AncientLibrarian: I would actually be interested in that.
Of course you would.
Jack continued as if nobody had interrupted him. "You could have the land appraised in pounds. That would give you a number. It would also be nearly meaningless."
"Because it's magical?" Harry asked.
"In part. The oldest sections have been cultivated for magical purposes for centuries. Some individual trees are worth considerably more than an ordinary acre of woodland. Others cannot be valued sensibly because there is no comparable market."
Harry looked toward the passing forest with renewed interest.
"The really old wand trees?"
"Among other things. Then there are protected habitats, breeding populations, rare plants, potion crops, alchemical resources and magical materials whose harvesting is restricted by House law, Ministry law, international agreements, or all three."
Josh frowned. "House law?"
Jack glanced at him through the mirror.
"We'll come back to that."
"We absolutely will."
BillionairePlayboy: He's explaining asset valuation to you with a forest.
I'm aware.
BillionairePlayboy: I'm enjoying it.
Jack went on. "Then there are things House Myrddin owns but cannot simply sell. Archives. Artifacts. Family collections. Restricted books. Certain magical creatures. Properties bound to the House. Objects held in trust. Things entrusted to the family for safekeeping."
Harry's brow furrowed.
"So they're valuable, but you can't spend them."
"Exactly."
Josh nodded slowly.
That, at least, made sense.
Harry thought about it. "But you still have money."
"Oh, certainly."
Josh closed his eyes again.
Jack's answer had come much too quickly.
BillionairePlayboy: There it is.
Shut up.
Harry leaned forward. "How much?"
"Harry."
"What?"
"You have somehow turned buying shoes into an audit."
"You said I could ask questions."
Josh stared at him.
Harry smiled.
That was annoyingly difficult to argue with.
Jack came to his rescue. Or possibly made everything worse.
"If you're asking whether House Myrddin has sufficient liquid wealth to meet its ordinary obligations without selling property or investments, yes. Easily."
Josh opened one eye.
"Define ordinary obligations."
"Estate operation. Salaries. Research funding. Education contracts. Business investment. Charitable obligations. Political and diplomatic expenses. Creature management. Maintenance of properties and facilities. Legal expenses. Security. Acquisitions."
Jack paused.
"And the family's personal expenses, naturally."
Josh opened the other eye.
"How many people are on payroll?"
Jack was silent.
Josh immediately regretted asking.
"Jack."
"I would need the current figures."
"Ballpark."
"Directly employed by the House?"
Josh's face fell.
"Oh, fuck you."
Harry folded over laughing again.
Even Jack chuckled.
BillionairePlayboy: He's learning.
LawLord: Slowly.
I can close the Stream.
BillionairePlayboy: But you won't.
Josh hated that Tony was right.
Jack waited for Harry to recover before continuing.
"The more useful way to understand House Myrddin's wealth is not to ask how much money is sitting in a vault."
Harry straightened.
"Then what do you ask?"
"How long could the House continue functioning if every outside source of income stopped tomorrow?"
That silenced the back seat.
Tony answered first.
BillionairePlayboy: Now we're talking.
Josh looked toward the front.
"Okay. How long?"
Jack considered it.
"At its current standard of operation?"
"Yeah."
"Without reducing staff?"
"Yeah."
"Without suspending research, closing facilities, liquidating investments or selling assets?"
Josh was beginning to dislike this again.
"Yeah."
Jack nodded once.
"Several generations."
Josh stared at him.
Harry stared at him.
Chat went silent.
Again.
"Generations," Josh repeated.
"Yes."
"As in plural."
"That is generally what the word means."
Josh slowly pointed at the mirror.
"That one was intentional too."
"Entirely."
Harry made a strangled noise beside him.
Josh ignored him.
"So Grandfather could stop making money tomorrow."
"House Myrddin could cease generating new revenue tomorrow," Jack corrected.
"Fine."
"And if nothing catastrophic occurred, the House could continue meeting its present obligations for quite some time."
"Several generations."
"Yes."
Josh sat back.
He'd known they were rich.
Of course he'd known they were rich.
There was a Rolls-Royce under his ass and a magical castle behind him. He'd never exactly been laboring under the impression that Grandfather was clipping coupons.
But there was rich.
Then there was apparently we can stop making money and reconsider the issue when everyone's grandchildren are old rich.
BillionairePlayboy: Okay.
Josh's attention snapped toward Chat.
Tony hadn't made a joke.
That was concerning.
What?
BillionairePlayboy: I'm revising my estimate.
You had an estimate?
BillionairePlayboy: Obviously.
