Chapter 3: "The Day I Became a Normal, Freezing, Possibly-Delusional Kid"
POV: Ren Kisaragi
Let me just say: waking up in a stranger's bed in a weird house, in a weird world, with no noodles in sight and absolutely zero Ki?
Yeah. Not on my bucket list.
At first, I thought it was a prank. Maybe Master Jin decided to teach me a lesson about oversleeping by throwing me into the weirdest low-rank mission ever. That sounded like something he'd do between drinking and pretending to be wise.
But nope. No Ki. No familiar scents. Just this tall, skinny, shivering body that clearly hadn't been trained to do anything except sit in a classroom and maybe lift a pencil.
I ran through the neighborhood like someone had set my butt on fire. Not because I was being chased—nope—I was just trying to figure out where I was. But the longer I ran, the clearer it became.
This body? It sucked.
My lungs were wheezing like a broken flute. My legs were about as sturdy as two chopsticks taped together. And don't get me started on the cold. Back at the Veiled Moon Sect, I'd been out in blizzards wearing basically pajamas and sandals. But this body?
This body was about to cry because the wind nipped at its fingers.
I slowed down, huffing and puffing like I'd just done a thousand pushups with Akira and Master Daigo breathing down my neck. My arms were wrapped around myself, trying to trap some warmth, but it felt useless.
"I hate this," I muttered as I rubbed my hands together, breath fogging up the air in front of me. "I actually miss the Sect. The noodle stand. Even Aiko punching me in the head."
Okay, maybe not that last one.
I kept walking and somehow ended up in a park—one of those places you only see in movies with kids playing and parents drinking weird brown drinks in cups. Only, this one was empty because apparently, people in this world sleep in.
I slipped into the public restroom and locked myself in a stall, huddling on the toilet seat like it was my new ninja hideout. It was gross, sure, but it was warmer than outside. I rubbed my hands, trying to summon even the smallest flicker of Ki. Nothing. Not even a tickle.
"This has to be an illusion art," I whispered, pulling out the little kitchen knife I'd swiped earlier. It wasn't even a kunai. Just a kitchen knife. I felt like the world's worst ninja right now.
I held it up and stared.
"Illusion," I told myself. "It's all fake. This is just like the time Raiden messed with Lady Kaede, right?"
Except… I didn't have any of my ninja tools. No seal tags. No sensei. No Ballom whispering angry thoughts in the back of my head.
Just me, and the cold, and this frail, boring, twitchy body.
I hesitated. Then—I did something stupid. Very Ren of me.
I slashed the palm of my hand.
"AHHHHHH!"
Yup. Screamed like a little academy kid.
Blood dripped from the cut—bright red, too real. The pain? A thousand times worse than training injuries. No Ki to dull it. No healing. Just raw, stinging fire across my skin.
The room tilted. My arms felt heavy. My vision blurred like I'd just spun in circles for ten minutes.
This wasn't an illusion.
I wasn't in the Veiled Moon Sect anymore.
I wasn't even Ren anymore.
I was some scrawny kid named… what was it? Kai? Kato? Kyoto?
Didn't matter. What mattered was I was stuck.
But I wasn't gonna cry. Not yet.
Because if there's one thing I, Ren Kisaragi, know how to do—
It's hold on when the world wants to throw you away.
So I took off my hoodie (which was basically paper-thin), tore the sleeve, and clumsily wrapped my hand. Not perfect. Not even good. But I wasn't giving up.
"I'm coming back," I whispered, more to myself than anyone. "Just wait for me, Master Jin. Don't give up on me."
Here's the thing about stabbing yourself to escape an illusion:
Don't.
I know, I know—sounds like basic ninja common sense. But when your Ki's gone, you're freezing your butt off in a toilet stall, and you think you've been yeeted into an illusion by someone named Sage Shirogane McEvil or worse? It sounds reasonable.
Until someone literally kicks the door open and shouts—
"What are you doing?!"
I blinked through the haze of pain and confusion to see… glitter?
Yup. Glitter.
This girl, maybe sixteen tops, had black twin-tails, sparkly eyes, and the frilliest dress I'd ever seen. Like, "exploded-fairy-costume-meets-princess-who-fell-into-a-party-store" levels of frilly.
She was holding my bleeding hand like it was the most normal thing in the world. Then—poof—warmth spread through me, and the cut sealed up like it was being stitched by invisible threads.
"What the heck?" I croaked, still half convinced I was hallucinating.
She smiled, striking a pose straight out of one of Sage Shirogane's weird transformation manga.
"Magical Girl, here to the rescue!"
…I stared.
