Deadpool, having unexpectedly arrived in the Savage Land, discovered a primitive tribe in the middle of a ritual, sacrificing to a "god"—which was, without a doubt, his own head.
Specifically, it was a zombie version of his head.
Deadpool spent a long time thinking about it, but he couldn't fathom why a zombie version of his own head would appear here. Ultimately, he could only chalk it up to the heavy hand of the author. Regardless of the reason, he was absolutely certain about what he had to do next.
And that was to kill that damn head! How dare something that ugly show up in front of him? At that thought, Deadpool instantly drew his twin swords and charged toward the altar. He lunged straight for Headpool in the center of the ritual. Upon seeing Deadpool rushing toward him, Headpool hesitated for a moment, stunned, before his face split into a wide, overjoyed grin.
"That's the guy! Cut off his head and offer his body to me!"
"Don't be so impatient, pal. There's a long line of people who crave this body; you're going to have to wait your turn!"
Deadpool didn't care whether these tribesmen were innocent or not. He waded in with his katanas, carving through the primitive warriors like he was dicing vegetables.
However, these primitives weren't entirely helpless. First, there were a lot of them. Second, they possessed plenty of ranged weapons. After Deadpool easily cut down several men, countless bows were aimed at him, and they all opened fire simultaneously.
"NOOOOO!!!!!"
Deadpool described the scene with over-the-top exaggeration, acting as if his death were certain. In reality, though he was instantly turned into a pincushion, he didn't lose consciousness for a second. Instead, he stayed down, deciding to play along with the primitive tribesmen's performance to see what would happen next.
As for Headpool on the other side, perhaps because he was just a head or because he had been without a healing factor for too long, he didn't see a problem at all. He simply laughed uproariously and waved his followers forward to decapitate Deadpool. "Come on! Cut his head off! I'm finally going to have a body again!"
Hearing that they were going to chop off his head, Deadpool finally prepared to move. But at that moment, he heard other voices.
"Was that report about abnormal spatial signals nearby true or false?"
"I think it's fake, Bob. Think about it—we've been here for decades. Who could possibly break in?"
Two Hydra soldiers walked over, chatting casually. The primitives here viewed them as gods, and they didn't anticipate any danger—until they walked in and saw a talking zombie head and Deadpool lying on the ground.
The two Hydra grunts instantly began to stammer.
"D-D-D—Deadpool!"
"Z-Z-Z—Zombie!"
"Hey, you guys are actually quite rhythmic!"
Wade, who had been lying on the ground, suddenly sprang up. Taking advantage of the primitives' distracted state, he made a beeline for that damn zombie head. Then, he was promptly hit by a burst of gunfire from the Hydra grunts.
The mid-air pounce ended with Deadpool face-planting into the dirt.
"There really is a zombie. This is definitely going to be a huge merit. Who knows how this zombie head got here? Maybe it can help us develop cross-dimensional technology."
One of the Hydra grunts walked over, laughing. After a few words with the primitives, he picked Headpool up by the hair, intending to take him back for a promotion.
But Headpool had no intention of going to a lab. Using one of the only two muscles he had left that still worked—his tongue—he forcefully shifted his position.
Then, he took a savage bite out of the damn Hydra grunt.
"Meat! Fresh meat! Hahaha!"
Watching this, Bob, the other Hydra grunt, nearly lost control of his bladder. But Deadpool, having recovered, stood up and walked over to Bob, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "You know, pal, generally speaking, the next step is for the infected guy to get back up."
Sure enough, after the grunt had been gnawed on for thirty seconds, the corpse began to stir. The primitives, having no idea what was happening, began to prostrate themselves before this "miracle" of resurrection.
But the Hydra zombie didn't care about followers. There was only one sound in his mind: meat. More meat!
He lunged onto a tribesman instantly, beginning to feast.
Terrified by the sight, Bob grabbed Deadpool. "You—aren't you going to do something?!"
"Hmm? I'm waiting for the zombies to get a little payback on these 'Planet of the Apes' primitives before I do anything else."
Unfortunately, someone didn't give Deadpool that chance. A spear thrust directly through the head of the Hydra grunt zombie, sending him to meet his maker.
However, the person who had been bitten still woke up as a new zombie, only to have his head pierced by Ka-Zar, thoroughly putting an end to the resident evil.
Deadpool was left a bit stunned by the scene.
But he wasn't the only one; another group was equally dumbfounded.
Namely, Peter and Kitty, who had followed behind Ka-Zar.
Peter had initially been curious about the gunfire and the chaotic commotion, so he had rushed over. He found Deadpool there, for some reason, currently slaughtering his way through the area. But Deadpool's presence wasn't the biggest shock for Peter.
The biggest shock was the thing on the altar! That was a freaking zombie head!
What was going on? A Deadpool and Headpool story? But the zombie universe, Earth-2149, was supposed to have been blown to bits by Doom. How could Headpool show up here? Even if he suspended all disbelief, given how powerful the dimensional barriers of the current 616 Prime Universe were, how did Headpool break in?
Peter's mind was flooded with questions and the constant ringing of his Spider-Sense. He had a premonition that if this wasn't handled correctly, it truly would turn into a Resident Evil event for Earth-616.
Kitty, who had been watching Peter, noticed his mounting anxiety and quickly asked, "Is something very troublesome happening over there?"
Peter explained the situation regarding Headpool and the Zombie Universe to Kitty. She was stunned by the revelation, realizing just how terrifying this situation was.
"It looks like I have to step in personally. Deadpool isn't going to figure this out on his own, and I have things to ask him anyway."
Thinking of this, Peter realized another crucial point: how did Deadpool get in?
If they could figure that out, maybe they could bring the rest of the Avengers in to clear the field!
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