Of my family's wealth?
BillionairePlayboy: You turned on a camera inside a Rolls-Royce while driving through a private hundred-square-mile magical estate and then started listing diamond mines. What did you expect me to do?
Josh considered that.
Fair.
Harry, meanwhile, had become oddly quiet.
Not upset.
Just thoughtful.
He looked down at the oversized shirt hanging off him, pinched a fold of fabric between two fingers, then looked toward Josh.
"So..."
Josh saw where this was going.
"No."
Harry blinked. "I didn't ask yet."
"You were going to."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know what you're thinking."
Harry's expression immediately became skeptical.
Josh corrected himself.
"I know what you're thinking about."
That was better.
Harry glanced down at his clothes again.
"You're wondering how much the shoes are going to cost."
Harry didn't answer.
He didn't have to.
Josh leaned back and looked at him.
"Harry."
"I'm just saying..."
"No."
"But if they're expensive..."
"Harry."
Harry stopped.
Josh kept his voice level.
"We could apparently stop making money today and Jack's worried about what my grandkids are gonna do about it."
Jack cleared his throat.
"That is a substantial oversimplification."
"Not helping, Jack."
Harry's mouth twitched.
Josh pointed down at Harry's battered shoes.
"You're getting shoes."
Harry looked at them too.
"And clothes."
Harry sighed.
"And books."
That got his attention.
Josh smiled.
"And whatever else we already said we were getting."
Harry looked back at him. "Even the backup shoes?"
"Especially the backup shoes."
A smile finally broke through.
"Okay."
"Good."
Josh settled back into the seat.
For perhaps five blessed seconds, Harry didn't ask another question.
Then:
"What kind of shops does MOCK own?"
Josh slowly turned his head.
Harry grinned.
BillionairePlayboy: I fucking love this kid.
Josh looked toward the ceiling.
Momfriend.
momfriend.exe: Request denied.
....
Traitor.
The Rolls continued beneath the trees.
Harry kept asking questions. Of course he did. Jack kept answering them, which Josh was increasingly convinced constituted some form of encouragement.
Eventually, though, the forest ahead began to change.
Not thin.
End.
One moment there were ancient trees on either side of them, branches meeting high over the road beneath a canopy that looked like it had been there since Rome was somebody else's problem.
Then the Rolls passed between two old stone pillars.
Josh felt the wards slide across him.
The forest vanished behind them.
Houses stood beyond the boundary. Pavement. Telephone lines. Parked cars. A red bus farther down the road.
Greater London.
Harry twisted around so quickly his glasses nearly slipped off.
"Where'd it go?"
Josh looked back.
From this side, there was no sixty-three-thousand-acre forest stretching toward the horizon. Just the concealed boundary of an old private property that had absolutely no business containing what they'd just spent the better part of an hour driving through.
Josh looked toward Jack.
"Sixty-three thousand acres."
"Approximately."
Josh pointed at him.
"Don't."
Harry was still staring backward.
"It's bigger on the inside."
"Basically," Josh said.
Harry turned around.
"Can houses do that?"
Josh opened his mouth.
Then stopped.
He looked toward Jack.
Jack smiled.
"Nope," Josh said immediately. "We're done asking Jack questions."
Granger & Granger Dental Surgery
Greater London8:45 AM
The bell over the door gave a cheerful little ding as Josh pushed it open.
Harry followed him inside, slowing almost immediately to look around.
The place smelled exactly like Josh remembered it. Antiseptic, mint, and that strange clean smell every dentist's office on Earth seemed contractually obligated to have.
A reception desk occupied one side of the room, separated from the waiting area by a low partition. Padded chairs lined two walls beneath framed certificates and posters involving teeth, gums, floss, and increasingly unpleasant consequences for ignoring all three. A low table in the middle held a collection of magazines in various stages of being read to death.
"Morning, Josh."
Josh looked toward the reception desk.
"Morning, Margaret."
Margaret smiled at him over her glasses, then glanced at the clock on the wall.
Her eyebrows rose.
"Shouldn't you be at school?"
"Normally, yeah. I'm excused."
"I see."
Her attention moved to Harry.
Not suspiciously. Just curious.
Josh was supposed to be away at boarding school, yet here he was on a Tuesday morning with a skinny boy she'd never seen before, wearing clothes several sizes too large for him.
"And who's this?"
"This is Harry. My cousin."
Harry gave her a small wave. "Hello."
"Hello, Harry."
Josh stepped up to the counter.
"Any chance one of the Grangers can get him in today?"
Margaret looked at him.
"You don't have an appointment."