I wish I had a better reaction. A witty comeback. A scream. Something.
But I just stared at her like she'd grown a second head and painted it pink.
I'm in a different world, I thought, deadpan.
Because if a girl who looked like a magical clown princess was calling herself a Magical Girl and healing people in bathrooms, then yeah, I was definitely not in the Veiled Moon Sect anymore.
"What were you thinking?" she asked, puffing up like an angry puffball. "You're just a kid! Why would you try to—" She glanced at the knife.
It froze in the air, cracked like a popsicle, and shattered into sparkling bits.
I am so not in the Veiled Moon Sect, I thought.
I hesitated, then looked away. "I thought it was an illusion," I muttered, voice low. "Hurting myself was supposed to break it."
That wasn't a lie. Not really.
I just… didn't tell her about the soul swap, Ballom, or the fact that I might've hijacked someone's life by accident.
She watched me for a second with the eyes of someone who could see more than you wanted them to. Like a good teacher. Or a scary aunt.
Then she crouched to my level and smiled again. "Is that so? Well, next time, don't. Or else your parents will cry, and that's way worse than being stuck in some illusion. Promise your big sister, okay?"
Big sister?
My chest squeezed, and I suddenly remembered the people in that house—Kaito's parents.
I'd almost… I almost…
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my throat catching. "I'll never do it again."
My hands trembled, but not from cold anymore. From the weight of everything I didn't understand. Everything I'd nearly messed up.
She nodded, brushing a tear from my cheek like she was a real sister. "Good boy."
Then she took my hand and guided me out of the park like it was just another stroll on a normal day. I tried not to look back at the stall. Tried not to think about how weak I'd been.
"Go back home, okay?" she said softly. "Your parents are probably worried sick."
Before I could say anything else—poof—she disappeared in a sparkle-flurry of magic sparkles and logic-defying fashion sense.
I stood there for a while, staring up at the sky.
"I'm going to fix this," I told myself. "Somehow. I'll find a way home."
Because I was Ren Kisaragi.
And I always kept my promises.
Even the ones I made to glittery magical girls in toilet stalls.
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Walking into a house that smells like breakfast and kindness when it's not your house?
Yeah. That's emotional whiplash with a side of scrambled identity.
I opened the front door, shoes muddy, soul heavier than a thousand training weights. Inside, the warm smell of eggs and miso hit me like a brick wall of memories I never lived. A woman—tall, gentle, maybe in her thirties—was standing in the kitchen, humming softly.
She turned when she heard me.
"Oh! You're back early, sweetie," she said with the kind of smile you only see in dreams or really cheesy family dramas. "I'm making your favorite—tamago yaki and grilled fish!"
I nodded mutely. Because what was I supposed to say?
"Thanks, lady I hijacked a life from"?
"Sorry I'm sweating through your couch because I ran away thinking this was an illusion death trap"?
Yeah. No.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I nodded again. Then I sat down on the sofa like my legs were jelly—because they kind of were—and tried to pretend my brain wasn't spiraling into the void.
The couch was warm. Soft. Clean.
Too clean for someone like me.
And then it hit me—like, really hit me.
This wasn't my body.
This wasn't my mom.
This wasn't my home.
And worst of all? I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. Some boy named Kaito. I didn't know his dreams or fears. I didn't even know what he liked for breakfast. And yet here I was, wrapped in a blanket of lies that smelled suspiciously like laundry detergent and motherly affection.
There are people with powers here, I thought. Magic. That frilly Magical Girl… was that real?
I clenched my fists, which felt way too skinny and soft to belong to me. Even at twelve, I had tougher skin. This body? It felt like someone cast a transformation art with 30% success rate and slapped a teenager filter on me.
What am I supposed to do? I thought, as tears prickled at the corners of my eyes. I can't fight like this. I can't survive like this. I'm not their son. I don't belong here.
But still, I had to live like I did.
Because if I messed up, someone innocent would pay the price.
And that?
That was something Ren Kisaragi didn't do.
I'll wait. Master Jin will come. He'll fix this, I told myself.
Until then… I'll survive.
The warmth of the sofa wrapped around me like a mother's hug—one I hadn't felt in years—and despite my brain screaming a thousand plans a minute… I fell asleep.
I didn't mean to.
I was just… tired.
Tired of holding everything up by myself.
From the kitchen, I vaguely heard the woman's voice—Miki Hoshino, I think—soft and affectionate.
"Oh my," she said, smiling. "I never thought he'd start training this early. I wonder what happened…"
I felt her gaze for a second—warm, proud, oblivious.
She thought I was her son.
And that just made me feel worse.
