Akira felt his body moving on its own, light as a feather carried by the wind. Still dazed from the hit, he slowly opened his eyes.
Confused, he noticed he was still inside that abandoned building… although everything around him seemed to be moving.
"Are the walls moving… or am I imagining things…?" he muttered.
At that moment he noticed the heavy footsteps.
He started to sweat as he slowly turned his neck.
And there it was.
The helmet of the heavy armor… carrying him in its arms like a princess.
Hhhssss… kshhh…
The helmet turned with a metallic creak, staring straight at him.
"Hiiiiiiiii!"
"Hssssss… Hiiiiiii!"
Both got scared at the same time.
The armor made a small jump back in fright… and without noticing, slammed Akira against a doorframe.
THUNK.
Akira lost consciousness again.
SPN: Notification! Intelligence points lost ×1.
SPN: Notification! 2×1 bonus on trauma fainting. Resistance to head blows obtained.
*************
Later that day…
*************
Our scared rabbit woke up again. This time he seemed to be lying on a bed.
"Ouch…" he exclaimed, holding his forehead. "I have a terrible headache…"
He removed a damp cloth from his forehead and saw that next to the bed there was a glass of water and some fruit.
As if someone had been taking care of him.
"Where am I…?"
He began to look around the place.
It looked like a pretty cozy cabin, with a small fireplace and a warm comforting fire.
"What a nice place… it feels like a warm home…" he thought with some melancholy.
"Yeah idiot, I just described it," thought the omniscient narrator.
Akira's eyes kept scanning the room… until they spotted the large armor in a corner.
"What the hell?!"
He jumped in shock and hit his head against the wall.
This time he didn't faint, he only felt the pain of the hit like any normal living being...
SPN: Stop hitting yourself, idiot! I'm not going to keep raising your stats.
Akira opened his eyes again.
And then he saw her.
A dark-skinned dwarf girl with pink hair was sitting near the bed, peeling an apple.
But she had gone completely still, like an animal in a survival documentary.
As if her life depended on it.
"Humans don't have good eyesight…"
"If I don't move… he won't see me…" the dwarf thought.
The seconds passed.
She stayed still like a statue.
Sweat started running down her face, but even so she didn't move a single muscle.
"Uh…" Akira finally said.
"Hiiiiiiii!"
The dwarf got scared and crawled across the floor toward her armor.
"D-don't hurt me!" she said like a small frightened animal.
At that moment, Akira felt a real wave of confusion.
"Huh?"
The dwarf made a quick jump and pressed a button on the armor's chest, revealing a small cockpit.
She climbed the armor like a nervous squirrel and closed the hatch, settling inside as if it were a mecha.
"P-please don't come closer…" she said from inside.
Akira looked at her in disbelief.
"Why are you scared? I should be the one who's scared!"
The armor stayed in the corner, as if it were ashamed.
"Humans scare me…" the voice inside murmured. "And bats… and maybe rodents… and… and moths."
Akira's face immediately turned skeptical.
"My mother says humans like to eat dwarves…" she added with a trembling voice.
Akira sighed.
"I can assure you humans don't eat dwarves…"
He paused to think for a second.
"Well… maybe some cannibal human might… but I'm not that kind of human." he clarified with indignation.
The cockpit slowly opened again and Momo cautiously peeked her head out.
"If I come out, do you promise… not to hurt me?"
"Yeah, yeah… relax. I wouldn't hurt even a fly."
The SPN panel unfolded in an instant.
SPN: Notification! According to previous records, you have indeed harmed—
Akira smacked it away.
The panel shot off toward the stars.
"Ignore that…"
Then he looked back at her.
"What's your name?"
She jumped down from her armor, although she still kept a safe distance.
"M-my name… is Momo. Momo Titania."
"I'm Akira Usagi." he said with a smile.
Then he coughed discreetly.
"Temporary king of Faraluz. Nice to meet you."
Momo tilted her head.
"Faraluz? Wasn't that kingdom abandoned… and bankrupt?"
"Well… yeah…" Akira replied with a grimace. "It's just that a suspicious god brought me to this world."
She looked at him even more confused.
"It'll be easier if I show you," he said. "Don't get scared, okay?"
Momo nodded cautiously.
Akira extended his hand and little by little, his hero's katana materialized in it.
"I haven't used it in a long time, so I don't remember its name… but it's my hero weapon," he said with confidence.
Her eyes shined like those of a little girl.
"A hero…"
In her mind, she imagined herself as a manga heroine, wearing her huge armor and wielding a heavy axe.
"I wish I were that brave…" she murmured.
At that moment, a small bubble appeared above Akira's head.
Inside it appeared the furious image of Aoi.
"Did you fall out of your crib when you were a baby?"
"How can you go around telling everyone you're a hero?"
"And you're bankrupt too!"
"Idiot!"
The image of Aoi hit him with an imaginary fan and set a rebellious strand of his hair on fire.
Momo pointed at him with concern.
"Your hair is smoking…"
"Don't worry," Akira replied while putting out the small flame. "Someone is probably talking bad about me."
Momo thought that in that situation someone would normally sneeze… but she decided not to get into details.
"By the way…" Akira said.
"Why were you chasing me?"
Momo became nervous again.
"I-I… I… um…"
But before she could answer, Akira's panel unfolded again.
This time it was scorched… and slightly on fire, as if it had gone through the atmosphere and returned from outer space.
SPN: To be continued…
SPN: Episode sponsored by "Deities INC – Divine cable from only 3 prayers per month".
****************************************
In the celestial space of our questionable deity…
****************************************
"What do you mean To be continued?!"
"What the hell happened next?!" shouted the god Uzaki while hitting the television. "What do they think this is?! A pirate anime?!"
"Master Uzaki!" Marcus said, trying to stop him. "We don't have money for another TV!"
"Let me go, Marcus! They're taking the fun out of life!"
For a few seconds on screen, the god Uzaki kept hitting that old television… which clearly wasn't to blame for his world being an economic disaster.
"I should've retired earlier…" thought the television.
SPN: Don't forget to pray to Uzaki, your favorite femboy god.