"That would be why I'm asking nicely."
"Ah."
"I can ask less nicely if it'll improve our chances."
"It won't."
"Good thing I led with nicely, then."
Harry snorted.
Margaret shook her head, smiling as she pulled the appointment book closer.
"What does he need?"
"Full checkup, preferably. We need to figure out what we're dealing with."
"When was his last examination?"
Josh looked at Harry.
Harry looked back.
"When was the last time you went to the dentist?"
Harry frowned as he thought about it.
"I don't know."
"Last year?"
Harry shook his head.
"Couple years ago?"
Another shake.
Josh studied him.
"Ever?"
Harry shrugged.
"Dunno. Aunt Petunia took Dudley."
Josh waited.
Nothing else followed.
"But not you."
Another shrug.
Of course.
Josh looked back toward Margaret.
"Let's assume we're starting from scratch."
The humor faded from her expression, but she didn't make a production out of it.
"All right."
She ran a finger down the morning appointments, then shook her head.
"Not this morning, I'm afraid."
Josh nodded. "Figured it was a long shot."
"David and Helen are both booked through lunch."
She turned the page and scanned farther down.
"I could fit him in this afternoon."
"What time?"
"Quarter past four."
Josh looked down at Harry.
"Four-fifteen work for you?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."
Josh stared at him.
Harry stared back.
"Library."
Harry's entire face changed.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Oh."
Harry immediately looked back at Margaret.
"How long does a dentist take?"
Margaret smiled. "For an examination? Not terribly long."
Harry nodded seriously.
Josh watched the gears start turning.
"Four-fifteen means we're leaving the library before four."
"I know."
"I'm establishing that now."
"I said I know."
"Without an argument."
Harry frowned. "I wasn't going to argue."
"You haven't seen the library yet."
That gave him pause.
"How long are we staying?"
"Until we have to leave for your dentist appointment."
Harry considered that.
Apparently, it passed inspection.
"Okay."
Margaret chuckled quietly and wrote in the appointment book.
"Harry Potter, four-fifteen."
"Perfect."
"I'll need some information before you go. It'll save time when you come back."
"Sure."
She reached beneath the counter and pulled out a new-patient form.
"Full name, date of birth, address. Medical history, medications, allergies, and any previous dental work you know about."
Josh accepted the form and a pen.
Then looked at Harry.
Harry looked back.
"We might have some blanks."
Margaret's eyes moved between them.
"That's all right. Fill in what you can. David or Helen can go through anything you're unsure about this afternoon."
"Thanks."
Josh moved over to the waiting area and sat down, using one of the magazines beneath the form to give himself something solid to write against.
Harry dropped into the chair beside him.
Josh filled in the easy parts first.
Harry James Potter.
31 July 1980.
Then he reached the address.
He paused.
Harry leaned over to see what he was doing.
"What?"
"Trying to decide what your address is."
"The Manor?"
"That's what I'm thinking."
Harry nodded as if that settled it.
Apparently it did.
Josh wrote it down.
Medical history was less cooperative.
He knew what they'd learned yesterday. He knew what Harry had told them. He knew what they'd seen.
That was nowhere near the same thing as having ten years of medical records.
Josh filled in what he could and left the rest blank rather than guessing.
Margaret glanced over from the desk.
"Hermione will be sorry she missed you this morning."
Josh looked up.
"She's at school?"
Margaret gave him a look.
It took him half a second.
"...Right. Tuesday."
"Some children attend theirs during term."
Josh put a hand over his heart.
"That felt unnecessarily targeted."
"I'm sure you'll recover."
Harry looked between them.
"Who's Hermione?"
Josh went back to the form.
"The Granger's daughter. Friend of mine."
"How old is she?"
"Eleven."
Harry glanced toward the back of the practice.
"Will she be here when we come back?"
Margaret answered.
"She usually comes here after school. She should be."
Harry nodded.
"Does she go to your school?"
"Nope."
"What school does she go to?"
Josh glanced at Margaret.
"I actually don't remember the name."
Margaret supplied it.
Harry accepted the answer, then looked back at Josh.
"How do you know her if you don't go to the same school?"
"I've been coming here since eighty-eight."
"Oh."
Josh went back to the form.
He filled in the last few things he could answer, then stood and carried it back to the desk.
Margaret looked it over.
"We can sort out the rest when you come back."
"Four-fifteen."
"Four-fifteen."
Josh turned toward Harry.
"Come on."
Harry stood immediately.
"Shoes?"
"Shoes. And clothes. And glasses. Yes"
"And the library?"