I heard her move about, probably making breakfast for the person she thought I was. I didn't deserve it.
But I let it happen.
Because in this upside-down world where I didn't even have my Ki anymore…
Eggs and kindness felt like the only things keeping me together.
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POV: Kaito Hoshino
Unfortunately Very Awake and Not Dreaming
So, imagine this: one minute, I'm Kaito Hoshino, perfectly normal Japanese teenager, professional underachiever, future Harem King, and proud owner of absolutely zero supernatural abilities. The next minute—bam—I'm trapped inside the body of a thirteen-year-old ninja, carrying some terrifying sealed creature I apparently really shouldn't ask too many questions about, while Master Jin Sazanami hauls me across the Veiled Moon Sect like luggage that has developed anxiety. Then—double bam—he carries me straight into an office belonging to a woman who looked capable of punching a mountain until the mountain apologized. I was beginning to suspect other-world adventures had been severely misrepresented in literature.
"Lady Shiori," Master Jin said, finally setting me down like a sack of rice containing unresolved emotional trauma, "we have a situation." The woman sitting behind the desk didn't even bother looking up from the mountain of documents in front of her. She had long golden hair, sharp brown eyes, and the kind of presence that made the entire room feel like it had suddenly remembered who was in charge. "What is it now?" she asked. "Did you destroy another tavern?" Master Jin looked offended. "That happened once." Lady Shiori finally glanced up. "Three times." "The second one was structurally unsound." "And the third?" Master Jin paused. "There were circumstances." I liked this woman already.
Then Master Jin's expression changed. He crossed the room, pressed two fingers against a seal beside the door, and a faint shimmer passed across the walls. Suddenly the room felt heavier, quieter, sealed away from everything outside. That was when Lady Shiori stopped looking annoyed and started looking worried. "Ren's soul is gone," Master Jin said. "The boy inside his body is Kaito Hoshino. Fifteen years old. From Earth." I gave a weak little wave. "Hi. I'm the unwanted replacement." Lady Shiori's eyes snapped toward me, then immediately returned to Jin. Surprisingly, she didn't react to the word Earth like he'd announced the discovery of some impossible new dimension. Instead, her face became even more serious. "Earth?" she repeated. "Yun Che's world?" Master Jin nodded. "The same."
That was the point where I stopped smiling. "Wait." Both of them looked at me. "You know Earth?" I asked. Lady Shiori frowned slightly, apparently realizing this was news to me. Master Jin looked like he had just stepped on a conversational landmine. "We know of Earth," he said carefully. "There are connections between our worlds." I stared at him. "Connections." "Yes." "As in people travel between worlds?" "Occasionally." I stared harder. "And nobody thought that was worth mentioning earlier?" Master Jin folded his arms. "You were screaming about your kidneys earlier." "Because I thought you were yakuza!" "You called me a muscle wizard." "You were carrying a sword!" Lady Shiori pinched the bridge of her nose. Somehow, despite knowing her for approximately thirty seconds, I could tell she was already tired of me.
Her attention returned to Master Jin. "If he came from Earth, then this may be easier than we feared. We can contact the Heavenly Flame Sect and request an audience with the Azure Knight." Master Jin didn't answer immediately, and that silence changed the atmosphere again. He walked toward the window, his expression tight. "Maybe," he said. "But I don't want to involve him until we know what happened." Lady Shiori's eyes narrowed. "Jin." "Think about it. This wasn't an accident caused by some unstable formation. Shun found no traces of any technique we recognize. Two souls were exchanged across universes, completely and cleanly. Whoever did this bypassed Ren's protections, Ballom's seal, and the barriers surrounding the Veiled Moon Sect without leaving so much as a footprint." He turned back toward her. "Someone below Sage level couldn't do that."
I raised my hand. "Excuse me." Neither responded. "Just for my own mental health, how strong is a Sage?" Still nothing. I lowered my hand. Fine. Apparently my mental health had been officially removed from the agenda.
Lady Shiori leaned back slowly, and for the first time since I entered the room, she looked genuinely unsettled. "You suspect someone." Master Jin's jaw tightened. "I suspect several people. But one in particular has the knowledge to attempt something like this." She didn't need him to say the name. I could tell by the way her expression hardened. "Shirogane." Master Jin nodded. "The Sage of Knowledge." Something in his voice changed when he said the title. Not fear exactly. Something older. More personal. "He was my friend once," Jin continued. "Before knowledge became more important to him than people. Before every boundary became another obstacle he believed existed only so he could cross it." His eyes darkened. "And now Kyo has gone to him."