"No, then lunch."
Josh headed for the door.
"Yes, Harry. We're still going to the library."
Harry grinned and hurried after him.
Josh pulled the door open, then looked back toward Margaret.
"See you this afternoon."
"See you then, Josh."
He stepped outside after Harry, and the bell chimed behind him.
Jack already had the Rolls waiting at the curb.
Harry made it halfway to the car before stopping to look down at his shoes.
Josh nearly walked into him.
"What?"
Harry lifted one foot.
The trainer had probably started life white. Years of use and somebody else's feet had reduced it to a vaguely grey object held together by worn stitching and stubbornness.
"How soon?"
Josh looked at the shoe.
Then at Harry.
"Immediately."
Harry grinned and climbed into the Rolls.
Josh followed.
Jack waited until the doors were shut before pulling away from the curb.
They hadn't gone far when Harry started watching the streets again.
Greater London passed outside the windows in brick terraces, little shops, buses, delivery vans, pedestrians and the steady accumulation of morning traffic. Harry seemed determined to look at all of it.
Josh let him.
After yesterday, watching Harry get excited about completely ordinary things was becoming strangely satisfying.
The Rolls carried them southwest.
It wasn't a particularly long drive, but traffic was traffic, magic or not, and by the time Jack turned toward Kingston the streets had become noticeably busier.
Harry finally looked forward.
"Where are we going?"
"Shopping."
"I know that."
Josh looked at him.
Harry waited.
"Kingston."
"What's in Kingston?"
"A shopping centre."
Harry frowned slightly. "Like shops all together?"
"Pretty much."
That seemed sufficient.
A few minutes later, the Rolls descended toward the entrance of a multistorey car park.
Harry leaned toward the window.
Then farther.
Josh caught the back of his shirt before his forehead reached the glass.
"Easy."
Harry barely noticed.
The building ahead was enormous.
Or, at least, enormous by the standards of a ten-year-old who hadn't exactly spent his childhood being taken on recreational shopping trips.
Josh looked up at the signs as Jack guided the Rolls inside.
The Bentall Centre.
Almost brand new.
Josh remembered that much now that he was looking at it.
Huh.
That worked.
Jack found a space.
The moment Harry stepped out of the car, Josh noticed him looking around again.
Cars filled row after row beneath concrete ceilings. Footsteps echoed. Somewhere nearby, a trolley rattled across the floor.
Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of trousers large enough that Josh suspected he could have fit another Harry in them.
Josh shut the door.
"First rule."
Harry looked up.
"Don't wander off."
"I won't."
"Second rule."
Harry waited.
Josh considered it.
"Actually, that's pretty much it."
Jack locked the Rolls.
"An inspiring standard of guardianship."
"I'm new."
"I'd noticed."
Harry laughed.
They headed inside.
The transition from car park to shopping centre hit Harry all at once.
Bright storefronts.
Glass.
Polished floors.
Escalators.
People moving in every direction.
Shop windows filled with clothes, shoes, jewelry, electronics, books, cosmetics and things Josh couldn't identify without getting closer.
Harry stopped dead.
Josh made it another two steps before noticing.
He looked back.
Harry was staring upward through the open interior of the centre.
"Big, huh?"
Harry nodded.
Josh glanced around.
By 2025 standards, it wasn't particularly overwhelming.
By 1991 standards, it was aggressively new.
By Harry standards?
Apparently they'd entered consumer heaven.
"Come on."
Harry followed.
They didn't get far.
His head kept turning toward windows as they passed, but there wasn't much longing in it yet.
Mostly curiosity.
That would change.
Josh spotted a shoe shop.
"Here."
Harry looked at the display.
Then down at his feet.
"Right."
Inside, a salesman took one look at Harry's shoes and another at Josh.
"Looking for replacements?"
"Several."
Harry looked up.
"Several?"
"Backup shoes."
"You weren't joking?"
"Nope."
The salesman smiled. "Let's start with his size."
Harry sat on one of the padded benches while the man disappeared and returned with a measuring device.
"Take those off for me."
Harry bent down and pulled off the old sneakers.
The salesman looked at Harry's feet.
Then at the sneakers.
His expression didn't change much, but Josh caught it.
"How long have you been wearing these?"
Harry shrugged.
"They were Dudley's."
The salesman glanced at Josh.
"Cousin," Josh said.
That explained absolutely nothing, but it apparently discouraged further questions.
Harry put his foot onto the measuring device.
The salesman adjusted it.
Then adjusted it again.
"Other foot."
Harry switched.
Another measurement.
The man sat back.
"Those are much too large."
Harry looked down at the sneakers.
"I know."
Josh did too.
"How much too large?"
The salesman told him.
Josh stared at the shoes.
Harry stared at the shoes.
"Okay," Josh said. "Those are going in the bin."
Harry immediately looked up.
"They still work."
"No, they don't."
"They do."
Josh picked one up.
The sole flexed in a way soles weren't supposed to flex.
Harry considered the evidence.
"Mostly."
"Bin."
The first pair they tried were ordinary tennis shoes.
Harry stood.
Took three steps.
Stopped.
Josh watched his face change.
Not dramatically.
Just confusion.
Harry looked down.
Walked another few steps.
Then back.
"These feel weird."
"Bad weird?"
Harry shook his head.
"No. Just..."
He flexed his toes.
"They don't move around."
Josh leaned back against the display.
"That's generally considered a feature."
Harry ignored him and walked another circle.
The salesman brought out another pair.
Then another.
Harry discovered very quickly that being asked what he preferred was apparently harder than being asked whether something fit.
"Which ones do you like?"
Harry looked between two pairs.
"They're both fine."
"Didn't ask if they're fine."
Harry looked at Josh.
"Which ones do you like?"
A pause.
Harry pointed.
"Those."
"Cool. Try them."
The answer came easier the next time.
By the fourth pair, Harry was actually rejecting things.
"Too tight."
"Good."
Harry looked at him strangely.
"What?"
"You said you don't like them. Progress."
Harry rolled his eyes.
Eventually they had sneakers for everyday wear, another pair as backup, and a pair of sensible shoes Harry could wear when tennis shoes weren't appropriate.
Then Harry stopped in front of a display near the back.
Josh knew before he even followed Harry's gaze.
Black leather.
Heavy soles.
Buckles.
Biker boots.
Josh looked down at his own dragonhide boots.
Then at Harry.
Harry was still staring.
"No."
Harry looked up.
"I didn't say anything."
"You didn't have to."
"I like them."
"I know why you like them."
Harry frowned. "What's wrong with them?"
"Nothing."
"Then why can't I get them?"
"Because there are better ones."
Harry looked at the boots again.
"Where?"
Josh smiled.
"Other side of the wall."
Harry stared at him.
"What wall?"
Behind them, Jack sighed.
Josh's smile widened.
"Diagon Alley."
Harry looked between them.
"There's a wall?"
"Yep."
"And there are boots behind it?"
"Better boots."
Harry looked down at Josh's.
"Like yours?"
"Dragonhide."
Harry's eyes immediately returned to them.
Josh lifted one foot slightly.
"Magically treated. Lighter than those, tougher, waterproof, and once they're properly fitted they're comfortable enough to wear all day."
Harry looked back at the biker boots.
The decision took considerably less time now.
"Can I get black ones?"
"Absolutely."
"With buckles?"
"As many as your little punk heart desires."
Harry frowned.
"My what?"
"You'll understand shortly."
Josh looked toward the salesman.
"We'll take the others."
The old sneakers did, in fact, go in the bin.
Harry walked out wearing his new sneakers.
Josh noticed immediately.
Harry's stride was different.
Nothing profound.
His shoes just fit.
That shouldn't have been remarkable.
Josh decided not to think about it too hard.
They made it perhaps fifty yards before Harry stopped again.
This time it was a clothing shop.
Josh followed his gaze.
Jeans.
Shirts.
Jackets.
Nothing particularly extraordinary.
Harry looked down at himself.
The contrast was brutal.
Josh nodded toward the entrance.
"Let's go."
Harry hesitated.
"All of it?"
Josh looked at the shirt hanging nearly to Harry's knees.
"Harry."
"Right."
Inside, things immediately became more complicated.
Shoes had sizes.
Clothes had opinions.
Harry apparently didn't have many yet.
Josh held up a shirt.
"This?"
Harry shrugged.
Josh put it back.
Another.
"That?"
Another shrug.
Back.
Harry frowned.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting."
"For what?"
"You to actually like something."
"I don't know."
"Then look."
Harry looked around.
Josh gestured toward the racks.
"Don't worry about what I like. Don't worry about what Jack likes. And don't look at the price."
Harry's eyes immediately dropped toward a tag.
Josh caught him.
"Oi."
Harry looked up.
"I said don't."
"But..."
"No."
Harry glanced toward Jack.
Jack offered absolutely no rescue.
Josh pointed around the shop.
"Colors. Shirts. Jeans. Jackets. Whatever. Pick stuff up. If you hate it, put it back. If you like it, try it on."