That name I recognized. Ren's memories weren't mine, but Master Jin had already explained enough for me to understand the basics. Kyo had been Ren's teammate. Rival. Best friend. The person Ren had nearly died trying to bring home. Great. So the terrifying knowledge-obsessed Sage might have stolen Ren's soul across dimensions, and he currently had Ren's best friend. My first day in another world was going fantastically.
"He is also an enemy of the Azure Knight," Lady Shiori said quietly. Master Jin nodded again. "Which is exactly why we need to be careful. If Shirogane is responsible and we approach the Azure Knight immediately, Shirogane may assume we know more than we do. If he isn't responsible, we risk dragging an Ancient Sect into a situation we don't understand and accusing one of the most dangerous Sages alive without evidence." Lady Shiori tapped one finger against her desk. "And Earth is under the Azure Knight's protection." "Exactly. If someone deliberately moved a soul out of Earth without permission, this could become much larger than Ren." That sounded ominous enough that even I decided not to make a joke.
Lady Shiori looked at me then, really looked at me, and something in her face softened. "But if Kaito is alive here, there is a reasonable chance Ren is alive there." I hadn't expected her to sound so relieved. Her shoulders dropped just slightly. Her eyes glistened for half a second before she blinked it away. And okay, I may be a pervert with questionable priorities, but I'm not heartless. "Hey," I said. "For what it's worth, if Ren really ended up in my world, he's probably okay. Earth isn't exactly crawling with monsters in the streets. He'll have food, somewhere to sleep, television, phones... probably school." I paused. "Actually, depending on his opinion of math, maybe don't tell him the school part."
Lady Shiori actually laughed once. It was small, tired, but real. Then she stood, walked around the desk, and grabbed me by the shoulders. Before I knew what was happening, she had lifted me slightly and was inspecting me like I was a suspiciously shaped vegetable at the market. "Uh... hello?" I said. "Shun confirmed Ballom's seal is stable?" she asked Jin. "Completely." "And Kaito's soul?" "Integrated with Ren's body." She set me down again. "Then until we know more, this boy is under our protection." I liked the sound of that. Much better than experimental soul replacement.
Then she looked directly at me. "There is something you need to understand, Kaito. Ren Kisaragi is not an ordinary disciple. There are people who would hunt him simply because of what is sealed inside him. Until we restore your bodies, they will see you when they look at Ren." My stomach performed a small funeral procession. "So I'm going to be hunted for something I didn't do, by people I don't know, because of a monster I didn't ask for." "Possibly." I considered this. "I want to file a complaint with whoever manages reincarnation." Master Jin sighed. "You weren't reincarnated." "Then whoever manages soul transfers." "There isn't a department for that." "There should be."
Lady Shiori almost smiled again, but her expression quickly hardened into command. "Jin, train him. From the beginning. Ki control, movement, survival, combat—everything he needs to keep Ren's body alive. Quietly. Nobody outside the people already involved learns what happened." Master Jin nodded. "And Ren?" he asked. "We investigate first. Find out whether Shirogane moved recently, whether any Sage-level disturbances were detected, and whether anyone has been watching Earth. Once we know enough to approach the Heavenly Flame Sect without walking blindly into whatever this is, we request a meeting with the Azure Knight." Her eyes sharpened. "If Ren is on Earth, he is within the Azure Knight's territory. That may be the safest place he could have landed."
That sounded reassuring. Mostly. There was still the tiny issue of me being stranded in Ninja Murder World while Ren got electricity, supermarkets, and my bedroom. "So," I said, raising my hand again, "while Ren gets to live in my house, I get secret training and assassins?" Master Jin nodded. "Essentially." I thought about that. Adventure. Superpowers. Training. Dangerous enemies. A completely new world full of beautiful ninja women. Maybe things weren't entirely terrible. Then I noticed Lady Shiori watching my expression. "Whatever you're thinking," she said, "stop." "I wasn't thinking anything." "You were smiling." "I smile when nervous." "You were looking at my chest." "I also look downward when nervous."
Master Jin grabbed the back of my collar before I could continue digging my own grave. "We're leaving." "Good," Lady Shiori said. "And Jin?" He stopped at the door. "Be careful. If Shirogane really did this..." Master Jin's humor disappeared entirely. "I know."
He dragged me into the hallway, but his silence bothered me more than the threats, the ancient monster, or the fact that I was apparently about to begin ninja boot camp. Master Jin wasn't wondering whether Ren was alive anymore. I could see that much.
He was wondering why someone powerful enough to move souls between universes wanted Ren Kisaragi gone.
And for once, even my brain couldn't find a joke for that.