Harry looked uncertain.
"How much?"
Josh stared at him.
Harry corrected himself.
"How many?"
"Enough."
"How many is enough?"
"We'll know when Jack starts worrying about fitting it in the car."
"The boot is quite large," Jack said.
Harry grinned.
Josh pointed at him.
"See? You've got room."
It started slowly.
A dark blue shirt.
Jeans.
Another shirt.
A jumper.
Harry rejected a green one immediately.
Josh didn't ask why.
Then another pair of jeans.
A jacket caught his attention.
He touched the sleeve.
Looked at it.
Put it back.
Josh took it off the rack and handed it to him.
"I wasn't sure."
"That's why changing rooms exist."
Harry took it.
Ten minutes later he emerged wearing jeans that actually stopped where trousers were supposed to stop, the dark shirt, and the jacket.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
And stayed there.
Josh leaned against the wall.
Harry turned slightly.
Then the other way.
The clothes fit.
Not technically fit.
Actually fit.
Shoulders where Harry's shoulders were.
Sleeves ending at his wrists.
Jeans that didn't require a belt cinched halfway to surrender just to stay up.
Harry looked over.
"What?"
Josh shrugged.
"You tell me."
Harry looked at himself again.
"I like these."
"Then we're getting them."
Harry nodded.
He looked back at the mirror.
"Can I wear them now?"
Josh's answer was immediate.
"Yep."
That got a smile.
They added more from there.
Not an entire wardrobe from one shop.
Enough.
Harry had started developing opinions now, and Josh wasn't about to interrupt that by grabbing everything in his size.
Jack, meanwhile, had become suspiciously attentive.
Josh caught him checking the label inside one of Harry's shirts.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking."
"At?"
"Material."
Josh narrowed his eyes.
Jack checked the stitching.
Then the manufacturer.
"Jack."
"Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
Jack handed the shirt back to Harry.
"Learning what he likes."
Harry looked between them.
Josh did too.
Then it clicked.
"Oh."
Jack nodded.
"We'll need his measurements."
Harry looked down at himself.
"For what?"
"Clothing."
"We're buying clothes."
"These are clothes," Jack agreed.
Josh's eyes narrowed.
"That was a Jack answer."
"A little."
Josh waited.
Jack relented.
"Once we know what Harry actually prefers, his measurements and selections can be sent to one of the House workshops."
Harry blinked.
"You make clothes?"
"Among other things."
Josh pointed at Jack.
"No."
Jack stopped.
"We are not doing MOCK again."
"I wasn't."
"Good."
Josh looked at Harry.
"Basically, buy what you like today. They'll make better versions later."
Harry looked at the shirt he was holding.
"The same?"
"If that's what you want."
"Why?"
Josh looked at Jack.
Jack answered.
"Better materials. Better construction. Proper fitting. And there's little reason for you to pay for a label when we can produce something superior."
Harry absorbed that.
Then looked at Josh.
"Is that normal?"
"For my family?"
Josh considered everything he'd learned that morning.
"I have absolutely no fucking idea."
Harry laughed.
They arranged for proper measurements before leaving.
Harry tolerated the process with increasing amusement as numbers accumulated.
Chest.
Waist.
Inside leg.
Sleeve.
Shoulders.
Neck.
Josh watched the measuring tape go around him.
Skinny.
Painfully so.
But that wasn't going to last.
Food would handle some of it.
Time would handle the rest.
And apparently House Myrddin would handle the tailoring.
Once they were done, Harry left wearing the jeans, shirt and jacket he'd chosen.
His old clothes went into bags rather than the bin.
Josh didn't ask why.
They could deal with that later.
Back in the centre, Harry lasted perhaps three minutes before stopping again.
Josh nearly laughed.
"What now?"
Harry wasn't looking at a normal clothing shop.
The storefront looked like somebody had thrown the last fifteen years of youth rebellion into a blender and rented retail space for the result.
Posters covered the walls behind the glass.
Records.
Cassettes.
Badges.
Patches.
Black T-shirts.
Cheap jewelry.
Movie posters.
Band logos.
Graffiti-style lettering sprawled across a deliberately broken-looking slab of fake concrete above the entrance.
OFF THE WALL
Josh stopped.
Looked at the sign.
Looked at Jack.
Jack saw it too.
"No."
Josh hadn't said anything.
"Come on."
"No."
"It's funny."
"It's dated."
"It's May of 1991. It's practically current events."
Harry looked between them.
"What?"
"Nothing," Jack said.
Josh grinned.
"Puns."
Jack walked inside without him.
Harry followed.
Josh stared after them.
"Traitor."
Then he went in.
Harry discovered the shirts almost immediately.
That was the end of any hope of getting through quickly.
Josh found him staring at an entire wall of band merchandise.
Queen.
Pink Floyd.
The Clash.
The Cure.
Bon Jovi.
Billy Idol.
Sex Pistols.
Harry moved slowly along the display.
Then stopped.
He pulled out a Queen shirt.
Josh looked at it.
Then Harry.
Harry noticed.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You did the face."
"What face?"
"The one where you're thinking something."
"I think things all the time."
Harry stared at him.
Josh stared back.
"Get the shirt."
Harry looked down at it.
Then grinned.
Pink Floyd joined it.
Then The Clash.
The Cure.
Bon Jovi.
Billy Idol.
Harry found a Sex Pistols shirt and held it up.
Josh raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You keep saying that."
"Do you like it?"
Harry looked at the shirt.
"Yeah."
"Then get it."
Into the growing collection it went.
Then Harry stopped again.
Josh followed his gaze.
Nirvana.
Not Nevermind.
Not yet.
Earlier stuff.
Bleach.
Sub Pop.
Josh stared for perhaps half a second too long.
Harry noticed.
"You know them?"
"Yeah."
"Are they good?"
Josh looked at the display.
You have no fucking idea.
"Yeah."
Harry added one.
Josh said nothing else.
Then came the flannels.
Harry picked up the first almost absentmindedly.
Dark plaid.
He held it against himself.
Looked toward a mirror.
Then toward Josh.
Josh was wearing one.
Harry looked back at the flannel.
Josh noticed.
He wisely kept his mouth shut.
Harry tried it on over the Queen shirt.
Open.
Jeans.
New sneakers.
Messy black hair.
Round glasses.
Josh stared.
Harry looked over.
"What?"
"Nothing."
Harry's eyes narrowed.
Josh smiled.
"Looks good."
Harry looked back at himself.
Then grabbed another flannel.
And another.
Jack walked up carrying a basket.
Josh looked at it.
"Where'd you get that?"
"I anticipated a problem."
Harry dropped the flannels inside.
Josh looked at Jack.
Jack looked at Harry.
Then back at Josh.
Neither said anything.
Harry moved on to badges.
Josh followed.
Somewhere between a Clash patch and a cheap pair of black sunglasses, Harry finally looked at the growing basket.
Then at Josh.
"Is this too much?"
Josh looked inside.
Shirts.
Flannels.
A couple of patches.
Badges.
A poster Harry had rolled carefully beneath one arm.
Absolutely none of it necessary.
"Do you want it?"
Harry hesitated.
"Yeah."
"Then no."
Harry looked down at the basket again.
"But I don't need any of it."
Josh stopped.
There it was.
He leaned one shoulder against the display.
"Harry."
Harry looked up.
"You're allowed to own things because you like them."
Harry didn't answer.
Josh nodded toward the basket.
"Not everything has to do a job."
Harry looked at the Queen shirt on top.
Then at the poster under his arm.
"Even this?"
Josh looked at the poster.
"Especially that."
A small smile appeared.
Harry put it in the basket.
Josh pushed away from the display.
"Come on."
"Where?"
"Glasses."
Harry's hand immediately went to the bridge of his current pair.
Josh smiled.
"And after that, lunch."
Harry brightened.
Then paused.
"And the library."
Josh sighed.
"Yes, Harry."
Harry grinned.
"The library."
And with two bags of clothes, a basket full of things Harry absolutely did not need, and Jack carrying himself with the quiet dignity of a man pretending none of this was getting out of hand, they headed for the till.
The cashier took one look at the basket, then at Harry, then at Josh. Jack stood behind them looking like the only responsible adult in the building. Fair.
The cashier started ringing everything through. Queen, Pink Floyd, The Clash, The Cure, Bon Jovi, Billy Idol, Sex Pistols, Nirvana, flannels, badges, patches, and the poster. Harry watched the total climb until Josh caught him staring at the numbers.
"Don't."
Harry looked over. "I didn't say anything."
"You were about to."
"I was just looking."
"At the price."
"That's usually where they put it."
Josh pointed at him. "Smartass."
Harry grinned.
Jack paid while Josh and Harry divided up the bags, Harry insisting on carrying some of his own things. They hadn't made it twenty feet before Harry pulled the Queen shirt halfway out of one.
"Can I wear this?"
Josh looked at him. "You're already wearing a shirt."
"I know."
Oh.
"Go for it."
A few minutes later, Harry emerged from the toilets in the Queen shirt, one of his new flannels open over it, new jeans and trainers. The jacket had migrated into a bag. Josh looked him over.
"Better?"
"Do you think it's better?"
Harry smiled. "Yeah."
"Then yeah."
Jack was looking between them.
Josh narrowed his eyes. "What?"
"Nothing."
"That was absolutely something."
Jack's mouth twitched.
Josh looked at Harry, then down at himself, then back at Jack.
"Oh, shut up."
"I haven't said anything."
"You don't have to."
Harry looked between them. "What?"
"Nothing," they said together.
Sirius is going to have kittens.
That thought carried Josh all the way to the optician.
They were lucky enough to catch a cancellation, and the receptionist told them Harry could be examined shortly. When she asked when he'd last had his eyes tested, Harry could only shrug.
"I don't know."
Josh closed his eyes.
Of course.
The woman examined Harry's battered glasses, turning them carefully in her hands. "How long have you had these?"
"Dunno."
"Were they made for you?"
Harry frowned. "I think so."
Josh's head snapped around. "You think so?"
"Aunt Petunia got them."
"Okay. We're starting from scratch."
While they waited, Josh sent Harry toward the displays to pick out frames. Harry immediately treated the problem like glasses were equipment rather than something he was allowed to have an opinion about.
"Shouldn't I just get the best ones?"
"The best ones are the ones that let you see, don't hurt, and you actually like wearing."
"They're just glasses."
Josh grabbed a pair of enormous plastic frames and put them on.
Harry stared.
Jack turned away.
"Still just glasses?"
Harry broke into laughter. "Those look terrible."
"Excellent. We've established your first preference."
That got Harry moving. He started with frames similar to his old round ones, then slowly branched out. "They're okay" became "No," and eventually he found a pair of simple dark metal frames that made him stop in front of the mirror.
"I like these."
"Put them in the maybe pile."
"The what?"
"Try enough others that you know you like those best."
Harry considered that. "That makes sense."
Josh turned toward Jack. "Did you hear that?"
Jack nodded. "I did."
"He said I made sense."
Harry grinned. "Treasure the moment."
Josh looked between them. "Fuck both of you."
Harry was still laughing when they called him for the examination.
Josh stayed out of the way while the optometrist worked. Harry's prescription had changed enough that new lenses were definitely warranted, but nothing else immediately concerned him. His current glasses weren't worth investing much money into, though they could straighten the frames, tighten everything and clean them up enough to serve until the new pair arrived.
"Do it."
Harry opened his mouth.
Josh pointed at him without looking.
Harry closed it.
Afterward, Harry went back through his favorites and settled on the dark metal pair. His eyes immediately drifted toward the price tag.
Josh stepped between him and it.
"Really?"
"Really."
"I was only looking."
"Look somewhere else."
Jack suggested a second pair as backup, which earned both of them a suspicious look from Harry.
"How much stuff needs backups?"
Josh considered that question in light of his own inventory.
"More than you'd think."
Harry eventually picked a second pair. By the time his old glasses came back, they were straight, tightened and sitting level on his face for probably the first time in years.
Harry pushed them experimentally up his nose.
They stayed there.
His face brightened. "They don't slide."
Josh smiled. "Another feature."
It wasn't the new prescription yet, but it would do until those were ready.
Josh checked the time as they stepped back into the shopping centre.
Harry caught the movement immediately.
"Lunch?"
"Lunch."
"And the library."
Josh stared at him.
Harry grinned.
Jack opened the door. "I believe you're losing this battle."
"I was never fighting the library."
"You keep sighing when I say it."
"Because I know you."
"You've known me for a day."
"Longest day of my fucking life."
Harry laughed.
Josh smiled.
Lunch, then the library.
And God help whoever tried getting Harry out of there by four.
...
Congratulations. you have ..... I personally hate hearing that while listening to books on here. In fact the word congratulations has started to trigger my irritation when it gets voiced in my ear. Having said that. Thanks for sticking with the story so far. We've got a couple of more chapters for world building before we get to the story proper. For those who were hoping to see Harry meet Hermione here, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the current ending gives it a much cleaner emotional climax. The next day, Harry will get the traditional entry to the magical world for most no maj raised kids in the UK. Wizards and their traditions after all. So, we have that to look forward to, as Harry gets to go to Gringotts , Florish and Blotts, and maybe an additional place or two. This is not his school shopping trip. That is still a couple of months away, and the Hogwarts term hasn't quite ended just yet. Thanks for reading to this point. I'll update more when I can.